


Lifeline:  Hasetsu (Part 2)

by Denrhea



Series: Lifeline [2]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Anxiety, Best Friend Christophe, Best Friend Phichit, Hurt Katsuki Yuuri, M/M, Mentions of Rape, PTSD, Protective Victor Nikiforov, Protective Yuri Plisetsky, Rape Recovery, psychological support animal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-23
Updated: 2017-06-23
Packaged: 2018-10-22 21:16:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 35
Words: 100,557
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10705287
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Denrhea/pseuds/Denrhea
Summary: Five months ago, Victor met the love of his life on the day he describes as the best and worst day of his life.  Yuuri is raped when he returns to his room alone and when Victor finds him, he is forever entwined in Yuuri's life.Now, after guiding Yuuri from the darkness, Victor follows him home to Hasetsu.  Yuuri is still healing from the rape.  Victor is still healing from seeing his beloved broken that night.  And now, after being away from his family for five long years, Yuuri doesn't know how they truly feel about the events of his life.  How can he step back into that polite world from whence he came?  And when all of the politeness strips away, what will remain?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This work is FINISHED. You are welcome to leave comments but I may not necessarily reply. I am interacting with the current part being written.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Coming home isn’t always easy.

* * *

 

Yuuri stepped off the train and took a deep breath as he looked around.  Victor was right behind him and grinned at the view.

 

“Wow!  They really love you here,” Victor observed as his eyes landed on the many surfaces that held posters of Yuuri.

 

Color creeped up Yuuri’s neck and over his cheeks.  “I’ve always had a lot of support from my home town,” he responded.

 

“I need Yuuri posters,” he teased, slipping an arm around the younger man’s waist.  “It will go well with your collection.”

 

That heightened the color even more.  Dropping his chin to try and cover his embarrassment, he added, “Well, ummm, you saw the posters I had up in my room in Detroit.  You are about to see the teen version of that.”

 

Victor grinned in response, tightening his hold and brushing a kiss just behind Yuuri’s ear.  “I can’t wait!” he chirped.

 

Yuuri glanced his direction and yes, that was an eye roll.  Victor just laughed as he released Yuuri’s waist and grabbed his hand.  They had arranged for their luggage to be delivered at the inn from the airport and they only had their backpacks and the dogs at this point.  Their crates had been collapsed and placed with the luggage.

 

“So do we walk to your family’s inn?” Victor asked as he looked around.

 

Yuuri made a face in confusion.  “I thought they were going to pick us up.”

 

At that point, a voice sang out Yuuri’s name and they turned to see Minako dancing their direction holding a welcome sign.  Yuuri laughed and ran to meet her.  “I thought maybe everyone forgot me for a moment,” he teased.

 

She laughed, holding his hands warmly.  “Well, who could blame them?  It’s been what, five years?” she teased back.

 

Yuuri blushed and dropped his chin.  “I know.  I should have come home sooner.”

 

Minako’s face gentled.  “They understand, Yuuri.  They’re just glad you are home.”

 

Yuuri forced a smile and stepped back to reach towards Victor.  “I don’t believe I properly introduced you both last time.  Minako, this is Victor…my, ah, boyfriend.”  He squirmed a little, cheeks pinking once more and Victor watched the younger man as if he was the most adorable creature he’d ever seen.  Recovering, he motioned towards the woman and stated, “And Victor, this is Minako, my ballet instructor from the time I was four or five and family friend.”

 

They reached out to shake hands and Minako, who had been slightly hesitant after that first meeting, noted the warm way he squeezed her hand.  “It’s a pleasure to meet you finally under better circumstances,” he murmured breaking the ice.

 

Minako looked up slyly, and responded, “The pleasure’s all mine.  It’s a rare soul that can capture this shy bunny.”

 

Victor chuckled softly as he glanced towards his boyfriend who once more blushed.  He was going to wear permanent color at this point.  “Come, Yuuri, let’s take you home.  It has been far too long and your parents are eager to see you, I am certain.”  They led the dogs over to the minivan and loaded them in.  Victor opened the passenger door but insisted Yuuri take the seat so that he can visit with Minako.  He would take the back seat.

 

The ride to the inn was pleasant and Minako proved to be warm and inviting once properly introduced.  She filled Yuuri in on the local gossip and Yuuri laughed at a few of her references.  As they drew up to the house, he hesitated, nervously tightening his hold on Cocoa who had crawled into his lap at some point during the drive.

 

Victor reached over the seat and squeezed his shoulder.  “It will be fine.  They’re your family and, even if they weren’t, how can they help but love you?”

 

Yuuri nodded, climbing out of the passenger seat.  He accepted the lead from Victor and attached it to Cocoa’s harness.  Victor swung their backpacks over his shoulder, then clipped Makka’s lead onto him.  He turned with a smile when he felt Yuuri’s small hand slip into the crook of his arm.  “Ready?” he asked.

 

Yuuri responded with a tug through the door.  Minako opened it and sang out their arrival.  “We’re heeeere!”

 

Victor watched an older couple step forward, both clearly overwhelmed with emotion.  Yuuri’s mother Hiroko stepped forward, reaching towards her son then dropping her arms uncertainly before deciding to embrace him.  Several tearful words passed between the two.  Finally, Yuuri stepped back and reached for Victor.  In English he introduced, “Okaasan, mama, this is my partner Victor.  Victor, this is my mother Katsuki Hiroko.”

 

Victor stepped closer and bowed slightly, awkwardly, not certain how one was supposed to greet the parents of one’s Japanese boyfriend.  “Konnichiwa, Okaasan,” he murmured humbly.

 

She smiled warmly taking his hand.  “Vicchan, welcome to our home.  You call me mama…or Okaasan if you prefer.”  Victor smiled, a blush rising in his cheeks.  Hiroko led Victor to her husband and introduced him.  “This is Yuuri’s Vicchan.”

 

Victor again repeated the awkward bow.  Glancing towards Yuuri, he heard his boyfriend murmur, ‘Otousan’.   He nodded.  “Konnichiwa, Otousan,” he greeted humbly.

 

Yuuri bowed respectfully towards his father who laughed and pulled him into a hug.  “Otousan, papa, this is Victor.  Victor, this is my father Katsuki Toshiya.”

 

His father studied the man standing next to his son taking in his appearance.  He then smiled warmly.  “Konnichiwa, Vicchan.  Welcome to our home.  Call me papa.  Come, come.”  He motioned them into the room and they were led to a table.  “Eat.”  Soon bowls of warm food was placed before them.

 

“Katsudon?” Victor asked with a raised eyebrow.

 

“Yuuri’s favorite,” Toshiya answered.

 

Victor tasted the dish before him then met his lover’s eyes.  “ _Vkusno_!  I’m sorry, Yuuri, but this is better than yours.”

 

Yuuri laughed.  “I never denied it.  My mother makes the best katsudon.”

 

After they ate, Yuuri’s mother led them back towards the family rooms.  “I put you in old banquet room,” she stated.  “Yuuri’s room is too small.”

 

Yuuri laughed.  “I guess I have outgrown it.  Has anything arrived?”

 

“Boxes are in storage room.”

 

They entered the banquet room.  It was sparse with only futons for beds.  Victor considered the space before turning to look at his boyfriend.  “Can we get furniture?”

 

Yuuri nodded.  “We’ll go out tomorrow and pick something out.  For now, we’ll make do with the futons.”  He looked around thoughtfully.  “Unless you want to try and squeeze into my single bed,” he added with a raised eyebrow.

 

Victor smiled as he considered it.  “I’m not opposed to sleeping so close to you.”

 

Yuuri laughed.  “We already sleep quite close.  It is doable but if it gets hot, there will be no relief.”  Yuuri guided him out of the room and down the hall to his old childhood room.  Standing before the door, he turned and regarded Victor.  “Remember, I warned you that I was a huge fanboy back then.”

 

Victor looked hurt.  “You aren’t any more?”

 

Yuuri’s cheeks pinked up as he rubbed the back of his neck.  Chuckling, he shook his head and opened the door.  “I prefer the real you,” he murmured as Victor walked by him to enter the room.

 

The Russian turned to look at him in response, eyes wide.  Reaching around Yuuri, he swept him into the room and closed the door in one motion, pressing a kiss onto his lips.  Smiling against his lips, he murmured, “I’ve wanted to kiss you for hours.”

 

“Me, too,” Yuuri answered.  Victor broke away and looked around as Yuuri flipped on the light.  

 

“Mom must have cleaned the room before I came home.”

 

Victor stretched out on the bed.  “The sheets smell fresh.”

 

Yuuri laughed.  “Of course.  My parents run an inn.”

 

Victor reached towards the Japanese man.  Yuuri sat down next to him and stretched out beside him.  Resting his head on Victor’s shoulder, he wrapped his arm around him and slotted his leg between Victor’s.  He snuggled a little closer as Victor’s arm tightened around him.  “We can make this work for now,” Victor stated.

 

“Maybe for a night or two,” Yuuri conceded as he sighed into the comfort of Victor’s arms.  He was almost lulled asleep when he heard Victor’s chuckle.  He looked up and realized Victor was looking around the room.

 

“I haven’t seen some of these posters in years,” he commented.

 

“There are more under the bed,” Yuuri confessed.

 

“Oh, we are going to have to dig those out.  I need to check out your collection.”

 

Yuuri rolled his eyes.  “Now?”

 

Victor tightened his arm around Yuuri.  “No, not now,” he murmured, his lips finding Yuuri’s.  As he deepened the kiss, he felt Yuuri’s body respond of its own volition, arching into him.  A soft moan slipped from his throat as Yuuri opened up to him.  “Yuuri,” he gasped slipping into Russian as Yuuri’s lips began to explore him, brushing across his cheek, down his jawline, up his throat, behind his ear.

 

Victor’s hands played with the hem of Yuuri’s shirt before his fingers finally slipped underneath, trailing up his side lightly.  He heard a giggle and felt Yuuri’s body tighten up in response.  He smiled in amusement.  How did he not know Yuuri was ticklish?  He sought that secret place once more and he heard Yuuri giggle again, pulling back.

 

“Stop,” he protested, his expression crinkling in mirth.

 

Victor grinned, shifting over him, determined at this point to find all of the ticklish places because watching Yuuri’s face relax into laughter was the most amazing sight.  He tickled the other man until he was begging Victor to stop and tears were sliding down his face, eyes all crinkled in the corners.  As Yuuri caught his breath, his warm brown eyes stared up into blue eyes full of affection.

 

“I love you, Vitya,” Yuuri whispered, his fingers brushing Victor’s hair back and burying into the length. He tugged Victor down, rising up to meet him in a kiss.

 

Victor hummed in response, his hands sliding behind Yuuri’s shoulders and fingers weaving into Yuuri’s hair.  Pulling back, he kissed the tip of Yuuri’s nose.  “We probably shouldn’t hide out since it is still daylight,” Victor suggested with a wink.  “I mean, I do need to make a good impression on your family.”

 

As if on cue, there was a knock on the door.  Victor pushed himself off of Yuuri and held out a hand.  Yuuri answered to find Mari standing there.  “Hi, Yuuri.  Welcome home,” she stated flatly.  Mari looked past Yuuri’s shoulder to Victor and nodded in his direction.  “So, do you want to help out or something?”

 

Yuuri’s eyes widened and he nodded.  “Of course.  What do you need?”  Mari directed Yuuri towards the laundry and Victor followed.  Yuuri began sorting and folding the laundry as if he never left.  “You don’t have to help,” Yuuri protested as Victor reached into the basket.

 

Victor laughed in response.  “Nonsense.  I can help out however is needed.  I don’t mind.”

 

* * *

 

 

They separated at one point helping out with the various chores.  Mari or Hiroko directed them where they needed until the afternoon chores were complete and they found their way back together in the main living space.  Victor was talking with one of the guests when Yuuri entered, comparing chess to Shoji.  Victor waved at Yuuri as the guest suggested he might like to try Go as well.  Victor nodded and said he would.

 

Yuuri dropped down next to Victor and teasingly responded, “I won’t lose you to the gaming clubs.”

 

The man laughed, responding, “My wife sends me to the game halls.  She says I’m under foot.”

 

“I might like Shoji,” Victor protested.  “I always liked chess.”

 

Yuuri smiled indulgently.  “I can teach you the basics but that’s as deep as I went.  I’m better at Go but even that isn’t worthy of the game halls.”

 

“That’s how you get better,” the guest argued with a smile.

 

Hiroko came up behind the guest, laughing and speaking in Japanese.  Yuuri leaned forward and translated for Victor.  “She’s telling him that you’ve only been here a day and he’s already trying to recruit you as a partner.”

 

Victor laughed softly in response.

 

“Would you like to try the onsen?” Yuuri suggested.

 

Victor’s eyes widened and he nodded.  “Definitely!”

 

Yuuri excused themselves and guided Victor out of the room.

 

Mari walked by as they were about to enter the showers and muttered something in Japanese.

 

“Mari-neesan!” Yuuri protested, turning deep red.  Victor watched curiously as Yuuri turned away from the hall.  After they were in the relative privacy of the shower, he shared his sister’s words.  

“She said no sex in the onsen.”

 

Victor chuckled.  “I guess that could prove problematic.”

 

Yuuri nodded.  “Yes.  We wash off first so that we don’t make the baths dirty,” he explained and demonstrated the process.  “Can you imagine if someone…”  He trailed off and shuddered.

 

Yuuri guided them past the indoor baths and on out into the outdoor ones.  Victor placed his towel on a nearby rock and Yuuri added his to the stack.  Once Victor settled into the spring, Yuuri moved into the spring nervous at the intimacy of the environment.  Victor’s arm rested on the rocks inviting him closer.  Sitting hip to hip, Yuuri blushed as he tried to settle his nerves.

 

“ _Lyubov moya_ ,” he teased gently.  “It’s not like we haven’t been living in each other’s space for the last few months.”

 

“I-I know,” he stuttered.  He pushed his hair back and looked up at Victor.  He felt Victor’s arm tighten around his shoulder.

 

Victor scooted down and leaned his own head back.  “I could become used to this.  I may have a hard time going to Russia in August.”

 

Yuuri smirked.  “Yakov will come and escort you back himself.”

 

A small laugh escaped Victor.  “ _Da_.  He would.”

 

They both relaxed, resting shoulder to shoulder, fingers entwining between them.  Eyes closed, they could hear the buzz of conversation on the other side of the onsen.  However, Yuuri took them purposefully to the furthest bath saying that he preferred the quiet and the privacy.  Victor knew his shyness had come to play but said nothing.  Yuuri still jumped at loud noises and shrunk from unfamiliar faces.  Crowds often had him hugging close to Victor’s side and into his protective embrace.  Victor didn’t mind.  He would protect him as much as possible.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yuuri’s infamous jet lag was spent in a hotel near the airport before they took the train to Hasetsu. Victor thought they’d make a better impression with his family if they arrived rested and alert.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first night in Yuuri's room...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love to hear from you. Kudos, comments, shares, and subscribes are wonderful!

The night settled heavy and humid.  Yuuri opened the windows to create a cross breeze but the small room was stifling.  Victor’s solution was less clothes and he stripped down to his boxers.  Yuuri returned from foraging in the hall storage with a fan that he set up to blow towards the bed.  The dogs found the floor to be more amenable to their comfort.  Victor watched Yuuri fully clothed and clearly uncomfortable.

 

“Cara did suggest we become more comfortable sleeping in less.  This heat may force the issue, Yuuri,” Victor suggested.  “It’s not like we weren’t naked in the hot springs earlier.”

 

Yuuri nodded, drawing a knee up to his chest.  He kept messing with his phone and Victor was starting to get irritated.

 

Victor could see his discomfort.  Finally, he sighed and sat up.  “Would you prefer I slept elsewhere?”

 

Yuuri looked up, startled.  “N-no?”

 

Victor furrowed his brows and drew his finger to his lip as he does when he is thinking.  “Well, should we go in the other room with the futons?”

 

“On a night like tonight, it’ll be hot regardless,” Yuuri stated with a shrug.  “A storm is moving in.”

 

“What will make you more comfortable?” Victor finally voiced, exasperation creeping into his voice.

  
Yuuri hooked up his phone and turned back to Victor.  “I…am not sure?”

 

“What if we turned the light off?  Then you could strip down to where you are physically comfortable.”

 

“It’s silly,” Yuuri protested, exasperated with himself.  “You’ve taken care of me in the shower even.  I don’t know why I’m like this.”

 

“It doesn’t matter why,” Victor stated, his patience restoring itself.  “The important part is getting you past it.  Will the dark help?”

 

“Maybe?”

 

Victor reached for the lamp and pulled the chain.  It took a moment for his eyes to adjust.  The moonlight reflected off Yuuri’s glasses.  The boy hadn’t moved.  “Yuuri,  _ zvyozdochka _ , come to bed with me,” he whispered. 

 

Yuuri didn’t move for another moment.  Then Victor watched as the shadowed man laid his glasses onto the desk.  Standing, Yuuri pulled the t-shirt over his head and tossed it in the direction of the laundry basket.  A little more rustling sent his pajama pants in the same direction.  Victor heard his lover take a deep breath as if steadying his nerves, then the mattress gave and the boy was in his arms. 

 

He tried to ignore the warmth created by the other man’s skin against his.  Yuuri kept wiggling to get comfortable and Victor’s thoughts were screaming  _ this boy’s killing me! _  Finally, he settled down little spoon to his big spoon and Victor wrapped him up protectively.  The only cover they had was a thin sheet.

 

“Good night, Vitya,” he whispered and Victor squeezed him tighter, brushing a kiss against the back of his neck.  Yuuri’s hand slid over his arm and his fingers threaded into Victor’s.  He was still and quiet for a while and Victor thought he was asleep until his next words startled him.  It was the smallest whisper as if he’d been working up the courage.  “Vitya, I want us to make an appointment with that therapist.”

 

“Mmmm, the one Cara suggested to continue the EMDR.  We’ll do that tomorrow,” Victor murmured.

 

Yuuri shook his head and drew a steeling breath.  “No…the other one,” he whispered.

 

Victor rose up on an elbow seeking Yuuri’s eyes in the dark.  “The sex therapist?”

 

Yuuri nodded.  “I…don’t want to be afraid to crawl in bed with you.  I don’t want to be unable to…it’s not fair.  To either of us.  I don’t want  _ them _ to have this most of all.  I want to be with you…completely.  So…if that means I have to get help, I’ll swallow my embarrassment.”

 

Victor was speechless for a moment, his mouth opening and closing but no words found their way to the surface for a few moments.  Finally, he responded with a kiss, warm and reassuring, chaste except for a light lick of the tongue, more of a promise of things to come rather than seeking access.  “I love you, Yuuri,” Victor murmured as he broke contact.  “I know this is a hard decision for you and I would never push it on you.  But we’ll go through this together.”

 

“I’m…going to be permanently red,” Yuuri responded with a self-deprecating laugh.  “But I don’t know how else to move forward…and I do want to move forward.  It’s not about trust.  It’s about what they did…and, well, my own body issues.”

 

“But you’re beautiful!” Victor protested.

 

“Hearing you say that is great but…it doesn’t mean I believe it.  I don’t know if you realize that when I look in the mirror I see every pocket of fat on my body.  I see every stretch mark.  I see a pudgy face.  I see inadequacy all around.  I don’t see beauty.”

 

“Can I tell you what I see?” Victor murmured.  Yuuri nodded slowly.  Reaching back over to the lamp, he pulled the chain.  “Come with me.”  He guided Yuuri to the full length mirror and dropped a pillow down on the floor in front.  He sat crossing his legs and then pulled Yuuri down in his lap.  He didn’t force Yuuri’s hands away from his face until he had Yuuri completely settled.  Pulling the hands down, he whispered, “I want you to look.”

 

“It’s hard,” Yuuri whispered his protest, self-consciousness radiating off of his blushing skin.  “I’m so…exposed.”

 

“I know.  But you are safe with me,” Victor reassured.

 

Yuuri hesitated but then nodded.  “You are my safe place,” he confirmed.

 

Victor started with his eyes.  He knew this would elicit very little protest and soften Yuuri to receive the rest of his praise.  “I think I fell in love with those eyes first.  They are a warm brown, like chocolate, and they grab hold of my soul.  I lost myself in those eyes.  They reached a part of me I thought was long dead, frozen over.  They woke me up.  You can ruin me with those eyes alone, Yuuri.  You did ruin me for anyone else.”  He watched Yuuri’s lips part in surprise.  Victor kissed the side of his neck.  Yuuri tilted his head to give him access, closing his eyes until Victor whispered, “Look at me.  For I refuse to take my eyes off of you.” 

 

Victor was rewarded with those eyes opening wide.  “Good boy,” he murmured against Yuuri’s neck.  Yuuri shivered in his arms but Victor knew he was not in the least cold.

 

“Now, I’m going to talk about two of my favorite physical qualities that you possess.  Your ass and your thighs.”  Victor smiled as he realized Yuuri’s blush deepened beautifully.  Sliding his hand down Yuuri’s back, he rounded them around his muscular buttocks.  “This ass is more than just beautiful.  It shows years of hard work on skates and on the dance floor.  And these thighs.  I’ve watched you wrap these thighs around a pole and the power behind them as you move around the rink or the dance floor.  They hold so much strength in them.”

 

“And stretch marks…because I gain and lose weight so frequently,” he hissed with a frown.

 

“Shush, you!” Victor ordered but that order was softened by his smile.  “No negative talk.  That being said, I’m going to talk about those stretch marks.”  Victor’s hands moved down to his thighs.  “These marks…they show your battle with your moods.  You slip sometimes but you always pick yourself up.  They show that you win.  It isn’t always immediate but you are here and overall, I think you could say you are…” he trailed off to let Yuuri fill in the blank.

 

“Happy,” Yuuri breathed.  “I’m happy…but much of that is because of you, Victor.”

 

Victor squeezed him in his embrace, resting his chin on Yuuri’s shoulder.  “I’m happy, too, my Yuuri,” he murmured.  “And it’s because of you.  I don’t know if you realize how empty my world was before you danced into it.”

 

“It’s…sometimes hard for me to grasp that I can make you happy.  I’m…nobody.”

 

“Wrong.  You are my beautiful Yuuri…the beat of my heart, the inspiration that I thought I lost.  You are a beautiful dancer who translates that beauty onto the ice.  You fill my life with purpose.  And it isn’t only me.  I have watched your kindness when working with Yuri – and his shell isn’t easy to crack, his words can be harsh.”

 

“He’s not bad really,” Yuuri defended.  “His age and his experiences make him push everyone away.”

 

“But he let you in,” Victor murmured. 

 

“He indulged me because I was hurting,” Yuuri argued.

 

Victor hugged him tightly and grinned.  “Exactly.  He won’t do that for hardly anyone…even if they are hurting.”

 

Yuuri huffed and looked back at him.  Victor smiled tenderly, stealing a kiss.  He then redirected Yuuri’s attention back to the mirror.  “Now where was I?”  His eyes slid down Yuuri’s reflection.  “Shall I talk about these abs?”  Victor slid a hand over the mentioned body part.

 

Yuuri shook his head.  “I don’t want to talk about my gut,” he protested.

 

“This delicious bit of softness?” Victor responded, his tone becoming velvety.  “And it only gives slightly, the hard planes thinly covered by silk.  How could you not relish in this?”  Victor allowed his hands to emphasize his words.  He watched as Yuuri’s lips parted regarding his words. 

Brushing his lips over the back of his neck, he trailed kisses to his shoulder.  Yuuri shifted in his embrace as he pushed his glasses back on his nose.  Victor caught the change in his eyes, the pupils responding to his touch.  Yuuri leaned back into him, his eyes veiling, his teeth catching his lower lip.  Victor continued to explore Yuuri’s shoulders and neck and that sensitive place behind the ears, his lips sometimes giving way to his tongue.  Yuuri’s body relaxed a little further, becoming malleable to his touch.  “What do you want?” Victor whispered even as he nibbled the fleshy part of Yuuri’s ear.

 

“I…want to look at you,” came his quiet reply.  Victor opened his arms up and as Yuuri lifted himself out of Victor’s lap, Victor made a ninety degree turn, the mirror now beside him.  He reached out a hand and guided Yuuri back into his lap.  This time, Yuuri’s legs went to either side of his lover, loosely wrapping around Victor. 

 

Yuuri lifted his lips to receive the kiss he longed for.  Victor moved in slowly, brushing kisses that barely grazed the surface, wrapping his arms around his Yuuri, his hand sliding up to tease the tendrils at the nape of Yuuri’s neck. Yuuri’s lips parted in invitation and one Victor was definitely not going to refuse.  Deepening the exploration of Yuuri’s mouth, he dipped his tongue into that space, tracing his teeth, meeting the other’s tongue.  Nothing frantic or desperate entered that kiss.  It was a long, lingering declaration of their love.

 

When the kiss broke, Yuuri leaned his forehead to Victor’s while tracing Victor’s jawline with his fingers, kissing the tip of his nose, his cheekbones.  “Victor,” he whispered.  “How do we bridge this gap?”

 

“It doesn’t have to be all at once,” Victor suggests, lifting Yuuri’s face to kiss along his chin and down his face continuing to break the string of kisses with intermittent words.  “Honestly…I’m enjoying this slow seduction…of you getting to know my body… and me getting to know yours…I’ve never had this before.”  He pulled back and studied Yuuri’s eyes.  “You are precious to me.  It should never be hurried.”

 

Yuuri dropped his head to Victor’s shoulder. He felt Victor tighten his embrace.  He was very aware of the shaking in his own hands as they rested against Victor’s side.  Looking into the mirror, he could see Victor watching him.  “I…haven’t had…any release since…before we met,” he confessed haltingly, choosing his words carefully.

 

Victor’s eyes widened and finally realized what Yuuri was telling him.  He needed that release.  He felt frozen…and frustrated.  Victor brushed a kiss on top of his head.  “What if we returned to our original position?” Victor suggested gently.

 

Yuuri tilted his head uncertainly, chewing his lower lip.

 

“Do you trust me?” Victor whispered. 

 

Yuuri nodded slowly but not hesitant.

 

“I want you to have this,” he whispered, resting his cheek against the top of Yuuri’s head, meeting his eyes in the mirror.  Yuuri slowly unfurled, and shifted to untangle himself from around Victor.  Victor’s smile was warm with affection even as he shifted to face the mirror.  He settled Yuuri once more in his lap.  “So beautiful,” he whispered as he pulled Yuuri back into his embrace.

 

Victor began to kiss once more behind that ear and could feel Yuuri once more start to relax into his arms.  He began to explore Yuuri with his hands, murmuring words about beauty and the sweetness of Yuuri’s scent.  Cherry blossoms.  Subtle but in this close proximity, it began to work its way into Victor’s thoughts.  He could hear Yuuri’s breathing quicken in response to his exploration.  His hands ran over Yuuri’s torso as before, reveling in the softness that covers his abdominal muscles. 

 

His lips tasted the salt along his neck as he trailed kisses down his lover’s neck.  He kissed along Yuuri’s shoulder until he found a place that would be clearly out of sight of his clothes and began to suck.  Yuuri’s breath hitched, his head rolling to one side heavy lidded.  Victor continued to suck and check to see the lovely mark he left until he was satisfied, kissing the result.  “Yuuri?”

 

“Yes, Victor?” he breathed. 

 

“Just seeing if you were still with me.  Are you still good?”

 

Yuuri nodded in response. 

 

“I want you to touch yourself, Yuuri,” he stated firmly.  He watched Yuuri’s uncertain hesitation.  

“You can do so through your underwear for now,” he stated, giving Yuuri further permission.  He didn’t think Yuuri needed permission in the sense that he wasn’t allowed.  That was never the implication.  However, Yuuri did need something to act as a catalyst to move forward. 

 

Yuuri’s hand shook at first, tightening into a fist as he closed his eyes.  Victor continued to kiss his neck and shoulders while watching Yuuri come to terms with giving himself permission to do this thing.  Victor’s hands had stilled their exploration, resting on Yuuri’s hips to ground the brunette while he worked through the myriad of emotions that were playing across his face.  Victor carefully kept the worry out of his own expression.

 

Yuuri reached down hesitantly before grasping the hard ridge in the fabric.  He shuddered in Victor’s arms.  Victor began to stroke up and down Yuuri’s outer thighs even as he watched Yuuri’s initially hesitant movements.  Yuuri twisted back, using his limberness to reach Victor’s lips with his own, the kiss that ensued could only be described as hungry and Victor felt a moan being pulled from his own throat. 

 

As Yuuri released him from the kiss, Victor saw that his love had freed himself from the fabric and was now jerking steady firm strokes with a twist close to the head.  Even though it was about Yuuri, he could feel his own breath quickening with Yuuri’s especially with the steady movements of Yuuri against him.  He wrapped an arm around Yuuri’s waist pulling him closer while his other hand tilted Yuuri’s head to the side so that he could work the other side of his neck.  He slid that hand down the front of Yuuri’s neck with the lightest touch and down his chest starting to circle his nipple.  Yuuri moaned softly to his touch and Victor, starting to lose himself, pulled and pinched Yuuri’s sensitive nipple.   _ God, I want to suck that, _ he thought.  Except that would break the scene and Yuuri needed that control in place, he had trust in that control.

 

Victor heard the whine edging Yuuri’s moan as Yuuri arched back, looking up into Victor’s eyes through half lidded eyes.  Victor kissed the edge of that hairline, his fingers sliding down Yuuri’s arm before sliding them both around his waist and whispering, “Come for me, Yuuri.”  His arms tightened as he felt Yuuri’s body tense as if permission was all he needed to find his release.

 

Yuuri’s breath slowly began to even out.  He pinked up at the mess he presented in the mirror.  Victor chuckled, smoothing Yuuri’s hair back.  “Such a beautiful mess, you are,” he murmured warmly.

 

“Vitya…” Yuuri twisted in his embrace to look at him.  “What about you?”

 

Victor blushed this time.  “Well, I said it was about you…but…you see…”  He pulled back and then Yuuri realized the dampness in Victor’s briefs was more than precum. 

 

“Oh!” he responded in surprise.

 

“I…didn’t realize how erotic that would end up being…for both of us.”

 

Yuuri reached up, sliding his hand behind Victor’s neck and pulling him down into a kiss.  As he released him, he whispered, “You never cease to surprise me.”

 

Yuuri crawled out of Victor’s lap and helped him to stand.  Looking at himself and then his lover, he stated the obvious.  “One of us needs to get something to clean up.”

 

“I’ll go,” Victor volunteered even as he stepped forward to brush a kiss in Yuuri’s hairline.  “It’s the least I can do,” he added in a whisper, his fingers stroking down the side of Yuuri’s face and lifting his chin.  He brushed a kiss over those lips before stepping back and reaching for a yukata that followed them from the hot springs.

 

Minutes later he returned cleaned up and with a warm wash cloth in hand.  Yuuri took it and cleaned up as Victor found a fresh pair of briefs in his luggage.  He moved to his earlier position at the back of the bed and waited for Yuuri to join him.  The other man reached for the chain of the lamp and settled in next to him.  Silence filled the air between them and Victor once more thought Yuuri was asleep when he spoke.

 

“I…didn’t expect any of that.  You…take such good care of me, Vitya.  I love you for many reasons, this is one of them.  Thank you.”

 

Victor tightened his embrace.  “Each day I find new ways to love you, my Yuuri.  Some are simple and some are big…but always something new.”

 

“Honestly you coming to me and pulling me from the silence, from the darkness…that will always keep me.  But every time I start to slip back into the darkness, you grab my hand, you toss me a lifeline.  I think I would have drowned months ago without you.  I don’t know if you realize how much you are to me.”

 

Victor tightened his arms around him.  “I do realize it.  Do you realize how much you are to me?”

 

“I think…I’m seeing it a little more each day.  You have a way of silencing the negative voices.”  He was silent for a moment before he chuckled.  “Of course, tonight was probably the most interesting method.”

 

Victor kissed the hair fringing the back of Yuuri’s neck.  “It worked.”  Yuuri sighed in his embrace and he allowed his eyes to drift close, his lover stilling next to him.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG! You don't know how anxious this chapter made me to write it. However, the muse would not be silenced. They insisted. This had to go here. 
> 
> Thanks to all of the people who read it for me ahead of time (most of which are not here but thank you anyway) and thanks so much for BluSkates edits.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The next morning brings some uncertainties...but you also get Victor's skate songs for the season and a bit of domestic life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, BluSkates, for making time to go through this for me. :) I know it's a busy time of year.
> 
> Also, if I've messed up on anything related to Japanese culture, honorifics, etc., leave me a gentle message below and I'll check it out and correct it if necessary. I'm working with google resources here and they aren't always the best.
> 
> Thank you for reading!

* * *

 

Victor stretched in the early morning light.  Yuuri had already left his side and Victor was mildly curious and a little bereft regarding his absence.  He heard the shower as he entered the hallway.  Knocking, he cracked open the door and called,  “Yuuri?”

 

“Come in, Victor,” the other man invited.  Victor opened the door and went into the bathroom.  He would have to get used to sharing a bathroom with Yuuri but after they explored the previous evening they found they had Yuuri’s bedroom, the old banquet hall, an attached storage area as big as Yuuri’s bedroom, and a bathroom, all at their disposal.  It was a generous space…even if they had to share a bathroom.

 

“I thought we’d train this morning and go look at furniture this evening,” Yuuri suggested as he pulled the shower curtain aside.  Sleepy Victor’s breath caught at the sight of Yuuri wrapped in a towel.   He nodded wordlessly, Yuuri’s expression softened as he stepped towards the silver haired man. Reaching up to place a hand on the side of Victor’s face he guided him towards a kiss but Victor dodged so that it landed on his cheek.

 

“I haven’t brushed,” he explained, his voice rushed and nervous.  He heard Yuuri’s warm chuckle even as he felt it vibrate through him.  It wasn’t like Victor to feel so uncertain.  He felt Yuuri’s thumb brush over his lips and found himself kissing the pad instead.  “I’m sorry.  I don’t know why I’m like this today.”

 

Yuuri nodded, resting his head on Victor’s shoulder, with one hand on his lower back and the other on his heart.  There was a rocking motion and it took a moment before Victor realized Yuuri was humming softly while swaying to the music.  What was it?  Oh. [   _Once Upon a December_ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5tJfum8uCnM).  Victor murmured the lyrics in Russian as he slipped both arms around Yuuri’s waist, a soft dance in the morning. As they broke apart, Victor dropped his forehead to Yuuri’s and smiled.  “This is what I needed.  Thank you, Yuuri.”

 

“Maybe later in the dance studio we can dance to it properly,” Yuuri suggested.

 

Victor held tightly to Yuuri's hands.  “I’d like that…but this is what I needed.”

 

“I suppose you can’t be together all the time.  You are allowed an off day.  Do you want to skate today?”

 

“Yes.  Of course I do.  I’m just having a hard time getting my head together.”  He brushed his lips on Yuuri’s forehead.  “I just…we…”  He closed his eyes trying to get his words together.  “I woke up and you were gone.  I was afraid…I didn't know if you ran off...my heart fell.  I didn’t want you to have regrets.”

 

“I never have regrets when it comes to you,” Yuuri consoled.  “You would never push me someplace that I wasn’t ready to go.”

 

“I kept thinking…it felt like I ordered you.  I’m not like that.”

 

“You gave me…structure.  It grounded me.  I’m okay, Vitya.  I’m more than okay.  I’m loved…by you.”  This time when Yuuri lifted his lips to capture Victor’s, the other man didn’t dodge.  “Don’t hide your kisses from me,” he whispered tenderly.  “I need them.  I need you.”

 

“I need you, too,” Victor echoed.  “I never want to scare you.”

 

“I’m not scared with you, Vitya.  You are my safe place,” Yuuri murmured.  “Let’s finish getting ready so that we can face this day.  It’s easier together.”

 

Victor nodded, squeezing Yuuri’s hands as the two backed away from one another.  Victor slipped into the shower as Yuuri finished getting ready at the counter.  Before Yuuri left the room, he called to Victor to tell him he’d be downstairs.

 

* * *

 

 

Victor found Yuuri in the kitchen talking with his mother as he helped prepare breakfast.  Sweet eggs, rice, and tea.  “Good morning, Vicchan,” Hiroko greeted with a warm smile.

 

“Good morning…mama,” he responded hesitantly even though he had been invited to address her in this way.  He watched the older woman’s face light up and he felt some of his tension leave his shoulders.

 

Yuuri watched the two of them as he sipped his tea.  “Do you want some fruit with your breakfast?” he offered.  Soon they were walking into the dining room with a tray holding their food.  “Okaasan is making lunch for us to take with us.”

 

“Did you tell her we were going to look at furniture?”

 

“Yes.  She said it’s our home and we should be comfortable.  Then she confirmed that the space was for us to use as needed.  She laughed when she learned we squeezed into that tiny bed and clucked her tongue.”

 

“You told her?”

 

“I told her when I called to let her know we were moving in for the summer that we shared a room.  It shouldn’t be too shocking.”

 

“As shy and conservative as you are, it just surprised me.”

 

Yuuri tilted his head and thinned his lips thoughtfully.  “I think being with you makes me a little less shy.  And with my mother, she knows you came to me when I needed you.”

 

“I wasn’t sure how open you were with your family,” Victor responded.

 

Yuuri narrowed his eyes for a moment.  “About being gay?”

 

Victor nodded.

 

Yuuri chuckled quietly.  “I was out before I left.  Around the age sixteen.  Although considering my obsession with my idol,” he confessed with a wink, “it didn’t surprise them.  My parents were always supportive of me and it didn’t seem to bother them.  I have an uncle on my father’s side that is also gay.  He and his partner live on a nearby island.  We have to take a ferry to visit them both.  However, they often come to festivals here in Hasetsu.”

 

“Are they married?”

 

Yuuri shook his head sadly.  “Unfortunately, you can’t legally marry someone of the same sex in Japan.  Well, there is one district in Tokyo.  Some do token ceremonies, however.  My family practice Shinto and there is a small movement towards acceptance but most Shinto priests will not perform the ceremony.”

 

“And do you practice Shinto?”

 

“Yes…it is part of my culture and I grew up with it.  However, I’m pretty open to various religious practices.  My mother has several family members that practice Buddhism and I know of one cousin that married an American.  She converted to Christianity but she still follows a number of the Buddhist practices.”

 

“I don’t know that I actually practice any religion.  My grandmother raised me Russian Orthodox but once I came out as gay, well, that seemed to cross purposes with the church.  So I withdrew, only attending for religious holidays.”

 

“Well, I guess we will just have to make our own way,” Yuuri stated undeterred.  “I won’t deny how I feel about you even if the world is unfriendly.”

 

Victor nodded, drawing in a steadying breath and holding out his hand to his boyfriend.  “So shall we face this day?”

 

Yuuri grinned and accepted the hand offered.  “This place is safe.  They all would have seen the newscast where I kissed you publicly.  As you can tell, they didn’t remove the posters.”

 

Victor chuckled.  “Good point.  Let’s pack up and run to the rink, then.”

 

Yuuri nodded. Soon they were out the door, two dogs on leads, backpacks over their shoulders as they ran down the sidewalk.  Victor fell into step easily enough with Yuuri, the practice of running with this man second nature.  When they came to the top of a hill half way through the run, Yuuri pulled to a stop.  The view was beautiful.  He pointed out a number of landmarks including a ninja castle and the skating rink.  He then led Victor down the hill and along the path that would take them to the rink.  Running up the steps, Yuuri retrieved a key from his backpack and opened the door.  Victor grinned with approval.

 

They stopped in the lobby.  Takeshi Nishigori was cleaning the floor and looked up as they entered.  He laughed, dropping the mop handle and ran over to greet Yuuri.  “It’s been far too long but I knew you wouldn’t stay away long once you came home.”

 

Yuuri grinned even as Takeshi pulled him into a hug.  “Victor, this is Nishigori Takeshi.  We’ve been friends for a long time and his family owns this rink. Takeshi-san, this is Victor Nikiforov.”

 

Takeshi laughed.  “You don’t have to tell me who this is…you’ve had a celebrity crush on this man since you were like fourteen?”

 

Yuuri blushed and Victor chuckled in response.  “It’s a pleasure to meet you,” Victor responded holding his hand out.  Takeshi grasped it and they shook firmly.

 

“I have to say that my wife has been squealing since learning the two of you were seeing each other.  What a way to come out before the world!”

 

Yuuri offered a shy smile.  “They were going to continue to ask.  It seemed the most efficient way to answer their questions.”

 

Victor’s smile held a barely suppressed laugh back.  Efficiency had nothing to do with that kiss and all three men knew that.

 

Yuuri looked past Takeshi towards the skate counter.  He knew Yuuko would be there setting up for the day.  “Go ahead,” Takeshi urged.  “You probably should speak with her first anyway.  I’ll bring Victor over in a few minutes.”

 

Yuuri nodded, breaking away from the other two men and walking hesitantly towards the counter.  “I’ll be with you in a minute,” sang a voice from the back.  Before long, she came around the corner.  Her eyes widened.  “Yuuri?  Is that really you?”

 

“Hello, Yuu-chan,” he murmured.

 

She narrowed her eyes, hands on hips.  “I should be mad at you,” she stated.

 

He dropped his head.  “I should have called more.  I know.”

 

“You should have called and told me you were dating Victor Nikiforov!  What kind of friend let’s their friend find out by television!  I can’t believe you!”

 

He offered her a sheepish grin.  “It kind of all fell together unexpectedly.”

 

Looking around, she asked, “Is he here?”

 

Yuuri nodded.  “He’s…not like we imagined.  He’s…so much more than the idol ever was, Yuu-chan.”

 

She softened her expression, her smile warm in response.  “You are so in love at this moment,” she observed.  Although years had passed by since she had seen him, she knew her friend, the core of him.  Those years could not wipe that away.  “Is he treating you well?”

 

“Better than I could ever deserve,” he whispered.

 

She shook her head.  “I doubt that, Yuuri.  You deserve the best.”

 

Takeshi led the man in question towards the counter.  Yuuri turned, smiling, and held out his hand towards Victor who went immediately to his side. “Yuu-chan, this is my boyfriend Victor.  Victor, this is my best friend and rink mate, growing up, Yuuko.  She’s the one that showed you to me the first time.  You were sixteen.  Your hair, long.  Your costume looked like wings.  I was captivated…even at twelve.”

 

“I remember that costume,” Victor murmured.  Then focusing on the woman standing, open mouthed, before him, he offered her a warm smile much better than anything given to the press.  

 

“Thank you for introducing us, Yuuko.  I’m forever in your debt.”  He lifted her hand to his lips and kissed the fingers.

 

Yuuko remained speechless even as she blushed.  Takeshi stood behind Victor, rolling his eyes, and Yuuri shook his head in amusement. Yuuko finally recovered her tongue and responded with a shaken voice, “Y-you’re welcome.”

 

Yuuri drew her attention back with a touch of his hand.  She blinked in surprised.  “Would it be possible for us to train here while we are in Hasetsu?  We plan to remain until the first of August.”

 

“Oh, of course, Yuuri!  You have a key.  Let me get you a schedule of our hours and the booked times for the hockey team.  The rest of the time is open for your use.”

 

“Thank you.  We appreciate it,” Yuuri responded sincerely.

 

“It’s open now if you want to skate today,” she added as she handed him the schedule.

 

“We’d like that,” Yuuri answered with a smile.  Yuuko nodded, her eyes trailing towards Victor, her nerves still not quite settled.

 

The two left the married couple in their wake as they approached the locker rooms.  Yuuko grabbed her husband’s arm.  “Did you see that?  He kissed my hand!”

 

“I guess it’s a good thing he’s already got someone…and is gay.  Otherwise, I’d be worried,” Takeshi teased.  She turned and glared at him.  He responded with a laugh.

  


* * *

 

 

“You haven’t shared with me what you are skating to this season,” Yuuri pointed out as he laced up his skates.

 

Victor grinned.  “Well, I’ve been working out the choreography.  My music has finally come through as well.  So, perhaps you can help me put it all together.  I would love to hear your input.”

 

They pushed out on the ice to do a few laps to warm up, holding hands for most of it.  They were unaware of the eyes on them both big and small.  Victor stole a kiss before pushing away from him, settling into his starting position.

 

“It’s[ _Sparrow_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C9haTFoGcvk).  A piano arrangement.  Will you play that for me, Yuuri?”   

 

Yuuri connected Victor’s phone to the sound system and pulled up the music in question.  The music came out soft and wrapped around Victor in both delicacy and strength.  Yuuri watched in fascination as Victor portrayed his vulnerability and the underlying strength that seemed to speak of their months together.  His movements interpreted the story and showed a man who was broken for another, finding his way back by loving the other.  Yuuri didn’t have to ask.  He knew it was about them.  It was their story in a lovely metaphor.

 

He smiled softly as Victor came to the barrier.  “So beautiful,” he breathed softly as Victor reached for him across the divider, pulling him into a kiss.  “That’s your short program.  What’s your free skate?”

 

Victor grinned.  “You will know it when you hear it.”  He took the phone and selected the song.  An instrumental version of the[ song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DpjO44jJ4Mc) that accompanied the slideshow Victor showed him when they first tried to make love filtered through the speakers.

 

Yuuri’s lips parted in surprise.  Victor watched those brown eyes tear up.  “You are my theme this year, Yuuri.  I am drawing my inspiration from the beat of our hearts.”

 

“Vitya,” he murmured through his tears, dropping his forehead to his lover.  “I don’t know what to say.”

 

“Say that you love me,” Victor whispered.

 

“With all of my heart,” he returned with the softest smile.

 

“I meant it when I said I want to marry you.  I don’t know when, where, or how but I’ve never been so certain of anything in my life,” he whispered.

 

Yuuri’s hands stroked his cheeks even as he sobbed, overwhelmed with emotion.

 

* * *

 

The couple enjoyed the bento lunches Yuuri’s mother packed for them sitting on the steps that led up towards the castle.  “I could get spoiled by your mother’s treatment,” Victor commented.

 

Yuuri laughed as he took another bite of his lunch.  “She’d happily do it, too.  My mother uses her cooking to show her love.”

 

“Mmmm…I’ll have to cook for your family sometime.  Borscht…my grandfather taught me how to make it but I’ve made it my own.”

 

“I’m sure they’d love it,” Yuuri murmured.  His heart was still tender from Victor’s second promise of marriage.  It was almost a proposal, more blatant than a Japanese offer of marriage.  

 

As they packed up their lunches and stowed it in their backpacks, Victor helped his lover to his feet.

 

“So what type of furniture were you thinking?” Yuuri asked.

 

“I’d like it to be a part of both of us.  I tend towards modern style, though.”

 

Yuuri thought about it.  “A lot of traditional Japanese furnishings combine well with modern.”  As they wandered through the shops, Yuuri realized how definite Victor’s tastes were as he picked out a platform bed, modern chairs, and a few more pieces.  The surfaces were clean but with a beautiful teak finish tying them all together.  Where Victor selected the furnishings, Yuuri decided on the softer touches:  pillows, linens, and a rug in shades of blue and stormy greys with occasional pops of red.  They requested delivery of their purchases and walked home hand in hand.

 

“I felt like we were furnishing an apartment,” Yuuri stated.

 

“In a way, we are.  When we return after the Final, I thought we’d look for an apartment then. It can be for the part of the year that we remain here.  These pieces will follow us to our new place.”

 

“I-I hadn’t thought that far ahead,” Yuuri confessed a bit startled.

 

Victor tilted his head as he watched Yuuri’s countenance.  “Does that bother you?”

 

“N-no,” Yuuri squeaked.  “It’s just…very domestic.  All of the sudden, everything feels so real.”

 

Victor pulled Yuuri into his embrace.  “Am I moving too fast, Yuuri?”

 

Yuuri thought about it but then shook his head.  “No.  I like the implication.  It just caught me off guard.  I didn’t expect to react this way.  I want this.  I want you, Vitya.”

 

Victor smiled softly in return.  “I want you, too, Yuuri…and no one else.”

 

Yuuri sighed, resting in Victor’s arms a moment longer before taking the older man’s hand to continue their walk home.  “Sometimes I keep wondering if I’m going to wake up and learn this is all a dream,” Yuuri murmured as he leaned against Victor.

 

“I feel the same.  I am sometimes afraid you’ll disappear,” Victor confessed.

 

Yuuri shook his head.  “I have no desire to be anywhere except with you.”

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love to hear from you! Comments, kudos, bookmarks, and shares are welcome! Remember, sharing is caring!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What kind of mischief can three little girls get into?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much, BluSkates, for your edits!
> 
> As always, kudos, comments, bookmarks, and subscriptions are welcome and encouraged!
> 
> Remember...sharing is caring!

* * *

 

 

The morning greeted them with gray clouds and Yuuri felt anxious.  Victor offered reassurances to calm his nerves before they set out on their run.  

 

An hour later, they arrived at the rink to find a few reporters hanging around.  Yuuri pulled out his phone for the first time that morning and he showed Victor the text message from Yuuko warning them.  

 

Nodding, Victor squeezed his hand.  “This is all in a day’s work,” he reassured Yuuri.  Stepping towards the press, Victor took the lead and shielded Yuuri slightly behind him.  As they approached the reporters, Victor pasted on the smile he reserved for the public and press situations, practiced but never touching his eyes.

 

“Is it true that you moved your home rink to Japan?” one of the reporters asked without preamble.

 

Victor gave them a smirk.  “It’s no secret that I’m in a relationship with Katsuki Yuuri.  We are using this rink while in Japan visiting family.  Then Yuuri will join me in Russia under Coach Yakov Feltsman.”

 

The reporters exchanged glances.  “Coach Feltsman has agreed to take on Mr. Katsuki?”

 

“Yes.  My coach did not hesitate to take Yuuri as a student.  Yuuri has great potential as exhibited in the Four Continents and Worlds this year.”

 

“Mr. Katsuki, what led you to cut ties with your previous coach?”

 

Yuuri was thrown for a moment but then considered the question carefully before stating, “My current coach is continuing his involvement until the end of the summer.  However, the logistics of this relationship makes it more feasible to work in Russia.”

 

“How long have you both been in a relationship?”

 

Victor met Yuuri’s eyes and received a slight nod.  “We have been formally seeing each other since around mid-January after meeting and getting to know each other at the Grand Prix Final.  Now, unless you have questions about our skating, that’s the most you are getting on our private lives.”

 

“Do you have your themes for the next season?”

 

Victor chuckled.  “Yes, and they will be revealed at the appropriate times.  Anyone else?”

 

“Won’t your relationship compromise your performance on the ice with both of you competing in the same event?”

 

Victor reached towards Yuuri and pulled him in close.  “I would never insult this man by downgrading my performance.  He will have to fight to beat me to get on that podium.  However, I have every confidence that he has the ability.  Now that Yuuri has more of his jumps down, it will be an interesting season.  I’m looking forward to the challenge.”

 

“There is a rumor that you have been transitioning to coaching.  Is this your last season?”

 

“No decisions about retirement have been discussed.  I believe the better word would be mentoring.  As you are aware,  I've worked with a number of the Russian men's figure skaters, and others, as a mentor and choreographer .  Yuuri and I are working together on his choreography and I am working with him on his jumps.  In return, he is helping me to improve my step sequences because I’ve not seen anyone with better edges.  However, I am registered as an assistant coach both under Celestino Cialdini to wrap up in July as well as Yakov Feltsman.  This allows me to step in if necessary and support the other skaters under Coach Feltsman including Yuuri.  It also provides me with the credentials to do the choreography I have provided for this coming season.”

 

There was a buzz but that statement seemed to satisfy them.  Finally, the reporters started to dissipate except the occasional reporter that still tried to push about their relationship.  Victor turned towards the rink entrance, guiding Yuuri with a hand on his lower back.

 

* * *

 

 

Inside, Yuuko ran up to them.  “I’m so sorry!  I didn’t know the girls filmed you both skating.”

 

The two skaters both pulled out their phones.  Sure enough a video of them skating was trending.  It showed them working together, Victor discussing the physics of a jump.  No sound could be heard but Victor’s hand movements were expressive.  This is what alerted the press to their presence.

 

“No real harm done,” Victor stated. 

 

“Can we speak with the girls?” Yuuri asked. 

 

“Yes.  They are here,” Yuuko answered.  Fanning her hands excitedly, she defended her daughters.  “They are just really big ice skating fans.”

 

Yuuri chuckled.  “I’d expect no less out of your daughters, Yuu-chan.”

 

Yuuko smiled, a little relieved that they weren’t mad.  Soon, she shuttled the triplets before the two skaters.  “This is Axel, Loop, and Lutz,” she introduced.

 

Victor raised an amused eyebrow at their names.  “Hello, ladies,” he greeted with a wink.  They squealed.  Yuuri turned to hide his amusement and rolled his eyes towards Yuuko.  Their good humor about it all seemed to put her at ease.  Victor dropped down to the level of the triplets.  “That’s a good video you chose to pose.  However, I think we would both prefer to approve of any future posts ahead of time.  We don’t want to release our programs before the first competition and we do not want anything personal released.  Okay?”

 

The girls nodded exuberantly.  Victor flashed them a warm smile reserved for friends and family.  

They nervously started scrambling in their backpacks.  One of them, Axel, maybe, held out a paper.  “Will you give us an autograph?” 

 

Victor grinned and patted the top of her head.  “I’ll tell you what.  Yuuri and I will give you an autographed picture with the two of us.  Would you like that?”

 

All three nodded excitedly.

 

“Okay…but here’s the deal.  You will get it after we see how much control you show in posting videos.  So if we see you’ve kept our deal, Yuuri and I will bring that photo to you in two weeks.  Okay?”

 

“You’ve got a deal!” the one Victor assumed was Axel responded, holding out a business like hand.  Victor shook that hand with a very serious expression.  They ran off giggling in excitement as Victor stood back up.

 

“Wow!” Yuuko reacted.  “You are…really good with kids.”

 

Victor laughed.  “We have novices and juniors training with us all the time.  It’s not the first time I’ve had to deal with media leaks from young fans.  Besides, they don’t mean any harm.  I just dangle something that they want as a reward for good behavior.”

 

“Still, most don’t know to get down to their level like that.”

 

“Kids are much easier to work with than adults.  They are more straight forward with their expectations and don’t use you.  I’d rather spend time catering to a young fan and gain their respect early than older fans who might manipulate the situation.”

 

“Oh.  I guess you have had a few bad experiences with fans,” Yuuko responded, remembering a few different headlines of lawsuits involving fans that had crossed lines.

 

Victor nodded, a shadow crossing his countenance.  Yuuri squeezed his shoulder and Victor turned towards the younger man, his expression relaxing into a smile.  “Shall we skate?” Victor asked.  

 

Yuuri nodded, his hand sliding into Victor’s as they moved towards the locker room. 

 

* * *

 

 

That afternoon, they retreated to their new space and started unpacking.  The furniture was delivered and assembled; soon the room started to come together.  Victor had insisted they pick up a small seating arrangement when they shopped.  “We’ll appreciate it when we need quiet time that’s not in bed,” he reinforced.  Yuuri was surprised by that statement because Victor was a social creature by nature.  He couldn’t help but wonder if that was for his sake because Victor knew he needed down time.

 

As afternoon faded to evening they returned to their room after they soaked in the onsen.  Yuuri had laundered the bedding earlier to take away the new smell, but it bothered him that the sheets didn’t smell like them.  He frowned as he pulled the bedding back and Victor came forward with a bottle of cologne and sprayed it lightly across the surface.

 

“It’s how I deal with new linens and hotel rooms.  It makes the space familiar.”

 

Yuuri looked at the bottle in his hand and was surprised to see that it was his own brand.  Victor winked and answered, “I want to smell you on the sheets.”

 

“Oh,” was all Yuuri managed to get out, pinking up at the connotation. 

 

Victor found himself drawn to the chair as he pulled out his laptop.  Yuuri pulled out his own and began to work through the emails that he’d been avoiding since the move began.  He looked towards Victor in surprise and stated, “I’ve been invited to take part in a couple of ice shows.”

 

Victor smirked.  “Well, you are a bronze medalist at Worlds and you took silver at the Four Continents.” 

 

“It could help with next season’s expenses,” Yuuri commented as he forwarded the offers to Victor.

 

Victor looked them over and nodded.  “You can run last year’s programs as well.  Good options.  There is also a meeting planned for area skaters and coaches.  I’m listed as your assistant coach officially under Celestino until you switch to Yakov in August.  We should attend.”

 

“Why?” Yuuri answered, tilting his head to one side.

 

“Because there will be sponsors and you need to pick up sponsorships.  With that medal in hand, you are much more valuable and there will be offers to consider.”

 

Yuuri made a face and Victor laughed.  Finally, he relented.  “It would relieve some of the financial stress on my family, I suppose.”

 

“It will indeed.  You should become independent if we play your cards right.”

 

“Even with Yakov as my coach?”

 

“Especially with Yakov with your coach.  The fact that he’s accepted you for this coming season makes you an even more attractive choice because of his reputation.”

 

“I didn’t know.  I’m not as savvy about the business side of figure skating.  I suppose I’ve pretty much left it up to my coach.”

 

“And a good coach will take care of those offers.  However, it is always good to be aware of your options and to take part in those decisions.”

 

“I suppose you’ve always been involved.”

 

“Well, some of those ads required a lot of exposure.  I’m comfortable with it but it would be something I’d be reluctant to suggest to you due to your modesty.”

 

Yuuri’s eyes widened.  He’d seen those ads.  He may possibly have a few of them…in the more secret annals of his collection.

 

“We will market on your sex appeal, Yuuri.  However, we will do so subtly so that your comfort levels are intact.” 

 

Yuuri shrugged.  “I don’t know if banking on my sex appeal is the best course of action.”

 

Victor reached out and took his hand and drew his lover’s attention to his eyes with a kiss.  

 

“Trust me.  It is there.  You will become more comfortable in your own skin and when you learn how to project your eros, it will be very marketable.  However, I’m jealous.  I’ll want to keep you to myself, Yuuri.”

 

“I-I would never…”

 

“I know.  It’s not fair really that you would only know me.  But…I find that idea enticing.  And I have no desire to share you.”  He traced a line down Yuuri’s jaw as he studied the other skater, his thoughts moved on from the discussion of offers and ads.

 

Yuuri’s cheeks blushed under Victor’s regard.  He chewed his lower lip uncertainly.  “V-victor…”  He found himself moving his laptop to the side and Victor did the same. 

 

Capturing Yuuri’s hand once more, Victor guided the other man into his lap.  He pulled Yuuri down into a long drawn out kiss exploring the depths within him until Yuuri released a very needy moan from that throat.    “What do you need from me?” he whispered as his kisses moved down that throat to settle in the low place between his collar bones. 

 

“I need…to…Vitya, I don’t have the language.”

 

“I know you are shy with it, Yuuri.  Show me what you want.  The language will come later as we become more comfortable with one another.”

 

“Vitya,” he moaned softly as he dipped his head down, capturing Victor’s kiss, his lips trailing down the side of Victor’s neck even as he slid off of his lover’s lap.  He reached for the hem of Victor’s shirt and pulled it over his head.  His eyes flicked over the surface of Victor’s torso before meeting his eyes. 

 

Victor nodded with encouragement, his own breath and voice suspended as he watched Yuuri explore him with hands and mouth.  When that lovely mouth found his nipple, his breath hitched even as his fingers slid into Yuuri’s hair.  “Yuuuuri,” he moaned under his breath.

 

Victor reached down to Yuuri and pulled him back up into his lap and into a kiss.  His fingers grazed the hem of the t-shirt then let it go.  After doing this the third time, Yuuri pulled back from the kiss to look at him.  “What’s wrong?” Yuuri asked.

 

“I-I don’t want to do something unwelcome,” Victor murmured.  “I’m scared of hurting you.”

 

Yuuri lifted a hand and caressed the side of his lover’s face.  “I’m scared, too.  Not of you hurting me but of my own reactions.  But…we can’t stay like we are…we need to figure this out.”  He nibbled the corner of his lip nervously and then intimated, “I want to…be yours.”

 

“Oh, Yuuri,” Victor responded, pulling Yuuri back down into a kiss. 

 

Yuuri rested his forehead against Victor’s when the kiss broke.  “We go tomorrow to the therapist.  Perhaps after that?”

 

“Does it upset you if we wait?”

 

Yuuri smiled tenderly.  “That would be a bit hypocritical.  You’ve been waiting for me for months.   I want us both to be comfortable with this choice.”

 

“Thank you,” Victor whispered.  “You know I love you.”

 

Yuuri nodded as he dropped another kiss on Victor’s lips.  Pulling back, he rested his hands on Victor’s shoulders.  “That is never a question.  I love you, too, Vitya.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had to laugh when one of you asked me about the girls. I hope you enjoyed how I've recreated their mischief.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuri and Victor head into Fukuoka to try out two new counselors.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a long chapter. I usually try and break them up into smaller bites. However, several things are being put into motion. Thank you, BluSkates, for looking this over
> 
> Also, the technical aspects of the EMDR therapy were discussed in Part 1. It operates in 8 phases: History and planning, preparation, assessment, desensitization, installation, body scan, closure, opening back up with reevaluation during the next session to see how the previous session stuck. It's about reprogramming our responses to a traumatic event. http://www.emdria.org

* * *

 

 

Yuuri checked the train schedule once more.  They planned to make a day of it in Fukuoka.  Yuuri and Victor set both counseling appointments in the morning with an hour in between.  Then they would have lunch and shopping at Canal City.  Yuuri looked up as Victor came back into the room, showered and dressed to go.  He looked appraisingly over his boyfriend in black jeans and a red button up.  Victor noticed and preened.

 

“Are we ready?” Victor asked. 

 

Yuuri was also dressed in black jeans but he had a blue Henley.  Securing his wallet and phone in his pockets, he nodded in reply.

 

“How are you feeling?” Victor asked, taking Yuuri’s hands in his.

 

Yuuri glanced towards Cocoa and nodded.  “I think…I want to have Cocoa with me just in case.  I don’t know how I’ll react to crowds or what shape I’ll be in after the appointments.”

 

“That sounds like a good plan.”  Victor picked up a leather backpack and loaded it with a few accessories including a collapsible dish for Cocoa.  “I know we have plans for after but we should be flexible.” 

 

Yuuri called Cocoa to his side and put her harness on.  It was signal to her that she was working today and would be on full alert.  The new harness had Japanese symbols alerting other people that she’s a service animal.  It wasn’t as common in Japan and he expected to have some questions.  However, curiosity about Cocoa did not seem to put his anxiety on edge.  He had Victor with him today, as well.

 

As they were about to leave, Makkachin looked sad and Victor melted.  “I can’t leave my Makka today.  Do you think it will be okay?”

 

“I’m sure we can make it work,” Yuuri conceded with an indulgent smile.

 

On the train, Yuuri was guided next to the window and then was boxed in by two dogs and Victor.  He may have felt claustrophobic except he understood part of Victor’s motivation was to keep him safe.  At first he needed that feeling himself.  It settled him and gave him a sense of security.  When Yuuri started to push against it, though, he learned that Victor did this for himself as well.  Victor needed to ensure Yuuri was safe for his own peace of mind.  Once they sorted that out, Yuuri simply accepted it as the way things were, another way Victor loved him.

 

Leaning against the side of the train, Yuuri looked out the window at the activity on the platform.  Victor continued to fuss a little beside him but Yuuri tuned it out.  Victor would take care of anything he needed and then some.  It was his nature.  Cocoa rested her head on Yuuri’s knee and Yuuri found himself absently carding his fingers through her curls.  Once Victor finally settled down, Makka was half in his lap.   Yuuri glanced his direction and couldn’t help but smile.  Makka was sweet although not always as well behaved as Cocoa.

 

As the train pulled into Fukuoka, Yuuri guided Victor to the subway entrance.  Victor was at his mercy given his inability to read the signs.  “I need to add Japanese to my languages,” he commented as they climbed on board the train.

 

“As I need to add Russian.  As well as perhaps make my French more conversational.”

 

“Why French?”

 

“So I know what you and Chris are giggling about.”

 

Victor grinned.  “I will try to be more considerate.  I think we lapse into French without thinking.”

 

Yuuri raised an eyebrow.  “Lapses are understandable but you and I both know that sometimes it is done on purpose.”

 

Blush creeped up Victor’s cheeks as he dropped his head.  “Sometimes it is best you don’t know what Chris says,” he offered with a wink.  Yuuri rolled his eyes at Victor’s recovery but let it go.

 

They got off near the Asian Art Museum and Victor’s eyes widened at the prospect.  Yuuri laughed at his distractibility.  “We will be coming here at least once a week.  That will give us plenty of opportunity to check out the other sights.”  Yuuri guided Victor down the street to the tall office building that held Sasaki-sensei’s office.  Yuuri explained that the building holding the other therapist, Hashimoto-sensei, was located a block further down and across the street. 

 

Reaching the nineteenth floor, Yuuri introduced themselves to the receptionist with a bow.  The receptionist led them to a seating area and offered them each some tea as they waited.  Yuuri accepted for the both of them out of politeness and to settle his nerves.  Cocoa sat alert next to Yuuri picking up on his unrest.  Makka, on the other hand, stretched out next to Victor in a ridiculous display of cuteness.  Yuuri rolled his eyes at the lavish attention Victor bestowed upon the dog. 

 

In less than ten minutes, they were shown into an office with modern décor and traditional Japanese accents.  The psychiatrist greeted them formally then relaxed her posture.  “Dr. Bishop did not share any case information with me because you need to sign a release in order for me to receive your files.  So let us sit down and talk about what we will be doing.”

 

Yuuri sat down with Victor next to him and he felt a protective arm wrap around him and grounding him as his nervousness rose.  Studying his hand, he traced the pattern of the lead connecting him to Cocoa with his eyes.  Sasaki waited patiently for Yuuri to begin.

 

“In December, I was raped while in Sochi,” Yuuri finally stated with no preamble, no details.  It just was.  “When I came to myself I reached out to Victor who came to my side and got the help I needed.  Because of this event, we went to Dr. Bishop to work through the trauma.  We were working through the EMDR therapy protocols, my targets focused on the rape and subsequent events.”

 

Victor nodded.  “My therapy focused on the nightmares and my excessive protectiveness over Yuuri.  I…am constantly checking to make sure that he is okay, that he is safe.  We are in a relationship now and I don’t want this behavior to cause us to break apart.”

 

Sasaki made a few notes before asking, “How were you progressing before moving back to Japan?”

 

“Dr. Bishop has explained that my scores are showing progress with desensitization and installation but recently before the move we uncovered another issue involving intimacy,” Yuuri stated, blushing slightly with the latter half of the sentence.  “We are visiting with…another therapist regarding the relationship issues.”

 

Her eyes studied him thoughtfully before asking, “So what are you seeking from me?”

 

“We wish to continue the EMDR therapy.  You are trained in the therapy and recommended by Dr. Bishop.”

 

“Then let me tell you a bit about myself so that you can decide if I will work for you,” she stated professionally.  “I started my studies at the University of Tokyo and finished at Cambridge.  I have continued my training as new developments come to light which led me to EMDR as a viable therapy for my patients.  I am a dedicated doctor but I prefer to only use drug therapies if absolutely necessary.  Sometimes our mental health difficulties are chemical in nature.  Sometimes they are situational.  Based on what you’ve shared, you are a prime candidate for EMDR therapy.  Do you have any other concerns?”

 

“I have been diagnosed with general anxiety disorder with social anxiety.  It was manageable for the most part and I prefer not to use drug therapies because it makes me feel like a zombie as well as affecting my performance on the ice.  Victor and I are both figure skaters.”

 

Her eyes narrowed.  “Was?  Do you have anxiety attacks?”

 

“Panic attacks?” Yuuri confirmed.  “Yes.  Not often...though more often lately it seems... and sometimes I can feel them come on but other times I’m there and all of the sudden I’m drowning.  I have worked with Victor, my rink mate Phichit, and my coaches so they know how to talk me down.”

 

She pursed her lips critically.  “Do you have strategies for when these people are unavailable?”

 

“Yes…some.  Cara…ummm…Dr. Bishop has been working with me to develop them further and has me practice when I’m not in a panic situation so it will be second nature.”

 

Her expression softened.  With a nod, she assured Yuuri, “I can work with you to develop them further.  If you feel comfortable enough to continue working with me, I’d like you to sign a release of records so that I can catch up with what you’ve worked through with Dr. Bishop.”

 

Yuuri nodded in agreement.

 

Sasaki turned towards Victor.  “And you?  Do you have further concerns?”

 

Victor smiled and shrugged.  “My greatest concern is that we find someone that Yuuri is comfortable with.  I am much more flexible.”

 

She raised an eyebrow at this.  “Do you always have a tendency to put Yuuri’s care before your own?”

 

Victor flicked his eyes downward before nodding slowly.

 

“We will work on that healthy balance, then, if you choose to stay with me.  However, if not, I will be happy to help you to find another.”  Sasaki stood up and shook their hands.  Yuuri bowed respectfully towards her.  “If you decide to come back, please complete this form and send it to your previous therapist.  Call my receptionist when you are ready and we’ll set up the next appointment.”

 

“Thank you,” the two men echoed.

 

Victor put the form into the backpack as Yuuri gathered the dog leads.  With a quick command, both dogs fell into step with Yuuri as he left the office.  Victor stumbled after to catch up.  “It’s no fair,” Victor whined.  “Makka minds you better than me.”

 

Yuuri laughed softly.  “You baby her too much.”

  
  


* * *

 

 

They checked the time as they reached the sidewalk.  “We have an hour,” Yuuri remarked.  They continued down the sidewalk and decided to take advantage of a coffee shop on the ground floor of their next destination.  Yuuri indulged in a cup of his favorite tea and Victor an ultra-sweet coffee confection.  They split a pastry between them. 

 

Victor studied Yuuri, noting his shaking hands and lack of eye contact.  Reaching out, he placed a warm hand over Yuuri’s.  “It will be fine,  _ solnyshko _ ,” he reassured.

 

“I know…it will be.  It’s just that…it will be so personal.”

 

Victor squeezed Yuuri’s hand and waited for him to lift those brown eyes to meet his.  “I know it is personal but we are doing this for us.  And I will walk through fire and lay my soul bare for you.”

 

Yuuri found a small smile.  “Okay.  I…we can do this,” he responded, forced strength in his voice.

 

Finishing their drinks, they gathered their belongings and leads before moving towards the entrance.  An elevator ride up, they found themselves on the eleventh floor.  The office didn’t look any different.  It could have been Sasaki-sensei’s office. 

 

Yuuri laughed nervously.  “I don’t know what I was expecting.  Not…something so professional in appearance?”

 

Victor smiled indulgently.  “If it looked anything less than professional, we would have walked out.”  Yuuri looked at him with surprise.  Victor shrugged and added, “I may have looked up what to expect when Cara suggested it.”

 

They were led into an office soon and the two men bowed and shook hands as Dr. Hashimoto introduced himself.  The office also had modern décor but with dark leathers and warm brown wood.  Frames held the therapist’s diplomas and certificates on one wall as well as shelves of books.  The wall opposite that held photos of two men and a couple of children.  It was easy to spot Dr. Hashimoto as one of the men.

 

“You have children,” Victor observed.

 

Dr. Hashimoto nodded.  “Yes.  My partner and I were fortunate to find a surrogate to carry our children.  Our son Ichiru and daughter Ami.”

 

Victor grabbed hold of Yuuri’s hand excitedly and the younger man’s eyes widened.  “I think, honey, we need to take care of other matters before we start talking children,” Yuuri stated.

 

“But they are so adorable!  We could have a family like that, Yuuri.”

 

The therapist watched the two men thoughtfully.  It wasn’t the first gay couple he worked with that grabbed hold of the idea of having their own family.  “There is also the option to adopt,” he suggested.  “However, if there are matters to resolve, then I must agree with your partner.”

 

“But…now I can hope for something I never considered an option before,” Victor stated.

 

Yuuri looked at Victor with surprise.  “We’ll talk about this later.”

 

Victor took a seat on the sofa and Yuuri sat next to him, shaking his head at the look of happiness on the platinum blond.  Turning to the doctor, Yuuri felt part of his anxiety start to come back up but then he felt a hand rubbing soothing circles on his lower back.  “Dr. Hashimoto, I don’t even know where to begin.”

 

Hashimoto smiled reassuringly.  “How may I help you?”

 

Yuuri met Victor’s eyes and Victor nodded encouragingly.  Dropping his eyes down, his mouth opened and closed.  Finally, he took a deep breath.  “I…am struggling to become intimate with my partner.”

 

Choosing the word choice Yuuri went with, the doctor asked, “Have you been intimate before?”

 

Yuuri’s eyes flicked downward.  “N-no.  Not really.”

 

“Do you want to have sex?”

 

“Y-yes,” Yuuri responded, squeezing Victor’s hand.  “But…I was…I…”  He closed his eyes and drew a deep breath and another.  “I was raped in December.”

 

The therapist sighed, his eyes saddened by Yuuri’s confession.  “You are not alone in this.  Statistically one in fourteen men are rape survivors.  Are you involved in any other therapies to deal with this trauma?”

 

Yuuri nodded.  “Sasaki-sensei is taking over the EMDR therapy we began in Detroit.”

 

“She’s a good psychiatrist.  How is your progression in this therapy?”

 

“I believed I was doing well…then we tried to…well…have sex.  I was fine until…until…”  Yuuri chewed his lower lip, squirming a little in his seat.  Victor began to rub his back in comforting circles.  “It’s not that I don’t want Victor to touch me!” he pushed out.  “I do.  I just can’t deal with the flashbacks.  I don’t want it to take me back there.”

 

Hashimoto nodded.  “Understandable.  We can work on it but it will not be a quick fix.”  Yuuri nodded.  The doctor then turned to Yuuri’s boyfriend.  “Victor, where does this put you?”

 

“I never want to cause Yuuri pain, nor discomfort.  When he reacted, I backed off and wrapped him in a blanket so that he felt safe and then let him choose the next course.  He asked for space.  I slept in the next room for the night.  Since then, however, we’ve talked.  We hold each other, kiss, and any touching above the waist isn’t a problem.  But…I hesitate to move further down.”

 

“It sounds to me like intimacy isn’t the real issue.  You communicate well and touch each other regularly.  It sounds like the problem is moving into a more sexual realm.”

 

“Yes,” squeaked Yuuri, turning to hide in Victor’s shoulder. 

 

Hashimoto tilted his head thoughtfully as he watched Yuuri hide.  As Yuuri turned to face him once more, he asked, “Yuuri, can you talk comfortably about sex with your partner?”

 

Yuuri squeezed his shoulders together.  “Sometimes?”

 

“That’s a start.  It takes practice.  The more we become comfortable with someone, the easier the talk becomes.  What we do in this place is talk therapy.  When I send you home, I will send you with instructions to help you both progress.  Not every instruction is sexual in nature.  It’s about strengthening relationships and making you more comfortable in expressing yourselves physically, in expressing yourselves sexually.  Let me see.  Do you both dance?”

 

Yuuri laughed at this and Hashimoto noticed Yuuri relax a little.  “I just finished my BFA in dance.  Victor and I are both figure skaters.”

 

“So you know how to use your bodies to express ideas.  Do you have access to a private studio?”

 

Yuuri nodded. 

 

“I am going to give you the homework to dance together.  It can start out very casual.  Maybe a loose waltz.  However, I would like you to dance as often as you can.  This will help you become more used to the way your bodies communicate with one another.  As performers, you are well aware that nonverbal communication is as important, if not more so, as verbal communication.  And do not make it something that you plan to perform.  This is about the two of you.”

 

Yuuri looked at Victor in surprise then back up at Hashimoto.  “That’s it?  Dance together?”

 

“Yes.  This is a safe starting place and gives you a comfortable place to express your intimacy.”

  
  


* * *

 

They left Hashimoto’s office with Yuuri in quiet contemplation and Victor casting worried side-glances his direction.  Victor followed Yuuri down the street bordering the canal.  It was a pretty walk and the dogs seemed cheerful.  Yuuri finally stopped at a rail and stared over the water.  Victor drew up next to him, letting Yuuri work out what was going on in his head.

 

“It’s…not going to be easy,” Yuuri finally murmured.

 

“I know,” Victor answered softly.  “But I’m here with you.”

 

“I said the other night…I don’t have the language.  Is this a waste of time?”

 

“No.  But we need to talk more to make you more comfortable, more relaxed.”

 

“It’s so…awkward.”  Yuuri shifted uncomfortably and stared across the canal.

 

“Do you want to go home?” Victor offered.  “We can discuss it privately in our room.  There is no need to shop today.”

 

Yuuri turned sharply towards him, and protested, “You were looking forward to it, though.”

 

Victor slipped an arm around his waist.  “You are more important than our plans.  Besides, I was looking forward to spending the afternoon with you.  That hasn’t changed.  What do you need?”

 

“I…do need quiet,” Yuuri conceded, leaning into Victor’s embrace.  “The train ride is going to be hard enough.  I don’t think I’m up to the crowds at Canal City.”

 

“Okay.  Let’s walk back to the train station.”

 

“I’m sorry,” Yuuri whispered, eyes on the ground in front of him.

 

“Don’t be.  Let’s go home,  _ lyubov moya _ ,” he murmured, holding his free hand out to Yuuri.  “I think we overplanned the day anyway.”

 

“I don’t…think I can do two therapies in one day, Victor,” Yuuri admitted.

 

“It is a bit…daunting.”

 

“Cara wouldn’t let us do two in a day.”

 

“You are right,” Victor agreed with a nod.  “I don’t think we thought about this when we scheduled this trip.”

  
  


The train was a little less crowded for the return trip.  Victor sheltered Yuuri with his presence and he noticed Yuuri turned into his side this time rather than staring out the window.  His arm stretched around Yuuri protectively.  Cocoa and Makka both drew up close. 

 

* * *

 

 

Finally, they arrived in Hasetsu.  Yuuri was retreating mentally so Victor guided him home.  They arrived and gave a weak wave to Yuuri’s parents as they headed up the stairs.  Yuuri climbed in the middle of the bed and drew his knees to his chest, rocking back and forth in a self-comforting motion.  Victor disappeared into the storage closet and returned with the fuzzy blanket Phichit always packed for Yuuri.  Wrapping it around Yuuri’s shoulders, he drew him in. 

Kissing Yuuri’s forehead, he began to card his fingers through Yuuri’s hair.  “Only one session a day,” Victor confirmed quietly, returning to their earlier conversation.

 

“Vitya?”

 

Victor tilted his head to see Yuuri's eyes.  “Hmmm?”

 

Yuuri blinked up at him and Victor could see the sadness within.  “I hate this, you know…fighting against my own mind, my nervousness, my anxiety, my shyness, my lack of confidence.  I hate feeling mentally weak.”

 

“You are not weak,  _ lyubov moya, _ " he affirmed tenderly.   "Not in the least.  You are so very strong, Yuuri.”

 

“At the moment, I don’t feel strong," Yuuri murmured.  "I feel broken and overrun.”  A tear slipped free.  Victor's caught it with his finger, brushing a kiss over the track it left behind.

 

Turning Yuuri further into his embrace, Victor sought words to reassure the younger man in his arms.  “Every time we break, we come back stronger, Yuuri.  Look at how muscle builds up.  Tiny breaks and tears that come back and rebuild into a stronger unit.”

 

“And how often have you broken?”

 

Victor was quiet for a moment before he answered.  “I don’t think I can count them.  I just hide them better.  Sometimes, though, I can’t hide them.  When I lost my parents, when I struggled to win my first event, when I couldn’t find you after the Final, when I did find you, when I kept reaching out to you and couldn’t be sure you were hearing me…I could say more but those are at the front of my thoughts.”

 

“I was…the cause of so many of those,” Yuuri whispered.  “I’m so sorry, Vitya.”

 

“No,  _ malysh _ , you are not the cause.  You are the center of them but not the cause.  And that’s because you are the center of my world, Yuuri.”

 

“I suppose…I could say the same.  So many of my worries deal with you and us.  I feel…inadequate.  I want to be more.”

 

“You are more, Yuuri.  No one has touched me the way you have touched me.  And you are worth the wait.”  Victor dropped his forehead to Yuuri’s and whispered, “So worth the wait.”  He brushed his lips over Yuuri’s.  He tasted Yuuri’s sigh as the younger man snuggled into him.  He could feel Yuuri’s body start to relax in his embrace, the tension starting to fall away.

 

“How do you do that?” Yuuri murmured against his neck.

 

Victor arched an eyebrow and asked, “Do what?”

 

“Take away all of my tension.”

 

Victor laughed softly.  “Chris calls it my magic.”

 

“You have magic that puts people at ease around you,” Yuuri deadpanned.  Then his eyes crinkled as he snuggled back up into his embrace.  “I think…I believe that.”

 

* * *

 

 

 

When they rejoined the family that evening, Yuuri noticed something off about his parents.  They seemed to be walking on eggshells around him, fussing and staying close.  He looked from Victor to Mari, both shrugging but noticing the behavior.  When Yuuri went to grab his jacket to head out for an evening jog, his mother asked, “Are you not taking Vicchan with you?”

 

Yuuri looked at her in confusion.  “Victor is going through some emails from our coaches.”

 

“Well, it’s going to get dark soon,” she pressed.

 

“That’s okay.  I’m going on the beach path.  Plus, this jacket has reflective material.”

 

“I just think…it’d be better if someone went with you.”

 

Yuuri tilted his head to the side.  “I’ll have Cocoa running with me.”

 

She sighed in exasperation while she wrung her hands and looked at her husband in quiet plea.

 

“It’s never been a problem for me to run alone before,” Yuuri reiterated, his own frustration building.  He didn’t want to upset his parents but he needed his autonomy.  Victor respected that part of him and even encouraged it.

 

His father stepped in and stated, “Perhaps you could run during the daytime unless you have a partner.  That will help your mother feel more at ease.”

 

Yuuri’s mouth fell open.  He finally shook his head and sighed.  “Fine.  I’ll go talk to Victor.”

  
  


Yuuri entered the room he shared with his boyfriend and a pair of blue eyes looked up at him in surprise.  “I thought you were going running.”

 

“Apparently I’m not allowed because it will upset my mother,” Yuuri muttered, flopping down next to Victor on the couch.  “She doesn’t want me running at night without a partner.”

 

Victor pursed his lips thoughtfully.  “I guess I hadn’t thought about how your parents would react.  Would you like me to go with you?  Perhaps we could stop by the dance studio and do some of our ‘homework’.”   He punctuated this with a wink.

 

Yuuri tilted his head to one side then nodded, a smile playing at his lips.  “Will it be okay for you to neglect those emails?”

 

“I’ll deal with them later tonight or in the morning.  There are only a couple that need quick attention.  Besides, a few deal with you so it might be best if you are here with me when I answer them.”

 

“Okay, then.  Let’s dance.”  Yuuri pushed up off the couch and then reached down to take Victor’s hand.  He bent over the hand and kissed it formally. Victor’s breath caught for a moment and when Yuuri stood up, he could see blush creeping into Victor’s cheeks.  Yuuri smirked as he pulled Victor to his feet.

  
  


The jog to the studio included a stop at Minako’s bar to let her know they planned to use it.  She waved them off and told them to have fun and “keep it clean.”  Yuuri’s cheeks pinked, waving his hands in reaction.  Victor didn’t help matters when he winked in reply.

 

In the studio, they changed to dance shoes, the soft soles whispering across the floor as they approached the speakers.  Yuuri dialed through his playlists even as Victor wrapped his arms around him from behind, already swaying to some unknown music in his head.  Yuuri tilted his head as Victor nuzzled in. “Do you want something more formal or free form?”

 

“I want something that puts us in each other’s space,” Victor whispered, brushing a kiss behind Yuuri’s ear.

 

“I didn’t think Minako’s warning was necessary,” Yuuri teased with a chuckle.

 

“I just need to hold my Yuuri,” Victor huffed.  He grinned when the sexy brass of [ jazz](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ivJrE_Wory0) filled the room with a sultry mood.  “Yuuuuuri…this is in your playlists?”

 

“It’s a good slow down mix for stretches,” Yuuri answered with a wink, guiding Victor into the middle of the dance floor.  The lighting was limited to the rope light running along the floor.  Long shadows fed into the heat of the room.  Yuuri slipped an arm around Victor’s neck even as the other slipped around his back. 

 

Victor chuckled next to Yuuri’s ear.  “You do realize that our therapist probably thinks we have to work up to this.”

 

“I wasn’t going to turn down such an enjoyable homework assignment,” Yuuri returned, brushing a kiss down the side of Victor’s neck. 

 

A soft gasp slipped from Victor’s lips before he found his reply.  “Well, we’ve been dancing together for months.”  Victor began to nibble on Yuuri’s earlobe and was rewarded with soft moans by his partner.

 

“God, why haven’t we been doing this?” Yuuri murmured, his lips feathering kisses along Victor’s chin.

 

Victor turned to capture those kisses with his lips, his arms tightening around Yuuri’s waist.  Releasing his lips, he settled his forehead to Yuuri’s.  “I’ve been asking myself that since we arrived.”  Victor’s hand slid down Yuuri’s back and over his beautiful derriere giving it a squeeze.  “Did I tell you how much I love this ass of yours?”

 

Yuuri chuckled warmly.  “Several times, actually, but I can hear it some more.”  He returned his attention to the pulse point at the base of Victor’s neck and listened to the older man’s breath quicken as Yuuri began to suck a kiss mark into that juncture. 

 

Victor reclaimed Yuuri’s lips as his hand slid down Yuuri’s thigh, lifting it to his hip.  He nipped kisses onto Yuuri’s lips.  The younger man tightened the leg around Victor, eyes becoming veiled by his lashes.  “Vitya,” he moaned softly into that kiss.   Victor responded with a rotation of his hip grinding into Yuuri.  They continued to rock back as their kisses and hands roamed. 

 

A sharp bark at the door caught their attention and Yuuri’s leg dropped to the floor as Victor cradled him to his chest.  “That would be Minako letting herself into her apartment next door.”

 

Victor glanced at the clock.  “We should probably get home,” he murmured.

 

Yuuri pouted, rising up on the balls of his feet to kiss Victor.  “Promise me we’ll do this some more.”

 

“Every time we get the chance,” Victor returned.  They broke apart and changed their shoes.  Victor grabbed the leads as they let themselves out.  A quick jog home and a shower found them snuggled into bed.  Victor whispered soft words of love into Yuuri’s ear as he soothed the younger man to sleep.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the end, I felt much like Yuuri after two sessions. I'm realized I packed their day too full and they needed an out. This is something I do in real life, too. I over plan any traveling I do and I have to give myself permission to change those plans because introverts have only so much public energy. I wanted to show Victor cognizant of that drop. It affects mood and too much stimulation can send us into dark places. 
> 
> Let me know what you think...I love to hear from you.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Morning wood...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: The first scene gets a bit explicit if that makes you feel uncomfortable, skip to the scene break.
> 
> Thank you, BluSkates, for the read. :)

* * *

 

 

 

Victor felt himself tugged from sleep by the restless activity of his partner.  His eyes fluttered open as he felt the kisses butterflying down his cheek.  “Yuuri,” he moaned as those lips found his.  Victor wrapped his arms around Yuuri and tried to roll him onto his back only to feel a firm hand press him back into the bed.  His eyes snapped open wide.

 

“This is my turn, Vitya,” he murmured.

 

Those lips, those delightful lips teased and danced their way down his neck and chest.  Victor hissed as he felt them close around his nipple.  Victor slid his hand into Yuuri’s hair and around his neck.  “Yuuri,” he moaned softly.

 

Yuuri wasn’t finished.  His lips trailed down Victor’s abs, tongue and lips exploring the dips and rises.  Fingers teased the edge of Victor’s briefs.  Victor watched the brunette exploring his body breath on edge.

 

Then those brown eyes snapped up to catch his.  Sitting further down between Victor’s legs, Yuuri held Victor’s eyes as he slid his finger around the elastic of the briefs.  Victor nodded in permission.  Yuuri smirked.  Victor’s eyes widened. Everything this morning had been a surprise but that smirk startled him the most.  His Yuuri focused on easing those briefs down.  Victor lifted his hips to allow Yuuri to free him of the fabric.

 

“Are you sure?” Victor whispered as he leaned up on his elbows to watch Yuuri descend down his body.

 

Yuuri paused to meet his eyes.  Nodding, his lips parted, eyes widening.  “Are you?”

 

Victor reached for him and drew him into a kiss.  “With you...I want this...I just,” he murmured against Yuuri’s cheek.  

 

“I want to do this...if you’re with me, Vitya,” Yuuri answered, his warm breath brushing against Victor’s ear.

 

He released Yuuri who returned to his position between Victor’s legs.  Victor watched the younger man back down the bed as he continued to remove those briefs, dropping them in the floor at the foot of the bed.

 

Glancing up to make sure Victor was watching, and Victor was definitely watching his every move, Yuuri dropped down to kiss the top of his foot.  Victor hissed.  Yuuri then brushed a kiss over the turn of the ankle and Victor watched a hand slide up behind his calf.  Victor felt the heat rising in him as those lips began to trace that path up the inside of Victor’s leg and thighs.  He didn’t know what had gotten into Yuuri but he certainly couldn’t deny him.

 

Yuuri sat back on his knees and met Victor’s eyes as he chewed his lip uncertainly.  “Talk to me, Vitya,” Yuuri murmured.  “I don’t know…if I’m doing things right.  I’ve never done this.”

 

Victor nodded, smiling indulgently.  “Trust me, Yuuri…you are doing everything right.”

 

“I’m just going on instinct,” Yuuri admitted as he licked his lips.

 

Victor ran his fingers through his hair.  “They are guiding you well.  Please.  Don’t stop.”

 

A smile played at Yuuri’s lips.  Then the brunette nodded sharply before dropping back down between his legs.  Victor gasped when he felt those beautiful pink lips trailing kisses up the bend of his thigh.  Yuuri lifted his eyes and met Victor’s.  Victor licked his lips breathlessly.  He nearly bit his tongue when Yuuri slid his tongue up Victor’s shaft.  “Oh, shit,” Victor slipped, running his hand through his hair.  Catching Yuuri’s startled glance, he grinned sheepishly.  “You’re doing it right, baby.  I just…didn’t expect it.”

 

With that encouragement, Yuuri ducked down and slid his tongue over the head before kissing the tip.  A prolonged moan wretched from somewhere deep in Victor.  Yuuri slide his tongue along the slit before moving his tongue and kisses back down the shaft.  

 

Victor’s head fell back, his hand on his forehead as he focused on holding his control.  He felt Yuuri’s hand squeeze his hip and he tipped his head back up to catch those brown eyes.  Yuuri lifted his head and focused on him.  “Watch me,” Yuuri demanded.  Victor’s mouth parted.  He nodded wordlessly.

 

Yuuri bobbed down, first taking the head into his mouth and pulling back, sliding his tongue around the tip before dipping his head lower, taking him deeper.  Victor hissed in response.  A soft pleased moan slipped out around Yuuri’s lips, the vibrations pulling an answering moan from Victor.

 

Yuuri shifted his body, moving a hand to cup his sac even as the other slipped to the base of the shaft.  Yuuri echoed his mouth’s movement with those of his hand.  Victor felt his hands tightening in the sheets, tension building within.  “Yuuri,” he breathed.  Yuuri lifted his eyes questioning.  “I don’t think I’ll hold out much longer.”

 

Yuuri blinked only a moment before returning to his ministrations, losing himself in the task of pleasing Victor.  And Victor couldn’t decide which part of this view was the most enticing.  The sight of Yuuri sucking him off or the sight of that ass of his curving up behind him as he moved to gain greater purchase on the task at hand.  “Yuuri,” Victor hissed as he felt everything start to uncoil within him.  His breath quickened as things became hazy around him.  He reached to pull Yuuri up only to have his hands pushed away.  Victor tightened his hands on the sheets as he groaned in his release.

 

Yuuri’s eyes squinted closed and Victor watched with amusement the expressions on his lover’s face as he sat back on his heels.  “I tried to pull you back,” he teased.

 

“Would you have pulled back?” Yuuri asked, flicking his tongue out a little.

 

Victor chuckled.  “No.  I would have swallowed it down, too.”

 

“Why do we do this?”

 

Victor reached down and pulled Yuuri up into his embrace.  “Because the pleasure of our lover overrules all of our thought processes.  It gets better.  Everything feels strange at first.”

 

“And tastes strange,” Yuuri deadpanned.

 

Victor laughed softly before brushing a kiss over Yuuri’s lips.  “Thank you for waking me up so beautifully,” he whispered.  “Now how about you?”

 

Yuuri met his eyes.  As he reached for Victor’s hand, he started to crawl backwards on the bed.  Victor followed.  “Join me for a shower,” he invited.  Victor’s eyebrows rose in answer as he stumbled out of bed after Yuuri.

 

Yuuri peeked out the door to make sure no one was present before streaking across the hall, a naked Victor following close behind.  Victor certainly didn’t know what had gotten into his Yuuri but he was going to go with the flow in this matter.

 

Victor set the taps to the shower while he heard Yuuri gathering linens.  He stepped into the flowing water and waited for his lover to join him.  He knew Yuuri was outside the curtain.  He could hear the man breathing, gathering courage.  Finally, Yuuri pushed aside the curtain and stepped inside.  Victor pulled him into his wet embrace, catching his lips in a kiss.

 

Yuuri’s hand slid up his chest and around the side of Victor’s neck deepening the kiss.  The other rested on Victor’s hip as both of Victor’s explored Yuuri’s back, caressing and massaging.  

 

“What do you want?” Victor asked as they broke apart.       

 

“Do you remember the other night with the mirror?”

 

Victor nodded, his expression curious.

 

“I want you…to hold me while I…”  Yuuri’s words trailed off but his eyes flicked downward and Victor saw Yuuri’s hands grab hold of himself.  “I need to be comfortable with myself again first,” he whispered.

 

“I’m here for you, Yuuri, however you need me.”

 

Yuuri continued to face him, seeking his lips, one hand still on his neck.  Reaching down with his other hand, Yuuri began to pleasure himself in the shelter of Victor’s love.  Victor continued to ground him, using his hands to lovingly map his body.  Everything above the waist was allowed.  He held to that rule with only a few slips down to those hips and around his ass.

 

Yuuri continued to kiss Victor, eyes closed, repeatedly grabbing kisses.  They were hungry but stayed on the surface.  Then he dropped his head to Victor’s shoulder, his forehead snuggling into the turn of Victor’s neck as his breath quickened.  Then with a long controlled moan, he found his release between them.

 

Victor held onto him as he found his equilibrium once more.  As Yuuri found his balance, Victor’s hand was now caring for him, washing him, applying soap, scrubbing away the signs of their early morning activities.  Victor then started washing Yuuri’s hair and Yuuri ducked over to brush a kiss in the turn of Victor’s neck.

 

“Washing and combing hair is very intimate in Japanese culture,” he murmured.

 

Victor hugged his lover close to him.  “I think we crossed the line of intimacy a long time ago.”

 

Yuuri stepped back and rinsed his hair before turning Victor in the shower to repeat the favor.  “I love you, Vitya.”

 

“I love you, too, my Yuuri.”  Victor’s expression was soft as he studied his lover.  “I didn’t expect…”

 

Yuuri placed a finger over Victor’s lips.  “I know.  I wanted to last night…but I think exhaustion and the day caught up to me.  That feeling had not faded when I woke up this morning.”

 

“I didn’t think you’d be ready…” Victor stammered.

 

Yuuri nodded, rising up on the balls of his feet to brush a kiss over Victor’s lips.  “I just ask that you meet me halfway when I am…and you did.  I don’t know…when I can continue, if it will be easier or harder next time.  Just meet me where I am.”

 

“Always,” Victor promised.

 

* * *

 

 

After they dressed, they slipped quietly down the stairs.  Darkness was still heavy on the morning but they were both wide awake.  Yuuri led Victor into the kitchen and he quietly began to gather things together to cook.

 

Victor sat at the bar watching Yuuri prepare breakfast while scanning through emails on his phone.  “Yuuri, I think you should do this ice show in Fukuoka.  It is close and there is no competition pressure.”

 

“Which should I do?” Yuuri asked as he dried his hands on a towel.

 

“ _Lost Boy_ would be great or _Unravel_ ,” Victor suggested.

 

“I think… _Lost Boy_ ,” Yuuri decided.  “Are you doing any ice shows?”

 

“If I stayed in Russia, I would.  I do have a few sponsorship obligations.  I have an ad shoot coming up and will have to be gone for a few days.”

 

Yuuri frowned a little and then shrugged to try to wave off the emotions.  Victor watched how they played across his lover’s face.  “You are going to leave?”

 

Victor took his hand and squeezed it.  “I’d love for you to come with me.  Have you ever been on an ad shoot?”

 

Yuuri shook his head.

 

“You will.  After the meeting with the other skaters and coaches from the area, we’ll have a few sponsor offers.  Also, Yakov sent an email and said that he had some offers for you to look over.”

 

“Me?” he squeaked.  “I’ve never reviewed offers too in depth.”

 

“If you want I can go over them with you.  I have studied contract law enough to understand the language.”

 

“You have?”  Yuuri’s eyes opened wide.

 

“Yes.  When I took my university courses.”

 

“I don’t think I knew you took classes.”

 

“I have a degree in Sports Management.”

 

“What?!  How did I not know this?”

 

Victor shrugged.  “I worked through tutors and online courses for the most part, grabbing classes that required class time in the summers.”

 

“I thought…you planned to coach.”

 

“I do but this opens up some options including management and publicist.  It also helps me to do a better job as coach.”

 

Yuuri handed Victor his breakfast and sat across from him.  “You know, with my dance background, the two of us would make a good team once we both retire.”

 

“My thoughts exactly!”  Victor’s eyes lit up with excitement.  “You have the dancing and skating.  I have the management and skating.  I think we’ll be able to run a solid coaching partnership.”

 

“I haven’t really thought about life after skating before,” Yuuri considered as he chewed on his breakfast.  “Honestly, I thought I’d end up back here and help out at the inn and Minako’s studio.”

 

“We may end up back here but I think that would be a waste of your talents.”

 

Yuuri shrugged.  “I don’t know so much about talent.  I love it.  I work hard.  But…that’s just it.  It doesn’t come naturally to me.”

 

Victor leaned forward.  “I’ll let you in on a secret.  It doesn’t come easily to me either.  I just have nothing else.  Had nothing else.  So I gave it everything that I have.  Just like you.”

 

“You have greater results,” Yuuri pointed out.

 

“I’m not fighting an anxiety disorder,” Victor argued.  “Yet you don’t let it stop you.  I admire and respect you for that.’

 

Yuuri blushed, staring into his bowl of rice.  Victor reached over and teased his hand with his fingertips.  Yuuri looked up and met his eyes.  “Sometimes…I think about stopping.”

 

“We all come to those places.  But you haven’t yet.  You are still fighting.”

 

“So that’s…normal?”

 

Victor smiled indulgently.  “Yes.  Very normal.  Especially the older we get.  I even considered retiring this year.  But…then I met you and I realized I wanted to skate with you.  I wanted to push you to your potential and skate with you.”

 

“Me?”  Yuuri’s eyes widened with surprise.

 

Victor nodded.  “You have so much talent and skill…I want to see that in full bloom.  I can’t wait to see it.  That’s one of the reasons I want to work with you, helping you to build your programs and your skills.”

 

Mari wandered into the room, her eyes still heavy from sleep.  “You two are still here?”

 

Victor smiled, catching Yuuri’s eyes.  “We were just about to leave.”  Victor gathered the dishes they dirtied during breakfast and started to wash them.  They planned to come home for lunch and then hit the dance studio again in the evening.

 

“Okay.  Just so you  know…your room is directly above mom’s and dad’s room,” she stated flatly.  “And the walls are thin.  Paper thin.”

 

Yuuri stilled, his face turning red.  Victor chuckled over the running water before saying, “We’ll try to be more considerate, Mari.  This is why we talked about an apartment when we return next winter.”

 

“You are returning?” she asked with a slight surprised inflection.

 

“That’s the plan.  We’ve talked about half a year here and half a year in Russia until I retire,” Victor explained as he placed the last dish in the drying rack.  Yuuri towel dried them and moved them to the shelves.

 

“Mom and dad will be happy to hear that.  They really missed Yuuri while he was in Detroit.”

 

Yuuri dropped his head and chewed his lip self-consciously.  “I hate that it never seemed I had time to come home.  I missed you guys as well.”

 

He looked up when he felt her hand ruffle his hair.  “Don’t get so serious.  I’ll see you this afternoon.”  She disappeared to attend to her morning routine.

 

Victor was leaning over the counter propped on his elbows.  “I guess we were little loud earlier,” he murmured, a very satisfied smile without a hint of guilt on his face.

 

Yuuri rolled his eyes despite his blush.  “ _You_ were loud,” he stated with emphasis.

 

“It’s all because of you, _solnyshko_ ,” Victor teased.  They left the kitchen and slipped out the front door before the rest of the house and guests made their way out into the main spaces.

 

* * *

 

Yuuri left the rink with frustration teaming in his muscles.  He had taken a number of falls until Victor made him leave the ice and go run it off.  “I’ll meet you at home,” he stated and sent Yuuri on while he worked on his own programs.  Yuuri jogged down to the beach and found a quiet place with grass and sand where he sat and watched the waves roll in.  Yuuri allowed the sound of the waves to wash away his anxiety.

 

When his phone buzzed, he glanced down to see that Victor was heading out.  Yuuri took a picture of the beach and sent it back to him in answer.  He received an open mouthed emoticon.  Yuuri smirked and waited.  He knew he sent enough information for Victor to find him.  They jogged by here every morning.

 

Victor dropped down in the sand next to him twenty minutes later.  “How are you feeling?”

 

“A little less frustrated.  I hate it when I keep making the same mistakes over and over again.”

 

“Sometimes it’s best to take a break and come back later.  If you like, we can skate tonight.  There is no one scheduled after seven.”

 

“I thought we were dancing,” Yuuri pointed out with a raised eyebrow.

 

Victor smiled as he slipped an arm around Yuuri and leaned forward to brush a kiss on his cheek.  “We are…it just happens to involve ice.”

 

As Victor pulled back, Yuuri eyed him suspiciously.  “What are you up to?”

 

“I just want to play around with something.  Are you willing?”  His grin failed to ease Yuuri’s suspicion.

 

“Do I get to know what it is?”

 

Victor nodded.  “Yes.  It involves the ballet we performed in April.”

 

Yuuri narrowed his eyes.  “You want to interpret one of the dances onto ice?”

 

“Yes.  Are you with me?”  Victor held his eyes.

 

Yuuri finally looked away, staring towards the ocean as he nibbled his lower lip.  Finally, he answered, “Ummm…sure.  Why?”

 

Victor shrugged.  “It’s a possible exhibition skate.”

 

“Most of those dances were dark,” Yuuri responded wistfully.

 

“Not all of them, though.   _Duetto_ was not.”

 

Yuuri’s lips parted then closed.  “Can we do that?”

 

“It’s an exhibition skate.  The same rules don’t apply.  I’ve seen Chris practically strip on the ice.”

 

Yuuri nodded.  “I’ve seen that as well.  Okay.  I’d like to do that.  Do you know how to do the lifts?”

 

“I know how to do it in ballet.  We’ll keep the lift elements simple.”

 

Yuuri relaxed back once more, leaning on his hands.  “It would be nice to do something fun.  I love my new programs…but they are difficult.”

 

“You will get them down.  Trust me.  Besides, we are doing three days of practice before our next off day.”

 

“Which appointment were you able to get?”

 

“Hashimoto.  Sasaki is set for Monday because she is still reviewing our files.”

 

Yuuri drew a deep breath then nodded.  “Okay.  I suppose you could say that we’ve had progress,” Yuuri stated, a nervous squeak working its way into his voice.

 

Victor pulled Yuuri into his embrace.  “With your shyness, yes.  That was progress.”  Yuuri lifted his chin as Victor stroked down the side of his jaw.

 

The kiss started with simple brushes of the lips but Yuuri shifted his body so that Victor found himself lying back into the sand.  Yuuri deepened the kiss possessively and Victor found himself succumbing to this bolder Yuuri laying claim to him.  As this shy man slowly awakened, Victor found himself enamored with his lover.  Yuuri broke the kiss and pulled back.  Victor continued to stare up at him, his hand stilled, his mouth still open.  “You steal my breath away,” he finally whispered.

 

Yuuri turned and lay back, resting his head on Victor’s stomach as he stared up at the clouds.  “I missed this.  Coming to the beach.  It was a good place to de-stress.”  Victor’s hands began to card through his hair.  They remained like this until they heard a bark and then a shake of wet fur brought out shouts of protests.  A very pleased Makka tilted her head as her humans came back to life.  Cocoa watched the exchange with mild disapproval.  Laughing, the humans found their feet and continued their walk home with their four-legged companions and hands entwined.  

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love to hear from you all...please comment, leave kudos, bookmark, share. It encourages me to keep going...and sometimes sparks something in the imagination.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Family matters.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It was bound to happen...I mean...the walls are paper thin.

* * *

 

 

Yuuri and Victor walked through the doors with the dogs.  Victor had been talking to Yuuri about finding a groomer as they walked home and Yuuri agreed saying that he’d find someone for them.  Entering the inn, however, caused both men to notice the shift in atmosphere.  They exchanged glances. 

 

Yuuri’s mother narrowed her eyes towards both men.  Yuuri felt blush rising up in his cheeks in response.  He felt a hand reach around his waist automatically and Yuuri didn’t know if his partner was “protecting” him or comforting him.

 

“Yuuri, help me in the kitchen,” his mother stated. 

 

“Of course, Okaasan,” Yuuri answered with a small bow.

 

Victor looked from one to the other before saying, “I can help as well.”

 

Hiroko shook her head.  “No.  You go help Mari.”

 

Victor watched his lover being led away.  Yuuri glanced back and shrugged.  Yuuri’s family dynamics were complicated.  Victor sighed as he turned to seek out Mari.

 

He found her folding laundry.  “Do you need some help?” he offered. 

 

Yuuri’s sister eyed him warily.  “Okay.  What did you do?”

 

“What do you mean?” Victor asked in confusion.

 

Mari raised her eyebrows.  “My brother isn’t with you.  Are you both fighting?”

 

Victor shrugged.  “Mama took him with her and sent me in here.”

 

Mari narrowed her eyes.  “That can’t be good.”

 

Victor shifted to look down the hall.  “Should I go…”

 

“No,” she stated shaking her head.  “Let them work out their own shit.”

 

* * *

 

 

Yuuri washed dishes and prepped vegetables while his mother worked by the stove, cooking for the lunch guests.  It was quiet, the way they worked together in sync.  Years of helping in the kitchen with his mother offered a natural rhythm between the two.  Although there was something between them, something unsaid, it didn’t break this rhythm.  Yuuri waited.  His mother would speak when she was ready.

 

As the last part of the vegetables were diced and added to the stock, she turned to look at him.  Her regard assessed his appearance and he could read the concern behind her eyes.  “This boy…” she began.

 

“Victor,” Yuuri inserted.

 

She nodded.  “Does he treat you well, Yuuri?  Did he…push you into this?”

 

Yuuri narrowed his eyes in confusion.  “Why do you think that?”

 

“He wasn’t around until…it happened.”

 

“I can’t help the timing, Okaasan,” Yuuri responded quietly.  “We met that night.  Then it all fell apart.  I needed help and he came.  In a way, he never left even though he was half a world away.  Yes, mama, he treats me well.  I just worry sometimes that I don’t treat him well.”

 

She screwed up one side of her face as she studied him.  “You are more than friends.”

 

Yuuri nodded.  “We are like Uncle Akio and his partner Hitoshi.  I thought you knew this.”

 

“I think…I did not know how close you were.”

 

Yuuri’s cheeks blushed.  This was due to this morning.  “I love him, mama.  He feels the same.  He talks of marriage and our life far in the future.  He tells me that even if it hadn’t happened he would have sought me out and found a way to fit our lives together.”

 

She cupped his cheek.  “I just want to make sure you are okay.  That you are safe.  I remember the boy from when you first went to America.”

 

Yuuri’s eyes widened.  “Victor didn’t push me into anything.  If anything, he steps back and gives me time to catch up.”  Turning away, he stared out the window.  “We go to counseling together.  Kyle is one of the things I talk to them about.  I know that wasn’t healthy but I got out.  Victor is nothing like that.  He respects my boundaries.  He never pushes his way in.”

 

“It’s just that you are such a kind boy, Yuuri.  So easily…taken advantage of.”

 

Yuuri dropped his chin.  He knew what she was trying to say but it was coming out wrong.  Turning back to face her, he chose his words carefully.  “That was a long time ago.  I was eighteen and naïve.  I’ve grown up since then.  I’m stronger.  I have a better sense of people.  Give Victor a chance.  He is a good person.”

 

She sighed.  Taking his hand in hers, she stated, “I am your mother.  I have to know this.  I hope you do not think we do not like Victor.  We just want to know that this is what you want.”

 

Yuuri nodded.  “It is.  He is…the one I want.  I don’t know that I ever truly wanted anyone else.”

 

* * *

 

 

Mari sat on the back porch flicking ash off her cigarette.  She looked up when Victor joined her.  “Did you get everything put away?”

 

“Yes.  The towels are stocked the way you showed me,” Victor confirmed quietly.  Mari offered him a cigarette but he shook his head turning to stare off in the distance.  “It wasn’t easy, you know.”

 

She shook her head, tightening her face.  She knew the topic.  “It never is with Yuuri.”

 

“We have to go to counseling just to get past it.  I’ve been involved in his recovery since the beginning.  I didn’t mean…to push you away.  I know you were just trying to help.”

 

Mari closed her eyes to think about her words as she took a drag of her cigarette.  Opening her eyes, she said, “I don’t pretend that I know what’s best for my brother.  Even under ideal circumstances, he is fighting his own mind.  He shuts you out.  He sometimes would lapse into silence even when he was younger.”

 

Victor’s eyes widened in surprise.  “I thought that was a response to the assault.”

 

“Perhaps it was…but it seems to be a self-defense mechanism he puts in place.  When he was being bullied in school, it took forever to get it out of him.  He kept withdrawing further and further.  It got to the point where he didn’t talk for three days.  Mom took him to the doctor and they talked about different possibilities from autism to psychiatric care.  Then Takeshi stood up for him at school and told the bullies they would have to go through him if they tried to mess with him again.  Yuuri started talking once more.”

 

“Why didn’t you want him to skate?”

 

“I was afraid.  I wanted to protect him and I didn’t know what was wrong…like then.  I tried to keep him home from school when he stopped talking because of the bullies.  Mom insisted he continue to go to school.  No one knew what to do.”

 

Victor took a deep breath.  He had a feeling he knew where part of this went wrong.  “Did Yuuri communicate about his care with you and his parents?”

 

Mari laughed bitterly.  “Yuuri is lousy at communicating.  His coach gives better updates.  When Yuuri calls home, we have to drag information out of him.”

 

“When we go to Russia, I’ll make sure you have my number so you can check on him,” Victor promised.  He sought out her eyes and Mari nodded, smiling appreciatively.  “I am taking care of him, Mari.”

 

“I know.  I can see that now but I just met you that night and I didn’t know why you’d be watching out for my brother.  I didn’t know why you cared.”

 

“There are a thousand reasons and it probably doesn’t scratch the surface.  But I love him.  I never felt this strongly about anyone.  I want to stay with him.”

 

“Good.  Because if you break his heart, I may have to take you out,” she deadpanned.

 

Victor grinned.  “I think there would be a line.  I don’t know if he realizes how many people care for him.”

 

* * *

 

They arrived at the rink after dinner.  During the walk to the rink, Yuuri had shared with him about his conversation with his mother.  Victor told him what Mari shared with him.  Yuuri laughed bitterly, shaking his head.  “I forgot about that.  I wasn’t very old.  Takeshi had a tough love approach with me but Yuuko was always intervening.  It…was an interesting dynamic.  But I knew Takeshi had my back when it counted.”

 

Victor switched the music to a song to relax them before they practiced.  [ Dandelions ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W8a4sUabCUo) began to play as he took Yuuri’s hand and twirled him through some whimsical dance movements on the ice.  Yuuri settled back into his embrace as the song wrapped up.  “Are you planning a backup performance?” he asked.

 

Victor grinned.  “I’m always working on something new.  I found this when I researching the artist from your  _ Lost Boy _ performance.  I wanted to play with it.”

 

“I like it.  It’s light.  She has several songs that I’ve listened to before.”

 

They moved from  _ Dandelions _ to  _ Duetto _ , continuing to build off of that natural chemistry between the two of them.  They wrapped up with their exhibition skates, refining details. 

 

As they sat on the benches removing their skates, Victor informed Yuuri that he had accepted the area ice show invitation in his behalf.  They replied, asking if he’d be willing to skate in the show.  Victor hesitated because he didn’t want to overshadow Yuuri. 

 

“Is there any advantage to you accepting the invitation?”

 

Victor shook his head.  “I would prefer not to do the ice show.  However, it is good for you to mingle with other ice skaters from your country as well as interact with your fans.”

 

“I don’t really have fans,” Yuuri protested.

 

Victor gave him a disbelieving stare.  “We’ll see what you say about that after the ice show.” 

  
  


Once they arrived home, Yuuri asked Victor if he minded giving him some alone time.  Victor dropped his head to Yuuri’s and smiled warmly.  “I never mind.  Which room will you be in?”

 

“I think I’ll be in my old room.  Maybe about an hour?”

 

“Okay.  I’ll come get you in an hour and we’ll slip into the hot springs.”

 

Yuuri nodded in agreement and they parted, Yuuri heading upstairs and Victor wandering into the common spaces.  Toshiya saw him enter and held a small cup towards him.  “Saki?”

 

Victor smiled and accepted the cup, joining Yuuri’s father for a drink.  “How are you this evening?”

 

“It is good.  Business is good.  So I drink.  Yuuri go to bed?”

 

“No.  He just needed some time to himself.”

 

“That’s our Yuuri.  Always so quiet.”

 

Victor smiled, nodding in agreement.

 

After the second drink, Toshiya changed his questions.  “What is your intention with our son?”

 

To his credit, he didn’t spit out the drink in his mouth.  He recovered with a chuckle.  “Yuuri and I are still discussing our future.  However I plan to stay by his side.  He’s good for me and I hope  I’m good for him.”

 

“We shall see.  You take him to Russia?”

 

“We plan to train for part of the year in Russia.  However, I’m trying to work it out where we spend part of the year here.  It’s important for Yuuri to be close to family.”

 

Toshiya looked doubtful.  “Is this possible?”

 

“We shall see.  I don’t have very many seasons left, though.”

 

“How will you take care of our Yuuri when you retire?”

 

“I plan to coach.  I’m working with two coaches at the moment to transition.  I have other options as well but that is my plan.”

 

The older man studied him critically.  “Yuuri will always need quiet times.  Sometimes he shuts everyone out.  You know this?”

 

Victor sighed and nodded.  “We’ve dealt with it before.  I’ve accepted that this is a part of who he is.”

 

Toshiya handed him another drink.  Lifting his own, they both threw them back.  “Very well.  You will do.  He’s a good boy, though.  Treat him right.”

 

“I will, sir.”

 

The older man shook his head.  “No.  You call me papa.  You belong to Yuuri.  You are our son as well.”

 

Victor’s breath hitched.  He nodded.  “Yes, papa,” he murmured.

 

Yuuri’s father nodded with approval.

 

* * *

  
  


Victor found Yuuri stretching in a darkened room, the candlelight flickering over the planes of his skin.  He was positioned before the mirror.  Victor dropped down behind him, stretching his legs out on either side of Yuuri in a split.  “I really like this mirror.”

 

Yuuri leaned back, his head hitting Victor’s shoulder.  “We can move it into the other room,” he suggested. 

 

Victor’s arm slipped around his waist and pulled him tight in front of him.  “That sounds like a perfect solution.”  Yuuri’s head fell forward as Victor began to kiss the nape of his neck.  “Do you still want that soak in the hot spring.”

 

“Yeeess,” Yuuri breathed out.  He pulled his legs in and pushed up off the floor offering a hand to Victor.  The older man pulled himself up and they blew out the candles on their way out.  

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So what did you think? What an evening, right?
> 
> Comments, kudos, bookmarks, and shares are always appreciated.
> 
> I may have a new fic going up soon. "All that glitters is not gold"...it's a reverse AU with a hurt Victor. Keep an eye out.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ice time, silliness, and skype time with friends...with a dash of Eros.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last major scene fades into NSFW area...fair warning.
> 
> Thank you, BluSkates, for your reading and suggestions!

* * *

 

Yuuri and Victor were up early and headed to the rink to catch some early ice.  They warmed up by dancing through some steps and working through their rhythm.  “You know, ice dancers have a longer career span than figure skaters,” Victor suggested casually. 

 

Yuuri raised an eyebrow and pointed out, “There are no same-sex couples in pairs or ice dancing.  I don’t think the world is ready for us yet.”

 

Victor grinned.  “Perhaps not.  Maybe we’ll just focus on exhibition skates as a couple.  I do love dancing with you, on and off the ice.”  Victor pulled him into his space and guided them to the edge where he could lean Yuuri against the boards to brush a kiss over his lips.  “So many ways to make love to you,” he murmured next to Yuuri’s ear. 

 

As he broke apart from Yuuri, Victor looked down at Yuuri with a very satisfied expression as the blush rose up in Yuuri’s cheeks.  Victor pushed away and caught Yuuri’s hand to pull him forward.  They continued their warm up.  “What do you want to work on today?” Yuuri asked chasing after him on the ice.

 

“I want to see your  _ Eros _ , Yuuri,” he answered as he dropped back to his side then grabbing his waist.  “Will you show it to me?”

 

“I believe I showed it to you the other morning,” Yuuri smirked.  “Leading to a number of uncomfortable conversations.”

 

“I believe that comes with staying with family.  Did I tell you your father asked me my intentions?”

 

“No!  Did he really?  God, I’m so embarrassed.  Victor, why do you stay with me?”

 

Victor laughed.  “Because I love you and you infuse so much life into my world, I can’t imagine going back to what I was before.  There were some negotiations about dowry.  I believe I was offered a goat.  I insisted on two.  You are completely worth two goats.”

 

Yuuri stared at him open mouthed.  “Please tell me you are joking.”

 

Victor grinned.  Yuuri gave him a playful shove in response.”

 

* * *

 

 

Yuuri left the ice to take a break after practicing  _ Eros _ .  When he returned, he couldn’t help but laugh.  Victor was on the ice with the triplets dancing to [ Pocketful of Sunshine](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gte3BoXKwP0) .  He didn’t know when the little troublemakers snuck in but they had Victor wrapped around their fingers.  Yuuri remembered Victor’s response to the pictures of children in Hashimoto’s office.  At the time, he was uncertain.  Now, however, he could see Victor as a father…silly, spoiling his kids with love, and enjoying every minute of it.

 

Victor looked up and waved at him to join him.  Giggling girls begged him to join them as well.  Soon he was surrounded by girls with Victor weaving in and out between them.  Yuuko laughed from the sidelines recording their antics.  She didn’t care what they said.  This was going on social media.

 

As they escorted the girls off the ice so that Victor could practice his routine, Loop turned to ask, “So if you are our Uncle Yuuri, does that make Victor our uncle as well?”

 

Yuuri blushed as he reached for Victor’s hand.  “Do you want him to be?” he asked, softness entering his voice.

 

The girls all answered “yes!” together.  Victor laughed as he wrapped his arms around Yuuri’s waist.  “I’d love to be thought of as your uncle,” Victor answered happily.  He squeezed Yuuri in his embrace as the girls chattered brightly. 

 

Yuuko shook her head but offered an indulgent smile towards the two men that made her girls happy.  “You’re spoiling them.”

 

“They were already well on their way,” Yuuri teased.

 

“They love your attention.  Both of you.”

 

Victor ran through  _ Sparrow _ several times before he took a break and sent Yuuri to work through the choreography on  _ Yuri on Ice _ .   Victor wrapped up with  _ Photograph _ .  The morning was full and they decided to spend the afternoon in the gym and running.  They would dance that night.

 

“You were looking good out there,” Victor commented as they enjoyed ramen from a nearby shop. 

 

“Thank you.  So did you,” Yuuri answered.  “I think the choreography is coming together.”

 

“Until Yakov decides to rip it apart.  We’ll be stitching it back together once he is finished with it.”

 

“Did you send the video to him?”

 

“Of both of us…to both coaches.  Celestino wanted to know how you were doing.”

 

“I suppose it can’t hurt to have both coaches’ opinions.  These programs we put together are demanding.” 

 

“Your last ones were as well once we reworked them.”

 

“I don’t know why I never thought to back load my jumps.”

 

“Not many have the stamina to pull it off.”

 

They went back in to use the gym before heading home that afternoon.

 

* * *

 

 

Yuuri’s laptop was open to a dual screen of Chris and Phichit in the background.  Everyone was working on various tasks.  Phichit finally made it back to Thailand.  Celestino was sleeping off the journey in his new rooms.  Yuuri and Victor pulled more boxes out of storage to unpack.  Chris entertained them all with anecdotes of Victor’s past.

 

Yuuri pulled out another box and settled it on the bed.  Opening it, he gasped.  “Victor?” his voice taking on a warning timbre.  “Did you switch this box out?”  Yuuri reached inside and lifted out a pair of strappy black heels.  “This was supposed to go to Russia.”

 

“I knew you would miss them,” Victor rejoined.

 

Yuuri raised an eyebrow.  “I can’t wear these here!  My mother lives here!”

 

“I suppose you don’t want to dig any deeper,” Victor suggested.

 

Yuuri glanced from Victor to the computer screen (which held some very curious onlookers) to the box and then back up to Victor as he lifted out a pair of silk stockings.  Chris whistled in appreciation.  Phichit giggled.  Yuuri continued, “Oh, there’s more, boys.  Victor!  What were you thinking?  I can’t wear this here!”  He pulled out black silk panties and matching suspenders.  A bra came next.  Finally, the dress Victor chose for the entire ensemble. 

 

“God!  You two need to do a photo shoot!”  Phichit exclaimed.  “I would love to play with that look.  Victor in a tux, you…in that!”

 

“My mother would not approve!” Yuuri protested.

 

“How do you know?” Victor asked.  “She might be very accepting.   I mean, just because we both got lectures after they overheard us having sex…”

 

“Wait!  What?!!”  Phichit did not even have to fake his shocked expression.

 

“What?!!”  Chris’s eyes widened in increased interest.

 

“Victor!!!”  Yuuri stared at Victor with a look of strong disapproval.

 

“What, Yuuri?  You were going to tell your best friend.  I was going to tell mine.  They are both here now.  This way it’s all out there in the open.”

 

Chris smirked.  “So did you get the talk?” he teased.

 

“Actually, yes.  I was asked my intentions.”

 

“What?  Really?  Oh, this is golden.  I think I’m going to frame this moment.”

 

“My mother wasn’t much better,” Yuuri groaned.  “She wanted to make sure I was a willing participant in this relationship.”

 

“As opposed to…”  Chris didn’t know where to take this that didn’t cross into BDSM territory…but even that required willingness.

 

Phichit cleared the air.  “She brought up Kyle, didn’t she?”

 

“Yes!” Yuuri stated with exasperation.  “I swear I am never going to live down that bad decision.”

 

“Who’s Kyle?” Chris asked.

 

“Yuuri’s boyfriend from his first year in college,” Victor provided.

 

“Technically, he was just my roommate…who wanted to be something more,” Yuuri corrected.

 

“That caused you to have to move out of the dorms and get a restraining order,” Phichit added.

 

“Wow!  Who knew Yuuri had such a sordid past?  Oh, I guess you three.  And I am forever out of the loop.”  Chris sighed dramatically.

 

“The next time we all decide to be roommates, we’ll include you,” Victor consoled.

 

“Oh, I don’t know if the world is ready for the four of us rooming together,” he smirked.

 

“It didn’t come to an end at Worlds,” Yuuri quipped.  Although, technically shit did hit the fan.  However, Yuuri didn’t bring that up.  He was unconsciously stroking the silk stockings when he realized everything was quiet.  He looked up.  “What?”  Apparently, everyone else’s thoughts went the same direction.  Phichit came to the rescue.

 

“Why don’t you let us see how you look in that dress?”

 

Yuuri made a smirked then raised an eyebrow in Victor’s direction.  “Sure.  If you can get him to step out, I’d be happy to show you.”

 

“Why do I have to leave?” Victor pouted.

 

“Maybe I don’t want you to see it yet.”

 

Victor pouted but then grabbed hold of the promise of the word  _ yet  _ and slipped out of the room.

 

“Give me a little bit, boys,” Yuuri teased before leaving the room for the storage closet. 

 

“So, I didn’t know Yuuri could be so flirty,” Chris observed.

 

Phichit giggled.  “You have to catch him in the right mood but he can out flirt us all.  Most of the time alcohol is involved…but not always.”

 

“When did he pick up pole dancing?”

 

“About a year and a half ago.  He took it for two semesters, in fact.”

 

“So has he ever performed in a club?”

 

“You know…I’ll save that story for when Victor is here to enjoy it.”

 

Chris raised his eyebrows.  “Oui?”

 

Phichit nodded.  

 

Yuuri chose that moment to join them, the [ dress](https://www.missguidedus.com/black-bardot-ruffle-sleeve-shift-dress) settling high on the thigh.  He left off the stockings but he had the [ heels](http://picture-cdn.wheretoget.it/q6jyna-l-610x610-shoes-black-pumps-party+shoes-high-zip-high+heels-high+heels+shoes-sexy-high+heels+shoes-platform+shoes-sandals-heels-fabulous-cute-6+inch-instagram-tumblr-clothes-black+heels-blac.jpg) in place and kicked his leg back so they could see it.  Chris offered an appreciative whistle.  Phichit straight out stated, “That’s hot, Yuuri!”

 

“And I can’t wear this in front of my mother.  She’d send me to a convent.  And we’re Shinto!”

 

Chris laughed.  “You go change and I’ll text Victor that he can come back.”

 

* * *

 

 

It was after dinner and Victor talked Yuuri into a run and dancing.  “What kind of dancing?” Yuuri asked as he packed his backpack.

 

“Something hot,” Victor responded.

 

Yuuri laughed as he made some adjustments on his phone to grab a playlist from his computer.   “I hope you are ready for it.”  Yuuri then disappeared into the closet.  When he returned, Yuuri disconnected his phone and they ran down the stairs.  Waving to Yuuri’s parents, they took off in a run down the street and towards the rink, Victor challenging Yuuri to a race. 

 

If it had been a sprint, Victor surely would have won.  He took off with some speed.  However, Yuuri knew how long the run took and stretched out his gait, taking advantage of his stamina.  He caught up with Victor half way and stayed a few steps ahead of him the rest of the run.

 

They arrived at the studio and took the stairs.  “Does Minako know we are here?” Victor asked as Yuuri fished out his key.

 

“I texted her.  She said have fun.”

 

“Good…I plan on it.”  He punctuated his sentence with a wink.  Yuuri answered with an eye roll.

 

Entering the studio, Yuuri reached into the bag and handed Victor his dance shoes.  “I’ll be back in a minute.”  Yuuri then slipped into the changing room. 

 

Victor put his shoes on, tying them off, while casting curious glances towards the changing room.  He looked up as he heard the click of heels on the wood floors.  “Fuck!” he gasped.  Yuuri leaned against the facing in the dress from earlier and heels.  Yuuri winked before pushing off the opening and walked with ease in his direction.  The heels gave Yuuri a two inch advantage and Victor looked forward to both of those inches.

 

Yuuri plugged in his phone and soon a [ cha cha](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0oLFrPlTtM4) started to pipe through the speakers. Yuuri smiled appreciatively when he saw Victor tighten his form. Yuuri stepped into his space and soon they were answering one another movements.  Yuuri could lead but tonight, he let Victor lead, let Victor ground him.  Yuuri played off the heels through the dancing of the evening.  Salsa, mambo, samba, tango, and even waltzes, Yuuri fell into rhythm with Victor and Victor swept Yuuri around the dance floor. 

 

Breathless, they broke apart finally, Victor laughing softly entranced by his partner.  “You are always full of surprises.  I look forward to a lifetime with you, my Yuuri,” he murmured with a velvet voice, his fingers playing with the hem of that dress where it settled on those muscular thighs.  “And if you stay here with me much longer in that dress, we are going to break Minako’s rules.”

 

“Do you know how often she’s broken those rules?” Yuuri asked with a wink.

 

Yuuri moved to where he straddled Victor, dropping a hot, teasing kiss on those lips.  Victor’s hands found themselves sliding down Yuuri’s back to rest on that pert ass.  God, he loved that ass.  Then he felt Yuuri pushing up with those legs, back away.  He sucked on Victor’s lower lip as he backed away until he placed a hand on Victor’s chest and pushed him back into the chair.  Victor watched Yuuri toss a wink over his shoulder as he disappeared into the dressing room. 

 

Victor remained frozen in the chair, uncertain what he was supposed to do until Yuuri called back through the dressing room door, “Minako won’t be home for another hour.”  Realizing they would have no witnesses, nobody to hear them through the walls, Victor sprung to his feet and found Yuuri sitting on a counter in the dressing room.

 

“I thought you might like to help me with these shoes,” Yuuri murmured as he pulled one foot onto the counter, letting the other dangle over the edge.

 

“Shit!”

 

“You are developing quite the mouth, Vitya,” Yuuri chastised, his hand lightly tapping Victor’s jaw. 

 

Victor snapped his eyes up.  “Your eros might do me in,” he confessed. 

 

Yuuri answered with sultry laugh.  “Shoes, Vitya,” he redirected.

 

Victor turned his attention to the shoes.  When his hand started to drift up Yuuri’s calf, he received a warning tap once more.  The first shoe slipped off the ankle.  Looking up, he asked,  “May I massage the tension out of the muscles?”

 

“Since you asked, yes, you may,” Yuuri murmured. 

 

Victor started with Yuuri’s foot, working his way up to the ankle, then the calf muscle.  “How does that feel?” Victor asked.

 

“Much better,” Yuuri whispered, his eyes following every move Victor made. 

 

Victor reached down and lifted the other foot to the counter.  He worked the buckle on this one much more efficiently and slipped it off Yuuri’s other foot.  He glanced up to gain permission once more.  Yuuri nodded and he continued with a massage of that foot working up the calf.  Holding Yuuri’s eyes, he then turned the man on the counter to face him, moving in between those legs.

 

Yuuri gasped as Victor jerked him to the edge of the counter, his legs slipping around Victor’s waist.  Victor claimed those lips, Victor’s fingers sliding up those thighs pushing the hemline back.  “All you have to say is no and I back off,” Victor whispered against those lips.

 

“I know, Vitya.”  Yuuri’s hands began to play with the hem of his shirt and Victor broke apart long enough for Yuuri to pull it free.  He came back into Yuuri’s embrace bare chested.  Yuuri’s lips caught his briefly before they began to explore the bare skin. 

 

Victor gave him free movement even as his own hands moved around Yuuri’s back and thighs.  He finally caught the hem of the dress.  “Hold my neck and lift yourself up.”  Victor slipped the dress out from under Yuuri.  He wasn’t ready to relinquish it but this allowed him to enjoy the free movement of the fabric.  Victor continued to kiss Yuuri’s face and neck, trailing up to his ear and along Yuuri’s hairline.  His fingers tugged at the silken fabric of the dress, sliding it over Yuuri’s skin. 

 

Finally he could stand it no longer and his hands slipped beneath the fabric, tugging it over Yuuri’s head.  It billowed to the floor, caught on the air currents.  Yuuri watched it float down over Victor’s shoulder.  Victor was preoccupied with exploring the newly exposed skin.  He found Yuuri’s lips once more, deepening the kiss.  “What do you want?” he asked as the kiss broke. 

He didn’t expect tears in response.  Yuuri’s expression was at war with his thoughts.  “Talk to me, Yuuri.  What’s going on?”

 

“What I want is for you to touch me…but I’m so afraid I’ll end up recoiling once more.  I don’t want to hurt you, Vitya.”

 

“I don’t want to hurt you, Yuuri.”  Victor leaned his forehead to Yuuri’s in thought.   “What if we leave the fabric between us?” Victor suggested.

 

“I-it might work,” Yuuri answered, his voice holding a hint of a question as he wavered half way towards hope.

 

“Of course, it might ruin those delightful silk undies,” he teased to lighten the mood.  That seemed to work because Yuuri smirked in response. 

 

“I suspect my boyfriend will buy me more.”

 

“In any and every color,” Victor promised.  Victor shimmied out of his pants so that he too wore just his briefs, reducing the layers between them.  Pulling Yuuri back to him, he whispered in Yuuri’s ear, “I think we can dance through this.  Will you follow my lead?”

 

Yuuri nodded.  Victor reached for his phone lying on the counter and clicked on some loose [ jazz](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WkSzV6jAkhQ) .  He then moved into Yuuri’s space and pulled Yuuri against him.  Yuuri remained relaxed in his arms, pliable, moving to Victor’s touch as they swayed to the music, every movement creating some delightful friction.  They continued their [ dance](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1PSuI9r2ygg) of love, movements pulling them in and out of one another.  They continued their dancing, the fire building between them, stealing kisses and touches until they could no longer break apart. 

 

Victor held him close, his eyes holding his lover’s, desire brimming.  His hand slid down to the hardened ridge in Yuuri’s silk panties.  Yuuri gasped but didn’t recoil, didn’t pull away.  Victor held those eyes, his fingers working the friction as he listened to Yuuri’s quickening breath and soft moans.  Yuuri leaned in to capture Victor’s lips in a hungry kiss.  Victor felt Yuuri’s hand answering his own as they are caught in one another’s embrace, taking each other’s cries in with their kisses. 

 

“Vitya!” Yuuri moaned. 

 

Victor felt Yuuri’s knees buckle and he lowered them both to the floor, continuing to pull Yuuri through his orgasm.  “Let it go, Yuuri,” he encouraged.  Yuuri curled around him as he trembled in the after effect.  Victor stroked Yuuri’s hair with one hand, reaching down to finish the work Yuuri began while he held his lover.  “My beautiful Yuuri,” he whispered.  Yuuri rolled back up, reaching for Victor, his hand sliding down over Victor’s.  Victor caught Yuuri’s lips in a kiss as they both jerked him off.  “I don’t know if you realize how hot you are, Yuuri.  You’ve ruined me for anyone else.”

 

Yuuri gave him a shaky laugh, his hand sliding under Victor’s but feeling the guiding movements of Victor’s touch.  He felt Victor tensing up in his embrace.  He lifted his face to capture another kiss.  Victor cried out in release. 

 

They held onto one another for another several minutes.  Finally, Victor pulled free.  “Yep.  Your parents would have definitely heard us.”

 

Yuuri chuckled breathlessly, reaching out to Victor for another kiss.  Victor freely gave it to him.

 

Finally, they stood up on shaky legs and looked around them for their clothes.  They still had to make their way back home.  Yuuri and Victor dressed slowly, coming together often to kiss. 

Yuuri took in their surroundings once dressed in his running pants and t-shirt.  “We’ve got to clean up in here.  Minako is going to kill us.”

 

“Should I be more afraid of Minako or your mother?” Victor asked.

 

“In this case, Minako.  My mother won’t hurt you unless you hurt me.”

 

“Gotcha.”  Victor found a cleaning closet and began to wipe down the counters.  Yuuri worked on the floors.  Turning back to his boyfriend, Victor asked, “What did she expect?  We asked to use her studio to do homework given to us by a sex therapist.”

 

Yuuri looked up at him in surprise.  “I just said that our therapist told us to dance together to help with our communication.  There is no way in hell I’m giving Minako that kind of fuel and tell her it was a sex therapist.”

 

Victor chuckled.  “Language, Yuuri,” he teased, a reminder of Yuuri’s teasing correction earlier.

 

Yuuri stuck his tongue out before returning to the floors.  Victor’s chuckle followed him.

 

* * *

  
  


The next morning Yuuri’s phone buzzed with a text from Minako:

 

**Minako/ Thanks for cleaning up the dressing room last night.**

 

**Yuuri/ Oh.  We thought it would be a good way to thank you for letting us use the studio.**

 

**Minako/ Right.  ;)**

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And tomorrow, they go to Hashimoto. I think he will agree that progress has been made. I read that often the issues can be resolved in relatively few sessions. Three being the bottom number. Yuuri and Victor already have excellent communication and they want to make the connection. They are just dealing with Yuuri's fears. With two therapists working on the issue, they are able to progress. Also, time is eroding the hold the fears have on the two of them. It's still there...in the back of their minds. However, it doesn't live in the forefront. 
> 
> Comments are love! Kudos are welcome! Sharing is Caring!


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Counseling with Hashimoto and little domesticity.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...this spring cold?allergies? is kicking me hard. It slowed me down because Sunday I didn't feel like any writing. I may have written like three sentences. However, I didn't forget about you all. Thank you for all of your comments. I love reading them. 
> 
> Thank you, BluSkates. You got on this quick! I appreciate you so much!

* * *

 

 

Victor teased Yuuri awake that morning with a kiss.  Yuuri reached out and pulled Victor into his embrace, a soft moan slipping from those lips.  “It’s so dark,” he murmured.  “What time is it?”

 

“Almost ten.  It’s a little stormy today.”

 

Yuuri groaned in protest.  “We have an appointment today.”

 

“Mari’s already agreed to drive us to the train station.  She said to just text her on our way back, when we needed to be picked up.”

 

“We need to make sure we take our umbrellas.  And boots.”   Yuuri sighed.  “I hoped we could do something after the appointment.”

 

“Maybe something indoors,” Victor suggested.  “We can look for ideas while we are on the train.  But I need you to get moving so that we make our appointment.”

 

Yuuri nodded in agreement.  “Minako texted earlier.  I think she figured out that we desecrated the dressing room.”

 

Victor chuckled.  “I think that would be obvious.  But we couldn’t leave it in the state that it was in.”

 

“Yes.  Courtesy demanded that we clean up,” Yuuri responded wryly.

 

* * *

  


The train into Fukuoka set their arrival in time for a lunch date and, apparently, this was what Victor had in mind.  They sloshed down the sidewalk until they arrived at the destination.  He chose a restaurant near their appointment and they settled in for sushi.

 

“I thought this would make up for last time since it was so daunting.”

 

Yuuri smiled with gratitude.  “I appreciate it but last time wasn’t your fault.  We just overscheduled.”

 

“I know.  But for some reason the gods do not want us to explore Fukuoka,” Victor pouted as he peered through the window at the rain hitting the sidewalks.

 

Yuuri reached across the table and took his hand.  “Don’t worry.  We’ll get a chance.  Now, you were saying something about Paris?”

 

“I have a few sponsor obligations and wanted to know if you’d join me.  It’s a few meetings then a photoshoot they wanted out before this fall.  It’s a cologne advertisement.”

 

“Hmmm…Paris.  I don’t know.  Could you not pick a classier city?”

 

Victor’s mouth opened to argue then he saw the twinkle in Yuuri’s eyes.  “So it’s a yes.”

 

“Of course it’s a yes.”

 

“I thought I’d see if Chris wanted to meet up.”

 

Yuuri sighed and Victor raised an eyebrow to ask why.  With a shrug, he answered, “I was just thinking it would be nice if Phichit could join us.”

 

“We could always ask.  Let me set up the dates with the photographer then Chris.  Then I’ll pass them on to you and you can see if Phichit can join us,” Victor offered.  Squeezing Yuuri’s hand, he added, “I know you miss him.”

 

Yuuri nodded, a sad smile playing across his lips.  “I’m glad he’s able to go home to Thailand.”

 

“So is Celestino not returning to Detroit?”

 

“No.  Phichit is trying to raise interest in figure skating in Thailand and Celestino is going to set up a skate club.”

 

“Good.  You know, once I retire we could do the same here.”

 

“We could…but we should wait and see what happens in Russia.  What if Yakov wants you there?”

 

Victor laughed sharply.  “He probably wouldn’t like my approach but we shall see.”

 

“But you do know his training techniques,” Yuuri pointed out.

 

Victor’s expression became distant for a moment.  “That I do,” he conceded.  Focusing on Yuuri, he added, “But I’m not the only one.”

 

“I just want you to know…I’m open to the possibility.  In the end, I just want you to be happy.”

Victor smiled across at Yuuri.  “Anywhere I’m with you, I am happy.  I just want…family,” he confessed.

 

Yuuri nodded, tilting his head.  He knew they would be confronted by those portraits in Hashimoto’s office soon.  “You want children,” Yuuri whispered.

 

“Yesss,” Victor sighed, a dreamy smile resting on his face.  “It never seemed possible.  There are so many prejudices towards gay men in Russia.”

 

“It’s not perfect here, either.  But…I don’t think it is as bad.”

 

“It’s nothing like in Russia.  We won’t be able to be open there.  Adopting is definitely not an option in Russia.  I never considered a surrogate.  Oh, Yuuri!  Would you want children with me?  Do you want children?”

 

Yuuri laughed warmly.  “Yes, I want children.  I’d prefer to wait until we both retire.  Definitely until one of us retires.”

 

“I suppose that would be sensible,” Victor agreed.  “I’ll just have to spoil my nieces.”  Yuuri raised a questioning eyebrow.  Victor gave him a look of mock offense.  “Axel, Lutz, and Loop!”

 

Yuuri laughed once more.  “They spoil easily.  Don’t let them take advantage of you.”

 

“I enjoy spending time with them.  I like your friends, Yuuri.  I love your family.  This is why I would be happy retiring to Hasetsu.”

  


* * *

 

 

They arrived at Dr. Hashimoto’s office with a few minutes to spare.  Waiting in the reception area, Yuuri shifted uncomfortably.  Victor took his hand and squeezed it reassuringly but was only given a nervous smile in reply.  Victor had hoped the koshu wine they enjoyed with their sushi would relax Yuuri a bit more before their appointment.  Then again, this might be a bit more relaxed for Yuuri.

 

They were finally ushered into Hashimoto’s office.  The greeting went straight forward this time without Victor gaping at the family photos.  Perhaps it was good that they talked earlier.  Yuuri could tell how starved he was for family.  He grabbed hold of anything domestic.  It made his heart tighten for him.

 

“So tell me about your week since we last met,” Hashimoto invited.

 

Victor draped an arm around Yuuri.  “I don’t know why we didn’t dance like that before.  We worked on a ballet performance together for months.  Yet, it was like something unlocked between us.”

 

Yuuri blushed and nodded.  “I can sometimes speak better on the dance floor or the ice,” he confessed.

 

Hashimoto lifted a finger up to his mouth thoughtfully.  “And has this helped with your intimacy?”

 

A small smile played at Yuuri’s lips even as the blush went into full bloom.  “It has helped.  We…have taken small steps.  I still struggle with direct touch.  I’m afraid…and I think Victor is as well.”

 

Victor nodded.  “I’m worried about hurting Yuuri…and, if I’m honest, I never want Yuuri to be afraid of me.  I’d never hurt him…in any way.”

 

“I’m not afraid of you, Victor.  It’s not about you,” Yuuri protested.  Yuuri dropped his eyes to the hands in his lap where he played with his fingers nervously.  Finally, he lifted his head and looked between the two other men.  “It’s…not about me, either.  It’s about them.  That one time…when we tried to…” Yuuri took a deep breath before continuing.  “...when we tried to have sex...it triggered me into a panic state.”

 

Hashimoto shifted his head to one side.  “Has it only been once?”

 

Yuuri nodded.  “To that degree.”  Staring unseeing at the table in front of him, he slipped back into his memories.  “Victor was wonderful, then.  He took care of me.  He wrapped me up and gave control of the situation back to me.  The night he found me, he took care of me as well.  I couldn’t get help.  I needed him to be my voice, to hold my hand.”

 

“You speak of control.  How important is it to you?”

 

“To be in control?  That’s the scariest part about my anxiety…the lack of control, my thoughts unwinding and being unable to reel them back in.  Part of me knows that something isn’t right.  Sometimes I will even know the right answer but I can’t convince myself to let go of those fears.  I…can easily convince myself of the worst.  So to be in control is very important.  To not fall apart is everything.”

 

“The night of the attack, that control was wrested from you.”

 

Yuuri brought his hand up and started to tug on his ear and rub the lobe.  Victor began to rub circles on his back even as he started to rock.  “I would have never consented not that they even cared about that.  They just took what they wanted.”  His voice hitched, fighting back the sob.  Victor shifted, sliding an arm around Yuuri’s abdomen, supporting him even as he doubled over.  The sob broke free like a dam breaking.  “I’m supposed to be getting past this,” he stuttered out.  “I’m supposed to be getting better.  Why is this hurting me still?”

 

Hashimoto leaned forward and took Yuuri’s hands in his.  “When’s the last time you’ve allowed yourself to cry about this?  When’s the last time you released your anger?”

 

“I-I’m not supposed to.  I’m supposed to be getting better.”

 

“Bottling it up isn’t better.  You said you are in EMDR therapy.  This is good in that it will reroute your negative thoughts.  However, you are allowed to be angry about it.  You are allowed to be sad.  You are allowed to mourn.  There are so many base emotions affected by acts of violence, by acts of sexual assault.  To deny them, they tear us up within.  These are not negative thoughts.  It is okay to say you are angry about what they did to you.”

 

Yuuri continued to choke on his sobs even as Victor held onto him, grounding him, making him feel safe.  Hashimoto continued to hold his hands as if he was pulling out all of the emotions from within him.  And they poured out of him.  Like vomit.  His body shook in Victor’s hold.  He felt the pain from deep within his core.  He let it out until there were no more tears, until he was gasping for breath, until his sides and stomach hurt from the wretched pain.

 

Yuuri’s breathing finally slowed and Victor helped pick him up as Yuuri released Hashimoto’s hand.  “I-I didn’t realize I was bottling it up.”

 

“We often try to repress things we don’t want to deal with.  We might compartmentalize them.  However, you are trying to get better.  You are moving forward.  You just needed awareness…and perhaps permission.”

 

Yuuri hugged himself even as he continued to rock.  “Will I ever be normal?”

 

Hashimoto offered a reassuring smile.  “What is the normal you are seeking?”

 

Yuuri turned to Victor.  Taking his hands in his, he whispered, “I don’t want to shy away from you.  I know I’m safe with you.  The normal I want is to be able to be your lover completely.”

 

Victor lifted those fingers up to his lips and brushed a kiss over the knuckles.  “My normal is to not be afraid to touch you because I don’t want to send you back to that dark place.  My normal is that I can make love to you and it will just be us.”

 

“Victor,” Hashimoto stated quietly.  “When is the last time you’ve cried or expressed your anger?”

 

Victor swallowed and turned to look at the doctor.  “I-It’s been awhile.  I don’t want to burden Yuuri,” he admitted.  Yuuri squeezed his hand.

 

“It sounds like you’ve both been holding back a part of yourselves that is important.  If you each give yourselves permission to open up about this, it will also reinforce that it is okay for your partner to let it out.  Walk, talk, cry, find a gym and hit a punching bag.  In all of these things, support one another.  You are both in this together.  If you don’t work through this, it could become the elephant in the room.  And I’ve watched those elephants tear apart good relationships.”

 

Victor faced Yuuri with a sad expression.  Combing his hand through his lover’s hair, he murmured, “I don’t want to make you cry.”

 

Hashimoto shook his head.  “It’s okay if he cries.  You can cry together.  But put the anger where it belongs.  Not towards each other.”

 

“So do we have homework?” Yuuri asked quietly.

 

“Yes,” Hashimoto considered tapping his finger on his lip.  “You need to find a kickboxing studio or something similar.  I want you two to work through your anger.”

 

“We get along great,” Victor argued.

 

“Repressed anger even if it isn’t directed towards one another has a way of exploding.  You need to learn how to release it.”

 

* * *

 

 

Returning from Fukuoka, the dampness seemed to have settled into Victor.  It started with a sneeze, then a shiver.  Before the train pulled into the station, Yuuri found himself cradling Victor against his chest, an apparent warmth emanating from his body.  Yuuri stroked his hair and soothed him for the remainder of the journey.

 

Mari picked them up and when they arrived home, Yuuri sent Victor straight to bed promising to join him soon.  He then went to the kitchen and talked with his mother.

 

“I think the rain has made him sick,” Yuuri informed her.

 

Hiroko nodded.  “Damp weather is probably different up north.  I will make him soup.”

 

“He’d like that, mama.  I think I’ll brew some tea.”

 

“Make him take the ginger honey,” Hiroko insisted, removing a jar of honey infused with ginger and lemons.

 

Yuuri busied himself making hot tea for Victor while his mother pulled out some stock and began to build up the[ _zosui_](https://linsfood.com/zosui/) _._

 

Yuuri climbed up the stairs and found Victor shivering in their bed.  He settled the tea on the table next to his partner.  Curling around Victor, he whispered soft words to him.  “What is that?” Victor asked, lifting his head.

 

“It’s the words to[ _Nocturne_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YjBHUfv40pM).  I skated to it during my junior years,” Yuuri murmured, carding his fingers through his hair.

 

Victor pouted pitifully.  “I don’t like being sick,” he complained with a sniff.

 

“My mother is making soup.  For now, sip this ginger tea.”  Yuuri held the cup to Victor’s lips.  Victor finally relaxed his pout and took the cup.  Yuuri resumed carding his fingers through Victor’s hair, his voice lilting into the words of _Nocturne_ , now singing softly.

 

 

> Now let the day
> 
> Just slip away
> 
> So the dark night may watch over you
> 
> Velvet blue, silent true
> 
> It embraces your heart and your soul
> 
> Nocturne
> 
>  
> 
> Never cry, never sigh
> 
> You don't have to wonder why
> 
> Always be, always see
> 
> Come and dream the night with me
> 
> Nocturne
> 
>  
> 
> Have no fear
> 
> When the night draws near
> 
> And fills you with dreams and desire
> 
> Like a child asleep
> 
> So warm, so deep
> 
> You will find me there waiting for you
> 
> Nocturne
> 
>  
> 
> We will fly, claim the sky
> 
> We don't have to wonder why
> 
> Always be, always see
> 
> Come and dream the night with me
> 
> Nocturne
> 
>  
> 
> Though darkness lay
> 
> It will give way
> 
> When the dark night delivers the day
> 
> Nocturne

  


“Was this used in that movie with that green ogre?” Victor asked.

 

Yuuri chuckled.  “More or less.  I don’t think Fiona sang the words.”

 

Victor closed his eyes even as he murmured, “We are quite the pair.  Singing lullabies and children’s songs to each other.”

 

“I don’t mind.  They settle me,” Yuuri whispered.

 

“Me, too.”

 

A tap on the door and Yuuri slipped from around Victor and opened it to his mother carrying a tray with soup.  “Vicchan, this soup make you warm inside,” Hiroko said warmly.  Yuuri took the tray from his mother and they both thanked her.

 

Settling it in the middle of the bed, they both enjoyed the meal his mother brought up to them.  She included a second bowl for Yuuri and he was grateful.  He knew he wouldn’t leave Victor much that evening.  He smiled indulgently at how needy Victor became when he was sick, although Yuuri isn’t surprised.

 

Setting the bowls back on the tray, he began to pile on the blankets.  “Yuuuuuuri,” he whined.

 

Yuuri chuckled softly, smoothing out his hair.  “We are going to sweat this fever out of you.  So settle down and sleep.”

 

Victor had no fight in him and did what he was told.  As he dozed off, Yuuri gathered up the dishes and took the tray down to the kitchen.  

 

“How is Vicchan?” Hiroko asked with concern.

 

He chuckled softly as he rinsed another dish.  “I have him bundled up like you did for us as kids.  Hopefully the fever will break and he’ll be fine in the morning.”

He took the dogs out before heading back up, shaking off the dampness.  Sliding between the sheets, he quickly had an arm full of Victor.  “You woke up!” he whispered even as he started smoothing Victor’s hair with one hand and caressing his back with the other.

 

“You were gone.  Missed you,” he murmured.

 

Yuuri chuckled.  “I didn’t go far and I’m here now.  Sleep, Vitya.”

 

Wrapped up in Victor’s fevered body piled under blankets had Yuuri sweating in no time but  he didn’t move from the other man’s embrace.  

 

* * *

 

 

Note:  Lyrics for Nocturne were found[ here](http://www.elyrics.net/read/s/secret-garden-lyrics/nocturne-lyrics.html) .  The music linked above was found [ here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YjBHUfv40pM) .  Recipe for ginger/honey remedy is [ here](https://simplegreensmoothies.com/recipes/green-healing/lemon-ginger-and-honey-all-natural-coldflu-remedy) .  My uncle made something like this and brought it around when we were kids…although his didn’t have any lemon in it. [   Here ](http://www.chatelaine.com/health/wellness/flu-fighting-tea/) is the ginger tea recipe.  I’m fighting a cold so these all sound so wonderful to me at the moment.

As for good alcohol pairings for sushi, try[ these](https://www.matchingfoodandwine.com/news/pairings/eight-great-drink-pairings-for-sushi/).

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Notes up above to preserve links.
> 
> I love hearing from you all. Kudos and comments keep me going. Sharing is caring.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two steps forward, one step back...remember, this is a dance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The first scene gets a bit NSFW.

* * *

 

[Today’s song selection: [   You Look Like Rain ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WkSzV6jAkhQ) and maybe a little [ Fever](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Km5MLLgufoM)]

* * *

 

Yuuri stirred when Victor’s fever broke and he was kicking off blankets.  “Too hot!” Victor complained.  Yuuri chuckled as he left the bed.  Handing Victor a set of fresh PJ’s, he shoved him towards the shower.  “You’re going to make me go alone?”  Victor gave him a hurt expression.

 

Yuuri arched an eyebrow.  “Really, Victor?”  When Victor continued to pout, Yuuri threw his hands up in the air and followed him, muttering “drama queen” under his breath.  Yuuri set the taps while Victor stripped, draping himself across Yuuri after he deposited his clothes in the hamper.  

 

Yuuri grumbled and gave Victor a little shove into the shower.  Underestimating Victor’s hold on him, he found himself dragged inside.  “You could have at least given me a chance to undress,” he groaned.  He peeled off the wet clothes before turning to deal with Victor.   “I hope you don’t think you are cute right now,” Yuuri murmured, his chastisement softened by the look of indulgence.

 

Victor pouted as Yuuri tugged him under the shower stream.  Yuuri used his hands to smooth the water through Victor’s hair while the rivulets worked its magic on Victor’s body.  Yuuri filled his palm with Victor’s shampoo.  Reaching up, he massaged it into Victor’s scalp.  Victor leaned back to rinse.  Yuuri repeated the action followed up with conditioner.  While the conditioner set, Yuuri took the body wash and worked the soap around Victor’s body, massaging the illness from his partner’s skin.  Victor then slipped under the stream and rinsed, Yuuri’s fingers sliding through Victor’s hair to remove the last vestiges of conditioner.

 

“Better?”

 

Victor nodded.  “Thank you,” he whispered.  “No one ever takes care of me when I’m sick.”

 

Yuuri’s hand went up and cradled Victor’s cheek.  “I will always take care of you…just as you take care of me, Victor.”

 

“Will you let me wash your hair, too?”

 

Yuuri smiled and nodded indulgently.  Victor guided him under the shower and Yuuri closed his eyes as he felt those long fingers slide through his hair.  The scent of the shampoo reminded him of chai tea and he smiled as he realized Victor was using his more expensive product on him making him feel treasured.

 

“I’m going to wash your body now,” Victor murmured wanting to give him warning as Yuuri still had his eyes closed.

 

Yuuri felt those fingers sliding down his arms then moving up his back and over his shoulder.  A kiss brushed over his lips.  Yuuri’s eyes fluttered open as the kiss broke.  Victor’s color did look better.

 

“I had planned to take care of you last night and then ended up sick,” Victor caressed with his voice.  “Will you let me take care of you now?”

 

“Are you sure you are up for it?” Yuuri asked then blushed when Victor glanced down with a smirk.

 

“I think I can manage,” he teased.  He stepped closer, his eyes darkening.  “I want to try something but if you don’t feel comfortable or need me to back off, tell me.”  Yuuri nodded wordlessly.  Victor reached for Yuuri’s hand and laced his fingers together.  “I want to find a way to touch you,” Victor whispered.  “Will you let me hold your hand while you stroke yourself?”

 

Yuuri nodded, swallowing nervously.  Victor dipped his head down to brush a kiss over Yuuri’s lips.  Yuuri closed the space between their bodies, sliding his other hand around Victor’s neck.  Deepening the kiss, he reached down with his free hand and took his length in hand.  Victor’s hand slid down Yuuri’s arm as Yuuri began the upward motions with his hand.  Yuuri froze for a moment when Victor’s hand reached his.  Victor shifted the kiss, sliding his tongue along Yuuri’s.  With a gentle tug, Victor felt Yuuri’s hand moving once more.

 

Yuuri broke the kiss and hissed, “What about you?”

 

Victor’s devilish gaze met his.  “Do you think you can handle both of us at once?”  Victor thrust his member against Yuuri’s hand teasingly.  Yuuri took a moment to process the request before opening his hand to wrap around the two of them.  Yuuri’s gasp was answered by Victor’s moan.  Victor captured Yuuri’s lips again as his hand joined Yuuri’s.  “Are you okay?” he murmured against those lips of Yuuri’s.

 

“Y-yes.  You’re t-touching me,” he stuttered before lifting his lips to kiss Victor once more.  Victor’s hand was indeed touching him, slipping past Yuuri’s hand but maintaining a ground to Yuuri’s hand.  “I love the feel of you,” he whispered between kisses.

 

The kiss broke and Victor dropped his head against Yuuri’s shoulder.  Yuuri could hear his partner’s breath quickening even as he felt the knot unwind in his gut.  “I’m not going to hold out much longer, Yuuri.”

 

“Me, neither, Victor,” he whispered.  He brushed a kiss against Victor’s pulse point at the juncture of his neck and shoulder, his tongue exploring that patch of warmth.  His fingers tangled with Victor’s now as they worked together to bring about their orgasm, tugging and twisting.  Victor’s breath caught and tightened as his free hand tightened its hold on Yuuri’s hip.  Two more strokes and Yuuri joined him in orgasm.  They sagged against one another.

 

Yuuri felt the overwhelming emotions of the moment overtake him.  He began to shake in Victor’s arms and then the tears broke loose.  He clung to Victor as he wept.  When he looked up, he realized he wasn’t alone in his tears.  They both knew this moment crossed a road for them.

 

Over the next half hour, they cleaned each other up as well as made sure the shower was in order.  Dressed in their briefs, they stripped the bed and spread the new sheets in place.  As the first silver threads of morning filtered through the window, they were wrapped up in one another sleeping.

 

Yuuri woke up hours later feeling the ache in his throat.  Moving his hand to his forehead he knew he was fevered.  He shifted against Victor and croaked out, “I don’t think I can skate today.”

 

Victor’s eyes widened.   “Yuuri!  I’m so sorry!  I made you sick.”

 

Yuuri snuggled into Victor’s warmth and found sleep once more.   

 

* * *

 

Victor slipped from Yuuri’s embrace and moved to the couch where he pulled out his laptop.  It would be a good day to catch up on email and other obligations.  He went through responses from the coaches on their latest videos first making significant notes.  He then started working through other obligations.  He contacted his management team to inform them Yuuri would be joining him at the ad shoot so they could clear it.  As he worked through other emails, he received a reply suggesting Yuuri might be used in the ad if he was willing.  He would have to talk with Yuuri about the content before he could agree.  These ads sometimes were rather risque.  The team responded by forwarding the cologne company’s vision.  

 

 _Irrésistible_ .  He was the face for that particular scent.  He wore it and wore it well with its northern hints of cardamom and cedar.  However, the offer he was looking at was for something different.  He had not heard of this scent before and he learned it was new and that they were looking for a face for it.  The scent was described as hints of cherry blossom, sandalwood, and cinnamon.  That scent could have been designed for his Yuuri.  What was it called?  He then chuckled because apparently his team had leaked Yuuri’s program song to the ad company.   _Éros_ .  It would be an excellent move.  They wanted to capture Yuuri’s innocent eros look.  Every time Yuuri skated _Eros_ publicly, they would give him a bonus once the ad released.  He looked through the numbers.  He would definitely suggest this one to Yuuri.

 

An alert from his PR team caught his attention.  He normally received those notices when he received threatening emails from his fans.  All of his social media and public email were moderated by the firm and they took care of the negative elements efficiently.  With Yuuri’s permission, he asked them to take over Yuuri’s public accounts as well.  They were tied together now and the team worked on incorporating this tie into Victor’s image.  Yuuri didn’t have a team to work for him.  

 

He frowned as he read the contents of the email.  Several threatening posts came across Yuuri’s social media.  As he flicked to the original accounts, he quickly screenshot the threats and attached them to an email to Yakov’s nephew with Interpol  Nikolai.  He lifted his eyes to Yuuri and went back and forth with whether or not he should tell him.  Finally, however, he felt that it would be important that Yuuri was aware of the threat.  He prepared mentally what he would say when Yuuri woke up.

 

Yuuri finally roused and turned to look for him.  “Hello,” he said, his voice scratchy.

 

“Good afternoon, my Yuuri,” Victor murmured forcing warmth in his voice.  “How do you feel?”

 

Yuuri frowned, his brow wrinkling as he watched Victor.  “I’ve been better but I’ll live.  What’s wrong?”

 

Victor sighed and patted the couch next to him.  As Yuuri joined him, Victor slipped an arm around him and pulled his face to his shoulder.  They remained like that for a few minutes before Victor found his words.  “I received an alert from one of your social media accounts the PR firm is watching.”

 

“What kind of alert?”

 

“I only receive them if they are faced with moderating threatening statements that I should be made aware,” Victor bridged quietly.  “These statements...well, I screenshot them and sent them to Nikolai.”

 

Yuuri sat up at that statement, fear vibrating through his body.  “What do they say?”

 

Victor turned the computer screen towards Yuuri.

 

> _[Photo of Yuuri practicing for competition]_
> 
> **I can’t wait to see you in competition...and to pull you aside after like at the GPF.**
> 
>  
> 
> _[Selfie of Victor and Yuuri with Yuuri’s head tucked under Victor’s cheek]_
> 
> **I normally prefer the babyfaces but I may make an exception for your man.  Maybe we can do you both together.**
> 
>  
> 
> _[Selfie of Yuuri and Phichit before they left Detroit]_
> 
> **I look forward to destroying your friend...since you don’t know how to keep your mouth shut.**

 

Yuuri stared at the messages, pale with fear.  Looking up, he asked, “What do we do?”

 

“That’s why I sent it to Nikolai.  We’ll keep our itineraries private.”

 

“The ice show, Victor.”

 

“They haven’t made any moves at ice shows in the past.  However, we will be cautious and stay together.  We don’t have to stay in a hotel as close as this is to Hasetsu.”

 

“Paris?”

 

“They’d have to get the information from my teams.  I’ll make sure it’s not leaked.”

 

Yuuri returned to Victor’s embrace and clung to him.  Victor could feel the trembling through his body.  He wasn’t certain he wasn’t shaking as well.  Brushing a kiss across Yuuri’s forehead, he pushed a few keystrokes to pull up Phichit and Chris’s private skypes.  They had a group set up for the four of them.  He sent the files for them to view and soon could see that Phichit was up.  An incoming call followed.

 

“Victor?  Yuuri?  Are you both alright?”  Phichit’s eyes were wide with concern.

 

Victor tightened his arms around Yuuri.  “We are a bit shaken.  Since the threats included you, I wanted to make sure you were aware and took appropriate precautions.”

 

“I will.  Don’t worry.  Yuuri?”  Phichit studied his friend clinging to his lover.  Yuuri lifted his eyes towards the screen.  “It is going to be alright, Yuuri.  Don’t panic.  I assume this has been handed over to Interpol?”

 

Victor nodded.  “I didn’t expect such a direct contact.  We haven’t deleted them because they may be traceable.  We’ll see.”

 

“I wouldn’t have seen them.  I’m not supposed to read the comments,” Yuuri murmured.

 

“That’s part of the team’s job, Yuuri.  It keeps you from having to deal with it,” Victor confirmed.  

 

Phichit did some keystrokes and Victor realized he was looking for the original messages.  “Their IP tracks them to Russia.  Did we think they were Russian?”

 

“Yes, just a different region,” Victor confirmed.  “Their accent isn’t the same as mine.  Perhaps eastern.”

 

“Which would make Sochi convenient,” Yuuri whispered.

 

All three fell silent.  Phichit finally broke the stalemate.  “I am going to go talk to Celestino.  You should contact Yakov.”  Phichit then shut down the call.  

 

Victor massaged circles into Yuuri’s back.  “It’s going to be okay.”  He didn’t know if he was trying to reassure Yuuri or himself.  He decided that it was both.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So what are you thinking? 
> 
> Comments, kudos, subscribes, bookmarks, and shares are all encouraged. I love hearing from you.
> 
> Thank you, BluSkates, for the read! :) The experience of working with you gave me the courage to have my novel beta read. We shall see how that works out.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuri continues to react to the threats fighting the fears that threaten to overwhelm him even as Victor continues to reassure him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay...the angst is going to continue for a bit. Patience. You know I've got you. I'll bring the fluff back into play soon.

* * *

 

 

A number of calls was traded back and forth between Victor and Yakov, Victor and Celestino, Yuuri and Phichit, and once he woke up, Chris and Victor, the former pissed that Victor didn’t call to wake him up.

 

“If the threat was directed towards you, I would have called,” Victor argued as they Facetimed.

 

“It was directed at Phichit,” Chris argued.  Victor blinked in surprise and then it dawned on him.  “If it had been Yuuri and I had information and didn’t call, would you be pissed?”

 

“I…um, yeah.  I’m sorry, Chris.  I didn’t think.”

 

“As long as you realize it…next time, wake me up,” Chris insisted.  “Phichit won’t tell me.  He thinks he can’t be hurt.”

 

Victor’s eyebrows furrowed.  “What do you mean?”

 

“He let it slip that he goes along with Yuuri when Yuuri gets upset.  However, Phichit is quite confident that he can handle himself.  I…am not nearly as confident in his abilities to fight off two large Russians in an enclosed elevator.”

 

This conversation prompted more calls from Victor to Celestino and Phichit with Phichit finally agreeing to be extra careful and aware of his surroundings.  Victor and Chris both had their doubts but they agreed not to say anything to Yuuri.  Celestino, however, messaged Victor later for Nikolai's contact information.  He wanted to contact the police in the area and planned to talk with Phichit's parents about the threat.  However, he wanted to make sure he had the necessary information.  Regardless of Phichit's promises, his coach knew him well enough to know he could be oblivious of his own risk.

 

* * *

 

 

Yuuri kept keying on restless energy, especially after the threats.  He skated with Victor.  They both worked out with Nishigori Takeshi in the gym.  His nerves were on edge, though, and finally Takeshi called him on it.  “What’s going on?”

 

Yuuri looked at Victor and Victor shrugged.  This was Yuuri’s friend since childhood.  “I’ve received some threats,” Yuuri murmured keeping it general.  Victor saw through Yuuri’s vague reply that Takeshi and Yukko didn’t know the whole of it.

 

Takeshi’s eyes widened.  “Oh, wow.  Are you scared?”

 

“This time, yes.  Very much so,” Yuuri admitted.  He drew his knees to his chest.  “They’ve threatened Victor and Phichit as well.  It’s been turned over to the police.”

 

“I think we should follow Hashimoto’s advice, Yuuri,” Victor nudged.

 

Takeshi looked from one to another.  “What is that?”  He ignored the who in the question, unconcerned.  He just wanted to help.

 

“It was suggested we take out our aggressions in a studio by kickboxing or doing some other form of martial arts,” Yuuri stated flatly.

 

“You can come to my dojo,” Takeshi offered with a shrug.  “They offer classes in kickboxing, karate, tai chi, and Zumba.”

 

“Zumba?” Yuuri asked with raised eyebrows.

 

“Yuuko likes that one.  She says it gives her time to herself and with our girls, I don’t blame her.  They have a nicer gym than what we offer here.  I go three days a week.”

 

“I already dance and skate,” Yuuri pressed.

 

Takeshi shrugged once more.  “You’re the one that told me you took random dance classes to help you do something new with your skating.  Maybe this could add another layer.  Something fierce.”

 

Yuuri’s mouth opened.  He looked over at Victor who grinned.   The older man knew that Takeshi planted the right bait for his partner.  “Fine.  When do you go next?”

 

“I would normally go tomorrow morning but I can take you by today.  That way you can see what they offer.”

 

They went to the dojo later that afternoon and Takeshi introduced them to the owner who suggested a beginning kickboxing course for adults.  They signed up and would start the next day.

 

* * *

 

Victor wrapped Yuuri up in his arms that night brushing kisses on the exposed skin.  Yuuri pushed him away, turning on his side and facing away from Victor, completely closed off.   Victor raised up on his elbow and studied his boyfriend.  “Yuuri, you can’t stop living.”

 

“I know…but at the moment, I’m too scared to relax.  I can’t do what you want.”

 

Victor moved to lie close to him.  “I don’t expect us to make love every night, Yuuri.  I just want to reassure you that I have you here in this moment.”

 

“I…never expected them to come after us like this.”

 

“So far, it’s just words.  And now we have a warning.  It could just be a scare tactic.”

 

“It’s working.  I’m scared.”

 

“They aren’t going to come here,” Victor reassured him softly as he slipped an arm around Yuuri’s waist.  Yuuri didn’t push him away but he didn’t relax into Victor’s embrace.

 

Yuuri was silent for a moment considering his next words.  “We don’t know that, Victor.  I’m not hard to find.  None of us are.  We live public lives as much as we like to pretend it is private.”

 

“You’ve told me over and over that you refuse to let them take anything else away from you.  Are you going to let them steal your peace of mind, Yuuri?  You’ve taken defense classes.  We are about to take some more.  We are at your parent’s home surrounded by people, none of whom are Russian save myself.  You have friends watching out for you.”

 

“They don’t know the true threat.  I…am afraid to tell them.  What will they think?”

 

Victor squeezed his arms around him.  “They will think that you are amazing and strong to overcome this.  They will see how courageously you face this.  They will know the pain behind the beauty and recognize it for its exquisite quality.  They love you.  They will see you for who you are and they won’t waiver.  I won’t waiver.  It’s going to be okay.”

 

Yuuri turned in his arms and buried his eyes in Victor’s shoulder.  The sobs came slow at first but once they started it was as if the floodgates were opened.  Victor held onto him, grounding him.  He carded his fingers through Yuuri’s hair knowing it soothed him.  And at some point, Victor joined him in his tears, in his pain.

 

* * *

 

 

The next morning, they joined Yuuko and Takeshi for coffee once the girls were off to school.  Yuuri stared over the cup in Yuuko’s dining room.  Finally, he found the words.  “Last December at the Grand Prix Final, I was raped.”

 

As Victor predicted, they surrounded Yuuri with their love.  Yuuri cried.  Yuuko cried.  Takeshi raged.  Victor held Yuuri’s hand.  Finally, they all settled down.  Yuuko, holding Yuuri’s other hand, asked, “What can we do to help?”

 

“They haven’t been caught.  The men are older, Russian.  One has dark hair and one has light hair.  Th-they’ve attacked a number of skaters over the last few years.  No one put it together until recently.  I’m afraid they will come here.  I don’t want them to hurt anyone, especially not someone I care about.”

 

“Have you told the local police?” Takeshi suggested.

 

Yuuri’s eyes widened and he looked up at Victor.  “We haven’t,” Victor stated quietly.  “I’ll contact Nikolai with Interpol and see if he’ll send the information to the local police.  We didn’t think about it.”

 

“It might help,” Takeshi responded quietly.

 

The rest of the day was busy.  In between kickboxing class, skating, and dancing they managed to reach Nikolai who agreed to forward the pictures they had gathered from the video at the Worlds as well as any pertinent information.  He warned that the local police may contact them for more information.

 

Once the day was complete, Yuuri curled up next to Victor barely keeping his eyes open to reach their bed.  He had not slept well the night before.  Now he was drained.  Victor held him in his protective embrace.  Cocoa and Makka surrounded him on the other sides.  They slid into a hard sleep.

 

 

 


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuri unravels a little further…it’s a good thing there is a counseling session on the horizon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, BluSkates, for the beta read!

 

Note:   [ Safe and Sound ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fclJMBEGSfI) song inspiration...

 

* * *

 

Victor woke up to Yuuri fighting him in his sleep.  Yuuri murmured in his sleep, words slipping out in Japanese but Victor could make out words like “no” and “stop” as his hands pushed against Victor’s chest.  Cocoa was alert and started to work at pulling Yuuri out of his dream even as Victor murmured reassurances.  “You’re safe, baby.  I’ve got you.  I won’t let anyone hurt you.  Come on, baby.  Wake up.”

 

Yuuri’s brown eyes fluttered open and as soon as he focused on Victor he crashed into Victor’s embrace.  Victor soothed him, massaging circles on his back and whispering gentle words as the younger man trembled in his embrace.  Victor began peppering kisses around his lover’s face trying to calm him further when Yuuri’s gaze turned intense. 

 

Yuuri purposefully sought out Victor’s kiss demanding Victor open up to him.  Victor froze at first, shocked at the change.  Then he opened his mouth, responding as Yuuri needed him to.  Yuuri’s hands tugged at the hem of his t-shirt and Victor sat up to remove the offending object.  Yuuri followed suit, tossing his own t-shirt behind him before aggressively pushing Victor back into the mattress. 

 

“Yuuri,” Victor moaned into the kiss, his mind becoming hazy with desire.  Yuuri whispered nothing, his actions intent on pleasure like it was a mission.  He began to move his lips down Victor’s body, his fingers exploring their own trail down his sides until they come to the waistband of Victor’s sleep pants.  Victor tangled his fingers into Yuuri’s hair as the brunette continued to pull moans from his lips, that tongue teasing his nipples, those teeth nipping at his skin, those lips sucking marks into his skin. 

 

Breaking contact, he lifted his brown eyes to meet Victor’s blue.  He knelt back on his heels as he reached for the waistband, watching Victor’s eyes and face for any sign of protest.  Victor was lost to him, however, compliant to anything the other man desired.  Yuuri released the tie and eased the pants and briefs down Victor’s hips, then thighs, and finally off.  He removed his own before crawling up Victor’s body, sliding his hands up the inside of Victor’s legs as he traveled. 

 

As he reached for Victor’s hardened member, he held Victor’s eyes through the slow strokes.  “Touch me,” he demanded in a whisper.  Victor’s lips parted uncertainly at the invitation.  He remembered another night similar to this.  Reaching tentatively towards his partner, he watched Yuuri’s eyes close in pleasure as he took Yuuri’s length in hand.  Victor sought out Yuuri’s lips, needing the connection, and Yuuri responded with his own demands, their moans caught in the other’s throats as each of them reached intensely with their tongues to grab hold of the other.  Their hands moved in time with one another as the kiss continued. 

 

Victor didn’t want to break this moment.  However, the need for lubricant was becoming apparent and he shifted away slightly to reach into the drawer.  Yuuri moaned at the loss following him, cuddling under his chin.  Victor chuckled softly.  “This will make it better, baby.  Give me your hand.”  He added the slick liquid to his own palm and then shared it with Yuuri.     He resumed his kiss even as he reached for his partner.  The simplicity of the sex that morning with its most basic actions and responses seemed to vibrate through them answering a need that went beyond creativity.  It was need.  It was demand.  It was response.  Losing themselves in one another as their breath quickened, as their strokes lengthened and twisted towards the top, moans slipping from their lips as they felt their need building, and then…the release, coming between them as they looked into one another’s eyes.  It wouldn’t be the type of sex that authors write about but it was what they needed for that moment. 

 

Yuuri leaned forward and brushed a kiss over Victor’s lips.  A perfect end to that simplicity, not demanding, just a thank you.  Yuuri asked and Victor gave without hesitation to his lover.  Yuuri brushed Victor’s hair out of his face and as Victor watched his partner, he could still see the shadows gathering in Yuuri’s eyes.  “I’m going to shower,” Yuuri whispered.  He backed out of Victor’s arms and grabbed a robe to cover him as he crossed the hall.

 

Victor laid there for a few minutes still caught in the moment of what happened.  Then something started pulling at the back of his mind.  Those shadows.  Pushing out of bed, he found himself striding across the hall without bothering to cover up.  Entering the bathroom, he heard sobs coming from the shower.  He quickly joined Yuuri enfolding him in his arms.   _ Was it the sex?  Is the nightmare still holding on?  Is he still stressing about the messages? _  So many thoughts played through Victor’s mind as he held onto his lover.

 

Finally Yuuri found words.  “I didn’t…I was afraid that we would move back.  I wanted to keep you close.   But I can’t shake this fear, Vitya.  They can’t have this.  They can’t have you.  Please.  Hold onto me.”  

 

Victor continued to hold him, brushing kisses along Yuuri’s hairline, willing to give Yuuri anything he needed from him and more.  He watched him with worry, already sensing Yuuri drawing himself inward.  He’s been down this road so many times.  He knew the indicators of Yuuri’s shutdown.

 

* * *

 

Victor and Yuuri eventually left the bathroom and Victor found himself assisting Yuuri as he dressed, the stress of everything shutting Yuuri down, freezing him up.  Movement below told them that the family was awake and Victor wondered how much they heard, unconcerned about them hearing the sex but the sobs in the shower.  However, as he took in his partner’s appearance, he realized there was no hiding this from them.  And Yuuri needed to eat.  They had an appointment with the therapist today and Yuuri needed that appointment.

 

Victor led Yuuri downstairs.  Family members’ eyes trained on them right away.  “What’s wrong?” Hiroko asked first approaching her son and reaching for him.  He turned into her touch and Hiroko looked from Yuuri to Victor with worry in her eyes.

 

“He needs to eat for now,” Victor stated, needing to give everyone direction.  Hiroko nodded and guided her son to a chair in the kitchen.  Toshiya followed and tried to get Yuuri to talk.  Mari watched it all unfold before turning her eyes to Victor demanding an explanation.  He led her to the side and told her about the threatening messages Yuuri received.

 

“Oh my god, Victor!  Is he…he must be terrified!” Mari kept sending worried glances to the kitchen.

 

“He needs us to be calm.  It lets him know the situation is not out of control.  He needs firm love and support.”

 

Mari nodded.  “I can see that.  Okay, but we just left him alone with Mom.”

 

Victor agreed and they turned toward the kitchen.  Hiroko was cajoling him to eat the food or drink the tea before him.  Yuuri remained unresponsive.  Victor stepped into his line of sight.  “Yuuri, you need to eat now.  And drink your tea.”  He spoke with authority, the order seeming to startle something out of Yuuri.  The other man began to move automatically to follow the orders.  He still wasn’t responding to his environment but he was at least eating.  Victor nodded to Mari as he guided Yuuri’s parents out of the room. 

 

Drawing a deep breath, he caught them up on what had happened.  He wasn’t sure what he expected.  However, the two parents falling apart in his arms was not it.  He felt them grab hold of him and each other.  At first he didn’t know what to do with his hands before finally settling them around the two older adults.  He rested his cheek on Hiroko’s head.  This was much harder than Mari. 

 

Finally, they broke loose.  Toshiya recovered his voice first.  “What do we look for?”

 

“They are Russian but from the east.  Their accents slightly differ from mine.  One is blond and the other has dark hair.  They are both older than me.  They should stand out.  If anyone like that shows up, could you text us, maybe with a picture?  Don’t approach them, however.  Yuuri would never forgive himself if someone he loves was hurt by them.”

 

“Do we call the police?” Yuuri’s father asked.

 

“Yes…especially if they act suspicious.  The police in Hasetsu have been apprised of the situation by the detective handling this case for Interpol.”

 

“Okay.  At least now we have an idea how to keep our son safe.  What…about how he is acting now?”

 

Victor studied the door to the kitchen thoughtfully.  “He’ll come out of it eventually.  We have a counseling session already scheduled.  I should be able to get him there because he tends to hold close to me when he’s like this.  Hopefully we can get him responsive by this afternoon.  Otherwise, we make sure he eats and takes care of himself.  Introduce routine and simple tasks to pull him into his surroundings.”

 

Mari was way ahead of Victor.  When he went to look for them, he found them in the laundry and Yuuri was holding a towel, his movements slow but practiced to the point where they were automatic.  Victor joined them and the three of them worked through the large load of towels. 

 

* * *

 

 

Mari drove them to the train station.  Yuuri was a bit more responsive although his answers were monosyllabic for the most part.  “We will go see Sasaki-sensei,” Victor murmured.  “And I will take care of you.  Just stay with me, baby.”

 

Yuuri held onto his hand as they climbed onto the train and Victor sheltered him next to the window.  Victor held tight to his hand as he guided him to the transfer line for the subway.  It was crowded but Victor held onto him as they used their spare hands to hold onto the rings.  They exited the station and into the daylight.  Yuuri looked around and felt relief at the sea of Japanese faces.  He held onto Victor’s hand as they walked towards the building that held Sasaki’s office.

 

“Good morning,” she greeted them, ushering them into her office.  Her eyes studied the brunette as he held tight to Victor.  “Is something going on?”

 

“He’s having a rough morning.  Two days ago we received threats from the ones that attacked him.  We’ve contacted the authorities but Yuuri is visibly shaken.”

 

“Understandable,” she responded guiding them both to a seating area.  “Do we need to make this a group session, Yuuri?”  She watched Yuuri tighten his hold on Victor in response.  “I read where you’ve become non-communicative in the past.  Let’s see if we can get you back to your words.”

 

“Dr. Bishop and I both thought this was one of his responses to PTSD but I’ve learned from his sister that he also lapsed into silence when he was younger.  So perhaps it is more of an anxiety response.”

 

“Very likely.  How long has he been like this?”

 

“Just this morning.  The last two days we talked about what is going on, making friends aware.  This morning I had to pull him from a nightmare.  He seemed trapped in it and didn’t want to wake up.  Cocoa and I worked to pull him out of it.  However, his words slipped away as the morning progressed.”

 

“Where is his support animal?”

 

“I was barely able to get Yuuri here.  We left Cocoa at Yuuri’s parents’ house.”

 

“Yuuri?  Can you indicate yes for me?”  She waited for Yuuri to respond and received a slow nod for yes.  “Good.  Now will you indicate no for me?”  Again he took some time to process the request.  He slowly shook his head for no.  “Excellent, Yuuri.  When you find words, I want you to use them.  Okay, I need you to let me know for sure.  Do you want Victor here for this session?”  The response was a bit faster, indicating yes while he tightened his hold on Victor.  “Okay.  That’s an affirmative.  Now, what words were we using this morning?”

 

“Scared,” Victor supplied.  “He used that word several times when I found him in the shower shaking.”

 

“Okay.  Yuuri?  Is it the nightmare that has you scared?” Sasaki asked, refocusing on her patient.  Yuuri hesitated, furrowing his brow.  Finally he nodded and shook his head.  She tightened her lips.  “So a little bit but not completely.”  Yuuri nodded.   “So it’s the messages you received.”  Yuuri nodded emphatically.  “Okay, do you feel safe right now?”  Yuuri gave a hesitant nod.  “When you were traveling here, did you feel safe?”  Yuuri squeezed Victor’s hand and slowly shook his head.  “Did you see anyone that would threaten your safety?”  Yuuri again slowly shook his head.  “Now, at home…was there anyone who threatened your safety?”  Yuuri shook his head once more and opened his mouth to say something before scrunching his face up in frustration.  “Good, your words are coming closer to the surface.  Let’s see if we can give you access.  Are you feeling other things besides scared?”  Yuuri nodded.  “Sad?”  He offered a mix of nod and shake.  “Anger?”  Yuuri nodded emphatically.  “Powerless?”  Again, he nodded.  “Worried?”  Nod.  “Worried for yourself?”  He nodded more emphatically.  “Worried for someone else?” 

 

Yuuri turned towards Victor, squeezing his arm.  “V-vitya,” he whispered.

 

“There they are.  Okay, we will work in short phrases until you are ready for more.  Let’s start naming your resources.  Who protects you?”

 

“Vitya…p-police…s-security…f-friends…c-coaches…f-f-family.”  Yuuri stalled after that.

 

“You forgot one very important person, Yuuri.  You protect yourself.”

 

“I…am not weak.”

 

“Good.  Now, what can we do when we are afraid?  It’s like a panic situation, isn’t it?”

 

Yuuri looked up in surprise.  “F-five senses.  I s-see Vitya, S-sasaki-sensei, books, desk, chair.”  Yuuri closed his eyes.  “I h-hear wind, clock ticking, water…an aquarium?”  He opened his eyes and surveyed the room finding a tank with fish in the corner that he never noticed.  “I smell citrus…orange, something floral…cherry blossoms?”  He slipped his hand along Victor’s arm.  “I feel Vitya, his skin is cold until he holds my hand then it’s warm.  His sleeve is soft cotton.”  He closed his eyes once more as he leaned on Victor’s shoulder.  “Taste.  Mint from my toothpaste.  Salt from my tears earlier.”

 

“Good.  Now we have a strategy to help you find your words once more.  If you can’t say them out loud at first, repeat them in your mind until you can get the words out.”

 

Yuuri nodded, his cheek rubbing against Victor’s sleeve.  “I…can do this.”

 

“I know.  You just did.  And Victor saw you do it as well if you need a reminder.  Now, I think we  need to work on replacing your words.  Anger is a good word.  We are allowed to feel anger.  We just have to find healthy ways to release it.  What about powerless?”

 

Replacing words was something he knew from EMDR therapy.  This was informal but he applied that experience.  “I…can fight.  I’m s-strong.  I have resources.  I’m a dancer.  I am a figure skater.  I’m not weak.”  His words became stronger as he worked through the list.

 

“Worried.  How can we change this?” she asked.

 

Yuuri had to think for a moment.  “I can make a plan.  If I know what to do, I will worry less.  Control makes me feel less worried.”

 

“What about things you can’t control?” she pressed.

 

Yuuri visibly tensed.  “I-I make a plan…” He looked up helplessly.

 

Sasaki tilted her head to one side.  “You can’t plan for everything.  However, would you say that you have good instincts, Yuuri?”

 

He nodded.

 

“And can you react if needed?” she suggested.

 

“I-if I don’t panic,” Yuuri whispered.

 

“You know what to do about that.  Can you react?”

 

“Y-yes.”

 

She nodded in agreement.  “Sometimes we are forced to be flexible with the plan.  Unexpected things happen.  I don’t want to see you tied to a plan.”

 

“But a plan…is good?” Yuuri questioned.

 

Sasaki nodded.  “It is good…as long as we can adapt.”

 

Yuuri considered this, turning it into a familiar context.  “When I skate, sometimes I miss a jump and it can throw me off.  I need to be able to…adapt…and make the change so that I can continue my program and keep it competitive.”

 

“That’s an excellent example.  And a good place to practice.  Everything takes practice.  Now, I think we will reschedule to go through your protocols.  You’ve already had a rough day.  I do have an opening Thursday afternoon if you can make it.”

 

Victor pulled out his phone and nodded.  “We have a meeting with other coaches and skaters that evening.”

 

“I’ll expect you at three, Yuuri.  Now, Victor, are you doing okay?”

 

“I’ve been in a constant state of adapting since this happened in December.  I will be fine.  If that changes, I’ll set up an appointment for myself.  Thank you.”

 

“I won’t push since I know the two of you are seeing another therapist.  Keep talking to each other.  Now, have safe travels.”

 

They said their goodbyes and left the office.  Yuuri felt tired but more…outside himself.  He held  Victor’s hand as they navigated the sidewalk but he didn’t cling.  It was a reassurance that Victor was within reach.  “Shall we just go home?” Victor asked.  Yuuri nodded.  “Maybe we can soak in the onsen before dinner tonight. 

 

Yuuri smiled.  “That sounds like a great plan. Vitya?”  His partner turned to regard him.  “Thank you.  I don’t think I tell you enough how grateful I am that you are with me, watching over me, taking care of me when I need it and giving me space when I need that as well.”

 

“I am always seeking more ways to love you, my Yuuri,” he murmured, dropping his forehead to Yuuri’s.  “I could spend a lifetime on that mission.  You give me purpose.”

 

“I love you, Vitya,” he whispered.

 

“I love you, too, my Yuuri,” came his answer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know...another rough chapter. There are good things on the horizon. Trust me.
> 
> Love your comments, kudos, and shares!


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A bit of domesticity, a touch of skate time, plans, easy comfort, and a small confrontation. In essence, we have fluff.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks, BluSkates for keeping me lined out.

* * *

 

 

Yuuri woke stiff and sweaty, making a face at the sliver of sunlight.  Turning towards Victor, he could see that the other man was sleeping soundly.  He leaned forward and brushed a kiss in his hair followed by a caress of his hand before slipping out of the sheets.  He gathered his clothes and tiptoed out of the room and into the bathroom.  A shower and necessary shave later Yuuri descended the stairs.

 

Entering the kitchen, he found his mom working at the stove.  “Good morning, Okaasan.”  He rested his arms around her shoulder to peer into the pot. “Dashi?”

 

“Yes,” Hiroko replied sunnily.  “I’m rebuilding my stocks today.”

 

Yuuri shouldered in next to her playfully.  “Well, let me throw some eggs together for breakfast.”

 

“I already have rice in the steamer.  It should be ready soon.”  She added something else to the pot before asking him gently.  “How are you today?”

 

Yuuri shrugged.  “My head’s a little clearer.  I’m sorry I worried everyone yesterday.  I just couldn’t…get past this process.”

 

“Vicchan told us what happened.  You don’t have to hide these things from us, Yuuri,” she chastised gently.

 

Yuuri thinned his lips as he scrambled the eggs.  “I don’t mean to…I just…I’ve grown used to leaning on Victor.  I forget that I need to open up to others.”  He was silent for a moment before adding quietly, “I’ve never been good at that.”

 

“I know,” his mother stated with a raised eyebrow.  “You are always afraid to be a bother.  We are your family.  We want to know what is going on in your world.  It bothers us more when you don’t talk to us.  So please let us in.  Even the bad stuff.”

 

Yuuri served up the eggs into a bowl and added rice to the side.  “I’ll try harder, Mama.  I promise.”

 

“You might as well talk to me…because I will get it out of Vicchan otherwise.”

 

Yuuri wrinkled his nose because he knew she was right.  Victor wouldn’t reveal anything private but he would tell them what they needed to know.  Finishing his breakfast, he washed his dishes and dried them before putting them away.  “I think I’m going to get an early start.  Will you tell Victor I went to the rink?”

 

She shifted nervously.  Yuuri cut her off before she voiced her thoughts.  “I’m taking Cocoa and it’s already daylight.  I can’t stop living, mama.  It’s something both Victor and I decided months ago.  I won’t let them take anything from me.”

 

She tightened her lips and nodded.  “Okay, son.  Will you at least send me a message when you arrive?”

 

He smiled and agreed.  “That I will do.”  He dropped a kiss on her head.  “Thank you, Mama.  Will you tell Victor where I’ve gone?”

 

“Of course.  Be careful.”

 

“I will.”

 

Soon he was out the door, Cocoa in hand.  They worked around the edge of town along his familiar path.  The street lamps were fading against the rising sun as he approached the turn that would take him into town and to the rink.  He let himself in with the key to enter and smiled when he saw Takeshi had the ice ready for him.  He quickly shot a text to his mother before lacing his skates.  Setting the music for his free skate on repeat, he immersed himself into the notes as he stretched and warmed up, gliding around the ice with ease.

 

He moved into position as the music neared the repeat.  Natalia’s[ music ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=26I1hs1bg3o) was perfect the way it captured the maturity of his heart along with his skating career.  He remembered how for the longest time he was caught up in his selfish, immature heart.  His anxiety could not let him see the love around him.  He felt alone in his skating when, in reality, people were reaching out to him all the time.  It wasn’t until Victor came into his life that Yuuri began to see how other people loved him.  His parents, his sister, Minako, the Nishigori’s here in Hasetsu.  Ashley, Natalia, Julia, Phichit, Celestino, and then Victor all reaching out to protect him, watching over him in Detroit.  And with Victor came Chris.  He knew there were so many others.  No matter what happened, he knew that, out of all of this,  love flowed through his life, lifting him up, supporting him.  And that awakening came through Victor.

 

He skated the first time, marking jumps, then once more.  When his eyes caught sight of Victor, Yuuri began inserting downgraded versions of the jumps. He didn’t know why but he had to skate this song today.  It demanded his attention.  He moved through several circles relaxing his movements until another loop hit and he went through his program once more.

 

* * *

 

 

Victor arrived at the rink and found himself drawn to the stands, mesmerized by his skater, his Yuuri, running through his program.  He only glanced up when Yuuko sat next to him.  “He seems better,” she murmured.

 

Victor nodded.  “I knew he was when he left the house on his own,” Victor conceded.  “Still, it’s hard to wake up to find him gone.”

 

Yuuko watched the pain pass before his eyes.  “I can’t imagine.  I think…I’d panic a little in your shoes.”

 

“I…did,” Victor admitted softly.  “Then I went downstairs and talked to Mama.  I knew then that Yuuri was taking back what was lost over these last few days.  And as hard as it is to let him go, I know it’s necessary.  I have to love him enough to let him go.”

 

A sad but hopeful smile played across her lips.  “I know it’s not the same but…I remember when I took my girls for their first day of school.  I came home and cried.  Takeshi didn’t know what was wrong at first.  When he figured it out, he spent the morning taking care of me.  We didn’t open the rink until the afternoon that day.”

 

Victor smiled at the warmth of that story.  “I don’t know if I’ve expressed how much I appreciate how flexible you are with ice time for us.”

 

She waved him off.  “It’s Yuuri.  We don’t even think twice about it.”

 

“But I’ve noticed…you don’t charge him for his time on the ice.  And that’s been extended to myself.  You need to have some revenue to pay the expenses.”

 

Shrugging, she stated, “We just want to support Yuuri.  We can’t offer sponsorships like major businesses but we can do this.  We’ve been with Yuuri since he put on his first pair of skates.”

 

Victor turned to look at her with an open expression, the pain of earlier compartmentalized away.  “If you won’t accept rink fees, would you allow me to organize an event towards the end of the summer before we leave for Russia?”

 

“What do you have in mind?” she asked although she wondered about the change in pace.

 

“An ice show,” he suggested.  “I’ve thought about it over the last week.  Yuuri can introduce one of his programs and I’ll have other skaters as well.  If the timing is right, then perhaps Yuri Plisetsky will skate as well.”

 

Yuuko took his hand and asked, “Will you skate, Victor?  You are quickly becoming a part of this community as well.”

 

“I don’t want to take the spotlight of Yuuri,” Victor protested shaking his head.

 

Yuuko nodded with a smile.  “Very well.  I will allow you to organize this event.  Of course, once my girls find out about it they will be underfoot offering all kinds of help.”

 

Victor laughed warmly.  “I relish the idea.  Your girls are a delight.”

 

If Victor had not already won Yuuko over, that statement alone would have done it.  “Well, then.  I guess we need some planning to do.  Text me some dates and I’ll figure out what will work best.”

 

“Thank you,” Victor offered graciously.

 

Yuuko rolled her eyes.  “It’s me that should be thanking you.”

 

“Well, we want to keep your business afloat,” Victor answered and then winked.  “We plan to return this winter for around six months and will need it.”

 

She laughed.  “Good point.  Well, thank you still the same.”  She stood up and left his side and he took that signal as time to go down to the ice.

 

Yuuri drew up to the barrier as Victor approached.  “What do you think?”

 

“I like the changes,” Victor praised.  “You’ve added some difficulty to your step sequences.”

 

“I’ll increase my jumps once the rest of the choreography is down.  I hope you aren’t upset I left before you were up.”

 

“Not upset, not at all,” he answered with a shrug.  “Just a little disoriented at first.  I found you well enough and your mother said you texted to let her know you arrived.”

 

“I couldn’t sit back any longer.  It was time to take it back.”

 

“I agree,” Victor responded warmly.

 

The rest of the morning was spent rotating between their programs.  When they took a break for lunch, they went outside and found a grassy patch to enjoy the lunch Hiroko prepared for them.  It was here Victor revealed his plan for the ice show at the end of the summer.  “We won’t take any of the money for it.  I thought it would be a good way to give back to your community for how they’ve supported you through the years.”

 

Yuuri sipped the apple juice thoughtfully.  “It’s a good idea.  The Nishigoris never let me pay rink fees.  They refuse to give me a sum.  I am glad you thought of it.  Do you really think Yuri will do it?”

 

“If he is here, I think he will.  I’m going to contact him this afternoon while we relax before dancing.”

 

“Are we dancing?  Today is kickboxing.”

 

“Good point.  And I think we need to release some pent up emotions.  We shall see how we feel after our lessons.”

 

* * *

 

The lessons were demanding and they found themselves deciding to spend the evening in the hot springs followed by massaging one another.  In the middle of all this, Victor managed to connect with Yuri.

 

Victor greeted him and went right into the invite.  “Are you coming this summer?”

 

“If you’ll help me with _Agape_ , I can get Yakov to okay it.  Do you have room?”

 

“Yuuri’s old room is empty.  It won’t be a problem.  Let me know when you can come and I’ll see if I can’t put something together.”

 

“What do you mean ‘put something together’?” Yuri asked suspiciously.

 

Victor chuckled.  “Nothing alarming.  Just an ice show to support the local rink.  Will you do it?”

 

“I suppose?  Is Yuuri involved?”

 

“Of course.  I won’t be skating, though.  I’m coordinating the event.”

 

“Great.”  Yuri sound unamused.  “I won’t be involved if this ends up being a fuck up, Vitya!”

 

“So much confidence!  I’ve helped Yakov organize enough events.  This one is smaller.  It shouldn’t be a problem.”

 

“Smaller…but in a country where you don’t know the press or speak the language.  Piece of cake.”  The doubt and sarcasm flowed freely.  “Whatever.  If you can get it up and running, I’ll take part.”

 

“Good.  I have one more favor.”

 

“Of course you do,” Yuri muttered impatiently.

 

“You have the key to my apartment.  I need you to find a costume.  If you can’t find them, have Sasha help you.”

 

“What do I get out of it?”

 

“You can pick one for yourself.”

 

“Well, I suppose I can do that,” he agreed begrudgingly.

 

Victor sent a photo to Yuri by text.  “I haven’t told Yuuri yet, so keep it quiet.  I didn’t know this but apparently when he was a young skater and a new fan, his ballet teacher brought him to see me skate.  We had a picture taken together.  I want that costume for Yuuri’s short program.”

 

“That’s actually…kinda cool,” Yuri admitted begrudgingly, adding, “in a sappy sort of way.”    

 

“Thank you, Yuri!  I owe you.”

 

“And I will collect…because I don’t forget promises made to me.”

 

Victor laughed.  “Of course you don’t.”

 

An hour later, Victor received a text with the date Yuri would arrive.  He smiled with excitement.  It fit into the schedule perfectly.  He followed up with Yuuko and before the evening was finished, the dates were secured for the ice show as well as two medalists headlining the show.  He’d talk with some of the area coaches on Thursday and increase the interest.

 

* * *

 

 

Yuuri cuddled up with Cocoa as the evening progressed, losing himself in his thoughts.  Victor found him looking out the window and handed him a cup of tea.  “I thought you could use this,” he offered.

 

Yuuri smiled gratefully.  “Thank you, Vitya,” he murmured.

 

“Is everything okay, _lyubov moya_?”

 

“It is…I’m just thinking about the day.  I took back everything, Vitya.  And I skated my heart.  And I feel…fragile and strong at the same time.  Not in a bad way, just that my heart is on my sleeve.   And so I drew myself inside.”

 

“It scares me when you withdraw.  I’m always afraid you are going to stop talking to me once more.”

 

“I don’t mean to…stop talking.  It’s like…something gets stuck inside.  Like…I’ve short circuited and I have to wait for the wires to reroute themselves.”

 

“I know you don’t mean to…just like you don’t mean to withdraw.”  Victor leaned forward and brushed a kiss on top of his head.  “This has been a difficult half year.  The next half will be better.”

 

Yuuri smiled softly.  “Do you really believe that?”

 

“I believe in you…and us.  And that’s all I need.”

 

“I need…” Yuuri paused, stuttering out uncertainly.  Drawing a deep breath, he tried again.  “I need…you.”  He reached out his free hand and took Victor’s in his.  “I need you to take care of yourself.”

 

“I am, Yuuri.  I am fine,” he reassured his partner.

 

Yuuri tilted his head to one side, his expression soft.  “I want to believe this, Vitya.  But…I know that you try to be strong for me.  Now you are being strong for my family.  Who is strong for you, Vitya?”

 

Victor dropped his eyes.  He drew several deep breaths knowing they were coming more and more ragged.  “Y-yuuri…”

 

Yuuri pulled Victor into his embrace.  “You can cry for yourself, Vitya.  You can rage for yourself.  You don’t have to wait for me.  And…I will cry with you, rage with you as you have done for me.”

 

“H-how did you know?”

 

“When you denied help.  Sasaki-sensei asked if you were okay.  I knew you weren’t okay…you have done this before.”

 

“I have,” he agreed.  “I want to be what you need, Yuuri.”

 

“And you are…and so much more, Vitya.  But…what do you need?”  Yuuri slid the back of his fingers over Victor’s cheek as he watched him with a soft expression.

 

Victor held Yuuri’s eyes as he sought his words.  “I…need you…by my side.  I need to know…you are safe.  I need to be able to reach out and know I can find you.”

 

“When you woke up this morning, I was gone,” Yuuri pressed once more.

 

Victor looked up with surprise.  “I…was afraid.  How did you know?”

 

Yuuri pulled out his phone and showed the text message from Yuuko.  It was in Japanese but Victor didn’t need it to be translated.  He remembered that conversation.

 

“I…redirected the conversation.  I didn’t mean to reveal so much but I was caught up in the beauty of your skating.”

 

“Yuuko is safe…she is a friend you can trust but she won’t keep a secret if she thinks you are hurting.  She will try to get you the help you need.  Just like you would for me.”

 

“I…never suggested that it was a secret.”

 

“I know.  I’ve been trying to think how to bring it up.”

 

“I need to hold you,” Victor whispered.

 

Yuuri smiled and went into his arms.  “Any time,” he whispered.  “Any time.”

 

“We…don’t need a dance studio,” Victor suggested, resting his cheek against the top of Yuuri’s head.  “I just want to hold you close…while the music surrounds us.”  Yuuri reached into his pocket and switched on some soft[ music](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1_cKypaZPT4).  “Perfect,” Victor whispered, pulling Yuuri into his embrace.  They both sang the lyrics softly, holding each other close, swaying to the music in simplicity, in intimacy, and enjoying the flush of their bodies against one another.  “I love you,” Victor whispered.

 

“Mmmm,” murmured Yuuri.  “I love you, Vitya.”  Lifting up on his toes, he brushed his lips over his partner’s and then chuckled softly.  “We are quite the pair.  Always falling apart on one another.”

 

“I think it will take the two of us to hold us together.”

 

“That is enough, Vitya.  We are enough.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Comments, kudos, and shares are welcome and encouraged.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Therapy with Sasaki-sensei...and things start to steam up in the onsen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, all...sorry for all of the delays. What can I say? Real life interferes with all the good stuff. But I hope you like the presents I'm bringing to you. ;)
> 
> Thank you, BluSkates, for giving this a thorough look and making some brilliant suggestions. You make me better!

* * *

 

 

Thursday afternoon, they took the train into Fukuoka.  It would be a busy afternoon just taking care of their obligations.  Victor held Yuuri’s hand as they walked into Sasaki-sensei’s office.  She greeted them with a serene smile.  “How are you?”

 

“Much better,” Yuuri admitted while squeezing Victor’s hand encouragingly.

 

Victor dropped his head, chewing on his lip, before he forced out his words.  “I…may be struggling more than I was ready to admit last session.”

 

Sasaki-sensei nodded.  “I suspected you were but I can’t force you into therapy.  Do you have time for a short session after we finish Yuuri’s session?”

 

Victor nodded.  “We don’t have our meeting until seven and it isn’t far from here.”

 

“Good.  If you will wait outside, I’ll work with Yuuri first.  Then we can talk.”  She watched Victor leave the room before guiding Yuuri to the sitting area. “So talk to me, Yuuri.  Is there anything new we need to address before we work through your phases?”

 

“No…I think I’m ready to move forward once more.”

 

“Good.  Let’s do a check on where you were.  If you will recall, this is Phase 8.”  She pulled out her notes and began repeating the positive results of the previous sessions during the Reevaluation phase and making sure they were being maintained before moving forward.  It was a slow session but there were only slight signs of regression and Yuuri was back on track as they wrapped up an hour and a half later.

 

As Yuuri stepped back out into the waiting area, he smiled reassuringly towards Victor.  Victor stood and met him halfway across the floor.   Yuuri leaned into his space.  “I’m glad you are getting the help you need, Vitya,” he murmured before letting him go and taking his seat.

  


Victor shifted uncomfortably at first until he noticed Sasaki drawing her legs up beneath her.  “I hope you don’t mind.  It’s been a long day,” she explained casually.

 

“No.  Not at all,” Victor responded, her casual behavior putting him at ease.

 

“So tell me, Victor.  What’s going on?”

 

Victor shrugged, offering a half smile.  “It’s not big things.  Nothing like Yuuri but…worrying about Yuuri and his safety, watching over him, processing and problem solving with his anxiety and PTSD, making sure he feels secure.  I…sometimes am running on empty.”

 

“That is a lot to process,” she agreed.  “I don’t hear what you are doing for yourself.”

 

“I know.  That’s…I tend to put other people before myself.  I mean, I am very competitive.  With Yuuri, though, I’m all in.  I’d walk away from everything else in a heartbeat if necessary.”

 

“But is that healthy?”

 

“Yuuri would say that it isn’t,” Victor murmured.  “I don’t know…how do I love him in any other way?”

 

“What would Yuuri say to that statement?”

 

Victor looked down at the hands folded in his lap.  “He would say…that I need to take care of myself.  That he needs me to take care of myself.”

 

“It’s a good point,” she commented, steepling her fingers in front of her lips.  “Besides, how can you take care of him without taking care of yourself?”

 

“It would be…difficult...over time,” he confessed, shifting in his chair.

 

“Have you considered giving yourself a set period of time to self-assess and see to your own needs?” she suggested.  “Perhaps meditate or journal, something that is self-caring beyond basic needs.”

 

“I…haven’t really thought about it,” he replied honestly.  “I focus on what I need to do for Yuuri.  I mean, I skate but even that time is intermingled with Yuuri.  My themes are wound around Yuuri and our relationship.”

 

“According to Dr. Bishop’s notes, unless something else occurs, your therapy in the EMDR program is complete.  However, I am concerned about these codependent tendencies.  They can be very straining on a relationship and unhealthy.”

 

Victor’s eyes widened with surprise.  “Codependent?”

 

“You are too reliant on your partner,” Sasaki pointed out.

 

“I…respect Yuuri’s need for independence.”

 

“Do you respect your own?”

 

“I’ve always taken care of myself,” he defended.

 

“What changed?”

 

Victor shifted, saying quietly, “Yuuri changed.  But…before Yuuri, I was incomplete.  There was an emptiness inside me.”

 

“That…emptiness…this could be depression,” she provided.

 

Victor nodded.  “It’s been suggested but most never picked up on it because…I’m very good at putting on a happy face.”

 

“Do you force cheerfulness with Yuuri as well?”

 

Victor thinned his lips.  “Not…cheerfulness.  He could see through that anyway.  More of a sense of normalcy even when things aren’t normal.  I try to stabilize what is happening.”

 

“So you find yourself putting out a lot of fires.”

 

“Yes.  Exactly.”

 

“That can be exhausting.  Sometimes we have to take a moment and accept the rising tide that we are facing.  Also, do you involve others?”

 

“This last time I talked with friends and finally, Yuuri’s family.  But, it was because it was necessary to ensure Yuuri’s safety and another friend was threatened as well.”

 

“And other times?”

 

“I was getting better at it in Detroit because I fell into Yuuri’s support network.  They also watched over me.  Here…I started to take up the role of ‘the strong one’ once more.”

 

“Do you feel like you have less support now?”

 

“I don’t want to let anyone down.  Yuuri is important to them.  If…I don’t take care of Yuuri, they might try to push me out of his life.”

 

“Do you really see this as a danger?”

 

Victor considered his words then slowly shook his head.  “At first maybe.  But not now.  I think at first I felt the need to prove myself and I found myself stuck in the pattern.”

 

She smiled reassuringly.  “Recognizing that is good.  I’m going to give you some strategies.  Some of these have already been suggested.  First of all, you need to pick some activities that are for you alone.  Reading a book, journaling, meditating, taking a walk while listening to some of your favorite music.  I want you to make a point to do something that nurtures you.  This doesn’t mean you can’t do romantic and relationship building activities with Yuuri.  It just means you take some time to focus on you.

 

“Second, and this can be done in a journal, I want you to really think about what revives you, what makes you come alive.  You probably know a few off the top of your head.  Then add a second list of things that you might like to explore to encourage new growth.

 

“Third, take time to enjoy your partner with playful and relaxing activities.  It seems most of your time is focused on what might go wrong.  If we shift this focus then you can start letting go a little.  This is probably already being addressed by your other therapist but I’m going to reiterate it here.  It’s not just about meeting the needs when things go in crisis.  It’s about building the framework of mutual support along the way.”

 

Victor considered her words thoughtfully.  “This…is possible.  It doesn’t seem complicated.”

 

“It’s not difficult.  Sometimes we just need to be reminded how to care for ourselves.  Sometimes it’s just a matter of breaking old habits.”  She handed him a pamphlet.  “This will give you suggestions that expands on my own.  Journal for certain.  Then bring that journal in next week.”

 

“Next week?”

 

She chuckled softly.  “Did you think this was going to be fixed in one session?”

 

“I suppose…not,” he admitted.

 

“I’ll put you on the same day as Yuuri’s next session.  He said you are going out of town next Tuesday.”

 

“We are flying to France for a photo shoot.”

 

“Well, don’t make it all business.  Mix in some pleasure.”

 

Victor smiled.  “We will.  Thank you.”

 

“I have you scheduled right after Yuuri’s session.   Does that work for you?”

 

“Yes.  I’ll be here anyway.”

 

“Good.  We’ll talk then.  Make sure you do your homework.”

 

“I will, thank you.”

 

* * *

 

Victor and Yuuri grabbed a quick dinner before the meeting, enjoying ramen and talking about skating, the upcoming ice show, and the trip to Paris. There seemed to be an unspoken agreement not to talk about their sessions until later and even then only as far as they wanted to share.

 

When they arrived at the reception, Yuuri remained close to Victor in case any language barriers existed.  Furthermore, Victor was not certain how to navigate through the Japanese etiquette.  Yuuri smoothed the way whenever Victor inadvertently crossed a line although he had toned himself down quite a bit as he does for the press and other sponsor events.

 

Yuuri met with the Mizuno representative and they confirmed the photoshoot at the end of July.  Victor negotiated with two more sponsors on Yuuri’s behalf and that combined with the ad shoot in Paris would provide generous income for the upcoming season.

 

When talking with the coaches, Victor discussed how they were hosting an ice show to support an area rink in Hasetsu.  Several of the men’s figure skating coaches were interested because it would be connected with Katsuki Yuuri.  By the time they left, they had several skaters lined up for the show and a few more planning to contact them by the end of the week after they checked their availability.  Overall, Victor considered it successful and they headed home to soak in the onsen and relax, cuddled up to each other.

 

* * *

 

[[ Deeper ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7SKRfBst-rY)]

 

Yuuri joined Victor in the onsen a few minutes behind Victor.  Mari was trying to talk him into working for her this weekend but Yuuri declined given the packed schedule he had coming up.  Therapy on Friday, the ice show on Saturday, therapy on Monday, and they would fly out on Tuesday meant that Sunday was the only day he had to recover from all of the socializing and he would need some alone time.  She relented and he slipped into the onsen shaking his head.

 

“I love my family but I think sometimes they’ve forgotten how I need quiet time.”

 

Victor smiled as he listened to Yuuri explain Mari’s demands.  “I’m glad you turned her down.  I want you to rest that day.”

 

“I was planning to run through each of my programs once and call it a day.”

 

“I planned pretty much the same.  We’ll need to pack and prepare for our trip.”

 

“Paris.  I’m…getting a little excited.”

 

Victor pulled Yuuri into his embrace settling the younger man in front of him.  Yuuri leaned back onto Victor’s chest, closing his eyes.  “I am as well.”  He could feel Yuuri’s muscles relax against him as Victor rested an arm around his waist.

 

“Sasaki-sensei says I’m back on track with my therapy,” Yuuri finally murmured.

 

“Good.  I was given homework.  I’m supposed to make sure I take time for myself among other things.”

 

“That’s a good thing.  I do that, Vitya.”

 

“I know…I don’t think I realized how much I was losing myself in you, Yuuri, until I talked with Sasaki-sensei.  Thank you for pushing me to get help.”

 

“You take care of me.  I take care of you.  That’s how this works.”

 

“Taking care of you comes easily to me.  I seem to have forgotten how to care for myself.”

 

“What did you do before I came along?”

 

“I…skated.  I think this began a while before you came along.  You’ve been a light at the end of the tunnel.”

 

Yuuri was silent for a bit processing Victor’s confession.  “I didn’t realize…how deep your depression went,” he finally whispered.

 

“That’s because I’ve become a pro at covering it up.  You, however, see through my shit.  I think I need that.”

 

“Well, you call me on mine.  It’s good to be accountable to someone.  In Detroit, I had Phichit.”

 

“I had…Chris.  But he wasn’t with me often enough for it to count.  My coach sometimes picked up on it but often he just saw me obsessively pushing for jumps.”

 

“You won’t let me do that,” Yuuri pointed out.

 

Victor chuckled.  “Well, it’s not that I don’t _know_ better.”

 

Yuuri turned in his arms to face him, slipping his arms around his neck.  “I want you to be healthy.  We should bring out the best in one another.”

 

“I think…we do.  It’s just not a quick fix.  It takes time to break bad habits.”

 

Yuuri nodded.  “So…what are you going to do for yourself?”

 

“I have a whole pamphlet,” he responded.  “But I have to journal.  I think I might start taking a walk with Makka and find a quiet place on the beach.”

 

“As long as that’s just a start…we tend to do that together, also.”

 

Victor nodded in agreement.  “I could…read a book.  Or…take a yoga class.”

 

“I like taking dance classes.  It’s something I have always done for myself.”

 

Victor chuckled.  “Well, your major is in dance,” he pointed out.

 

Yuuri blushed a little and shrugged.  “Do what you love and you never work a day in your life.”  

 

Victor’s eyes darkened and Yuuri’s cheeks went scarlet.  “Vitya!” he warned.

 

“I’m just saying…I’m not opposed to your suggestion,” he teased sliding a hand over Yuuri’s ass suggestively.  “I would love to do the one I love.”

 

“The point is deciding what you love outside of me, Vitya!” Yuuri squeaked.

 

Victor grinned.  Yuuri raised an eyebrow in response.  Pulling Yuuri into his arms, Victor purred, “But I’m pretty sure I’d be happy inside you just as much.”

 

Yuuri’s lips parted, as he blushed, pulling back from his embrace, suddenly vulnerable.  Victor realized he made a mistake and pushed through his thoughts to try to rectify it.   _Back to the original topic._  “Well, part of my homework is to figure out what I really enjoy…beyond skating and you.”

 

Yuuri, however, didn’t let it go.  “It doesn’t mean we can’t do…the other.  I want to...but...I’m not sure I can,” Yuuri murmured.  “I just want us to have…more.”

 

“More is good,” Victor murmured, not certain where Yuuri was going to take it.

 

“We should leave the hot springs, now,” Yuuri suggested, his eyes taking on a determined edge. Standing, he held his hand out to his lover.

 

Victor swallowed as Yuuri cleared the water, his nudity on display.  Yuuri never hid away his nakedness from him behind his shyness anymore.  Even now, he was completely comfortable in Victor’s presence.  They belonged to one another even though there were certain thresholds they hadn’t crossed.  Victor took Yuuri’s hand and stood, surprised his legs were shaky at first.  Yuuri watched him steady himself, moving forward.  “Are you okay?” he asked.

 

Victor nodded, not trusting his voice.  Honestly, he was afraid but he let Yuuri take control of the situation.  Victor followed him into the shower room where they each grabbed a robe and slipped out to their room, the rest of the inn still and darkened with the late hour.

 

Yuuri let the yukata slip off his shoulder as they entered their room.  Victor stood still frozen, uncertain. “Vitya?”  Yuuri reached out and tugged on the knot that held Victor’s robe together.  Yuuri stepped closer to Victor as he pushed the yukata off of his shoulders.

 

Reaching for Yuuri, he breathed, “ _Solnyshko,”_ before crushing his lips against Yuuri’s.

 

Yuuri stepped back with a smirk and plugged his phone into the speakers.  Soon[ music](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8nyeIXR87c4) filtered into the space.  “Dance with me, Vitya.”   _Damn_ .  Yuuri did a sexy turn with a seductive swing to his hips.   And as the music teased, he felt Yuuri’s hand tease down Victor’s arms.   _Shit_ !  Yuuri slipped around behind him in a turn then Victor felt those elusive hands reaching in and touching him only to flutter away.  Victor was breathless, holding his frame, catching Yuuri as needed with sharp movements.   _God, he was hot!_  Yuuri moved in and out of his space twisting to reach teasingly towards him, sliding fingers down the side of his face.

 

Then Victor’s eyes widened in surprise as those fingers reached down and teased up his member.  He gasped as those fingers teased over the head before fluttering up his body.  Turning around him, Victor felt Yuuri’s body pressed against him from behind, those fingers fluttering around his waist teasing up his torso to give a sharp twist to Victor’s nipple.  Victor took a sharp intake of breath.  Then Yuuri was in front of him.   The music ended sharply and Yuuri’s hand slid behind Victor’s neck pulling him into a kiss, Victor opening to him already breathless due to Yuuri’s dance.

 

The playlist slipped onto another [ song ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1tapXqxzZuo)as Yuuri led him back to the bed.  Victor dropped down as his knees hit the edge.  He reached for Yuuri’s hips and pulled him to his mouth, sliding his tongue down Yuuri’s length.  He heard Yuuri’s breath hitch; felt the rise of Yuuri’s gasps as Victor’s hands slid up around that muscular back.  Yuuri’s hands carded through Victor’s hair settling at the loose strands at the base of his neck.  Victor kissed his way back up the length and payed particular attention to the head, exploring with his tongue, teasing the slit, before taking the tip into his mouth.

 

He was rewarded with a Yuuri moaning “Vitya” softly and Victor knew he was trying to keep quiet for his parents’ sake.   _That wouldn’t do_ , he smirked.  He lifted his eyes to see Yuuri’s half-closed eyes before swallowing him.  That moan would be well heard but he soon became lost in pleasuring his lover, teasing and tormenting with that tongue, those lips.  He could feel Yuuri shuddering in his arms, his knees giving out.  Victor pulled off of him and guided him onto the bed.  “Scoot back,” he directed before once more settling between his lover’s legs.

 

He was happily licking and sucking when he felt fingers reaching for him, pulling him up.  He rose up on his knees and slid up Yuuri’s body.  The brunette sought his lips in a kiss.  “I want to feel your pleasure with mine,” Yuuri murmured as his kisses trailed back to Victor’s ear.  “I can’t...not the other yet, but…”  Yuuri seemed to struggle with words so he let his motions speak for him.  He reached down and lined their shafts together, stroking them both in tandem.  

 

Victor’s lips parted as he realized what Yuuri wanted.  “One moment,” he whispered raggedly,  reaching over into the drawer and pulled out the lube.  Adding the slickness to his hand, he ran his hand over Yuuri’s sharing the warmth of the oil before lining their bodies up together once more, their hardened lengths sliding along one another.  

 

“Together,” Victor whispered, as he pulled their members together.  Yuuri slid his hand over the top of Victor and together they found a rhythm that gave them the desired friction even as Yuuri sought his lips for the desired intimacy.

 

“Vitya,” he murmured into Victor’s lips, a desperate edge touching that one word,  Victor answered with echoes of “Yuuri” lost in the touch of their hands, the presence of his Yuuri.  Lips ghosted around each of their faces as they explored the surface, catching each other’s mouths hungrily.  Then Yuuri’s lips tucked in close to Victor’s neck and he could feel the warmth of Yuuri’s breath, could hear the quickening of his breathing, the tensing of his muscles telling Victor he was getting close.  Pressing his cheek against Yuuri’s forehead, he focused on the feeling of both hands sliding over their members mutually.  And then he heard Yuuri’s breathing hitch as his body tensed up in his release, the pleasure of his partner sending Victor over the edge.

 

Victor held Yuuri close as their breathing settled, as they come off the high of their orgasm.  Finally, Yuuri pushed him back, wrinkling his nose at the mess.  Victor chuckled in response.  “Sex should always be messy,” he stated with a grin.

 

“Then I guess…mission accomplished,” Yuuri smirked.  He took the wet wipes Victor tossed in his direction and cleaned up before crawling out of bed.  “We are going to have to change these sheets.”

 

Victor was already moving towards the closet where they had another set stashed.  Yuuri pulled the sheets off and soon Victor had a clean sheet spread across the bed as they worked together to tuck the corners.  Victor situated the pillows and settled into the middle.  Yuuri joined him with his phone and earbuds.  They pulled the blankets over them and Yuuri stretched across Victor’s chest, handing the second earbud up to Victor.  They fell asleep listening to music playing in the background as they wrapped around one another.

 

 

* * *

 

NOTES:  It’s really easy to fall into codependent tendencies especially after encountering a traumatic event that forces that dependence on one another.  It is important that we remember to take care of ourselves along the way.  Here is a self-care[ guide](http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/self-care-enhance-relationship/) to help combat those tendencies.  Here is another [ resource](https://psychcentral.com/lib/symptoms-of-codependency/).

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A few links above.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Important discussions both in and out of the therapist’s office.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, BluSkates for your edits and suggestions!

* * *

 

Victor reached for Yuuri as he woke up the next morning.  Yuuri’s stiffness brought Victor the rest of the way out of his sleep.  Sitting up, he pulled Yuuri into his lap.  “What’s wrong, _lyubov moya_?”

 

Yuuri shrugged, shifting uncomfortably with a frown on his face.  Victor could see the thoughts shooting through Yuuri’s mind as those brown eyes were so expressive.

 

“Talk to me, Yuuri.  Don’t get lost in your head.”

 

Yuuri began, his voice halting as he pushed the words out with uncertainty.  “I just…I don’t want you to have to settle for less because I can’t do this…thing.”

 

Victor tightened his hold on Yuuri.  “Nothing is ever less with you, my Yuuri.”

 

“What if I never…” Yuuri trailed off, dropping his eyes, pulling at his fingers.  Victor had noticed that nervous reaction in the past.  It was a sure sign that Yuuri’s anxiety was tormenting his thoughts.

 

Leaning forward, he brushed a kiss on Yuuri’s cheek as he decided the approach he would take.  Finally, he opted to lay his cards out on the table.  “First of all, I don’t believe it will be never.  However, if it is never then that’s alright; have you not seen how many other ways we can love one another?  I love creatively exploring you with my touch and my mouth.”  Then Victor took a deep breath.  “You don’t have to receive, Yuuri.”

 

Yuuri looked up at him, surprised and uncertain.  “I don’t have to…receive,” he whispered as if those words were being digested in his thoughts.  Yuuri said nothing else but pulled out of Victor’s embrace.  Victor watched the other man gather his clothes for the shower.  He couldn’t help but wonder if he made it worse. 

 

* * *

 

 

Their appointment wasn’t until the afternoon and Yuuri insisted that he needed to skate.  They took off in a jog towards the rink, Victor’s eyes settling on Yuuri’s back as he kept a couple of paces ahead of Victor.  Although Victor wanted to pull him into his arms and offer more reassurances, he knew instinctively Yuuri needed that degree of separation.  Victor gave him the necessary space, knowing Yuuri would come back to him in time.

 

They arrived at the rink and Victor watched Yuuri tie on his skates like he was on a mission.  Yuuri still operated in silence as he crossed the barrier and pushed off onto the ice.  He felt Yuuko’s hand on his shoulder before he saw her.  “What’s going on with Yuuri?” she asked.

 

“He’s all up in his head,” Victor stated as if it wasn’t obvious.

 

Yuuko raised an eyebrow.  “What set him off?”

 

“I-it is private,” Victor stated.  Yuuko may be Yuuri’s friend but he was certain Yuuri wouldn’t want Victor discussing their sex life with her.

 

Yuuko nodded thoughtfully.  “He’s processing something…I see that look of determination.  I don’t think it is necessarily anxiety…not in a way that’s tearing him down.”

 

Victor agreed, watching his lover go through figures while he worked through what is in his head.  “Perhaps…I’ll wait.  He will give me an opening when he is ready.”

 

“Okay…if you need to come back tonight, we close up at eight.  The place will be empty.”

 

Victor looked up thankful.  “We’ll see where he’s at after we go to therapy.  Thanks.”

 

“No problem.”  She stood up and walked back to the lobby.

 

Victor finished tying off his skates and entered the rink.  He started skating slow circles, watching Yuuri warm up.  Yuuri finally came to a stop in front of him.  “I’m skating _Eros_.”  Victor just nodded, watching Yuuri pull away.  Moving around to where the speakers were set up to receive their phones, he cued up the song.  Yuuri found his position and looked towards Victor expectantly.  Victor started the music and watched Yuuri slip into the persona.

 

There was an intensity to this skate as if Yuuri was struggling to find words both with his voice and his skates.  Victor watched with interest as Yuuri never stumbled about his skate-words unless his mind was locked up, usually with anxiety.  The skate was relatively clean from an objective standpoint.  He touched down a few times but that’s to be expected when Yuuri is caught up in his head.  What struck Victor was that the story Yuuri skated held an air of desperation.  The person Yuuri personified seemed to push everyone away, not letting anyone near them.   Then Victor’s eyes widened.  Yuuri was not struggling to communicate the story.  He was trying to communicate with Victor.  He was asking for space.

 

“Yuuuuri!” Victor called to him as Yuuri concluded his skate.  The younger man skated to his side.  Victor put his hands on both shoulders.  “I’m sorry,” he murmured.  “I was trying to help…and I think I said the wrong thing.”

 

Yuuri blinked, processing those words before shaking his head slowly.  “No…you didn’t.  I’m just…having trouble catching up.  Can we talk about this with Hashimoto?”

 

“Yes,” Victor replied, relieved.  “I…thought I messed up.”

 

“No.  I’m just…I hadn’t thought about that…from the other perspective.  I…will mess up.”

 

Victor pulled Yuuri into his embrace.  A light chuckle slipped out as he held him close.  “You can’t mess up, Yuuri.  I’ll guide you through the important parts and the rest…is like everything else.  You and I are just learning our bodies.”

 

“I-I’m afraid…I don’t have any experience to reference.”

 

“How many things have we done that you haven’t experienced?”

 

“It’s just…it hurt,” Yuuri whispered, and then Victor saw the tears and knew he was remembering the rape.  Victor held onto him, his hands comforting him with slow circles on Yuuri’s back.  Yuuri finally pushed back, brushing away the tears harshly.  “I don’t want to…hurt you.”

 

“We’ll go slow…and use lubricant.  I’ll show you how to open me up.  Do you trust me?”

 

Yuuri nodded but added, “I want you to be able to trust me.”

 

Victor smiled tenderly.  “I do trust you.  Offering myself to you like this is trust.”

 

“But you’ve done this.”  Yuuri chewed his lip uncertainly.

 

Victor shook his head.  “No…I haven’t.  I know how it is from a top’s perspective.  I haven’t bottomed.  I…haven’t had that level of trust.”

 

“I-I’m still adjusting my thoughts around it.  Can you give me more time?”

 

Victor kissed the top of Yuuri’s head.  “All the time you need, my love.”  Yuuri rested his head on Victor’s shoulder as Victor continued to comfort him before guiding him to the exit.  They needed to shower before taking the train into Fukuoka.

  


Yuuri peeled off his practice clothes and shoved them in his bag.  They were leaving their extra gear in the locker room until they returned but Yuuri wanted to make it quick to grab.  Stepping into the shower, he felt the hot water hit his skin with a sigh of relief.  He started with a squeal when the curtain was pushed aside.  Victor stepped into the tiny space with him as Yuuri stared at him with wide eyes.  “V-v-victor?”

 

“Yuuri, please let me take care of you,” he murmured.

 

Yuuri’s eyes widened and he nodded speechlessly.  Victor pulled Yuuri into his arms and kissed him soundly, his fingers massaging into his back.  When the kiss broke, Yuuri’s eyes opened, his fingers came up and traced around the curve of Victor’s jaw.  Victor dipped Yuuri’s head back under the flowing water, his fingers slipping through the brunette’s hair making sure the strands were thoroughly wet.  He reached for the shampoo as he lathered it on Yuuri’s scalp.  And as Yuuri tilted his head back to rinse it from his hair, Victor could not resist that elongated column as he trailed kisses from chin to collarbone.

 

“My beautiful Yuuri,” he murmured.

 

Yuuri smelled the floral vanilla scent of the body wash as he felt Victor’s hands slide over his skin forming white tracks from the soap suds.  Victor’s touch dug just deep enough to have a massaging quality, light enough to be comforting.  He avoided Yuuri’s sex and moved down to Yuuri’s leg although Yuuri felt those lips brush a kiss on one hipbone then the next.  Yuuri’s hands tangled into Victor’s hair then released, sliding through the shower slickened surface.  “Vitya,” he whispered.

 

Then Victor stood before him, his eyes tender as he brushed more kisses over Yuuri’s lips, his hands efficiently washing the more intimate areas. Yuuri knew he was half hard in Victor’s touch but he was lost in the gentle love of the moment.  As Victor released that kiss, he stepped back and used his hands to guide the water flowing from the shower and rinse him off.

“I love you,” Victor whispered.

 

Yuuri slid his hands around Victor’s neck, pulling him in a kiss as he turned the taller man under the water flow.  “And I love you,” Yuuri returned, fluttering a brush of lips along Victor’s chin.  Reaching for the shampoo, Yuuri massaged it gently into Victor’s scalp.  “Let’s make sure you’re presentable as well,” he murmured.  Yuuri’s fingers directed the flow as he slid his fingers through Victor’s hair, watching the water fall backwards.  He followed with conditioner leaving it to set in Victor’s hair.

 

The body wash helped Yuuri appreciate the slick surface of Victor’s skin.  Mimicking the massaging movements of his lover, he slid his hands over Victor’s shoulders and down his back.  Victor hitched his breath as he felt Yuuri’s lips on his shoulder.  “So beautiful,” Yuuri whispered.  His fingers spread the soap down Victor’s hips and legs, brushing a kiss over Victor’s tailbone.   He felt Victor shift, glancing up to see that he leaned his hands against the wall of the shower for support.  Yuuri slid his hands up Victor’s inner thigh.

 

“Yuuri,” Victor responded, elongating the u’s, reaching down to grab his lover’s hand and pull him up in front of him.  His lips found Yuuri’s as he slipped his arms around Yuuri’s shoulders.  Yuuri’s fingers played with Victor’s hipbones as he enjoyed the series of short kisses brushing across his.

 

“We’re going to miss the train,” Yuuri warned teasingly as he pulled away from that kiss.  A gruff sound slipped from Victor in response, reluctant to let Yuuri go.  Yuuri guided the water to rinse Victor’s body more efficiently.  Then he rinsed the conditioner from his lover’s hair, smoothing his fingers through the strands.  He lifted up on his tiptoes to brush his lips over Victor’s forehead.  “I love you,” he murmured.

 

Victor fumbled as he reached behind him for the taps, turning off the water.  Yuuri gathered their supplies and slipped them outside the shower to put up later.  He then felt a towel sliding over his body deftly drying up the drops of water that clung to his skin.  Turning, he saw that Victor already had a towel wrapped around his waist.  He winked and guided Yuuri over to the bench where they laid out the clothes they were changing into.  They each took care of their dressing, silent and thoughtful.

 

Victor reached for the comb and Yuuri felt the teeth slide through his hair.  Yuuri gasped and closed his eyes, enjoying the feel of Victor’s care.  He opened his eyes as Victor added product.  Once Victor was satisfied, he released him turning to his own haircare as Yuuri watched on, picking up their belongings to store in their lockers, gathering the towels to drop in the hamper.  Satisfied with their appearance and the state they left the locker room, they headed out with Victor’s arm draped around Yuuri’s shoulder and Yuuri’s arm resting around his waist.  Victor waved casually to Takeshi and Yuuko as they left.  

 

* * *

  


Hashimoto guided them into room where they took their familiar seats.  “So tell me what has developed over the last week.”

 

Victor shifted, dropping his eyes.  “It’s been brought to my attention that I’m displaying some codependent tendencies.  I’m working on some strategies to spend some time with myself.”

 

“Maintaining a sense of self is as important as finding what works for the two of you as a couple.  How about you, Yuuri?  Do you take time for yourself?”

 

“It was easier in Detroit, to be honest.  There, I would go to the studio and dance.  Here, it seems like our time is so intermingled.  And I enjoy it but sometimes…I find myself getting up earlier than normal to grab a few moments to myself.  I’ll run to the rink and skate on the ice in the quiet solitude of early morning.  I need time to myself to reset my thoughts.”

 

“So personal space is an issue for you, Yuuri.  Tell me, Victor, what is going on that you hold your partner so closely?”

 

“I…think it began as a part of protectiveness.  I wanted to make sure he was safe.  However…before Yuuri, I was very lonely.  My existence was either at the rink or alone in my apartment.  I didn’t realize the extent of my loneliness until I had Yuuri.  Life became so full.  I…find myself clinging to it afraid it will disappear.”

 

“Do you recognize Yuuri’s need for personal space?”

 

“Yes.  I have encouraged his independence and supported it even though it made me uncomfortable.”

 

“Let’s talk about that.  Why are you uncomfortable in this?”

 

“Part of it is tied to the attack and subsequent events.  I worry that if I let him out of my sight, he will be hurt by someone.  I know this is somewhat irrational but then again, it has been reinforced by events.  Yuuri got away from me at the banquet then I received the text from him for help.  That’s when I found him…the night of the…r-rape.”  Victor drew a ragged breath and he felt a hand on his back massaging circles.  Glancing up he offered a weak smile towards Yuuri in thanks.  “Then, I finally connected with him after we parted only to learn he was in danger from someone in his apartment.  When I came to Detroit, that same person separated Yuuri at the rink and tried to…he was going to…”  Victor closed his eyes, the tears stinging.  “I got to him in time because Yuuri found his voice, I heard him calling me.”   

 

Victor reached for Yuuri, needing to feel him in his arms, worrying that his words were hurting his partner.  Yuuri’s expression was pensive as he crawled into Victor’s embrace, settling in Victor's lap.  Victor continued, Yuuri now secure in his arms.  “Then at the World’s, the original attackers threatened Yuuri when I was separated from him by press…and because I took some time to reset my thoughts.”

 

Hashimoto studied the man thoughtfully.  “Your clinginess is a response to traumatic events.  What kind of therapy have you sought for this?”

 

“I also went through EMDR therapy while in Detroit.  It helped…with the nightmares.  I still find myself hypervigilant in crowds.  I put Yuuri by the window on the train because it feels safer to have him between myself and a wall.  I…panic when I wake up and find Yuuri gone.”

 

Hashimoto shifted his gaze to the younger man.  “Yuuri, were you aware of this panic?”

 

“Yes…once he told me.  Now if I go to the rink early, I will wake him and tell him I am going and text to let him know I arrived.  That is also why I suggested he talk to Sasaki-sensei about it,” Yuuri confirmed, outlining his strategy.  “I understand the root of the overprotectiveness.  That…isn’t an issue.  I have accepted that Victor needs these things.  I know why.  I just…want him to resume some of his former interests.  Perhaps he lost sight of those interests before I came along.  I only recently learned that he was struggling with depression before meeting me.  I want him to be healthy.  I want us to be healthy.”

 

Turning back to Victor, Hashimoto urged him to respond.  “Victor, how do you feel about this?”

 

Victor drew in a deep breath and released it.  “I want to be healthy, too.  I can’t take care of Yuuri if I don’t take care of myself.  I just…seem to have forgotten how to do that.  Sasaki has given me a number of strategies including journaling and has told me to make a list of what I’m interested in as well as some things new I’d like to try.  So…I’m working on it?”  He finished with a shrug.

 

“And do you agree with Yuuri’s approach to your panic?”

 

“Y-yes.  It’s a compromise I think I can live with.”

 

Yuuri turned to look at him, tugging his shirt.  Victor met his eyes before Yuuri started talking.  “If that strategy is not working for you, I need you to tell me.  I can’t fix something if you don’t communicate with me.  If I am doing something you can’t work with, talk to me.”

 

Hashimoto nodded in agreement.  “Overall, communication needs to take place.  It sounds like you are very good about figuring out what Yuuri needs…but do not communicate your needs as well.”

 

“I suppose I don’t.  I’m not always sure what that is, though.”

 

“Journaling will help.  Sometimes our minds become too crowded and just putting it on paper helps us to organize those thoughts.”

 

Victor nodded.  “I’ve seen Yuuri do this.  Sometimes curling up and writing a few pages before coming to talk to me.”

 

Yuuri nodded in agreement.

 

Hashimoto shifted the conversation a little.  “We’ve talked about communication and personal time.  How about intimacy?”

 

“That’s been improving,” Victor stated with a smile, brushing his eyes over Yuuri.

 

Yuuri blushed but then turned to Hashimoto.  “I am worried…that I won’t be able to…I mean we do other things but we’ve never…” Yuuri trailed off and looked up to Victor for help.  He felt Victor’s arms tighten around him.

 

“Yuuri’s concern is that we haven’t...well, fucked,” Victor supplied with an awkward shrug.  Yuuri gasped and hid his face in Victor’s shirt.  Victor chuckled softly, running his hands down Yuuri’s back.  “I don’t mind waiting, baby, until you are ready.”

 

Yuuri looked up at him.  “What if I’m never ready?  What if they took that from me?”

 

Victor brushed a kiss across his nose.  “You will be if that’s something you want.”

 

Hashimoto nodded.  “And that’s a good point.  Not everyone in the gay community is interested in anal sex.  If you are, that’s fine, too.  I agree with Victor that you will be ready when it’s time.”

 

Yuuri studied his hands in his lap, playing with and pulling at his fingers nervously.  He felt Victor’s reassuring hand slide up and down his back.  Victor was well aware of Yuuri’s habit of fidgeting when he was working up the nerve to do or say something.  “V-victor says I d-don’t have to receive.”

 

“That’s an important point, too,” Hashimoto agreed.  “Some prefer to top, some to bottom, some like both, and some can go either way.”

 

“I-I don’t know what I like,” Yuuri stated, his voice soft, his eyes looking down at his hands.  Victor’s expression grew soft in response to Yuuri’s shyness, wrapping a protective arm around him.

 

Hashimoto smiled as well.  “You will in time.  Victor seems open to helping you work through it.”  He watched Yuuri nod in response though still partially hidden in Victor’s embrace.  “Having a partner willing to work with you while you establish your preferences is a good thing.  You both just have to be aware of the other’s responses.”

 

Yuuri turned to look at Hashimoto.  “What if…what if I freak out?”

 

“I won’t lie.  You might freak out the first time…maybe even the second…however, in time you will grow comfortable with your partner.  You might want to wait, though, until your EMDR therapy is finished.  That way you already have a clear established path to your responses to the trauma.”

 

Yuuri looked up at Victor.  “Can we wait…until I am through the EMDR therapy?”

 

Victor chuckled tenderly.  “I’ve said all along I’ll wait as long as you need.  It’s not like we don’t have intimacy, Yuuri.  I revel in what we do already.  We enjoy each other when we come together.  There is no pressure to hurry up and fuck.  I’m more invested in you than any single act.  Trust me.”

 

Yuuri nodded.  “I do.  I trust you, Vitya.”  Yuuri settled his head against Victor’s shoulder as he felt Victor’s soothing hand move against his back once more.

 

Hashimoto observed the lovers.  “We’ve clearly crossed a majority of the intimacy barriers.  And you both are addressing communication issues.  Will there be another session?”

 

Victor rested his cheek against Yuuri’s head closing his eyes.  “I think…let’s do one more session at least while I work through my codependency issues.  I may need your reinforcement of Sasaki’s guidance.  However, we will be in Paris still next Friday.  So can we meet in two weeks?”

 

Hashimoto pulled up his appointment app on his device.  “Same time?”

 

“That sounds great,” Victor answered.  “Yuuri?”  His partner nodded, reluctant to leave Victor’s arms.  “Put us down.  We’ll see you then.”

 

Once they disentangled, Victor guided Yuuri from the office.  “I must be becoming comfortable with Dr. Hashimoto,” Yuuri stated quietly.  “I can’t believe I sat in your lap in front of him.”

 

“It’s fine,” Victor reassured him.  “He’s probably used to such behavior.  That is his field of expertise.  Besides, it was first to comfort me.”

 

“I’m glad that…he’s a gay man.  I don’t think I could talk about…that…in front of a straight therapist.”

 

Victor chuckled.  “True.  Although, technically I did most of the talking.”

 

“I suppose…you said the hard part.  I’m sorry,” Yuuri answered, chewing on his lip.

 

Victor squeezed Yuuri’s hand.  “We are in this together.  I don’t mind helping you…with the language.”

 

Yuuri blushed but nodded, falling silent.

 

“I think I’d like to pick up something to read for the trip,” Victor suggested.

 

“You could download a book to your phone,” Yuuri pointed out.

 

Victor shook his head.  “Sometimes I just like the feel of a book in my hand, the smell of the pages as I turn from one typeset page to the next.”

 

“Well, I know one bookstore nearby that carries a number of English titles.  We can look there.  They also serve food so we can grab dinner.”

 

Victor grinned.  “Show the way!”

 

Entering the large bookstore, Victor’s eyes widened as he took in the[ atmosphere](https://www.yelp.com/biz/%E7%A6%8F%E5%B2%A1%E5%A4%A9%E7%8B%BC%E9%99%A2-%E7%A6%8F%E5%B2%A1%E5%B8%82-2).  He browsed through the books before settling on several titles.  Yuuri joined Victor with a few books in hand.  They checked out and went over to the café to order dinner, capping the meal off with coffee and a shared order of French toast.

 

Yuuri looked through Victor’s purchases as they discussed some of their favorite authors.  Yuuri was surprised that Victor had a weakness for mysteries.  Victor learned that Yuuri liked to read classics.  “I have a bookshelf filled with a mix of classics and popular fiction back in St. Petersburg,” Victor confessed.  “It fills one wall except for the opening for the television.”

 

Yuuri pointed out, “You haven’t read a whole lot since coming to my side, Vitya.”

 

“I suppose I really did lose myself in taking care of you even though you warned me countless times not to.  I think…this will be one of the things I do for myself.”

 

“Good.  And if you still need to be in the same room with me, it’s something you can still enjoy.”

 

Victor nodded.   “Yes.  I think…that’s a good compromise.  I really don’t like…being alone,” he confessed.  “I spent too much time alone.”

 

Yuuri reached across the table and squeezed his hand.  “You don’t have to be alone,” Yuuri murmured.  Victor smiled, releasing a slow breath in response.

 

They walked back to the station hand in hand with their books.   

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love to hear from you. Please leave comments, kudos, and shares!


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ice show in Fukuoka and a day of rest and emotions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So much going on and end of year stress! But I did squeeze out a chapter for you. Hope you like it. 
> 
> Comments are love!
> 
> Thank you, so much, BluSkates for going through this for me. :)

NOTE:  Sorry for the delay.  The muse really likes[ _All that Glitters is Not Gold_](http://archiveofourown.org/works/10763163/chapters/23869317).

* * *

  
  


On the way to Fukuoka and the ice show, Victor and Yuuri talked about anything but the nerves crawling up inside them.  They weren’t nervous about the skate program.  Yuuri would be skating to _Lost Boy_ and he could do that in his sleep.  However, this is the first public skating Yuuri has been involved in since Worlds and, with the threats that were made earlier, they were more than a little nervous about Yuuri’s attackers coming to Japan.  It wouldn’t be the first time they made an appearance in Yuuri’s home country, they had attacked a skater at Nationals.

 

They both kept reminding themselves that this was a small ice show.  Still, their nerves were on edge and Cocoa kept picking up on it, licking Yuuri's hand to get him to redirect his attention.  Their eyes, however, kept flitting over anyone who wasn’t Japanese.  Finally, Victor pulled Yuuri down into the area reserved for skaters.  “Relax.”

 

Yuuri glanced up at him with raised eyebrows.  “You are just as anxious as I am.”

 

Victor tightened his grasp on Yuuri’s upper arm.  “I know.  And I want us to remain in each other’s presence the entire time.  If we have to deal with reporters, we’ll deal with them together.”

 

* * *

  


Yuuri sat with Victor on the sidelines watching Hikaru Fujiwara skate his program.  “He’s not bad,” Victor commented, even as he tightened his arm around his own skater.  “It’s nice to watch the next generation.  I remember watching over Yura.”

 

“Kenjirou Minami is next,” Yuuri indicated, dropping his hand down to stroke Cocoa's fur.

 

Victor glanced towards Yuuri thoughtfully.  “Is that the one that was so excited to see you?”

 

“He was definitely excited,” Yuuri responded wryly.

 

Victor chuckled.  “I wonder if that’s how you would have responded if I met you at seventeen or eighteen at an ice show.”

 

“I probably would have fainted,” Yuuri admitted.  “I don’t think I would have had the courage to talk to you the night of the banquet if not for the alcohol.”

 

Victor leaned his cheek against Yuuri’s head.  “I’m glad you talked to me.  I wanted you to, but it seemed like I scared you away.  I…wasn’t sure how to approach you.”

 

“I was so shy back then.  I was afraid you wouldn’t want to be bothered by me.”

 

“Yuuri…” he hissed.

 

“I know now, Vitya.  But then, I would never have believed it.”  Yuuri turned to study Victor’s silhouette.  “Do you think…that we would have gotten together if…if _it_ hadn’t happened?”

 

Victor tightened his arms around Yuuri’s waist.  “I would have chased you down.  I was already thinking about retiring after the Worlds.  I wanted to look for you then, to beg you to let me be a part of your life.”

 

“After just a few dances?”

 

Victor chuckled.  “From the moment I laid eyes on you.”

 

“I was failing,” Yuuri squirmed, tightening his hold on Cocoa's leash.  Cocoa jumped up on his knee and Yuuri tangled his fingers into her brown fur.

 

Victor shook his head soberly.  “No…you weren’t having a good day on the ice but you finished.  You fell hard but you finished.  You skated off the ice with your head held high.  Then I later learn that you had lost your dog, that you skated with anxiety and sometimes you have really bad days.  It all makes sense now.  Then, however, I was struggling to reconcile the skater I watched on film and the one I was seeing on the ice.  You were a mystery and I wanted to unwrap you, to figure you out.  And honestly, I thought you were hot as hell.”  Victor turned towards him and winked.  “I still do.”

 

Blush rose up on Yuuri’s cheeks.  “I didn’t feel worthy of your attention,” Yuuri confessed.  “I still don’t…most of the time.”

 

“Then at least some of the time you feel worthy…and that’s progress.  I love you.  I can’t imagine a life without you now that I have you in it.”

 

Yuuri lowered his head thoughtfully.  “I feel the same.  It may be selfish but…I need you close to me and I’m not willing to give you up.   I’ll fight for you.”

 

“Good.  I want that.  Now, let’s move back to warm up.  Minami has finished skating.  You’ve fulfilled your promise.”

 

* * *

  


Yuuri started working through his stretches and running in place.  It was an easy program.  The jumps were purposefully kept at doubles with two triples.  It focused on artistry, on telling the story.

 

Yuuri looked up when he heard a squeal.  A blond head with a swath of red hair approached him.  “Did you see me?” Minami asked excitedly.

 

“Yes,” Yuuri answered, his smile encouraging.  “Victor and I both see promise in your skating.  We can’t wait to see you compete.”

 

Minami started to squeal once more.  Yuuri raised an eyebrow, reaching a hand over.  “Calm down, Minami-kun.”

 

Yuuri thought Minami was going to hyperventilate from his excitement and could feel his own alarm rising.  “Vitya?”

 

Victor turned from the coach who had captured his attention and smiled in his direction.  He turned to murmur something else to the coach, likely excuses before he left to come to Yuuri’s side.  Soon he stood next to his skater and the younger skater, transferring Cocoa's leash to Yuuri.   “Hello, my Yuuri.  This is the skater we were watching, _da_?”

 

Yuuri nodded.  “Kenjirou Minami.  Minami-kun, this is my, ummm,” Yuuri trailed off unsure how to address him to other people.

 

“Assistant coach?  Coach?  Boyfriend? Partner?” Victor teased.  “I’m not sure what you were going for there, Yuuri dear.”

 

Yuuri’s face blushed deeply.  Minami was almost ready to pass out once more.  Finding his voice, he finished the introduction.  “Victor is standing in as my coach as I transition from Celestino to Yakov.”

 

“You have been accepted by Coach Yakov Feltsman?” Minami asked in surprise.  “I thought he only worked with Russian skaters.”

 

“Yuuri is family,” Victor indicated as he wrapped his arms around his waist.  “That makes him Russian by extension.”

 

Minami passed out.  Yuuri panicked.  Victor observed curiously before stepping over to get his coach Kanako.  She chuckled.  “He is so excitable.  Thank you.  I’ve got it from here.”

 

Victor guided Yuuri to a quieter location while Yuuri worked on clearing his head from the drama.  Victor pulled Yuuri close.  “Listen to my heartbeat.  Let it ground you, Yuuri.”

 

When Yuuri’s breathing finally settled, he looked up to meat Victor’s eyes.  “How much longer?”

 

“We should probably queue up.  Are you ready?”

 

Yuuri nodded.  “Stay where I can see you,” he whispered, handing the leash back to Victor.

 

“I’ll stay close to the barrier in plain view until you come off the ice.”  Victor smiled reassuringly, sliding a finger down Yuuri's arm before dropping a hand to pet Cocoa.

 

Yuuri took a deep breath.  They stayed within reach of one another since arriving and Yuuri now found himself too nervous to let him go. _What if they were here?  What if they came after Victor?_ But Victor was encouraging him to go on the ice.  He…can’t let fear dictate his actions.  With another deep breath, he pushed off onto the ice.

 

The announcer’s voice filled the stadium as he moved into position.  “Katsuki Yuuri, the World bronze medalist and the Four-Continents silver medalist is skating to[ _Lost Boy_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PqIIttZTmUw) from last season’s exhibition skate.”

 

Yuuri closed his eyes and sought out that calm place that helped ground him.  Opening his eyes, he focused on Victor.  Then the music started and he danced through the story he associated with the song remembering how he had been once lost until Victor found him and took him away from his misery, his sorrow, chasing away the shadows in his life.  Victor became his light, his laughter, his love, his lifeline.  He knew he’d be drowning still in the nightmares if Victor hadn’t come to him.  His closed out his skate program, reaching towards Victor, projecting his love.

 

Yuuri was the finale for the show.  The skaters all came out afterwards and did the closing performance before exiting the rink.  Victor gathered Yuuri to his side and guided him to the dressing room.  He could tell Yuuri was tiring from all of the public.  He had received a couple of sponsor offers and several skaters and fans had been pursuing his attention all evening.  

 

“Come.  Let’s get ready to leave,” Victor stated quietly.  

  


* * *

  


Victor guided Yuuri towards the exit when three different coaches stopped him to discuss the ice show.  Yuuri tapped his arm and pointed towards an empty space nearby so that Victor could see him and talk to the coaches at the same time.  Yuuri was rummaging through his backpack with his skate bag by his feet when he felt someone’s presence.  He looked up to meet a pair of brilliant green eyes.

 

“M-may I help you?” he asked, startled and tightening on Cocoa's leash.

 

The woman flipped her hair and looked at him suggestively.  “I know you seem to prefer blonds.  I’ve seen your pictures.  This one and that little one.”

 

“Yura?  He’s a friend.  What are you…”  He trailed of startled as the woman’s hand went against his chest and moved down in a manner he was not okay with.  Yuuri’s eyes went wide as he stepped back.  “D-don’t touch me!”  Cocoa barked but Yuuri held onto her leash tightly.  

 

Her eyes widened but then she smiled.  It was supposed to be sultry but in Yuuri’s panicked frame of mind, it was anything but.  “Come now, Yuuri.  Your coach is occupied.  I’ll give you my number.  We can arrange to meet up.”

 

“I-I don’t see that happening,” Yuuri stuttered.  Then he felt a warm possessive arm slip around his waist.  He froze at first.  Looking up, he saw Victor glaring at the woman.

 

“I’m afraid you will have to keep that number,” Victor stated frostily.  “Although Yuuri doesn’t mind interacting with his fans, he does not make it a habit to leave with them.  I’m sure that you can understand.”

 

The woman started to argue but Victor was already moving Yuuri from the situation.  She had no choice but to back away.

 

“V-victor, I-I didn’t know…what to do.”

 

“You were fine, my Yuuri.  I should have been paying closer attention when she approached.  I just thought she wanted your autograph at first but then I noticed your body language suggested more than shy discomfort followed by Cocoa's warning bark.”  

 

“Discomfort is an understatement, Victor.  Can we go home?”

 

“Yes,” Victor responded as he took Yuuri’s skate bag from his hands.  “I think you could use a rest in the onsen."

 

* * *

  


Several hours later Yuuri was curled up next to Victor in bed.  He still felt shaken from the fan’s approach.  “Victor?”

 

Victor laid the book he was reading down and turned his direction to Yuuri.  Reaching up, he ran his fingers over the side of Yuuri’s face.  “Yes?”

 

“H-how would you have handled that situation in my shoes?”

 

“The fan?  I would keep my smile but my voice would become cold while I told her that I was not interested in her offer.  Then I would have grabbed my gear and returned to my coach’s side.  Of course, Yakov has several skaters to keep track besides myself.”

 

“S-so I should have come to you?”

 

“That would be an option.  She caught you off guard.  You did fine.  I was watching.”

 

Yuuri snuggled into his side.  “Sometimes I wish I could just skate without all of that fan business.”

 

Victor laughed bitterly.  “You and I both.”

 

* * *

  


Yuuri woke up the next morning not in a good state.  He was shaking and afraid from a nightmare and Victor was soon wrapping him up in his arms, soothing him.  “It will be okay,” he murmured.  “I’ve got you.”

 

“I should be able to handle these things better,” Yuuri pouted even as he snuggled into Victor’s embrace.

 

Victor lifted Yuuri’s chin so that he could look into Yuuri’s brown eyes.  “And who made that rule?”

 

“I-I guess I did,” Yuuri whispered.

 

“That’s just silly.  We both will have days where we handle life better or worse than others.  You are allowed to have your bad days.  And I will do what you need on those days.”

 

“We’ve got so much to do!” Yuuri answered, his voice becoming more excitable.

 

“Shhh,” Victor soothed.  “The only thing we have to do today is pack.  And I can take care of that if needed.  So don’t you worry, _lyubov moya._  I’ve got you.”

 

Yuuri rested in his lover’s arms, still and staring at nothing when all of the sudden all of the emotions came together at once and he found himself crying.

 

Victor tightened his arms around Yuuri, running his hands soothingly up and down Yuuri’s back.  “What’s wrong?”

 

“I…I…d-don’t…know!” Yuuri finally stuttered out burying his face into Victor’s shoulder.

 

Victor ran his hands over Yuuri’s back, embracing him and caressing him at the same time.  “It’s okay, my Yuuri.  Cry it out.  You don’t have to know why.  Just get it out.”

 

The cry seemed to release quite a bit of the tension from the previous day.  Yuuri still wasn’t quite functional.  Victor wrapped him up in a fuzzy blanket and brought him a cup of tea.  Sitting on the couch, he scrolled on his phone surrounded by Makka and Cocoa while Victor laid out their suitcases and began to decide what they would take to Paris.

 

Victor held up one outfit or another receiving a nod or a shake of the head in confirmation.  A few minutes later, Victor emerged carrying the dress and heels.  Yuuri sat up.  “What are you doing with that?”

 

“Just in case the mood strikes you, dearest,” he answered nonchalantly even as he moved over to the drawer that held the lingerie that Victor smuggled into Japan as well.

 

As he pulled the stockings out of the drawer, Yuuri protested.  “Those stockings do not go with that dress.”

 

“What do you suggest?  I want the stockings.”

 

“Either a new dress…or, I have an idea.”  Yuuri pushed himself out of the blanket and disappeared into the closet and emerged with the suit Victor bought for him earlier that year.  “With the heels?” he suggested with a wink.  Victor short circuited a moment before nodding wordlessly.  Yuuri chuckled and added the suit to the items to be packed.

 

Victor grinned.  “That’s actually a perfect choice, Yuuri, _lyobov moya_ ,” he crooned.

 

“Oh?  Do you have a plan to go with this look?”

 

“I do…but it’s a surprise.”

 

Yuuri eyed him suspiciously, worrying his lower lip between his teeth.  “What kind of surprise?”

 

Victor winked.  “Something beautiful.  Trust me, my Yuuri.”

 

“Famous last words,” he muttered.

 

“You will be the most beautiful one there, of course,” Victor continued, ignoring Yuuri’s comment.  Yuuri huffed in disbelief.  “However, you will enjoy it.”

 

* * *

  


Yuuri stretched out languidly on the studio floor that evening.  The noise at the inn drove them to the privacy of Minako’s place.  Victor spread his legs into a wide straddle, reaching for Yuuri and pulling him back into the V of his legs.  “One day, we’ll have our own place that includes a dance studio,” Victor murmured next to Yuuri’s ear.  “Then we can do questionable things to our hearts’ desire.”

 

Yuuri laughed at his reasoning.  “Questionable things?”

 

“I love it when you get creative, _lyubov moya_.  I just want to provide you with the studio to create such art.”

 

Yuuri leaned back against him.  “My own dance studio,” he breathed at the thought.

 

“Mmmmhmmm,” Victor agreed, drawing skating patterns on Yuuri’s arms with his fingertips.  “Near a skating rink.  It’s a winning combination.”

 

“I could help at the rink, you at the studio,” Yuuri suggested, as he settled into the dream.

“Maybe we can find a studio space with an attached apartment.  A loft or something like it.”

 

“That sounds perfect!” Victor responded, tightening his arms around Yuuri’s waist to hug him close.

 

Yuuri turns in his arms, pulling his legs together and pushing up, pulling Victor to join him.  Reaching for the speakers, he selected a[ song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1MYEu4X9gNE).  He took Victor’s hand and guided him onto the floor.  The song was slow and intimate, and Victor drew Yuuri in and out of his arms as he turned him around the dance floor leading him through the steps, guiding his direction.  Yuuri was pliant to his whim and Victor could not help the subtle smile playing at his lips.

 

“My beautiful Yuuri,” he murmured as he pulled him back into his embrace as the song closed.  “I will never tire of dancing with you, _lyubov moya_.”


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Post crazy fan fall out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, BluSkates, for looking this over!
> 
> If you were an early reader of the last chapter, I added Cocoa into the chapter...because she needed to be there. Thank you, qqsha, for pointing that out as well as my misspelling of Minami's name. I do want to get these things right.

* * *

 

Yuuri snuggled close to Victor in the silvery edge of morning.  “Practice?” he murmured.

 

Victor tightened his arms around him.  “No, love,” he whispered.  “Sasaki-sensei…but we can stay in bed a while longer.”

 

Yuuri brushed a sleepy kiss on his lover’s collarbone before snuggling in to sleep more.  Victor held onto him.  It had been such a long night with Yuuri’s nightmares.  Something in the overly exuberant fan seemed to have triggered Yuuri into a regression.  Victor would make sure he gets to speak with Sasaki before he leaves his lover in her hands.

 

When the morning slipped into golds and reds, Victor slipped away from Yuuri’s hold, tucking the blankets around him.  He promised to help Hiroko that morning before they left.  Showering efficiently, he headed downstairs to talk with her about what she needed.

 

“Good morning, Vicchan,” she greeted.  “Where’s Yuuri?”

 

Victor smiled indulgently.  “He had a rough night, Mama.  I let him sleep a while longer.  Hopefully I’ll be enough help.”

 

“Of course,” she answered with a smile.  “Mari normally helps me with this and she can’t this week because her hand is still in a brace.”

 

“She never said how that happened,” Victor commented with raised eyebrows.

 

Hiroko chuckled.  “Nor will she but I know she was out with Minako.  So who knows what happened.”

 

“Are they...a couple?”

 

Again Hiroko laughed.  “God, no, Vicchan!  Minako is my age…and is like a very permissive aunt to both of my children.  My daughter prefers men...and preferably with fast motorcycles.”

 

“Really?” Victor didn’t attempt to hide his surprise.  “I thought Minako was closer to Mari’s age.  How does she maintain her youth?”

 

“I’ve asked her for years but she refuses to share her secret.  If you ever get it out of her, though, you must share it with this old woman.”

 

Victor chuckled.  “What old woman?”

 

Hiroko beamed as she led Victor into the onsen.  Toshiya was already working and waved to Victor.  “Are you helping out today, Vicchan?”

 

“Yes, Papa,” he answered, turning to Yuuri’s father.  “What do you need me to do?”

 

“Come here and let me show you.”  The older man patted the ground beside him.  Pretty soon, Victor was elbow deep helping Yuuri’s parents go through the weekly maintenance and in depth cleaning of the baths.  He didn’t see Yuuri enter, two hours later, until the younger man dropped down next to him.

 

“You should have woke me,” Yuuri yawned.

 

“You needed the sleep.  You were restless last night,” Victor stated as he continued to scrub the bath.

 

Yuuri raised an eyebrow.  “If you were aware of that, then you, too, need sleep.”

 

“I’m fine, Yuuri,” Victor shrugged with a smile.  “And I promised your mother I would help.”

 

“Actually,  _ we  _ promised my mother to help out,” Yuuri pointed out, picking up another brush to join in.  “It’s almost ten.  We’ll need to leave by noon.”

 

“We’ll give your parents another hour then go clean up and have brunch.  Okay?”

 

* * *

  
  


Yuuri leaned against the window on the train with Victor’s protective arm around him.  He had Cocoa down by his feet, clinging more to her since the Ice Show.  Victor watched the two of them with concern.  “I think you should talk to Sasaki-sensei about the fan,” Victor stated.

 

Yuuri shook his head.  “It’s such a little thing.  I don’t want to lose focus.”

 

Victor narrowed his eyes and quirked his lip thoughtfully.  “Denying that something is bothering you will only set you back further.”

 

Yuuri frowned.  “I’m never going to get past this,” he whispered.  Victor could hear the struggle in Yuuri’s voice.

 

“You may struggle with parts of this for years and there may be events that seem small but still affect you because of your experience,” Victor murmured quietly, placing a comforting hand on Yuuri’s leg.  “We will deal with all of that as it comes together.  And…I am certain that we will continue counseling once we arrive in Russia.  There is a sports psychologist on staff at the rink.  And then there’s the one I visited, the crisis counselor.  If we need someone else, then we’ll find them.  Whatever you need.”

 

“And you?”

 

Victor nodded.  “And me.  I know you won’t let me get by with not taking care of myself.  I…need that.  I was given too much leeway over the years.  And it hurt me in the end.  I won’t let you hurt yourself.”

 

Yuuri slipped an arm discretely around Victor’s waist and hugged him from the side.  “I feel the same.  I want you to take care of yourself as well.”

 

“Good.  We’re in agreement.”  He looked out the window for a few minutes before adding, “I know you said you could take this trip without Cocoa but I don’t think that is a good idea.  You’ve been keeping her close all weekend, even more so since the Ice Show.”

 

“It’s too late to make the changes,” Yuuri protested.

 

Victor shook his head.  “No.  I made the call already.  The airline is willing and able to accommodate us.  I explained that Cocoa is a service animal and is necessary for your mental health.  They moved our seats but she can travel with us in cabin.  They have asked us to keep her crated as much as possible and definitely for landing and take-off.”

 

“W-we can do that.  Vitya, what did you do?  That had to be expensive at the last minute.”

 

Victor shook his head.  “I just explained that you were struggling with your anxiety and needed her close for your mental well-being.  I also pointed out that I will be there as well to make sure your other needs were taken care of.  It will be fine.”

 

“And the hotel?”

 

“They didn’t even hesitate.  They have guests that bring their pets all the time and service animals are more than welcome.  They even offer a dog walking service as well as other pet-friendly accommodations.”

 

Yuuri chuckled.  “This may become my favorite hotel.”

 

Victor hugged Yuuri not-so-discretely.  “It will be fine, Yuuri.  I just want you to have all of the support you need within reach.”

 

* * *

  
  


When they reached Sasaki-sensei’s office she invited them both in at first.  “So, gentlemen, what’s going on?”

 

Yuuri was quiet as he drew Cocoa close.  Victor sighed and told her about the events at the ice show and Yuuri’s reactions.

 

She quirked an eyebrow towards Yuuri.  “Yuuri-san, why are you avoiding this?”

 

“I-I don’t want to regress,” Yuuri answered quietly.  “I want to move past this.”

 

Tapping her chin with her index finger, she pointed out, “Not dealing with something doesn’t move us past it.  It will fester under the skin to later become a bigger problem.”

 

Yuuri stared at the top of Cocoa’s head as his fingers played with her curls.   “I…sh-she was pushing me.  I felt trapped, like I couldn’t get away.”

 

“Did you get away?” she asked as she tilted her head.

 

Yuuri shrugged.  “Victor intervened and pulled me away from her.”

 

“It’s okay to tell her to back off.”

 

“I told her…don’t touch me.  Sh-she had her hands on my chest…like she had a right.  That’s when Cocoa gave the warning bark.  Then Victor was there soon after.  She didn’t seem intimidated.”

 

Sasaki frowned thoughtfully.  “If Cocoa is with you, how can her training help you, Yuuri?”

 

“She can g-guard me,” Yuuri answered as he dropped his eyes to study the brown poodle.

 

“How do you activate that response?”

 

Yuuri tightened the lead.  “Cocoa, on guard!”  The poodle’s stance completely changed.  After a few moments, Yuuri countered the command.  “Cocoa, stand down!”  The dog relaxed and settled back down by Yuuri’s feet.

 

“We’ve worked out sign language for when Yuuri struggles with his words as well,” Victor interjected.  “However, I think it would be good if we go through drills with her to continue to reinforce those commands.”

 

Yuuri nodded.  “I think…we’ve been a bit lax on her training since arriving at Hasetsu.  Until the threats came through, I felt safe here.  It’s only recently that that has been challenged.”

 

“So it sounds like part of your homework is to work on Cocoa’s commands.”

 

Yuuri nodded.  “I think…that would be good for both of us.  I…couldn’t pull the words out when I needed them.  Maybe I need to practice them like I do my anxiety strategies.”

 

“And have you practiced those strategies recently?”

 

Yuuri slowly shook his head.  “I haven’t,” he confessed.

 

“So you have two homework assignments.  You are traveling soon, aren’t you?”

 

“We leave tomorrow,” Victor confirmed.  “Cocoa will travel with us.”

 

“Good,” Sasaki stated.  “During your trip can you continue on this assignment?”

 

They both nodded.

 

“Now, Victor, since I have you in here as well, do you have more to share?”

 

“I…I’ve started reading.  I lost interest in reading for some time…when I sort of lost interest in everything.  I just didn’t realize how bad it was until I started losing interest in my skating.  Even then…I didn’t try and get help.”

 

“You are getting help now.  Let’s move forward.  You are reading now.  Anything else?”

 

“I let Yuuri sleep this morning while I helped out his parents.  Does that count?”

 

“Hmmm…an interesting approach but I think we can count that as a plus.  I know, given the circumstances, you both want to keep the other close.  So when you are in places where you both feel safe, it’s an opportunity to find time for yourselves.  Both of you.  Reading, journaling, enjoying a show, conversations with friends that don’t necessarily include your partner, and I suppose helping out other members of the family could be included.”

 

“That private time will be harder while we travel,” Victor pointed out.

 

“Focus on what you can do, not what you can’t.  You can carry a book or two and a journal.  Although you are in the same room, it still is time your mind is settled on yourself.”

 

“Okay.  I planned to take a book.”

 

“Good.  Now, Victor, I’m going to kick you out so I can focus on Yuuri.  Yuuri, do you wish for 

Cocoa to remain or to leave with your partner?”

 

“I-if it’s okay, I’d like her to stay with me.”

 

“Of course it’s okay.”

 

* * *

  
  


An hour and a half later, Yuuri came into the reception area to find Victor curled up with a book but dozing on the couch.  Bending over him, he traced his fingers along his cheek.  As those silver eyelashes fluttered open, Yuuri whispered, “I knew you didn’t get enough rest.”

 

Victor offered a sheepish smile.  “It’s okay.  We can rest this evening.  I want to curl up with you and take a nap.”

 

“Then maybe we can skate or dance after we wake up,” Yuuri suggested.

 

“That sounds like an amazing plan.  Shall we go home?”

 

Yuuri smiled, taking his hand.  “I’m always home when I’m with you, Vitya.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments, kudos, shares, bookmarks, and subscriptions...all of these things are good. I could say they inspire me to write more but who am I kidding...I'm obsessed!


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They leave for Paris...lot's of fluff and some NSFW goodies towards the end. ;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, BluSkates, for getting to this. I was hoping to post it before I went out of town.

* * *

  


“Thank you, Yuuko-chan, for taking us to the airport,” Yuuri said as they pulled their luggage onto the cart along with Cocoa’s crate.

 

“Of course.  If Mari can’t pick you up when you return home, let me know.  Either Takeshi or myself should be available.  Now, you two have fun.  I want to see pictures.”

 

Victor laughed.  “I try to always get proof shots.  I think this will be Yuuri’s first shoot outside of Japan.”

 

Yuuri nodded with a painful sigh.  “I can’t believe you involved me in this.”

 

“It will be good.  Besides, they practically designed this scent for you.  Cherry blossom, sandalwood, and cinnamon.  I can’t wait until you wear it.”

 

Yuuri chuckled.  “I can’t believe they named it after one of my programs.  And yours is called _Irrésistible_?  Cardamom and cedar.  You wear that fairly often.”

 

Victor nodded.  “When we go out, it’s the scent I choose.”

 

Yuuko closed the back of her van.  “Okay, that’s all of it.  Safe travels!”

 

“Thank you, Yuuko-chan!”  They both waved at her as she left them.

 

* * *

 

They were able to load Yuuri and Cocoa early because of Cocoa’s service designation.  Yuuri settled next to the window and waited for Victor to join him.  It was fifteen minutes before he spotted that silver head coming down the aisle.  “Yuuri!  I missed you!”

 

Yuuri laughed.  “Goofball!”

 

Victor grinned.  “I can’t believe you called me that!”

 

“When the shoe fits…”

 

Victor threw a hand over his forehead dramatically.  “You cut me to the quick, Yuuri!  I thought we had something here!”

 

Yuuri rolled his eyes and stared at him with a raised eyebrow.  “Really, Vitya?”

 

Victor dropped down in his seat and winked.  “Yuuri, we should put Cocoa next to the window.  Sit by me, _lyubov moya_.”

 

“You’re ridiculous,” Yuuri answered even as he stood to make the transition.  “I’m surprised you don’t want me smashed up against a window.”

 

As Yuuri sat down in the middle seat, Victor leaned onto his shoulder.  “I want you closer.  I relax better when I can hold your hand while we travel.”

 

Yuuri smiled indulgently as he slid an arm around the other man’s shoulder.

 

* * *

 

Fifteen hours later and they finally disembarked in Paris.  Yuuri leaned heavily in Victor’s arms, Cocoa now on lead as they gathered their belongings.  With a cart in hand, they went to baggage claim to get the rest.  Victor guided Yuuri to the seats and had him get comfortable.  “You stay here and I’ll gather our luggage.  Cocoa, guard.”  The dog became alert by Yuuri’s feet.  Victor reached forward and scruffed his hand through Yuuri’s hair.  “I’ll just be right over there.”  He pointed towards the luggage carousal.

 

Victor moved forward to claim the rest of their luggage.  Finally the machine started feeding pieces.  He watched for their distinctive pieces of luggage.  Victor’s was expensive and red.  Yuuri’s was basic black decorated with blue ribbons that had poodles on it tied to the handles.  Victor spotted the first piece and pulled it off the rack.  One by one he caught them as they fed through the system.  Finally, he reached the last piece and dragged the cart over where Yuuri sat semi-awake.

 

Cocoa barked to alert Yuuri of Victor’s approach.  Yuuri shook himself awake and smiled sheepishly.  “Sorry,” he mumbled.

 

“Don’t worry, love.  We’ll get you to the hotel and you can rest.”

 

“Can we do room service?  I don’t think I can deal with the public tonight.”

 

“Of course.  Come with me.”

 

Soon they were in a cab headed towards the hotel.

 

* * *

 

Victor watched Yuuri curled up asleep, jetlag taking its toll on the small body of his lover.  He had arranged for dinner then walked Cocoa.  Now he sat back in a recliner, book in hand disappearing into the mystery unfolding on the pages before him.  Small thoughts filtered their way past the lines on the page.  Last year, during a trip like this, he would be out enjoying the nightlife and town.  How domestic he had become.  Yet, this is where he wanted to be…in the room watching his Yuuri sleep.  Last year he was dying from loneliness.  How full his life had become.  He now had a family, someone worth fighting for.  Last year he didn’t know love.  Now he knew love slept with his hand curled up under his cheek in exhaustion when he traveled, gave everything he possibly could to Victor, and worked hard to give more.  He would not trade this.  He needed the life and the love Yuuri brought to him.

 

Yuuri stirred when their meal arrived.  Victor brought the service into the room before sinking into the mattress and reaching over to pull the blankets away from Yuuri’s face.  The brunette scrunched up his expression and groaned in resistance.  Victor chuckled warmly.  “You need to eat, Yuuri love,” he insisted.

 

Yuuri opened one eye and considered his words.  “Can I sleep more after?”

 

“Of course, darling.  As you wish.  Now come.”  Victor pulled on his hand, brushing his lips over the other man’s fingers as he drew them near, the pout Yuuri had formed was endearing to Victor’s soul.  “So adorable,” he teased.

 

Yuuri stuck his tongue out in response, pulling his hand away and crawling across the bed.  “I don’t know why you picked a room with such a huge bed, Vitya.  You’re going to be sleeping all wrapped up around me like a spider monkey.”

 

Victor grinned.  “I love a big bed.  It’s similar to the one in my apartment in St. Petersburg.  I love to curl up in the center of it and with two poodles, I think you’ll appreciate it.”

 

Yuuri glanced his direction from the side of his eyes.  “A bed that size can accommodate you, me, two dogs, and a few kids.”  He laughed when he received the desired response as Victor seized him to his heart from behind.  “We’ll have kids one day, Vitya,” he promised softly, relaxing in his embrace.  “I don’t know how, but…each day I can see us creating a family more and more.”

 

“Beautiful figure skaters, dancers, artists…” Victor seemed lost in the dream as he murmured his future children’s destinies in Yuuri’s ear.

 

“You know, we could end up with doctors, lawyers, mathematicians, engineers…”

 

Victor smiled brushing a kiss behind Yuuri’s ear.  “That’s okay, too.  I can do math.  And maybe legal matters.  I’ll leave the rest to you.”

 

Yuuri chuckled in response and Victor basked in the warmth of its cadence.  “Shall we eat?”

 

Victor lifted the cover and smiled at the warmth greeting them.  “I went with comfort after traveling. [   Beef burgundy ](https://www.thespruce.com/french-boeuf-bourguignon-recipe-1375523) . [   Baked apple brie ](https://www.thespruce.com/baked-apple-brie-recipe-1374797).  With red wine.”

 

“Good call,” Yuuri responded, hugging his bowl close and breathing in the scent of red potatoes, vegetables, and beef in a brandy based marinade.    

 

Victor grinned as he divided the crusts of bread holding the baked green apples and melted brie into a pair of serving plates.  He then poured two glasses of wine, presenting his lover with one.  With his plate in hand, he chose to sit next to Yuuri while they enjoyed their meal.

 

“This feels extravagant,” Yuuri commented as he took his first bite.

 

Victor smiled as he nuzzled Yuuri’s neck.  “Perhaps, but I’ve been craving intimate time with you and for me, that includes good food.”

 

Yuuri giggled as he tilted his head away from Victor.  “You mean Minako’s studio is not intimate enough for you?”

 

“It’s a close second to the men’s locker room at Ice Castle.”

 

“Or the public baths at the inn.”

 

“What about our room with their paper thin walls?”

 

“God!  We need our own place, Victor!”

 

The silver haired man chuckled.  “In due time.  I have actually talked with a real estate agent about it.”

 

Yuuri looked towards Victor startled.  “What?  But we will be going to Russia soon.”

 

“I know.  But we intend to return.  If we are going to spend half a year in Japan and half a year in Russia, I want us to have our own place in both locations.”

 

“Can we…afford that?”

 

Victor nodded.  “We can…especially with the offers you’re bringing in as well.”

 

Yuuri chewed on his lip as he considered Victor’s news.  “Can I afford Japan?”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“St. Petersburg is your expense…you’ve already bought your condo there.  You have it set up with cleaning services, a house sitter, and other things you need.  I want to…is it possible for me to afford the Japan side of expenses?”

 

Victor considered his words.  “Why don’t we pull out your financials when we return home?  I’ll run the numbers for you.  I don’t think you are aware of how much your offers are bringing in compared to your skating expenses.”

 

Yuuri slowly shook his head.

 

“This week in Paris…the _Éros_ endorsement will gain you a solid income.  Every time you publicly skate the program, they are paying you a residual cost.  Every time they run the ad, live or in a magazine, you will receive a residual fee.  The day of photos and the later filming will be a small price to pay in time for the payout we receive in return.”

 

“I guess…I’ve never really involved myself with the business aspects.”

 

“I don’t mind handling the business, Yuuri, but I want you aware.  I also think that as you rise, it would be good for you to have a manager.  The P.R. firm I use works closely with my sports manager.  They handle the accounting although, honestly, I am very hands on when it comes to my financial affairs.  I look over my contracts, study my financials, and am aware of how much is coming in and going out.”

 

“I think you are more confident in my rise than I am.  What if World’s and Four Continents was a fluke?”

 

Victor shook his head.  “Your past choreography did not take advantage of your strengths.  I like Celestino but honestly, I reworked all of your programs and you could do better.  With Yakov, you will do better.”

 

“I…wow, I just realized that all of these areas require one to be strong in math.”

 

Victor shrugged.  “I told you I could do the math.  The reason I took off with the new scoring system is that I understood it quickly.  Yakov and I sat down when it released and reworked everyone’s programs to maximize the systems.  Numbers come easy to me.”

 

“I think…people underestimate your intelligence.”

 

Victor winked.   “They make assumptions because I tend to be silly, outgoing, blonde…they assume that I’m unaware.  I take advantage of that.  I can capitalize on their ignorance, on their false beliefs.  They don’t guard their information.  I use a shield of my team to maintain that idea.”

 

Yuuri nodded.  “I have always seen you as intelligent…I just didn’t realize the depth of it until I got to know you.  You are very analytical.”

 

“And you are very creative.  We balance each other, Yuuri.”

 

Yuuri chuckled.  “Don’t underestimate your own creativity.”

 

“I play the ice like some people play chess.  It’s all strategy.  Yakov and I butt heads because he doesn’t always catch up to what I’m seeing because I’ve looked five moves ahead.  That’s why I pushed quads to four.”

 

Yuuri placed his empty bowl on the cart and lifted his glass to his lips thoughtfully.  “So you are saying…there is no way I can lose with you standing behind me.”

 

“Well, that depends partly on you.  But I know that you have the determination, the talent, the skill.  You should be fine.”

 

“So as long as I can keep it together…”  Yuuri sunk his thoughts inward.

 

Victor reached for his hand and squeezed it.  “You’re getting better at that.  There will always be bad skates.  You can’t let those days define you.”

 

“I know but sometimes…I forget?”

 

“That’s fair.  I suppose we all have dark periods where we forget what we should know.”

 

Yuuri snuggled close to Victor’s chest, bringing his glass to his lips.  “No matter what, I’m with you.  It is more than I ever thought was possible.  I never thought…I’d be worthy of your regard.”

 

Victor wrapped Yuuri in his embrace.  “It is I who wonders if he is worthy of your regard, my angel,” he whispered, resting his cheek against the top of Yuuri’s head.

 

Yuuri’s hand trembled.  He pulled back to set his glass on the table and then moved deeper into Victor’s embrace as he straddled his lover’s lap.  Taking advantage of the extra height, the position, he pressed Victor back into the couch as he lowered his lips.  Victor gasped, his hands sliding up Yuuri’s thighs, grasping his ass.  “Yuuri,” he breathed as Yuuri broke the kiss.

 

Yuuri stared into those blue eyes, his own dilating with desire.  “Vitya, can we?  How do we go to the next step?”

 

Victor’s eyes widened in surprise.  “Are you sure?  I thought you wanted to wait.”

 

“I want you…now.”  They stared at each other a moment before their lips crashed together, demanding, teeth and tongue fighting one another.  Victor’s hands were soon tugging on Yuuri’s shirt and they finally broke apart so that it could be removed.  Yuuri took advantage of the moment to take Victor’s shirt from him.

 

Victor then stood up with Yuuri in his arms, Yuuri’s legs wrapped around the older man, as Victor carried him to the bed.  “How do you want this?” Victor asked as he laid Yuuri down.

 

“I want…to feel you…to feel connected to you.”

 

“Do you want…to be in me, or me in you?”

 

Yuuri frowned, as if making that decision gave more gravity to the next step.  “I want…you in me,” he breathed.  “I’m scared, Vitya, but I want this.  Please.  Make me yours.”

 

Victor’s eyes were tender as he looked at the man lying before him.  “I’m already yours, my Yuuri.  Just as you are mine.  This doesn’t change that.”

 

“I need…to know the closeness of you,” he rushed out in a whisper.  “I can’t explain it.  Vitya, please.”  Yuuri reached down tugging on his lover’s zipper.  

 

Victor leaned back.  “Slow down.  We’ll do this but we’ve waited all this time.  I don’t want us to rush through it.”  Victor leaned forward brushing his lips over Yuuri’s, then his cheek, and finally, next to his ear.  “I want you to promise me to stop this if you change your mind,” he whispered.  “I never want you to be afraid of me.”

 

Yuuri nodded.  “I will.  I promise.”  He ran his hand around Victor’s neck and urged Victor’s lips back to his own.  Victor dipped down to capture Yuuri’s kiss, several brushes of his lips before urging Yuuri’s mouth to open to his tongue.  He tasted Yuuri’s moan, felt Yuuri’s fingers slide over his bare skin.

 

Breaking the kiss, he studied the man caught up in his desire.  “Hold on, Yuuri.  There are some things we need.”  Victor slipped away from Yuuri and approached his luggage.  He couldn’t believe he packed these things, he never dreamed he’d need them, but here he was opening the pouch in his luggage that held the lube and condoms.

 

He turned back to the bed and his eyes rested on Yuuri turned on his side watching Victor in interest.  He padded across the floor and laid the added supplies beside them on the bed.  “I don’t want to hurt you,” he explained, trying to convey more in the simplicity of the words.

 

“I know,” Yuuri answered, knowing in his eyes.  He pulled Victor back to him.  “Touch me Victor.”

 

Victor lowered his lips and brushed them over Yuuri’s before fluttering them down his chin and neck.  He knew many things Yuuri liked and began pulling them from his memories.  He knew Yuuri loved his nipples played with and suckled.  He lowered his head and traced his tongue around the bead before dipping his head to suck.  Yuuri moaned in answer, arching his back in reply.  “Mmmm,” Victor hummed against his skin.

 

He also knew Yuuri loved it when he lightly touched his overly sensitive skin.  As he pulled back, settled between Yuuri’s legs, he used the lightest of touches as he traced down Yuuri’s ribs and abdomen.  Yuuri’s lips parted in response, his tongue darting out to lick them.  Victor couldn’t resist that temptation and dipped back down to capture his kiss, to suck that tongue into his mouth, to taste yet another moan released by the brunette.

 

“Vitya,” he whispered as Victor pulled away.  “Please.  Touch me…I need your touch.”

 

Victor smiled tenderly, indulgently, his expression softened by his love, edged by his hunger.  He took a finger and traced it down the center of Yuuri’s ribcage and abdomen, circling his navel before capturing Yuuri’s hardened member in his hold.  He wrapped his hand around him, giving it a firm tug before loosening his hold and teasingly tracing his fingers down the length.  Yuuri moaned plaintively, knotting his hands into the sheets.  

 

Victor knew it was close to time for uncharted territory.  He felt nervous.  Victor remembered the therapist stating that it could go bad the first couple of times.  He prayed it did not.  He never wanted to be the source of Yuuri’s pain.

 

But Yuuri wanted this, asked him for this.  Reaching for the lube, he squeezed some into his hand.  Using his other hand, he brushed his fingers along Yuuri’s thighs and watched in amazement as they fell open for him, feeling the trust of the younger man laid out before him.  “Beautiful,” he breathed.

 

He reached down, his fingers finding the ring of muscles.  Yuuri’s breath hitched and Victor watched his lover’s expression for any withdrawal, any sign of hesitation.  He watched in amazement as Yuuri’s face relaxed into the pleasure of his teasing touch.  “Vitya, please,” he pleaded softly, holding his eyes.  Victor circled the ring of muscles until it softened and relaxed.  Dipping his finger just inside, he heard Yuuri’s breathing quicken.  “More,” he urged.  Victor nodded, sliding the finger in as far as the second joint. Yuuri shifted restlessly and Victor felt a smile tug at his lips.  Sliding the finger the rest of the way in, he held Yuuri’s eyes as he moved the digit in and out, relaxing the muscles around it, gaining knowledge of Yuuri’s reaction to his touch.

 

Withdrawing the finger, he heard Yuuri whimper at the loss.  “Shush, love,” he chastised teasingly.  “I’m going to love you thoroughly.”  Victor added more lube, and placing his finger at the entrance, he tested a second finger and watched Yuuri’s expression, the younger man’s lips parting with pleasure at the introduction of another digit.  He moved them in and out a few times before he started scissoring them and stretching Yuuri’s entrance.  “God, you’re beautiful.  How is it that[ I get to love you](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m1mkYWkoXyo)?”

 

Yuuri’s skin pinked up even more.  He reached for Victor.  “I need you…”  His words broke off momentarily as a wave of pleasure ran through him.  “I need you to kiss me.”  Victor smiled as he leaned in to accommodate the request.  Yuuri moaned his name “Vitya” into the kiss and Victor drank it in.

 

Victor pulled back teasing the entrance with one more finger while still watching his lover’s eyes for any sign of hesitance.  He only received a softly plaintive “please” drawn out with need.  Victor inserted the third finger, stretching him further before crooking his finger to search out the magic place.  Yuuri’s gasp soon revealed that he found it.  Victor continued to tease Yuuri, brushing his fingers over Yuuri’s prostate until Yuuri pushed up on his elbows and stared intently at Victor.  “I want you now!”

 

Victor chuckled softly.  He wanted Yuuri in this state.  He wanted all of Yuuri’s thoughts on him.  He did not want to risk them dipping into darker places.  Removing his fingers, he reached for the condom with his clean hand and tore open the package with his teeth.  He was soon sheathed in the protective barrier.  They were both clean.  Yuuri was tested after the rape as part of his exam.  Victor had himself tested in Detroit when he knew they were becoming more intimate.  However, he wanted to protect his lover as much as possible.

 

He held Yuuri’s eyes as he lined up with the younger man’s entrance.  He hoped his eyes didn’t betray the fear that gripped him as he slowly pushed past the ring of muscles.  Yuuri’s eyes went wide as his head fell back in the pillow, his breathing becoming measured as he accepted Victor inside him.  Victor paused as his head cleared the entrance, waiting for Yuuri to signal he was ready for more.  Yuuri gave him a sharp nod and he pressed in more.  They continued like this, Yuuri’s body stretching to accommodate Victor’s length in slow increments.  Finally, Victor found himself fully seated within his lover.

 

Leaning forward, he slid his arms behind Yuuri’s shoulder as his lips sought the other man’s.  He felt overwhelmed and humbled by Yuuri’s trust knowing what the other man fought through to give it to him.  When Victor pulled back, he knew his tears had betrayed him.  Yuuri returned his expression with tenderness, a smile teasing his lips.  Then he felt Yuuri wiggle restlessly beneath him.

 

His first movements were slow and deliberate, wanting to make sure Yuuri’s body was ready to hold him.  As Yuuri’s hips lifted to meet him, the other man’s legs wrapping around him to assist in the task, he found his speed picking up as he moved in and out.  Victor heard the his lover’s moans in response to his movement, he felt his fingers and toes tingle as his blood rushed to his core, giving everything to the man beneath him.

 

“Yuuri, my beautiful Yuuri,” he murmured as well as a few phrases in Russian.

 

The man beneath him was too far gone for English although he heard his name “Vitya” slip through the Japanese words.  Victor knew he wasn’t going to be able to hold out much longer, the tightness of Yuuri mixed with the emotion of what each was giving the other was overwhelming him when he heard Yuuri whisper, “Vitya, I’m close.”

 

Victor reached down between them with his clean hand and stroked Yuuri’s member.  “Come for me, _lyubov moya_.”  With a few gentle strokes and subtle twists, he heard Yuuri’s cry of release and felt the tensing through his fingers and deep within his core as Yuuri’s pleasure wrapped tighter around Victor, pulling him over the edge.  He dropped his head onto Yuuri’s shoulder, his arm wrapped around Yuuri’s waist as he rode out his orgasm with his partner.

 

They lay joined until Victor became too flaccid to remain inside.  Victor finally pulled back to study his lover.  Yuuri reached up to touch Victor’s face then pulled his hand back squeezing it together before reaching for him again.  Victor realized he was still caught up in the effects of his orgasm.

 

Victor leaned forward to capture the smaller man’s lips.  “I love you, Katsuki Yuuri,” he murmured into that kiss.  Pulling back, he smoothed the other man’s hair.  “How is it that I get to love you?” he repeated, his expression so very tender as he stroked the backs of his fingers down the side of his face.

 

“Vitya,” he whispered in reply.  “I love you, too.”  His voice hitched and Victor heard the sob behind it, and he watched the man fall apart before him.

 

“Yuuri,” he breathed, worried edging his voice.

 

“I can’t help it, Vitya.  I’m so overwhelmed at this moment.  I’ve never felt so much yours as at this moment.”

 

“ _Lyubov moya_ ….my darling, darling Yuuri…I became yours in December.”

 

“And I became yours,” he whispered in reply.

 

Victor brushed a kiss over Yuuri’s lips, tender in devotion.  “Let me take care of you.”

 

“Always,” Yuuri breathed.

 

Victor pushed himself up from his lover and slipped into the bathroom.  He started the water filling warm and soothing.  Once it was at an adequate start, he returned to Yuuri who now lay on his side.  He reached for the other man and gathered him in his arms.  Yuuri’s smaller stature made it easy for Victor to carry him and soon they were in the bathroom and Yuuri was settled into the tub.

 

“Join me, please,” Yuuri invited.  

 

Victor nodded, stepping into the enlarged tub.  Once he settled, he laughed joyfully as his lover moved directly into his arms settling down in front of him.  He held his lover, washing him off with the cloth.  He began to hum a song as he tended to his lover’s needs and he was through a few bars before he realized it was[ _Once Upon a December_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5iTRCFlfZM4).  He easily slipped into the words knowing his voice relaxed and soothed his partner.

 

As the water began to chill, Victor helped his lover to stand, drying Yuuri off and guiding him back to the warmth of their bed.  He gathered the brunette’s naked body against him, big spoon to his little spoon.  His final whispered words before sleep overtook them, “My breath, my heartbeat, my beautiful, sweet Yuuri.  I never thought I could love someone the way I love you.”

 

Yuuri’s murmured reply reached him just before he slipped into sleep.  “Vitya, my home, my lover, I know I’ve never known love like this.  We are…everything.  We are enough.”

 

 _Enough_.  This thought settled between them as they slept contentedly.

 

* * *

 

 

NOTE:  Although I linked the recipes, the[ pictures](https://www.thespruce.com/french-comfort-foods-1375601) on this page gives you a better idea of what I was envisioning.  Mmmm…French cuisine.  (BluSkates, better than Russian?)

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love all the comments, all the kudos, all the shares!
> 
> I hope you like this chapter. I wanted to treat you guys since I'm not going to be able to post for several days. Enjoy!


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Paris, high heels, and an erotic game of tag. Ooo la la!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay...I just couldn't get my head around this chapter. Then it clicked. I hope you enjoy it.
> 
> Thank you, BluSkates, for the read and edits.

* * *

 

Yuuri rolled out of bed achy and sore, hearing Cocoa’s restless demands.  Standing, he found his legs weren’t ready to support him and was surprised into a squeal when a pair of strong arms reached around him and pulled him back into bed.  “Slow down,  _ lyubov moya _ ,” he whispered against Yuuri’s ear.

 

“I didn’t know I’d be so sore,” Yuuri confessed.

 

Victor brushed his lips over Yuuri’s neck.  “Let me order breakfast and get you some pain killers.”

 

“Cocoa needs to go out,” Yuuri pouted. 

 

Victor chuckled.  “Don’t worry.  I’ll take care of that as well.”  Victor wrapped Yuuri up in blankets.  Snuggling up to his lover, he asked, “So you really would want all of our children in bed with us?”

 

Yuuri laughed at the odd timing.  “Well, not all the time.  But stormy nights, when they have nightmares, or if one of us was traveling…I think that would be perfect times for our hypothetical children to snuggle up to us.”

 

“I think…that would be lovely, amazing even.  As long as we can have…our sexy times.”

 

“I think we would go on severe withdrawal at this point,” Yuuri teased before dipping in to steal a kiss.  “I am becoming addicted to your touch, Vitya.”  Brushing another kiss over his lips, he added, “To your kisses.”  He then traced his tongue over the part of Victor’s lips.  “To the taste of you.” 

 

Victor leaned in, his eyes dilated, desire vibrating through him.  As he brushed another kiss, he heard a whine by the door.  “Cocoa needs to pee,” Yuuri whispered, darting his eyes towards the poodle.

 

“Cocoa needs to pee,” Victor repeated as if it was a secret code he needed to decipher.  Yuuri nodded and pointed towards the door.  Victor heard another whine and then it all fell together in his mind.  “Oh.  Yes.”  Turning, he dropped down to the floor next to Cocoa.  “Does Cocoa need to go out?” he asked, his voice taking on an excited pitch.  She barked in reply.  Victor stood up and grabbed his sweats and t-shirt.  Slipping on some flip flops, he grabbed the leash.  Sloppy Victor stood out oddly against the expensive décor of the hotel.  Yuuri watched him leave, a soft amusement twitching at his lips.

 

* * *

 

Half an hour later, Victor returned with Cocoa and some pain killers.  “Breakfast is in its way up,  _ solnyska _ ," he offered as Yuuri rolled on his side, stretching languidly. 

 

“Thank you, Vitya,” he murmured.  Victor brought him a glass of water and two pain pills.  “I want to get up and move,” he pouted.

 

“After breakfast, we’ll shower and take a walk.  Some light exploring.  This won’t be our only time in Paris.”

 

Yuuri nodded.  “The next two days are busy.”

 

“And Chris is joining us Friday night.  If you are up for a club, I know a good one.”  Victor’s expression was hopeful.

 

Yuuri wrinkled his nose.  “Let’s see…where my energy is please.”

 

“Of course,” Victor answered, his smile indulgent.

 

“It will be good to see Chris again,” Yuuri added wistfully.

 

“This is the first summer I haven’t spent a week with him in some time.  I am glad he could take a few days off and join us.”

 

“You two have been friends for a long time.”

 

Victor nodded.  “Ten years.  We were so young when we first met.”

 

“I haven’t known Phichit nearly as long but we’ve been close friends for some time now.  I do miss him.”

 

“I know, love.  Maybe we can see him soon.”

 

Breakfast arrived and Victor brought the service in settling it close to the bed.  “Tea or coffee?”

 

Yuuri raised an eyebrow.  “Is that really a question?”

 

“Tea it is,” Victor answered with a chuckle.  “I don’t want us to overdo it today because I’ve made plans for this evening.  We’ll need to dress up.”

 

“Is this what the heels are for?”

 

Victor grinned.  “You know me so well.”

 

They started their day with a river cruise on the Seine.  Then, with Cocoa in tow, they found a small café for lunch before continuing their walk into the Jardin des Tuileries where Yuuri and Victor made odd poses by each of the eighteen bronze sculptures posting them to Victor’s Instagram.  It was a tossup as to which were more popular, the couple or Cocoa who managed to steal hearts everywhere they went.

 

Cocoa stayed close to Yuuri regardless of their travel and Yuuri found his hand straying into her curls often to calm his nerves.  He couldn’t lay a finger on what made him nervous, finally deciding it was just travel in general.  Victor would keep a reassuring hand on his back or lace their fingers together to ground Yuuri.  After the garden tour Yuuri asked him if he minded going back to the room to rest, jet lag had found its way back in.

 

“Of course,” Victor chirped happily.  “We can take a nap and then get ready for our evening.”

 

“Oh, yes…the heels,” Yuuri teased, with a wink.

 

Victor’s growl rumbled against Yuuri’s ear causing the younger man to giggle softly in response.  Slipping into their bed, Victor set an alarm to allow them plenty of time to get ready for the evening.  Victor nuzzled into Yuuri’s neck before settling into sleep knowing Yuuri needed his rest after traveling.

 

The alarm pulled them from their sleep and Yuuri stirred reluctantly.  Victor did the only thing a sane man could do as he watched his lover stretch and writhe, fighting against waking up.  He straddled the man and started with a kiss, slowly coercing the other man to respond.  Once Yuuri was fully engaged into the kiss, Victor followed up with fingers glancing up Yuuri’s side with one intent.  To tickle Yuuri until he begged for mercy. 

 

Of course, he underestimated Yuuri’s strength and soon found himself flipped and beneath his lover who applied his own relentless tickles in response.  Victor was a giggling mess begging Yuuri to stop, tables effectively turned.  However, the goal was achieved as Yuuri was wide awake.  Pulling off Victor, he moved to the closet to pull out the outfit he had planned for the evening along with the underthings Victor desired from him.  With a wink, he disappeared into the bathroom locking the door behind him.

 

Yuuri came out half an hour later dressed in the [ suit](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/d3/0b/12/d30b12ed6b54aada9fe56cac0c58f8d6.jpg) Victor gifted him.  Victor could see the hint of silk stocking peeking out as Yuuri padded across the floor to give his lover access to the bathroom.  Yuuri watched his lover disappear then reached into his carry-on bag for the [ shoes](http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/imagine-vince-camuto-devin-sandal-women/4553095?cm_mmc=google-_-productads-_-Women%3AShoes%3ASandals_Slides-_-5108697_2&rkg_id=h-a8db8fee2ce7f369e6b8456df9af4c86_t-1495943604&adpos=1o7&creative=57187812113&device=c&network=s&gclid=Cj0KEQjwx6TJBRCWtsiXpI7bhOYBEiQA1en3F8L0Gp5w5rVG4HuL-5MiGCdSVz_L1rOgvP7hmm5FG9saAuqJ8P8HAQ) he had slipped into their baggage.  A surprise to please the king of surprises.  The deep red matched the pocket square.  Strappy and sexy to set off the black silk stockings that hinted at what lay [ beneath](http://www.agentprovocateur.com/us_en/demelza-suspender-black) the suit.  He slipped his feet into their confines and eased up the zipper at the back.  A smile touched his lips as he admired how pretty they accented his feet.

 

* * *

  

Victor exited the shower to find Yuuri seated in the leather chair, his legs crossed at the knee dangling one heeled foot over the other.  His breath caught.   _ What did I do in a previous life that allows me to have this man? _  Victor’s smile traced over his lips.  His lover sat before him the perfect picture combining both his masculinity and femininity.  “Wow!” he whispered, his voice hoarse as his eyes widened.  He heard his lover chuckle and watched how that laughter lit up his features.  “Please let me take a picture.  You are…stunning.”

 

“For your eyes only,” Yuuri murmured. 

 

Victor had out his phone and opened up the camera app, taking a picture of the man reclining beautifully in the chair.  He then closed the gap and pulled his partner to his feet to take another picture focusing on the upper body.  “This one is for the public.  The other, I reserve for myself.”  

Victor winked in the shot even as Yuuri leaned into him.  It went up on Instagram.  “Out for the evening with my partner in Paris.” 

 

Yuuri’s lips parted in surprise.  “I think…that’s the first time you’ve stated that outright.”

 

“I’ve called you my boyfriend and my partner several times,” Victor argued, eyebrows raised.

 

Yuuri shook his head.  “But…you’ve never written it, shared it.  Not like this.”

 

“I want the world to know you are mine, Yuuri Katsuki,” he murmured, lowering his lips to brush against the skin just in front of Yuuri’s ear.  “No one else’s,” he whispered.

 

* * *

 

 

Yuuri’s eyes widened in anticipation as he settled into the seats Victor procured for them.  “I can’t believe you did this!”

 

“I wanted this trip to be special, my beautiful Yuuri,” he purred next to Yuuri’s ear.  Given the excitement his partner displayed, he chose well.  “It is not a Russian ballet but I suppose the French can handle [ Romeo and Juliet](https://www.operadeparis.fr/en/season-15-16/ballet/romeo-et-juliette) .”

 

Yuuri cast his eyes in Victor’s direction, his countenance lit up.  “That just means that you will have to take me to more in Russia.”

 

“It would be my honor,” he replied, bowing gallantly.  “Given your dance background, how could I not?”  He took hold of Yuuri’s hand and didn’t let it go throughout the entire ballet. 

 

As the last curtain fell, Yuuri met his eyes.  “Vitya, I’ve never had such a beautiful evening.”

 

“I’ve never had such a beautiful date,” he responded, leaning forward to capture his partner’s lips.  “Will you join me for some champagne?”  He saw Yuuri shift uncomfortably and added, “In our room…no one but I will be there.”

 

“Okay.  That sounds lovely,” Yuuri agreed, following Victor out.

 

* * *

  

In their room, Yuuri removed his suit jacket and hung it up, taking Victor’s as well.  Turning his phone to a [ playlist](https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLqQR2rKU30kK0M8Ii8ZiSVtNa_Snl16Zr) , Victor smiled at the music filtering into the room.  Victor poured their drinks and offered Yuuri a glass of the bubbling liquid, wrapping his arm around his.  They clinked their glasses, as Victor murmured, “Life’s beauty.”  They each took a sip before unlinking their arms.  Victor’s hand teased up and down the black tie.  “I want to undress you, unwrap you slowly like the gift that you are,” he caressed, his voice lowered, velvety.

 

“I wouldn’t stop you,” Yuuri responded before he took another sip of champagne, his eyes sliding over Victor provocatively.  Victor watched that hand lift that glass, studied how those lips cradled the glass and took in the golden liquid, contemplated that liquid as it slid down that throat causing his Adam’s apple to bob. 

 

As if compelled, he found himself lowering his lips to brush them over Yuuri’s throat.  At that moment, he hated that they had a photo shoot the next day, that he would have to leave this body unmarked.  Sure, they would have excellent makeup artists.  However, Yuuri would be mortified.  He smiled to himself as he traced the line of Yuuri’s throat lightly, watching Yuuri lean into his hand already caught under his spell.  He would mark this canvas another day. 

 

Victor reached up to loosen the black tie, needing more access to Yuuri’s neck.  The knot slipped easily to his practiced hands and he tossed the tie to the side.  Yuuri took another sip of champagne, allowing Victor’s fingers and lips free reign over his body.  The buttons gave next, a kiss placed on each inch of newly exposed skin. 

 

Victor looked up as he reached for the band of Yuuri’s pants to meet those brown eyes that watched his every move.  Yuuri’s hand remained suspended, drink in hand.  He watched Yuuri swallow, that tongue dart out between those lips to lick over the balm Victor placed upon them just before they left that evening.  Standing, he lifted the glass from Yuuri’s finger and set it aside, pulling Yuuri roughly to him. 

 

Yuuri woke from his trance the moment Victor took possession of his lips, opening to Victor, tongue seeking him out greedily.  Victor smelled the white floral scent on Yuuri’s breath, tasting the citrus hints left behind by the champagne.  He answered Yuuri’s demanding tongue, sliding his along his partner’s, twisting and wrapping it, demanding to possess and to be possessed.

 

The kiss broke and he felt Yuuri’s fingers slipping the knot on his tie, the freedom of his shirt neck opening up to Yuuri’s exploring fingers, the warmth of Yuuri’s lips seeking their own taste.  Yuuri’s tongue traced down his clavicle as Yuuri released more buttons and pushed the dress shirt off his shoulders.  Victor gasped as he felt those lips close around his nipple, sucking and tasting with his tongue.  Fingers traced around the other nipple before pinching it just enough to cause pleasurable pain.  “God, Yuuri,” he breathed.  He heard Yuuri chuckle against his skin as the man kissed back up his body, pulling his shirt free and dropping it to the floor.

 

“Your turn,” he whispered, as his lips brushed against the skin behind Victor’s ear. 

 

Victor didn’t know when this became a game of tag but he was turned on by the erotic game Yuuri initiated.  Victor dropped down sharply before the brunette, jerking the shirt free of Yuuri’s pants sharply.  He finished with the buttons and the shirt found itself joining its partner on the floor.  Victor kissed along the defined ab muscles, his tongue dipping in and exploring every angle created by this man’s body.  He kissed and licked back up Yuuri’s torso, choosing to relinquish control back to Yuuri. 

 

Yuuri walked around Victor, giving the other man a view of how those heels showed off his ass in those slacks.  Yuuri slid his hand across Victor’s chest as he slipped behind the older man.  Victor felt the other man’s tongue followed by his hot breath down his spine.  He gasped, feeling the other man’s answer the movements with the edge of his nail tracing down the center of his chest, not marking, just making its presence known.  That hand reached the button that held his slacks together and was joined by its partner.  Fingers unfastened the waistband as Yuuri trailed his kisses up and nibbled at the nape of his neck before whispering, “All yours.”

 

Victor led Yuuri to the chair, and guided him to sit.  Lifting the brunette’s leg, he traced his fingers along his calf through his pant leg to rest on the red shoe.  He crossed that leg across Yuuri’s knee to hold the height and allow that leg to dangle.  “So beautiful,” he breathed.  His fingers slid the zipper down the back of the shoe, freeing the foot from its cage.  Setting the shoe aside, he lowered his lips to kiss the arch.  He heard Yuuri’s gasp and knew those brown eyes watched every move he made.  He sat back on his heels as he used his hands to massage that arch moving that massage up the leg of Yuuri’s pant to relax the muscle after wearing the heels all evening.  Lifting the foot off Yuuri’s knee, he set it down on the floor before raising the other leg to repeat the treatment.  With the second foot back on the floor, he raised up on his knees to brush a kiss over Yuuri’s.  “I’m yours,” he whispered against those lips.

 

Yuuri guided Victor up to his feet with his hands holding the man before him in the V of his knees.  He reached for the pants resting loosely on his partner’s hips.  Reaching up, he slowly slid the zipper down then edged the pants past Victor’s hips and over his thighs.  He carefully guided one foot out then the other before lightly folding the pants and setting them aside.  He kissed Victor’s hipbones then allowed the kiss to trace the path of the V of his hip until it disappeared into his briefs.  He picked it back up and traced the path up the other side using his tongue and lips.  He could see the strain against Victor’s black briefs.  He lightly traced along the length with one finger as he rose to his feet once more.  Taking Victor’s lips into his, he sucked on Victor’s lower lip, biting it lightly between his teeth before letting him go.  “Your move,” he murmured. 

 

Victor’s fingers went for Yuuri’s waistband.  His fingers unbuttoning the band, unzipping the front even as he continued to lightly tease with lips and teeth over Yuuri’s lips.  Sliding his fingers over the inside, he could feel the edge of silk.  He dropped down to his knees as he eased those pants down Yuuri’s hips, his breath catching in the revelation of the black silk and tulle confection that was revealed in the suspenders and panties connecting to black stockings.  He guided Yuuri’s feet out of the legs of the pants and sliding them out of his way, his focus captivated by the man before him that dared to wear something so provocative just for him.  He looked up to capture Yuuri’s gaze, taking note of the teasing smile on Yuuri’s lips.

 

“You don’t know how hard it is to keep from bending you over and fucking you right now,” he hissed. 

 

Yuuri answered him with a chuckle, running his hand through Victor’s hair, tussling it as they become buried into the tangles.  “You promised to unwrap me slowly,” he reminded the man kneeling weakly before him.  “I’m holding you to it.”

 

“Fuck,” he whispered.  He lowered his gaze slowly, the heat of it searing into Yuuri’s skin.  Victor traced over Yuuri’s hip, feeling the tulle and silk beneath his touch.  He then guided Yuuri’s leg to bend, tracing down the inner thigh lightly with his fingers before planting a kiss in the space between the stocking and panties.  He heard Yuuri hiss, felt those fingers in his hair once more, carding through his hair as Victor continued to explore the region with his lips.  Victor turned towards the stocking and released the first suspender clasp.   He traced up the bared strip of skin with his tongue.  Putting the leg back down, he continued to free the suspenders as he kissed just up above the stocking.  Moving to the other leg, he slowly moved around it, lifting it on the last suspender clasp to kiss the inner thigh of that leg.

 

Victor looked up to meet those brown eyes with his blue ones.  “Yours,” was all he could say. 

 

Yuuri’s lips parted, his fingers tracing down the side of Victor’s face.  Finger on his lover’s chin, he guided Victor back to his feet.  Yuuri lifted his lips to capture Victor’s, tasting the older man’s hunger in the heat of his response.  Yuuri broke free and kissed down Victor’s neck then chest, gracefully dropping to his knees.  He ran his finger along the band of Victor’s briefs before kissing up his clothed length.  Victor groaned at the promise of those lips through the fabric, straining further against the thread, the dampened fabric clinging to his skin.  Yuuri slid his hand up his inner thigh and cupped his balls as he rose to his feet once more.  Brushing his lips over Victor’s, he whispered, “What do you have for me next?”

 

Victor groaned.  Tightening his arms around Yuuri, he kneaded his hand into the younger man’s back, kissing him possessively.  He pushed the suspenders up around Yuuri’s waist as he dropped down before him once more.  Yuuri’s dripping length strained against the tulle of the panties and Victor made it his mission to free it.  Reaching for the elastic, he tugged it over Yuuri’s hips watching the younger man’s shaft spring free.  The panties still rested on the man’s hips, his ass still half contained in the tulle as Victor lowered his lips to capture his head in a kiss, tasting the salty precum as his tongue slid over the surface. 

 

Yuuri moaned and Victor felt Yuuri’s legs tremble in his arms.  Looking up, he could see that Yuuri had reached the edge of his strength.  Supporting Yuuri as he found his feet once more, Victor led the other man to the bed.  He guided the brunette down onto the mattress tracing his fingers down Yuuri’s torso.

 

“How do you want it?” he asked Yuuri tenderly.

 

“I want you inside me,” Yuuri confessed.  “But I need to be able to walk tomorrow.”

 

Victor laughed warmly.  “I’ll take care of you and make sure you are ready for tomorrow.”

 

“Then please, fuck me, Vitya,” he begged, reaching his fingers up to trace the curve of Victor’s chin.  “Make me yours once more.”

 

Victor lowered his lips to Yuuri’s, teasing and tasting them.  “You will always be mine,” he promised.  “Just as I’m always yours.”  Victor shifted to move down Yuuri’s body, freeing the younger man from the panties and himself from his briefs.  Reaching to the nightstand, he found the bottle of lube from where they left it the previous night.  A condom lay nearby ready.  A smile played at Victor’s lips.  Yuuri must have pulled it out earlier when he wasn’t looking.

 

“One day, I want you to fill me, Yuuri,” Victor murmured as he warmed the lube in his hand.

 

Yuuri nodded in agreement.  “One day.  I’m still learning about these new touches.  I don’t want to…mess up.”

 

“Is that why you chose to receive?” Victor asked with surprise.

 

Yuuri nodded once more.  “Partially.  I also…felt ready.  I knew I trusted you and that you would do your best not to hurt me.  I wanted to shed…my last hang ups.  I wanted to fully know you.”

 

“I look forward to when you take me.  For tonight, though…”   He allowed his voice trail off as his fingers tracked down the path to the waiting ring of muscles, smiling to himself as they gave easily to his touch.  He soon had one finger fully encompassed by Yuuri, the younger man’s lips parted, his eyes half veiled as he focused on the pleasure Victor began to awaken in him.  A second finger soon followed the first, opening him up easily after the previous night’s activities.  Soon a third met them, and he located Yuuri’s prostate, teasing it as he continued to prepare his lover. 

 

“Please, Vitya, I need you,” Yuuri pleaded. 

 

Victor smiled up at him as he removed his hand.  He reached for the condom and rolled it on his own length, already threatening to burst after all of the foreplay.  Lining up, he pressed slowly into Yuuri.  He felt Yuuri’s silk stockinged legs wrap around him and he groaned as the other man used his legs to pull him in deeper.  “Yuuuuri,” he moaned.  “My beautiful, beautiful Yuuri…”  The other man was reaching for him, pulling him into a kiss as he found himself fully seated into the other man.

 

“Vitya,” he begged, his body squirming beneath Victor.  The older man couldn’t help the smile as he willingly gave the other man what he sought, moving in and out at a steadily faster pace.  With the prelude, he knew he wouldn’t last long.  As tight as Yuuri held him within, he knew he wouldn’t last long.  God, he was tight.  He could already feel the heat pooling, the tingling in his extremities.  Was Yuuri coming as undone as he was?

 

Incoherent words and phrases slipped from the younger man’s lips as he raised his hips to meet Victor.  Somewhere in the mix of Japanese and English, Victor heard his name in its many forms.  Victor.  Vitya.  Even Vicchan.  The word  _ anata _ slipped free and nearly undid him on the spot as he recognized the intimacy of the claim.  He wanted this man.  He wanted him to be his, to be his lover, his partner, his husband.  He’d give him anything at this point.

 

“Vitya…close…” Yuuri cried softly and Victor knew he was as well.  He reached down and stroked Yuuri even as he chased after his own release.  He cried out even as he felt Yuuri spill out around his hand.  He continued to milk out his lover’s orgasm as he rode his own out within him, finally collapsing on top of him.

 

“ _ Lyubov moya _ ,” he murmured against Yuuri’s cheek.  “Do you know how much I love you?”

 

Yuuri reached up and cupped his cheek as he stared up at him tenderly.  “I may have an inkling,” he teased warmly. 

 

Victor dropped his forehead to Yuuri’s.  “I guess I’ll have to make it clearer,” he answered, followed by a flurry of kisses and tickling fingers.   Yuuri’s giggles warmed him within.  If he died today, he’d die a happy man.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It certainly seems Yuuri is coming into his own as Victor's lover. It seems like Paris brings out lots of sexy times. Well, they do call it the "city of love". ;)
> 
> As always, I love to hear your comments. In a hurry, leave Kudos. Thank you for reading.


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Photoshoot!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A short lovely chapter of fluff...and those gorgeous red shoes reappear.
> 
> Thank you, BluSkates, for taking care of my story!

* * *

 

Yuuri pushed up out of bed and found Victor already up and dressed.  “Why didn’t you wake me?”

 

“You were so adorable as you slept,” Victor offered as if that’s all the explanation needed.  Yuuri raised an eyebrow as if saying,  _ really? _  Victor laughed warmly.  “I woke up early and read for a while after taking Cocoa out for a walk.  There was plenty of time so I let you sleep, love.”

 

Yuuri found his feet and was making his way to the closet.  “Okay.  Well, let me get ready.  How long until we leave?”  He glanced over his shoulder.

 

“You have at least an hour,” Victor answered warmly.  “Do you want breakfast?”

 

“Yes, please,” he called as he disappeared into the bathroom.  “Something light,” he called out.

 

Yuuri came out dressing casually as Victor’s choice of dress had indicated.  They’d be redressed at the photoshoot.  It wasn’t Yuuri’s first experience before the camera, just his first international experience, his first international sponsor.   Victor was a magnet but Yuuri wasn’t sure if Victor had pulled good things toward him or if Yuuri had merely been pulled into Victor’s much wider universe.  It was frightening at times, overwhelming.  Yet, he found himself yearning for the adventure Victor offered him, strengthened by Victor’s calming presence.

 

“Tea, eggs, and rice…good choice.”  Yuuri smiled at Victor’s knowledge of his habits.

 

“It’s what you would have had at home,” he answered as he lifted a mug to his lips.  “I had the same but with coffee.”

 

“Black?”  Yuuri raised an eyebrow in surprise.

 

“My coffee doesn’t always have to be a dessert,” Victor protested.  “This is a good blend.  If it’s less expensive, I prefer to cover it up with creamers.”

 

“I didn’t realize that,” Yuuri answered as he lifted his own cup to his lips.  “But I understand it as I’m particular about my tea.”

 

“Exactly.  I brought this from your mother’s collection.”

 

“How thoughtful!  Thank you, Vitya,” he responded, although his sparkling eyes would have been thanks enough for Victor.  He breathed in the aroma.  It smelled like home.  He always felt disconnected and a bit lost when he had traveled for competitions or school.  Something simple as a familiar blend of tea grounded him.  That, coupled with his preferred breakfast, would make this day much easier to approach.  “For everything.”

 

“Of course,” he answered as if it was the most natural thing in the world.  “I know days like this are draining for you,  _ lyubov moya _ .  I wanted to do something to make it easier for you.”

 

* * *

 

 

The three of them headed towards the set' Victor walking with a familiarity of his surroundings suggesting he’s visited Paris on a number of occasions, Yuuri holding onto Victor’s arm enjoying the comfort of his presence, Cocoa on lead staying close to Yuuri as they navigated the crowded streets.  “They’ll start in the studio where we will be made up and dressed.  Then they will likely have a few other locations lined up for photoshoots.  I know I heard mention of evening sun.  Therefore, it may be a long day.  They treat you well, though.  Ah, here we are,” he concluded as he guided them into a modern building that blended well with the mix of modern and traditional architecture that was Paris. 

 

“Victor!” they were greeted by a  very beautiful woman with long, dark hair.  “And this must be Yuuri, your love!”

 

Victor laughed warmly.  “Yes, Leandre.  Yuuri, allow me to introduce Leandre Bellamy, both a friend and the marketing executive for  _ Scentual Allure _ .  They developed my scent  _ Irrésistible _ based on my program a few years back and now they’ve created yours.  Will you allow us to enjoy  _ Éros _ ,  _ ma chère _ ?”

 

Leandre smiled warmly.  “Of course, come with me.  You speak French, Yuuri?”

 

Yuuri shrugged sheepishly.  “Only what they teach in textbooks.  I am certain my accent is horrendous.”

 

“Do not worry.  Our employees are fluent in English.  If you wish to practice your French, however, it will only be met with gentle criticism and correction.  We are accustomed to international clients.  Here we are.”  The door opened up in a lab, clean and white.  “Gerard, please introduce Yuuri to his scent  _ Éros.”  _

 

The man brought him a dark brown vial.  Lifting the glass stopper, he indicated how to waft the scent in his direction.  Yuuri closed his eyes as he took in the smell.  “I smell cherry blossoms…and I think, cinnamon?”  Leandre nodded.  “Something else.  Sandalwood?”

 

“You have a good nose.  Do you know what are the main scent notes for Victor’s  _ Irrésistible _ ?”

 

Yuuri smiled.  He spent the previous night with his nose settled next to Victor’s pulse and the scent cradled him.  “Cardamom and cedar.  Like winter.”

 

“And you are…spring, I think.  Warm, fresh, innocent...but most alluring.”  She watched as Yuuri blushed profusely at her compliment which brought out a warm, teasing laugh from her lips.  “Charming.  You are perfect.”

 

* * *

 

 

They were taken to the photography studio afterwards where they met with makeup artists and stylists.  Yuuri watched as Victor was led away by a team of artists and he turned to his own team.  They fussed back and forth in French and he didn’t catch most of it.  However, when they addressed him, they returned to English with ease.  His glasses were removed and they asked if he ever wore contacts.  He answered, “At times.  I have them with me.”  Soon, he had his contacts in place as they fussed with his hair, dressed him, made him up.  Once they finished, he stood before the mirror and he didn’t recognize himself.  

 

Mizuno banked on his athleticism and didn’t deviate much from his appearance.  The perfumer, on the other hand, was developing a persona. _Éros_ would have an identity that spoke to the scent.  He still maintained that innocence but they created a mystery about him; still warm but out of reach; reserved for one person alone. 

 

Entering that studio, his eyes fell upon that man, his blue eyes widening in appraisal, a whistle slipping free of his lips.  He strode across the studio, reaching for the other man.  “Wow!  So beautiful, _lyubov moya_ ,” he greeted, his hands running down his arms resting on Yuuri’s elbows.

 

Yuuri dropped his eyes shyly.  The photographer was watching the interaction.  “There. That expression.  Hold it.”  Victor released him and backed off the set.  Yuuri found himself in the middle of the shoot before he realized it. 

 

The photographer picked up right away that Victor was the key to getting the expressions he sought.  Whispered exchanges between the two would lead Victor on the set, where he’d murmur something in Yuuri’s ear or provide a certain touch.  One after another until the series of shots were complete. 

 

“Now, we were thinking something different for the  _ Irrésistible _ campaign,” the photographer Adrien suggested.  “I was thinking that we’d have you seated at a model’s feet looking up in her direction.”

 

“Are you particular about the model?” Victor negotiated even as he took out his phone.  They conversed back and forth in French before they seemed to settle the negotiation. 

 

Yuuri suddenly found himself whisked into makeup once more.  Someone was sent on an errand.  Then miraculously, Yuuri’s red shoes and stockings made an appearance.  Yuuri raised an eyebrow and turned to Victor with a look of betrayal.  “Victor?  What did you do?” he cried out, a shrill panic edging his voice.

 

“If I’m going to be looking up at someone besottedly, then I needed the appropriate inspiration,” he answered as if that explained everything.

 

“These will be public!” Yuuri insisted.

 

“Of course…but it’s art,” he soothed.  “Not the same as bedroom photos.  Trust me.  Trust Adrien.”

 

Yuuri raised an eyebrow, his expression doubtful.  “Trust you.  You both plotted behind my back.”

 

“I didn’t want you to overthink it,” Victor reassured him.  “I will never lead you astray, Yuuri.  You get approval on the shots before they are used.”

 

Yuuri found himself seated in a leather chair dressed in his dress shirt, jacket, tie loosened, black briefs, his silk stockinged legs crossed at the knee, one red heel dangling with the other planted firmly before him.  Victor was seated at his feet, leaning against those knees for a few shots, his shirt unbuttoned and looking up for a few more shots.   Victor leaned forward on impulse and pressed a kiss at the bend of Yuuri’s knee gaining him a sharp look from the other man and another few shots for the photographer.

 

Then as the session wrapped up, Yuuri reached down impulsively and tussled Victor’s hair with red lacquered fingernails peeking through the silver.  Victor reacted beautifully, laughing in genuine affection as he raised his head to capture the other man’s eyes.  The photographer captured the entire series of motions and reactions.

 

They even called Cocoa in and the dog jumped up onto Victor’s shoulder and their affection for their four-legged companion was evident.  The last few shots were taken and the session was closed out. 

 

It was a risk but the perfume company loved it, all of it, and were willing to take it.  They would market the two scents together,  _ Irrésistible _ and  _ Éros _ .  They, of course, took some solo shots with Victor but the company was in love with the couple as a single unit and they were already out and open about their relationship.  It was decided to market on it.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love this chapter and I hope you do as well. Thank you for reading!


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chris arrives with a surprise of his own. Oh, and enjoy the fluffy Chris moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, BluSkates, for getting this ready for me...and for helping me pick out an outfit for Chris.

* * *

 

 

Friday greeted them with a knock to their door.  Yuuri shoved the duvet off of his face and glared at the door as Victor deserted the bed, taking his warmth away from Yuuri’s side.  Reaching for a robe, he crossed the floor and opened the door.  “Chris!  You’re early!”

 

“I arrived last night and checked into my room.  I brought a surprise that demanded I be up early and at the airport.”  The man stepped aside and there stood Phichit, pulling his travel mask down and sharing his warm smile and wink.

 

“Phichit!” Yuuri squealed, pushing himself out of bed and running across the room to embrace the other man. 

 

“Since when do you not sleep in pajamas?” Phichit teased as Yuuri stepped back.  Yuuri glanced down and blushed, realizing he was exposed in his boxer briefs.

 

“Nothing we don’t see in the locker room,” Chris covered, throwing an arm around Yuuri’s shoulder and hauling him into a hug.  “Now, we are all together again.  What kind of mischief should we get into?”

Victor and Yuuri still had to meet with  _ Scentual Allure _ to film commercials.  However, by late afternoon, they were free to join their friends.  After a late afternoon lunch that blurred into dinner, they returned to their room to change, Yuuri had agreed to a nightclub since he was surrounded by friends.

 

Victor stepped out [ wearing](https://menfash.us/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/Blazers-for-Men.jpg) jeans, a white v-neck, and a dark blazer pushed up to his elbows.  He chose for Yuuri, dressing his partner in  [ jeans ](http://imgur.com/5PhMFB5) , a maroon tee, and a black blazer with a subtle plaid.  Phichit [ wore](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/e5/ab/7e/e5ab7ee50dd23af3d38b29d7c9a121a5.jpg) a blue long sleeve button up with lace matched with white skinny jeans, his makeup highlighting his eyes and lips.  Chris rounded out the group topping off his  jeans with a layered deep gray  [ henley ](https://ae01.alicdn.com/kf/HTB1RHF7KFXXXXbLXpXXq6xXFXXX5/Free-Shipping-New-Men-s-PoloT-shirts-Leisure-Shirts-Men-s-Shirts-Hot-Men-s-Long.jpg) with black peaking out from behind.  

 

As they entered the club, it was clear that they came as pairs, Victor wrapping an arm protectively around Yuuri’s waist.  Yuuri held Cocoa’s lead and let Victor smooth over the dog’s entrance into the club.  Chris casually threaded a finger through Phichit’s belt loop, allowing his hand to rest on the younger man’s hip.  Phichit rose up on his toes, sliding a hand around Chris’s neck as he pulled the taller man’s ear to hear his words.  As Phichit released him, Chris shared a contented smile with his closest friend, the blue eyed man watching him with a knowing smile of his own.  Chris was definitely smitten.

 

Phichit held Yuuri’s free hand as they found their table and soon the group had drinks before them.  Yuuri leaned towards Victor.  “I don’t want to drink too much.”

 

“Don’t worry.  I’ll take care of you,” Victor promised.  As the night progressed, though, Victor noticed Yuuri didn’t order another drink.  Rather, he shared in Victor’s, which was fine with the older man.  Phichit teased him, knowing what Yuuri was like with several drinks in him. 

 

A song cued up and Yuuri grabbed Victor’s hand.  “Dance with me,” he urged, pulling Victor onto the floor as [ Toxic](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zWlMSjAZOzk) played.  Victor knew Yuuri was past tipsy, his movements loose and careless, as he gave into the fluidity of the music around him.  Two more dances and they left the floor.  Victor handed Yuuri a bottle of water and drank one down himself before he ordered another drink.  Yuuri leaned on Victor through the next song, watching Phichit and Chris on the dance floor.

 

“They look good together,” Victor commented.

 

Yuuri nodded, his movements still loose and exaggerated.  “Phichit needs someone who understands him.  So many people think they love him but they never truly get to know him.  I don’t like it when Phichit is hurt.  He hides it with smiles.  But I know when he is hurting.”

 

“I felt that way before I met you.  I became a master at the fake smile.”

 

“You had Chris,” Yuuri reminded him.

 

Victor’s lip twitched.  “I do have Chris and he is a good friend.  Just as Phichit has you.  But you and I know that’s not the same.”

 

Yuuri snuggled into Victor’s side.  Cocoa had her head on Yuuri’s lap and Yuuri petted her fur.  Victor watched the purposeful movements of that hand.  It was a sign of stress.  He sent back the next drink asking for more water instead.  When their friends rejoined them, Victor asked if they were ready to go.  They readily agreed, seeing Yuuri drowsy against Victor’s side.

 

As they left the club, the moon stood brilliant against the night sky even while the stars were obscured by city lights.  Yuuri held Victor’s hand, giggling at something Phichit said when his demeanor shifted.  Victor felt it before the others were aware, a tightening of his hand, a stiffening in his step.  He turned to Yuuri in concern and could see the paleness of his face and the fear in his eyes.  Cocoa wrapped around his feet pawing at his hand.  The others stopped to look at their friend.

 

“What’s wrong, Yuuri?” Victor asked gently, touching his lover’s chin and lifting it so that he could hold the other man’s eyes. 

 

“I-I don’t know.  I’m just suddenly afraid.  Stay close to me.  Please.  I don’t want anything to happen.  To any of you.” 

 

His friends drew near and they could feel the tremble in Yuuri’s touch as he reached out for a tactile connection with each of them.  Chris wrapped a strong arm around Yuuri’s shoulder, pressing his cheek against the other man.  “Don’t worry, Yuuri.  We’ve got you.”

 

“He didn’t threaten just me, Chris.  He threatened Victor and Phichit.”  Suddenly Yuuri had his arms wrapped around Chris and the Swiss man held onto Yuuri as he looked over Yuuri’s head towards Victor, catching the deep concern in Victor’s expression.  Phichit huddled in close to Yuuri wrapping his arms around both Chris and Yuuri.  Yuuri’s tears dampened Chris’s shirt as the other man comforted Yuuri gently whispering soft French phrases.

 

“Lullabies,” Victor whispered.  “I sing lullabies and folk songs when he’s like this.”

 

Chris nodded in understanding, searching his memory.  “You are Victor’s treasure, so let me sing this song for you.”  Chris slipped into the French lyrics of [ _J’envoie Valser_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1nSAwgCoy2s) .  A few pedestrians stopped and listened to the clear voice singing the familiar song as they passed them.

 

Yuuri finally looked up at Chris, finding his composure.  “I’m sorry,” he whispered.

 

“Don’t be,” Chris reassured him, brushing a stray tear from Yuuri’s cheek.  “I’m here for you just as they are.  You can cry on my shoulder any day,  _ mon cher _ .”

 

Yuuri smiled weakly.  “Thank you.  I hate it when I get like this.”

 

“Let’s get you back to your room,” Chris suggested.  Yuuri nodded, accepting his friend’s guidance. 

 

Glancing around, he called, “Cocoa?”

 

“I have her,” Victor murmured stepping forward to gently take his lover’s hand.  Yuuri looked down to find the lead now wrapped around his fingers.  Yuuri glanced to Chris’s other side and saw a concerned Phichit with his arms wrapped around Chris’s arm.  Satisfied that all were safe and within reach, he followed their lead as they took him back to his room.

 

* * *

 

 

As they stopped before Yuuri’s door, Chris and Phichit made to depart when Yuuri reached out a hand.  “Come back.”  They exchanged glances then nodded. 

 

“We’ll return once we’ve changed to our sleepware.  Okay?” Phichit offered.  Yuuri offered a tiny smile and a nod.   Chris wrapped an arm around the other man’s shoulder as they went down the hall to their room. 

 

Victor guided Yuuri into their room.  He pulled out fresh pajamas and helped Yuuri get dressed before settling his lover into the middle of the bed.  Returning a few minutes later, he handed Yuuri something for a headache and a glass of water.  “Drink all of it,” he instructed.  “I already had mine.”

 

A knock on the door signaled the arrival of their friends.  Phichit had his computer and soon they were all nested into the center of the bed and Yuuri found himself appreciating the large surface, no longer feeling lost but instead warmly loved.  They watched a number of YouTube videos and laughed through several stories as they caught up with each other’s news.  

 

Phichit had made connections with some officials that were willing to let him organize an ice show next summer in Thailand.  Victor told him about the one he was organizing in Hasetsu and Phichit asked if he had enough skaters.  Victor said he could always make room for one more.  

 

Chris described the  [ aerial  ](http://www.aerialsilksatlanta.com/) dance class he was taking and Yuuri looked like he was drooling with envy.  “Do you think they have something like that in St. Petersburg?” he asked, meeting Victor’s eyes hopefully.

 

Victor chuckled.  “We’ll check into it...but I don’t want you to risk injury so I want you to really look into the risks before you sign up.”

 

Yuuri shrugged, a stubborn set in his jaw.  “That’s what Celestino said when I signed up for pole dancing.  I came out of it just fine.”

 

They all snuggled in together as the conversation began to lull, caught up on each other’s news. Victor smirked mischievously,  “The last time we did this, I think we shared a number of stories about Chris and myself.  I think it’s time to get some Phichit/Yuuri stories.”

 

Yuuri immediately covered his face and shrank deeper into the bed.  “Oh, god!  Phichit!”

 

“I have one,” Phichit volunteered quickly, his eyes flicking over Yuuri with devious pleasure.

 

Yuuri removed his hands to met the other man’s eyes.  Chewing his lip,  “That’s what I’m afraid of.”

 

“When I first arrived in Detroit I surprised Yuuri with my ability to get into places that my age should have blocked me.  However, I’m very good with a computer.”  That statement seemed to be enough to explain everything so he continued on with his story.  “Every so often I noticed Yuuri would slip out of our apartment, all suspicious, and return flush with cash.  I could never get him to tell me about this one night a week job, so one night I followed him.  There was a club in downtown Detroit called  _ Incognito _ .”

 

Victor and Chris exchanged glances, and Victor added, “We’ve been there.  It’s a well-known strip club.”

 

“Exactly!  Not really the venue I expected to find my shy best friend employed...gainfully employed, I might add.  I got inside and learned it was amateur night.  Yuuri threw back a couple of drinks and headed back stage.”

 

“Liquid courage,” Yuuri supplied quietly.  “I was too nervous without it but…the money was phenomenal.”

 

“I knew Yuuri took pole dancing classes and that Yuuri could handle a pole like a pro.  However, I didn’t expect him to make bank on it,” Phichit added, causing the group to erupt into laughter. Even Yuuri had to laugh at the memory.

 

Chris nodded in agreement.  “Having danced with him, I have to agree.  Skilled and provocative.”

 

“So there I stood in the crowd, mouth wide open, watching my best friend in little more than a pair of briefs and a zorro mask performing very erotically before an enthusiastic audience.  Might I add, this was my very innocent, very shy best friend.”

 

“I think I brought home $2k that night.  It was one of the better crowds.  I normally could bring home close to a thousand, though.  It takes about four songs, but not a bad night’s work.  They offered me a regular position but of course, skating took up all of my time.”

 

Victor just stared at Yuuri for a moment.  “You know, I always wondered what it’d be like to date a stripper,” he finally stated taking a drink of water. 

 

Chris laughed at him outright.  “The first night you two actually talked, he stripped and climbed the pole with me.  Hell, for that matter, you dated me!”

 

“True, but up until now, I didn’t realize that this was a career option for my love.  Yuuri has been paid.  That makes him a professional.”

 

“Well, technically it was ‘amateur night’ and I did have to become a lush to pull it off,” Yuuri argued.

 

“Performance anxiety,” Phichit confirmed.

 

“Among others,” Yuuri added.  “I think I’m fine closing that chapter of my life.  I’m just glad they allowed me to perform with anonymity.”

 

“The name of the club was  _ Incognito _ , anonymity was their calling card,” Phichit pointed out.

 

Chris stretched out thoughtfully.  “I have to wonder if you performed while Victor and I visited Detroit.”

 

“Was it amateur night?  I never performed on a standard night.”

 

“Honestly, I can’t recall.  I just knew there were some hot men performing that night.”

 

Yuuri chuckled.  “That was every night.  Amateur night was on Thursday.”

 

“Did you perform anything other than the pole?” Victor asked as he ran his finger up Yuuri’s arm suggestively.

 

Yuuri rolled his eyes.  “Amateurs did not perform lap dances…and considering how much I had to drink to take to the pole, I’d have been a hot mess if I had to do a lap dance.  Honestly, that was another deterrent to accepting their offer.  I didn’t want to get that…personal…with the clients.”

 

Victor couldn’t help but let his imagination wander.  Yuuri turned back to the other two even as Victor pulled him tight against him.  Chris raised an eyebrow and rose, taking Phichit’s hand.  “I think that might be our cue to leave.  Good night Yuuri, Victor.”

 

Murmured “good nights” floated back and forth as the two friends let themselves out.  Victor’s lips already found their way to Yuuri’s as he murmured hungry thoughts.  “One day, perhaps you will give me a…private show,” Victor suggested.

 

Yuuri chuckled, wrapping his arms around Victor’s neck.  “Maybe…some day.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a busy day tomorrow so I wanted to get this up and a chapter up for Glitters. Enjoy them both and send some love. I am sorting out story lines for both so there may be a day or two delay before I have more to share. 
> 
> Don't worry...JuNoWriMo is here and these stories are definitely part of my June projects. (Plus, I'm in summer break!) 
> 
> I've also got a couple of other projects in the works. If you read Semicolon...before it fizzled out, I'm taking it down temporarily for a rework. I'm removing it from "strictly cannon compliant" to open it up. I'm also merging it with the other story line I put up around that time as they are very similar. So once that is reworked, I'll repost it fresh and new. There is also an OtaYuri fic I'm playing with based on a single song and heavy into Otabek's story. The other project...it will be a surprise. However, if you are subscribed to my name, you shouldn't miss it. Oh, and I should be revisiting some of the Best Friend Tales now that I have time. So much going on in my head. Too bad I can't just plug up to the computer and download it. Have fun!.


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys are back home in Hasetsu...and jetlag.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the edits, BluSkates.
> 
> It's short...but a lot of emotion, readers!

* * *

 

 

Victor rolled Yuuri into his arms as Sunday morning bloomed in Hasetsu.  His jetlagged darling would likely sleep through the day.  He needed his rest with both a therapy session and Yuri arriving in Japan on Monday.  Brushing a kiss over the hairline, Victor considered his plan for the day and finally decided to start with a walk and spend some time with Makkachin.  He slipped his arm free from Yuuri and dressed quietly.  Using a soft voice, he called the dogs to take them out.

 

He bumped into Mari leaning against the side of the inn with cigarette in hand.  “Good morning!” he greeted.

 

“Yuuri sleeping it off?” she inquired.

 

Victor grinned.  “He doesn’t handle jetlag well.  I’ll book our competition flights with plenty of rest time.”

 

She put out her cigarette and moved to head inside.

 

“Will you take Cocoa up to Yuuri?  In case he wakes up, I’d hate for him to be alone.  I’m going to take a walk.”

 

“Sure,” she answered as she accepted the lead.  She headed inside as Victor cleaned up after the dogs.  A trash receptacle was nearby and he added the leavings as he tightened the lead and guided Makkachin from the private yard.

 

* * *

 

 

The beach winds greeted him like an old friend, blowing through him as he released Makkachin, watching her as she bounced around in the waves.  Moments like this belied her age, made her seem almost a puppy.  He knew, though, that she would feel it later and sleep.  He pulled out the collapsible Frisbee and tossed it for her, laughing as she leapt to catch it.  They played for a while before she came and lay down next to his feet.  He sat on the sand next to her reaching his hand down to muss her fur.

 

“My Yuuri is healing…but we had a short spell while we were away, Makka.  I wonder if he will ever be truly free of the memories of the rape.  I wish…I could just take it away from him.”

 

Victor sighed sadly, watching the waves reach into the beach, taking a little of it back out with it.

 

“Sometimes we are one, so intermingled in one another that I’m not sure where I end and he begins.  At other times, there is this wall of separation where he is trapped in his inner pain and I can’t reach him.  I hate those times.  I want to reach in and pull him out.  At those times, I feel like I’m failing him.”

 

He looked down at Makkachin as she huffed in reply.  Smiling, he nodded.  “I know.  He has more than me reaching out for him.  This time it was Chris.  His fear was so intense for both Phichit and my safety that he couldn’t reach out to us.  So he grabbed hold of Chris.  And…Chris caught him, holding him up, even singing to him.  He rescued my Yuuri when I couldn’t break through that wall.  I need…to learn to lean on others more as well.  Yuuri does it out of survival.”

 

He didn’t know when his smile faded into a frown, when his thoughts went from Yuuri’s pain to his own.  “I am…not so good at it.  I’m so used to closing off my pain.   _ Be pleasing. _  That has been drilled into me.   _ Be charming _ .  God, sometimes I just want to show my ugly side.  It slips through sometimes.  And…then I regret it.  I know how precise and surgical I can cut someone and put them in their place.  I hope…Yuuri never learns that part of me.  I don’t know how he’d respond to that part of me.”

  

* * *

  

Yuuri woke up…alone.  Reaching out, he felt a wet tongue greet his hand with a comforting lick…except, he didn’t feel comforted.  He closed his eyes and squeezed them shut tightly, drawing up into himself.   _ Fuck! _  He pushed himself out of bed.

 

His clothes were scratching at his skin.  The light was pulling at his senses.  He closed the shutters.  Digging around in the drawers, he found what he was looking for.  The t-shirt was made of the softest fabric.  Gray.  Dark.  He found a pair of sweats of similar fabric.  They were Victor’s…still smelled like him despite laundering.  He pulled them on and sank to the floor, feeling himself implode.  His breathing hitched, the sob ripping out of him.

 

Memories crashed at him from every direction.  He was drowning.  The onslaught overwhelmed him.  He curled in on himself.  He was gasping for air.  Fighting the sobs.

 

Someone was there.  Firm hands lifted him up.  He curled into that neck, knew that scent.  He held onto that body, clinging for dear life.

 

He was being carried.  The body supporting him sank down, wrapping around him, cradling him in his lap.

 

They sat.

 

In silence.

 

Clinging to one another.

 

Yuuri pushed up finally, looking into blue eyes.

 

“H-how did you know?”

 

“I came to check on you after my walk.”

 

Yuuri snuggled up into his chest.  Victor’s scent surrounded him, comforted him, grounded him.

“I don’t…know why,” he murmured.

 

“You don’t have to,” Victor answered, his voice wrapping around Yuuri in warm comfort, his sureness solidifying Yuuri’s presence.

 

“I need…” Yuuri struggled with the words.

 

“Whatever…I’m here.  For you.”  Victor’s hands were running up and down Yuuri’s back and side, surrounding him with comfort, blanketing him with Victor’s presence.

 

“Stay…for now…until I can…”  His words faded but he pointed towards the door.  Victor tightened his arms, reassuring him that he understood.

 

They remained wrapped together, Victor leaning against the wall, Yuuri curled up in his lap, his knees drawn into his chest, his cheek pressed into Victor’s chest, an hour passing them by, then another.  Victor just held him, responding when Yuuri spoke but otherwise maintaining silence, maintaining stillness, grounding Yuuri, holding him together.

 

Finally, Yuuri shifted, pulling away from him, looking up, vulnerable.

 

“I’m ready,” he whispered.

 

“What do you want to do?” Victor murmured.

 

“I still…need solitude.  But I need movement.  Can we go to the studio?”

 

“We can…but you need to eat.  Will you allow me to put something together?  I can bring it back here.”

 

Yuuri nodded.

 

“Is a shower too much?” Victor suggested, remembering that Yuuri struggled with self-care at times like this.

 

“No.  I can do that.  Will you…join me?” Yuuri lifted his gaze, his expression unguarded.

 

Victor knew the blessing to be included in Yuuri’s solitude, to be considered so much a part of him.  He nodded.   “We will shower.  Then you put these clothes back on and gather our dance gear while I make something to eat.”

 

* * *

 

 

Yuuri walked to the studio shrouded, his hoodie over his head, sunglasses covering his eyes, his head downcast.  He held onto Cocoa’s lead and Victor’s hand.  Victor had Makka in his other and led Yuuri down the familiar path.  Arriving at the studio, Victor fished out his key, a gift from Minako weeks past as she realized how much Victor cared for her protégé.

 

They left the lights off in the studio and even pulled down the panels to cover the windows, dimming it further.  Yuuri moved to the barre and began to stretch.

 

“Do you want music?” Victor murmured.

 

Yuuri nodded.  “Something soft.”

 

[ [ Playlist with dancing ](https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLqQR2rKU30kL5cGIbCOO0h-zZTk0CpDkW) ]

or

[ [ Playlist from original artists ](https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLqQR2rKU30kJqk_l4X6JK5OEEAFEVMJMD) ]

 

Playing around with his phone, Victor finally settled on a playlist.  The music filtered into the room as Victor joined Yuuri at the barre, mirroring his stretches.  When Yuuri faced away from Victor to turn his stretch, Victor moved to settle in front of him once more, needing to watch Yuuri’s expression.

 

As the next song cued up, he watched Yuuri move from the barre and into the space, leaning into the music, allowing it to wind its way around him.  Victor watched as Yuuri gave himself over to the music, frozen and fascinated at how the music and Yuuri become one.

 

This was what drew Victor to study Yuuri further when he first began to see the man as a competitor.  Yuuri could abandon himself into the music.  His research had taken him to videos that Phichit had posted of him dancing, skating, losing himself into his solitude.  The loneliness Yuuri expressed in the vidoes spoke to Victor.  It felt familiar.  It sparked something in Victor that didn’t start to fully bloom until he met Yuuri in person.

 

That Yuuri was so distant at first, shy, uncertain…and he ran.  Victor smiled at that memory.  Then the banquet happened.  And they danced.  From that first touch, Victor knew he was gone.  Nothing would ever be the same again.  No one else would ever be enough.  He was addicted to the perfect imperfection that was Yuuri Katsuki.

 

Yuuri turned to him at that moment and reached for him.   Victor joined him on the dancefloor.  They began to answer each other’s movements to “ [ Give me Love ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j8cADX87-2I) ” by Ed Sheeran.  Yuuri laughed softly at some point as they come together.

 

“What?” Victor asked, eyebrows raised in curiosity.

 

“I was just thinking…you listen to a lot of Ed Sheeran,” he answered as they parted.  When they came back together, he added, “I remember that video you created.”

 

“I listen to a lot of different music.  Sometimes this artist fits my emotions…but there are so many more.”  And as those words were spoken, “ [ Give Me Strength ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KFc-ToicUNc) ” filled the air and Yuuri wound his arms around Victor.  Their movements faded into one another as Victor took the lead, keeping them close to one another.

 

“This is me,” Yuuri whispered.  “You bring something out of me in the way you give me strength.”

 

“This is also me,” Victor added quietly.  “I was a complete mess covered by a veneer, close to falling apart, forcing myself to hold it together for  _ the next performance _ .  I don’t know how I would still be together, though, if it wasn’t for you.  I was close to breaking down.”

 

Yuuri rested his head on Victor’s shoulder.  “Let’s hold each other up,” he whispered.

 

Victor tightened his hold on Yuuri.  “Always,” he murmured in reply.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I struggled with this at first. I've been writing a lot of emotion lately. Send me some hugs.


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yurio arrives. Victor struggles with inner battles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First scene is NSFW.
> 
> Thank you, BluSkates, for looking through this for me. I appreciate you more than you know.

* * *

 

 

 

Yuuri snuggled into Victor as Monday morning dawned.  Victor brushed kisses into his hair and Yuuri lifted his lips to reach out to the man.  Victor’s chuckle warmed him just before capturing Yuuri’s lips. Yuuri moaned softly, coming further out of his slumber.   Restless hands explored his body, sliding down his back, around his ass with a squeeze before pulling his thigh up.  Victor’s kisses beginning soft soon became insistent.

 

Breaking from the kiss, Yuuri fluttered his eyes open and smiled up at Victor.  “Good morning,” he murmured.

 

“Mmmm…morning,  _ lyubov moya _ ,” he replied, his voice both soft and gruff.  Victor rolled his hips bringing out another moan from his lover.  “Is that a yes?”

 

Yuuri laughed under his breath.  “Was there any question?”  Reaching up, he tangled his fingers into Victor’s hair and pulled him into another kiss. “Besides…I don’t think we can do this with Yura next door.  The walls are too thin.”

 

Victor gaped at him.

 

Yuuri arched an eyebrow.  “He’s fifteen.  Let’s not traumatize the child too much,” he deadpanned.

 

Victor’s lip quirked.  “Then we’d better make it good.”  He punctuated that statement by rolling Yuuri onto his back, his hand still on Yuuri’s thigh as he rolled his hips against Yuuri’s.  “You have too much clothing on,” he commented reaching for the t-shirt’s hem, lifting it over Yuuri’s head as Yuuri rose up off the bed.  Not wasting time, he went for the sweats next.  “I see at least your underwear is yours,” Victor chuckled, nuzzling the bulge forming under the fabric and breathing in Yuuri’s musky scent.

 

“Your clothes are softer…everything screamed against my nerves yesterday,” Yuuri protested, a pout forming on his lips.

 

Victor crawled up his body and sucked on that lower lip before moving to deepen his kiss.  “We’ll have to remedy that.  I’m taking you shopping when we get to St. Petersburg.”   He chuckled at Yuuri’s unhappy groan.  “Let me have my fun,” he murmured.

 

“I thought that was what I was already doing,” Yuuri teased, his fingers lightly running up Victor’s side barely grazing the skin.  Victor’s shiver answered his touch bringing out Yuuri’s smile.  Victor dipped down to capture that smile in his kiss.

 

Victor pulled back and studied the man beneath him, eyes drinking him in.  “What do you want?” he murmured.

 

“All of you,” Yuuri answered.  Victor groaned hungrily in response, leaving Yuuri long enough to dig through their luggage.  Yuuri chuckled.  “I thought you unpacked.”

 

“My clothes.  For laundry.”  Rejoining his lover in bed and tossing the lube and condom within reach, he added.  “Obviously I wasn’t thinking ahead.”

 

“Obviously,” Yuuri chuckled, guiding Victor into position over him. 

 

Victor settled between Yuuri’s thighs, sliding a hand down the bare skin.  His fingers slid along the legs of Yuuri’s blue boxer briefs, he asks, “Why do you still have these on?”

 

“I could ask you the same,” he responded, slipping two fingers into the waistband of Victor’s black briefs.  They studied each other a moment before hastily removing the encumbrances.  Falling back together, Yuuri murmured, “Much better.”

 

Victor’s lips found Yuuri’s, sucking at the lower lip, tasting Yuuri’s with the edge of his tongue before migrating to Yuuri’s chin, his ear, his neck.  He began sucking a mark just below Yuuri’s collar bone.  “That should properly scandalize Yurio,” Victor chuckled as he studied and kissed the mark feeling satisfied.

 

“You’re incorrigible!” Yuuri exclaimed only to be met with Victor’s laugh.  A gasp escaped his lips as Victor’s lips closed around his nipple, sucking and tormenting with his tongue as he felt Yuuri arch his back into him.  Yuuri’s arms tightened around Victor’s head, fingers tangled in his hair as he closed his eyes and focused on the feeling of pleasure formed by those lips.

 

Victor pulled back only to turn his attention to the other nipple, mumbling, “We can’t have you be neglected,” as he nuzzled the bud before circling his tongue around it, taking it into his mouth and sucking it.  Yuuri’s hands flailed up and down his back, fingers tightening into his shoulders, certain to leave bruises.  Pulling back, he looked up towards Yuuri’s face, already sinking into a pleasure state, coming undone.  “Damn, Yuuri…and that’s just your nipples.  What’s going to happen when I reach down here?”  His hand slipped down and stroked up Yuuri’s length pulling a moan from the smaller man squirming beneath him.  “So beautiful,” he whispered.

 

A little awareness filtered through Yuuri’s thoughts.  “We’ll hear from Mari-neesan about this,” Yuuri warned.

 

Victor laughed.  “Completely worth it.”  He punctuated this by diving down and unexpectedly taking Yuuri into his mouth eliciting another, more drawn out moan from the younger man.  He sucked up the length of him, licking and kissing around the head before bobbing down once more.  He felt Yuuri’s hands tangle into his hair as beautiful sounds slipped from his lips while he bobbed up and down the shaft.  Sucking down the length again and again, he breathed in Yuuri’s scent, humming in pleasure, receiving a sweet cry from Yuuri’s lips.

 

A tug on Victor’s hair brought him off Yuuri with a pop.  He met Yuuri’s eyes.  “I don’t want to come in your mouth,” Yuuri stated.

 

Victor smirked.  “And what do you want, my dear Yuuri?”

 

“I want you to fuck me,” he stated, holding Victor’s eyes intently.

 

Victor hissed with pleasure at the demand.  Reaching for the lube, he warmed it up in his hand before massaging Yuuri’s entrance.  “Are you sure this is what you want?” he teased, barely inserting his finger and then withdrawing it.

 

Yuuri groaned, glaring at Victor in frustration.  Victor grinned, as he slipped the finger further inside, watching Yuuri’s eyes close and chin tilt back as Victor began to tease the entrance.  Yuuri’s lips parted as his lover added another, his breath quickening.  The third finger gave Yuuri more of what he wanted as a moan escaped his lips.  Victor found his prostate, becoming more familiar with Yuuri’s body since Paris, and began to tease the pleasure center.  Yuuri’s moans slipped out, soft and steady, and Victor could see his lover falling apart before him.

 

“Now! Please!  Fuck me, now!” he whispered his demand harshly.

 

Victor withdrew his hand and received a displeased huff.  Chuckling, he murmured, “You can’t have it both ways.”  He tore open the package to the condom and rolled it into place.  Reaching for the lube, he slicked up his shaft, already hard from anticipation.  He teased the entrance with the head before slowly pressing into him.  Yuuri’s lips parted in a voiceless cry, his legs wrapping around Victor.

 

“Don’t stop,” Yuuri begged, lifting his hips to ease Victor further in.  The slow stretch gave way to Victor and soon he stilled, buried deep within.

 

Victor brushed a kiss over Yuuri’s lips and Yuuri reciprocated, small kisses exchanged back and forth as they acclimated.  Yuuri’s hands slid around Victor’s neck burying into his hair, pulling his lover into a deeper kiss.  As they broke, Yuuri whispered one command.  “Move.”

 

Victor grinned.  Bracing himself on his arms, he started slowly moving in and out, but Yuuri demanded more, tightening his legs, lifting his hips.  Victor was soon pounding him hard, Yuuri’s cries muffled only by an ingrained knowledge of the thin walls.  Victor shifted and watched Yuuri’s eyes widen, Victor knew he was hitting hard against the prostate.  He wanted to watch Yuuri come completely undone untouched.   “How close?” he whispered harshly.  He only received a moan in reply.

 

Victor reached down to tighten his hand on his shaft buying himself more time.  He changed his movement, the gyration gaining him another widening of Yuuri’s eyes.  He continued this at a slower but steady pace watching Yuuri’s hands opening and closing in the sheets, his head thrown back, lips parted, unintelligible words slipping out in a low babble.

 

“Vitya,” Yuuri pleaded, reaching for him.  Victor dipped down and brushed kisses over Yuuri’s forehead, his cheek, then his lips.  “I want to come,” he begged softly, his head starting to thrash.  Victor smiled, picking up his pace.  Yuuri reached down to grab his length but Victor pushed his hand away.  Yuuri’s voice was husky in its pleas, his breathing ragged.  “Please,” he whispered once more, and Victor could no longer deny him, reaching down, Yuuri came undone in his hands within a few strokes, his own release coming in the wake.

 

Victor withdrew and collapsed on Yuuri’s chest, feeling the stickiness that lay between them but not caring.  Yuuri wrapped his arms around him, his fingers sliding into his hair.  “Yuuri?”

 

“Yes, Vitya?” came the contented response.

 

He rose up on his arms, and studied his lover.  “There is no way your parents didn’t hear that.”

 

Yuuri groaned, reaching for a pillow and hitting him in the head with it.  “Why did you have to say that?”

 

Victor grinned.  “It’s the truth.”

 

“We need our own place.”

 

“I know,” he murmured, settling down next to Yuuri and pulling him into his embrace.  “I’ll check with the realtor this week.”

 

“We have Yura,” Yuuri protested.

 

“And Yurio is very well acquainted with seeing to his own needs.  If he doesn’t want to join us, he can explore the city and make some…dare I say it…friends,” Victor pointed out.

 

Yuuri stuck his tongue out.  “Yura has friends.  He’s just rough around the edges.  But…he’s honest.”

 

Victor snuggled into his lover and brushed a kiss against his cheek.  “That he is…in every regard.”

 

They lay contentedly until the discomfort of the stickiness drove them to seek the shower.

 

* * *

 

 

Sasaki invited Yuuri into her office.  “How was Paris?” she asked casually as he took a seat.  She handed him a cup of tea to keep his hands busy.

 

“It was good…until it wasn’t,” Yuuri stated quietly, holding the mug protectively.

 

“What changed?”  She took a sip of tea, studying her patient over the mug.

 

“I…went out with Victor and some friends to a nightclub,” he explained.  “Too much to drink although it didn’t seem like much.  Next thing I knew, we were walking back and I was freaking out.”

 

“Describe the freak-out,” she urged gently.

 

Yuuri sighed and nodded in acknowledgement.  “I was with Victor and Phichit, the two people threatened over social media.  Then I saw Chris there and I just fell apart, afraid for them.  I don’t even know if I made sense.”

 

“Then what happened?”

 

“They got me back to my room and took care of me.  Phichit and Chris stayed until I was in my own rational mind again.”

 

“Is that how you feel?  Irrational?”

 

“When my anxiety takes over, yes.  I know most of the time the things going through my head are lies but I have trouble shutting them out.”

 

She pursed her lips thoughtfully.  “If you were staying here, I’d be designing our next layer of therapy to work on your anxiety.  Your PTSD is only an issue at this point during new events and flare ups.  Likely the alcohol lowered your inhibitions, your guard, just enough to let those niggling little thoughts to dig their way out to the surface.”

 

“So what you are saying is to stay away from alcohol?”

 

She nodded slowly.  “An occasional glass of wine would probably be fine but I wouldn’t drink much more than that.  And make your partner aware of it.”

 

He took a sip of tea and then studied the pattern on the cup.  “What…would you do about my anxiety?”

 

“We can actually treat it in much the same way as your PTSD.  EMDR also has great success targeting anxiety.  However, I’d need you to keep a journal to help me pinpoint your triggers.  And that’s what takes time.”

 

Yuuri took another sip, thoughtful.  “If I have the journal, could we…pull it off in three weeks?”

 

She studied him a moment then nodded.  “Not completely.  You’d need to follow this up.  But we could lay the groundwork."

 

“I could commit another day during the upcoming weeks,” Yuuri offered.

 

“I’d need another day on top of that.  And I need the journal to look through it.”

 

It was decided that Yuuri would bring the journal to her on Tuesday and they would meet again on Thursday.  She then worked on the trigger from the Paris trip through the rest of the session.  Yuuri traded places with Victor in the lounge.

 

* * *

  

“Victor, how are you taking care of yourself?” Sasaki asked.

 

“I am learning to accept that others can help and support Yuuri as well,” Victor answered.

 

“Tell me about this.”

 

“I’m sure Yuuri told you about Paris.”  Victor began.  Sasaki-sensei nodded in acknowledgement and he continued.  “I stood back and allowed my friend Chris to provide the comfort Yuuri needed rather than intervening.  I do feel guilty, though.  I didn’t think about how alcohol would affect his PTSD.”

 

“Alcohol has different effects on trauma survivors.  That’s why we recommend avoidance.  Now you know.”

 

“I’m also reading more.  We are stopping at the bookstore on our way to pick up a friend at the airport.  This involves Yuuri but I have coordinated an ice show that will happen this Saturday as well.  I…don’t know where the line is between codependency and just life together.”

 

“That’s a good question.  It ties to motivations.  Let’s say you get a drink.  This is a drink you enjoy and you consume that drink and walk away.  It doesn’t take away from who you are.  It doesn’t…consume you.  On the other hand, if you crave that drink to the point where you hurt yourself to gain it, that’s codependency.  The word actually isn’t in our DSM-5.  It isn’t defined precisely.  It’s borrowed from alcohol and drug treatment programs.

 

“However, there can be a real addictive quality in relationships.  In a codependent relationship, you take responsibility for your partner’s feelings and moods.  This can lead to guilt and resentment.  There is a flipside, however.  Interdependency starts from a place of independence and a respect for autonomy.  In that case, you support one another and intermingle your lives but you know you are responsible for your own actions, feelings, and moods.  They are responsible for theirs.”

 

“So…there may not be anything wrong with me?” Victor asked, sifting through the information.

 

“I only stated that you had tendencies.  It’s not a diagnosis because it’s not a true disorder.  However, you have made positive steps towards respecting Yuuri’s independence and your own.  This will make your relationship healthier.  Furthermore, I see you’ve increased your interest in life.  That addresses the other issue of concern, your depression.”

 

“So your concern was that I became dependent on Yuuri to pull out of my depression.”

 

“Yes.  You can’t seek your purpose in another person.  That has to be within yourself.  Have you had any other depressive episodes?”

 

Victor sighed before nodding slowly.  “I’m good at closing off and hiding my pain.  I can paint on a smile and push my way through.  Except, Yuuri can often see right through it and he calls me on it.  He forces me to talk about it.  I just don't want to get to that place where I feel empty inside.”

 

“I think you should continue to journal and take note of your thought patterns.  It’s important that you are very honest in those journals.  When you see those thoughts start to take a downward spiral you need to get in to seek help.  This may be situational, seasonal, or ongoing.  There may be triggers that set it off.  There may be a pattern or a rhythm.  It could also be a symptom of something else such as bipolar disorder.  Sometimes we can use different types of therapy to treat your depression.  However, sometimes medication is necessary.  I don’t want you to take your depression lightly.  Just like anxiety, depression can lead to catastrophic decisions.  And especially if you start having self-destructive or suicidal thoughts, get help immediately.”

 

“So I should seek out a therapist when I get to Russia,” Victor stated quietly.

 

“I highly recommend it.  Your partner will be given a referral when he leaves his final appointment.  I can do the same for you.”

 

“I…have someone in mind.  A crisis counselor.”

 

“If you need drug therapy, you will need a psychiatrist,” Sasaki pointed out.

 

Victor thought about her words.  “Okay.  If you can give me a recommendation before we leave, that would be good.  Also, when we return at the first of the year, we’d like to come back here.  I’m not sure what we’ll need at that point, but I want a plan in place.”

 

“You and Yuuri-san will always be considered my clients.  If you find yourself here for just a visit or a competition and need to set up a session, all you have to do is call.  I might have to put you at the end of my day, but I will see you.”

 

“Thank you.  That is most generous.  Do I need…to look at drug therapies now?”

 

“No.  Right now your depression seems manageable.  I’m going to help you build some strategies over the next two weeks.  But most importantly, journal.”

 

“It’s already become a habit with all of the therapy we’ve been through.  I’ll continue.”

 

“Good.  How do you feel?”

 

Victor drew in a breath.  “I think…in some ways better, in other ways, not so good.  I think I’ve been in denial about my depression, thinking it will go away on its own, thinking…that being with Yuuri, taking care of him, would take it away.”

 

“That’s a lot to put on Yuuri’s shoulders…and that’s the codependency.”

 

“So…to rid myself of the codependency, I need to face my depression.”

 

“It won’t be an instant fix but it would be dealing with the problem head on.”

 

Victor ran his hand through his hair.  “I’ve lived with this for such a long time.  I…I’m ready to let it go.  Okay.”  He nodded.  “I can do this.”

 

“Now, for your homework, I want to see your journal next visit.  I want you to be honest in what you write.  Maintain your schedule. Keep involved…don’t isolate yourself.  Check-in…most people check in with a partner but some find it useful to check in with someone else, especially if your partner tends to enable you.  However, you said Yuuri calls you on your behavior.  That will keep you accountable.  Make sure you are getting enough sleep…but if you find yourself sleeping all the time, write it down and seek help.  Write down what you eat and the associated mood.  If you are having cravings, make note of that because sometimes we need to deal with nutritional deficiencies.”

 

“Nutritional deficiencies?”

 

“Yes.  You would be surprised how often a nutritional deficiency can be a culprit for keeping someone down with depression.  Get plenty of rest.  And stay away from alcohol.”

 

“All alcohol?”

 

“One glass of wine maximum and not every night.”

 

Victor nodded thoughtfully.  “I think…I’ve drank regularly since I was eighteen.  Sometimes just a glass of vodka.  Sometimes more.  Sometimes…until I feel nothing.  I’ve drank less, though, over the last year.”

 

“Alcoholism and depression can feed into one another.  I want you to include alcohol intake in your journal.  Be mindful in your choices.”

 

“Mindful.  What is this?  The word sounds simple but I don’t understand.”

 

“Mindfulness.  It’s making every choice conscious.  I want to instill this as the first step for dealing with your depression.”

 

“Does it use drugs?”

 

“No.  [ Mindfulness-based Cognitive Therapy ](http://mbct.com/) is one approach for dealing with repeated bouts of depression.  It’s something I can educate you on but I suggest you look into classes.  Given that you are moving to Russia, there are several therapists that use this practice, that have the training.  I’ll make sure I look into that while preparing your referral.”

 

“Where do I find these classes?”

 

“It is available online.  Geneva and France would be the closest published courses but I’ll find you a therapist that can help you find what you need.  I won’t leave you without resources.”

 

“Until then?  Until we leave?  I only have two more sessions with you.”

 

“I’m increasing your partner’s therapy to twice a week.  I can do the same for you.”

 

“Okay.  Put my sessions next to his if possible.  I’ll be with him anyway.”

 

“Not a problem.  Anything else?”

 

“Will you write that name down so I can research it?”

 

“Of course.”  She took out a slip of paper and wrote down the therapy name.  “Research it…and come back Thursday.  Bring your journal and I want to see the food and drink logs as well.”

 

“Okay.  I will.  Thank you.”

 

“I’ll see you Thursday.”

 

* * *

 

 

Victor entered the lounge and found Yuuri reading the book he left behind.  “Since when do you read mysteries?” he teased.

 

Yuuri looked up, a smile crinkling his eyes.  “I finished my book and yours was sitting there, so I picked it up.  The author is very good.”

 

“I could introduce you to a number of good authors of mystery and intrigue.  I have quite the collection at St. Petersburg.”

 

“Good for cold nights at home.”

 

“Exactly.  We can snuggle up and read a book.  Now, I believe we have a date at a bookstore before picking up Yuri at the airport.”

 

“Yes.  Let’s go.”

 

As they slipped out of the office, Yuuri glanced up at Victor in concern.  “Is everything alright?”

 

“Yes.  Nothing alarming.  We can talk later when we’re alone.”  Victor looked down as a hand threaded into his, squeezing it reassuringly.  Victor returned the squeeze halting their steps in the lobby as they waited on the elevator.  Climbing in, they were alone and Victor continued.  “Just…a lot of information.  And I need to do some research.”  Stopping, he faced Yuuri.  “She’s…going to help me to find non-drug treatment for my depression if possible.  She said I may still need drug-treatment but she’s willing to introduce me to other approaches.  Mindfulness-based Cognitive Therapy.  That’s what we’re going to work on.”

 

“Okay.  How can I help?”

 

“Let’s talk tonight.  I need to deal with today.”  Frustration edged his voice and Yuuri widened his eyes, backing off.

 

After a few minutes, he murmured, “Sorry I pushed.  You said later.”

 

“It’s okay.  I just…need to deal with things in public before I can work on this problem.  I’m not frustrated with you…just…I’ve had this problem for so long.”

 

“Okay.  Do you still want to find another book?”

 

Victor looked up and forced a smile.  “Yes.  Please…I need something to read and we need to kill a couple of hours before meeting Yuri.”

 

* * *

  

The blonde marched down the concourse and reached the waiting friends.  “Yurio!” Victor called out in greeting.

 

“Don’t call me that, geezer!” he responded.

 

“Welcome, Yura,” Yuuri said, his voice soft and warm.

 

Yuri stepped before the brown-eyed skater and studied him.  “You look better,” he stated.  “Stronger.”

 

“I like to think that you helped contribute to that,” Yuuri offered.

 

The blonde blushed, dropping his gaze.  “I just know you are more than what people can do to you.  I didn’t want to see  _ them _ make you small.”

 

“I refuse to let  _ them _ win,” Yuuri returned.

 

Yuri looked up, a smile touching his lips.  “Always fight.”

 

Yuuri wrapped an arm around the youth’s shoulders.  “I’ve missed you.  Come.  Let’s get you home.”

 

They gathered Yuri’s luggage at the baggage claim and Yuuri looked at Victor curiously as he played some sort of charades with the younger Yuri.  “Do I need to leave you two alone?” he asked with a raised eyebrow.

 

Victor straightened guiltily, shoving his hand through his hair.  “No.  Not at all.  Come, boys, Cocoa.  Let’s grab a cab to the train station.”

 

Yuuri climbed into the cab first with Cocoa settling in between his legs.  Victor and Yuri whispered in Russian and Yuuri rolled his eyes.  Finally, he called out, “You know whispering is pointless.  I don’t speak enough Russian to make out what you are saying anyway.  Whatever you’re up to, Victor, just deal with it.”

 

Victor peeked in, his expression guilty.  “It’s…a surprise.”

 

“Of course it is,” Yuuri responded, with a raised eyebrow.  “Let’s get Yuri home.  He’s had a long flight.”

 

Victor nodded and the next thing he knew, the blonde climbed in and sat next to Yuuri leaving Victor on the outside.  When they boarded the train, Yuri once more chose to sit next to Yuuri leaving Victor to mind the luggage in the next seat.

 

Mari met them at the train station.  “This is Yurio?  He looks just like Takeo!”

 

The blond looked confused.  Yuuri rolled his eyes at his sister.  “My sister is into music idols,” he explained to the younger skater.  “You have a  _ slight _ resemblance to one of the band members she follows.  Forgive her for fangirling on you.”

 

“I-it’s okay.  I mean, it’s tame compared to my  _ Angels _ .”  He shivered, and found himself stifling a yawn.  It did not go unnoticed by Yuuri or Victor.  Yuuri glanced to Victor and the older man nodded.

 

“Come,  _ kotyonok _ , let’s get you home,” Victor suggested.  Yuri grumbled at the endearment but allowed himself to be led to the minivan.  Victor and Yuuri loaded the youth’s luggage while Yuri climbed into the back seat.  Victor frowned when Yuuri took his place next to the younger Yuri.  He ended up riding next to Mari back to the inn.

 

Mari kept giving Victor side glances, amusement in her eyes.  He watched Yuuri see to the youth, settling him into his room, and finally leaving him with the promise of waking him for dinner.  

 

Victor leaned sulkily against the wall in the hall outside the room.  Yuuri glanced up at him amused as he came out of the room.  Taking the older man’s hand, he led him to their room, pushed him back on the couch and climbed in his lap straddling him.  He ran his fingers through Victor’s hair as he leaned forward kissing him, hard and possessive.  “You are ridiculous, you know,” he pointed out, resting his forehead against Victor’s.  “You are jealous of a teenager.”

 

“I’m not!” he protested.

 

Yuuri rolled his eyes.  “You are…you know he is just a kid to me.  A friend…but just a kid.”

 

“He likes you.”

 

“I know.  He also respects the relationship.  You are being silly.”

 

“I know.  I realize this,” Victor frowned.  “It’s just been…a day.”

 

Yuuri smoothed Victor’s hair around his ear, his expression softening.  “I know.  I was there, too.  Do you want to talk about it?”

 

Victor sighed, his hands resting on Yuuri’s hips.  “I’m not perfect.”

 

Yuuri’s lip quirked before he schooled his expression into a serious demeanor.  “Really?”

 

“You’re laughing at me,” Victor pouted.

 

“Not really,” Yuuri smirked.  “Well, not too hard.  Vitya, I know this.”

 

Victor continued to pout, his hands slipping around Yuuri’s waist.  “You don’t understand.  Let me try to explain it.  Everyone  _ expects _ me to be perfect.”

 

“Sweetheart, the only ones that expects that are the ones that don’t matter and yourself.  I love your silly, ridiculous imperfections.”

 

Victor tightened his hold on Yuuri, lifting his face to brush a kiss before resting his forehead into the turn of Yuuri’s neck.  “What if working through all of this depression makes you see something ugly in me?”

 

Yuuri rested his cheek against Victor’s head.  “Vitya, does my anxiety make you see something ugly in me?”

 

“N-no?”

 

“Then why would it be any different?  I love you.  Just as you are.  The more real, the better.  And if that gets messy, so be it.”

 

“Will you…help me?”

 

Yuuri brushed a kiss against Victor’s hair.  “Whatever you need,” he murmured.

 

Victor held his tongue for a bit, working the courage up to ask the pressing question.  Finally, he spoke.  “I need someone to keep me accountable, to call me on my shit, to make sure I don’t start hiding behind fake smiles again.  I guess…I need someone to force me to be real.”

 

“You’ve been authentic with me from the beginning.”

 

“We are going home soon.  Old habits will crop up.  I can…be an ass sometimes,” he admitted.

 

Yuuri chuckled.  “Again, you say this like it surprises me.”

 

Victor looked up startled.  “I thought I hid…you knew?”

 

“Victor, I watch how you relate to Yuri and can extrapolate what you are like with the rest of your friends.  Now…is that what you are really worried about?”  Yuuri traced a finger down Victor’s cheek before resting his hands on the older man’s shoulders.

 

He pouted a little, frowning uncertainly.  “A little…I am worried that…my ugly side will scare you away.”

 

Yuuri shook his head, pulling the smile at his lips.  “God, Vitya…after all of the hell you’ve gone through and stayed by my side?  Besides, I suspect your ugly side isn’t near as bad as you think.  What else?”

 

“I’m scared…of my depression,” Victor whispered.  “I’ve been…more down than I’ve let on.  It’s been a roller coaster, to be honest.  I’m afraid I’m going to crash.  And I’m afraid this therapy will be like opening a Pandora’s Box.”

 

“You take care of me when I crash.  I’ll take care of you.  Remember, we support each other.”

 

Victor lifted his head, a deep frown creasing his face.  “I love you…I’m just…sad.  No reason.  It just is.”

 

“You don’t have to hide that behind a happy face for me, Vitya.”  Yuuri climbed off his lap and tugged Victor’s hand to follow him.  Pulling the blankets back he pulled Victor into bed with him.  Victor snuggled up and rested his head on Yuuri’s chest.  He felt Yuuri’s hand wrap around his back, comforting circles drawn down his side with the other.  “I love you and I’m here for you as well.”

 

 

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NOTE: Mindfulness-based Cognitive Therapy is just one strategy for dealing with depression. This author supports all people who seek help for their depression, whether with or without the use of drug therapies. Victor has acknowledged his struggle with depression for some time with Yuuri. He’s discussed it with therapists. Working with their support, he has dealt with his more acute PTSD symptoms as well as facing his other struggles.
> 
> NOTE2: This one is long...and I think the next one is short. I have no balance.


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Insecurities and money matters.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much, BluSkates, for editing this.

* * *

 

 

Yuuri roused when he heard a tapping on the door.  Slipping from Victor’s arms, he opened it to find Mari.

 

“Hope I didn’t interrupt anything,” she deadpanned.

 

Yuuri blushed but shook his head.  “No.  Is it time for dinner?”

 

“You’ve got about half an hour but with your guests sleeping, I thought I’d give you a heads up.  Is he okay?” she asked, nodding towards Victor’s still form.

 

Yuuri sighed, his expression tender.  “He will be.  Just a rough day.”

 

“I could tell…he’s been acting weird,” she stated quietly.  “Well, get the boys up.  Mom made katsudon.”

 

“I will,” he answered softly.

 

“Oh, and Yuuri?”

 

“Yes?”

 

“The walls are thin,” she reminded him.  Yuuri’s face turned scarlet.  “And Yurio is right next door.”

 

“I know!” he answered waving his hands in agitation.  “We’ve called a hiatus…on certain activities.”

 

Her mouth quirked, amused at the rise she got from her brother.  “Uh-huh.  Okay, I’ll see you in half an hour.”

 

It took all of that half hour to get Yuri up.  Victor was sitting on their couch, his expression flat, emotionally drained.  Yuri mumbled and groaned.  Yuuri finally pushed the younger Yuri towards the shower.  They barely made it down to dinner in time but his mother greeted the boys cheerily.

 

“Hello, dears.  You must be Yurio.”

 

“Yura, this is my Okaasan, my mother, Hiroko-san,” he introduced.  Then turning to his father, he added, “And my Otousan, my father, Toshiya-san.  You’ve already met my older sister, Mari-san.”

 

Yuuri nodded soberly.  “You called her Mari-neesan, though.”

 

“That’s because she is my older sister.  The honorifics are confusing when you don’t grow up with them.”

 

“Thank you for having me,” he stated politely.

 

“You are most welcome,” Hiroko greeted.  “Now, how about some katsudon.  It’s Yuuri’s favorite.”

 

As the bowls were placed before them, Yuuri leaned towards the blond and stated in a low voice, “It’s so much better than mine.  You’ll never be satisfied with my cooking.”

 

The teen looked up wide-eyed.  “I need to introduce you to Grandpa’s pirozhki when you come to Russia.”

 

“I look forward to it,” Yuuri stated warmly.  He reached over absently and brushed his fingers over Victor’s hand knowing the other man was fighting an inner battle with ridiculousness.  Glancing out the corner of his eyes, he could see Victor’s pout and Mari’s amusement.

 

When Yuri took his first bite of Hiroko’s katsudon, his eyes widened.  “My god!  That’s fu-amazing!”  Hiroko smiled with pleasure at the praise.  Yuri ate generously.  Studying the other Yuuri’s portion, he narrowed his eyes.  “How can you eat so little?”

 

“I…I gain weight too easily so I limit myself to a half portion,” Yuuri mumbled, his head dropping in embarrassment.

 

Victor ran a finger over Yuuri’s and murmured, “I don’t mind if you’re pudgy, _lyubov moya_.  It’s the ice that’s unforgiving.”

 

Yuri huffed as he looked from one to the other.   “How do you take a question about pork cutlet bowls and turn it into gross?”

 

Mari’s eyes widened, “Right?”  Yuri met her eyes and knew he found an ally to insulate him from their grossness.

 

* * *

  

Later, Yuuri showed the youth around the inn while Victor worked on some of the details dealing with the ice show.  They wandered through the meditation garden maintained by Yuuri’s father, walked through the procedures for using the hot springs, and Yuuri showed the blond where to find the snacks he might want and a few of the nooks and crannies.

 

“I’ll show you around town tomorrow,” Yuuri offered, then paused, chewing on his lower lip.  “I have to take the train into Fukuoka.  I need to drop something off to my therapist.”

 

Yuri frowned.  “When are you going?”

 

“In the morning…that way I can get back to practice skating in the afternoon.  I’m afraid…Victor has to go with me.  I still can’t go to…crowded areas on my own.”

 

Yuri tightened his lips.  “I saw the threats made to you and the others.  Don’t worry about it.  I’m probably going to sleep late, anyway.”  He opened the door to Yuuri’s old room.  “Now, about these posters,” he gave Yuuri a side-glance.  “I’m judging you hard right now.”

 

Yuuri blushed, chuckling in embarrassment as his hand rubbed the back of his neck.  “I thought you knew I was a bit of a fanboy.”

 

“I think this goes beyond ‘a bit,’” he pointed out.

 

* * *

 

 

Yuuri found Victor curled up asleep, his laptop closed on the bed next to him.  Moving it to the sofa, he noticed a box labeled with Yuri’s travel information.  He thumbed the edge curiously before setting his lips.  Maybe tomorrow.  He crawled into bed and curled around Victor, worry knitting his brow.  

 

Victor’s insecurity was another sign of his depression.  Yuuri didn’t pick up on it right away.  Victor knew he was being ridiculous.  Then Yuuri realized he was hiding his depression from the blond.  Yuuri brushed a kiss on his hair whorl before pressing his cheek against Victor’s head.  “I hope this therapy helps you, Vitya,” he whispered.

 

Victor turned in Yuuri’s arms and snuggled into the space formed beneath Yuuri’s chin.  “My Yuuri,” he murmured in his sleep.  Yuuri tightened his arms around Victor.

 

* * *

  

They returned from Fukuoka by noon and dragged Yuri out to eat ramen and explore the town.  They ended up at the skating rink where Yuri found himself surrounded by the triplets firing off questions.  Yuuko ushered them off, apologizing.  Finally entering the rink, he waited for Victor and Yuuri to skate.  He was banned from the ice until the next morning while he rested from his travel.  Yuuko came to sit beside him.

 

“They are amazing together,” she stated quietly.  “I’ve never seen Yuuri open up like he does with Victor.”

 

“Victor’s different, too,” Yuri added.  “He’s more…considerate.  He’s always been outgoing and…exuberant.  Annoyingly so.  Yuuri sobers him, tones him down in a good way.”

 

“You care about them both,” Yuuko observed.

 

Yuri hissed.  “Don’t tell Victor.”

 

She laughed warmly.  “Don’t worry.  Your secret is safe with me.  What is he to you?  Rink mate?”

 

“I’ve always…thought of him as my big brother.  We fought when he returned to Russia.  I didn’t know the whole reason he abandoned everything for Yuuri.  But…this is where he belongs.”

 

“He’s going to Russia soon, though,” Yuuko pointed out.

 

A smile played at Yuri’s lips.  “I know.  I don’t think he’s quite ready to let it go.   I think this half year in Japan, half year in Russia a crazy idea.”

 

“Perhaps, but doesn’t that fit them?  Both making room for the other.”

 

Yuri nodded, watching Victor run through his program[ Sparrow](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C9haTFoGcvk).  He still had the ability to pull emotion but this was…more.  Yuri could see the pain Victor dug through, the sad periods and the periods of hope.  The old man thought he hid his depression well but Yuri saw through it.  As much as he gave them both hell, he knew Victor needed Yuuri as much as Yuuri needed him.

 

Yuuri followed with[ Eros](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cfv8qTZevrw), and the blond could tell the older man finally found his own definition for Eros…and it was exclusively reserved for the old geezer.  He focused his attention on the other man, and Yuri felt like he was intruding on a private moment, shifting uncomfortably as he glanced towards Yuuko.  Yuuko watched with rapt attention, a smile soft on her lips.

 

“He’s been drawn to Victor for so long…and now they are together.  I never imagined it in my wildest dreams.  Yuuri…is so shy, so reserved.”

 

“You haven’t seen him drink, then,” Yuri commented.

 

Yuuko laughed softly.  “So he needed a little liquid courage.  Well, it seemed to pay off.”

 

Yuri held his tongue.  That night…cost Yuuri so much.  Could they not come together on their own?  Without all of the pain?  Without completely breaking Yuuri down?  Still, he never imagined Yuuri so strong.

 

Victor and Yuuri brushed fingers together as they traded places on the ice.  Victor skated to[ Photograph](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DpjO44jJ4Mc) .  Yuri’s lip quirked a half smile.  This song was made for Victor’s sentimental heart.  He watched Victor write a sappy love letter on the ice.  He shook his head.   _You’d best not blow this._  He’d never interfere.  He knew he had a crush on the Katsudon.  The Japanese man made him feel warm and protected, loved for no reason.  But Victor needed the brunette…and Yuuri was completely in love with him.

 

Yuuri finished off with an original piece,[ Yuuri on Ice](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rwvF1Lgh61w).  Yuri watched in rapt attention, never hearing the music before or seeing the performance.  He could see the earlier Yuuri, the one that failed on the ice, the one the blond berated and still felt pangs of guilt over…but then something changed, something like hope, like love seemed to take Yuuri from mediocre to…beautiful.

 

Yuri smiled to himself.  His debut was coming up and he was going to have some solid competition.  This was what he desired more than anything.  Tomorrow he would show _Agape_ , the program he would debut in the ice show.  His free skate he would keep to himself.  They would see it soon enough, sharing the ice.  However, he wanted to secret it away a little longer.

 

* * *

 

 

That evening, they sat around the table and Victor talked about calling the realtor with the family.  Mari drew her lips in thoughtfully.  “You know, Victor, there is a property you might want to consider.  It is more than a single family residence, though.”

 

Victor looked up in surprise.  “Like a condo?”

 

“No, nothing like that.  Do you remember we told you that there were once several onsens in this town but one by one they closed down leaving ours as the only one standing.  Well, I know of one for sale.  You and Yuuri have talked several times about wanting to retire and open a skate school.  It could be…a dormitory.”

 

Victor considered her words thoughtfully.  “Is it in bad condition?”

 

“It needs some repairs and you will have to adapt it to your needs.  But it has a functioning hot spring bath, a wing of ten rooms that could work for your students, and a family wing.  The layout is similar to this one.”

 

Victor ran his fingers through his hair.  Yuuri had been curled up on one end of the sofa reading his book but he laid it down and was listening.  The other Yuri had his headphones on and was playing on a handheld game system.  Meeting his partner’s eyes, he questioned him with his eyes alone.

 

Finally, Yuuri spoke.  “You’re talking about the Kaba inn.  They are asking too much.  I heard Otousan say so.”

 

“They are asking a higher price from developers.  However, if someone is willing to keep it as a small business, maintain the integrity, they are offering it at a lower price.”  She met her brother’s eyes.  “It can’t hurt to look at it.”

 

Yuuri turned to Victor.  “I don’t know if that’s something we can consider.  It will still be very expensive.”

 

Victor sighed and stood, offering his hand to Yuuri.  “I think you and I need to have a private talk.”  He led the younger man upstairs.

 

Seated on their bed, Victor brought his laptop over.  He opened a spreadsheet.  Yuuri noted the tabs were various sponsors.  However, the top tab summarized the entire group.  “I’ve never discussed with you my financial situation.  You seemed to always shy away from money talks, living frugally.  However, I think you forced yourself into more frugality than was necessary.  This is where I sit financially.”

 

Yuuri scanned the line of numbers, laid out in Russian rubles, Japanese yen, and U.S. dollars.  His eyes widened as he met Victor’s eyes.  “So much.”

 

“I have a diverse investment portfolio that allows the savings from my income to continue to generate more cash.  You could say I’m…well off.  Now…I want you to look at your numbers.”  Victor pulled up another spreadsheet.  “I received my initial figures from Celestino backed up by your parents.  I’ve added in the new sponsor contracts to give a fair estimate of your income.  This is where you sit.”

 

He turned the screen to Yuuri once more and the brunette could see a similar layout to Victor’s spreadsheet.  His lips parted.  “No.  This is wrong.  I don’t have that much,” he protested.

 

Victor chuckled softly.  “Actually, you do.  Your parents only supported you the first year in Detroit.  Apparently you’ve been on your own since then.  Celestino could never get you to sit down and talk about money so it was managed between himself and your parents.  I personally recommend you work with the same sports management firm I use, but that’s up to you.  You are a cautious spender, and that’s fine, but you want to employ a team that will help you use the money you have to generate a larger holding.”

 

“I-I never imagined so many people were investing so much in me.  I don’t feel worthy of that kind of faith.”  He looked up at Victor with alarm.  “What if I mess up?”

 

“You do realize that you have messed up plenty of times and they still renewed their support.”

 

Yuuri chewed his lip as he studied the figures.  The numbers were not at the level of Victor’s but then again he didn’t have an investment portfolio.  “Do you think we can do it?”

 

“I think we should at least look at it and hear the man out.  I’m retiring after the Olympics.  The jumps are wearing too much on my knees, spine and hips.  I have four years on you, so I figure you’ll skate until the following Olympics, barring injury.  But after that, we need a plan.  I can’t just sit at home.”  He then leaned forward and added, “Although the inducement is much more attractive now that I have you.”

 

Yuuri blushed.  “Okay…we can talk with him.  What can it hurt?”

 

“Agreed.  Now there is one thing I’m curious about.  While researching your financials, there is nothing to indicate that you pole danced once a week.  I mean…you don’t have to tell me, but I am curious as to how you spent that money, though.”

 

Yuuri blushed.  “Well, some of it went back into the house.  But…well, most of it went…to a scholarship foundation.”  Yuuri pushed up out of their bed and went over to his backpack and pulled out a bank book.  When he presented it to Victor, the other man saw neat, concise entries that told him that Yuuri wasn’t completely clueless about money.  He spotted Kenjirou Minami’s name among others.

 

Victor’s eyes widened.  “You paid coaching fees.  For other skaters,” he stated incredulously.

 

“Only juniors…not all of them.  But some were struggling to make their fees.  I...started it.  I wanted to invest in the next generation.  It’s all anonymous…and I’m not the only investor anymore.  But I am involved in the decision as to who gets help.  Skaters have to participate in competitions as a requirement for assistance.”  He studied his fingers.  “Our sport has been shrinking steadily since the 90s. I didn’t want to watch it disappear.”

 

Yuuri finally peeked up from under his eyelashes to find Victor gaping at him.  Victor pulled him into his arms and kissed him soundly.  “You sweet, beautiful man,” he murmured.  “Only you would think to take off your clothes for charity.”

 

“I wasn’t completely naked,” Yuuri protested.

 

“I’ve been to _Incognito_.  I know just how naked they get there.  I can’t believe you did this.  If I didn’t love you more than possible already…”  He kissed him once more.  “You’re amazing.”

 

“No more so than you,” Yuuri murmured.

 

Victor chuckled.  “Even I never thought to do something like this.  No…I think you have topped me with this.”  Setting his computer aside, he reached for Yuuri and pulled him into his lap.  “Now about topping…”

 

Yuuri leaned back and raised an eyebrow.  “Thin walls.  Yura sleeping next door,” he deadpanned.

 

Victor pouted.  “It’s going to be a long week.”

 

Yuuri snuggled into his arms.  “You’ll just have to get creative.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been writing but I'm about out of the things I've sent through for edits. I have something started for both Glitters and Lifeline. I also drafted notes for Lifeline: Last Dance (Part 5). Yes, you read that right. Part 5. Part 3 will be in St. Petersburg and will wrap up the main plotline of this story. Part 4 will be domestic life and parenthood...lots of fluffy fluff fluff. Part 5...is an angsty episode I dreamed and found myself out of bed at three in the morning to jot down the notes. (Note: These five parts do not include BFT)
> 
> Let me know what you're thinking and thanks for reading.


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yes, there is a love hotel in Hasetsu.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks, BluSkates, for editing and working me past some anxious thoughts. Much appreciated.

* * *

 

 

Yuuri felt himself writhing in a dream, lost in the feelings engulfing him when his eyes fluttered open.  “Vitya,” he whispered just before those lips covered his.

 

“A week is too long,” he murmured, his hands teasing Yuuri’s length.

 

Yuuri sighed.  “We could go to a love hotel…but every day would be ridiculous.”

 

“A love hotel,” Victor murmured slowly.  “What’s that?”

 

“A solution for tight housing and multi-generational families in traditional homes.  You can rent it for a certain period of time.  Very discreet.”

 

Victor gaped at him.  “Why haven’t we tried this?”

 

Yuuri chuckled.  “Because I didn’t think about it until now.”

 

“Do they have them here or do we need to go into Fukuoka?” Victor asked curiously.

 

Yuuri laughed and thought about it.  “No, we have a few local.  I remember Takeshi talking about it when he and Yuuko first married.  They lived with his parents for the first couple of years because they were so young and his family helped out a lot with the triplets.  I’ll have to find out where because…well, I’ve never used them.” He finished the statement with a blush.

 

Victor’s expression took on a new kind of excitement.  “We’ve got to try this.”  His eyes danced around at the prospect of this new adventure.

 

Yuuri chuckled.  “Well, I’ll have to look around.  Not all hotels welcome same-sex couples.  I have heard of at least one in town, though.  So we should be fine.”

 

Victor laid back and sighed, the prospect of his frustration being relieved in sight. Yuuri rolled over next to him and started kiss him.  “You started something,” he reminded the silver haired skater.

 

Victor’s eyes glittered.  “Can you be quiet?” he teased.

 

“If we…keep it simple.”  They settled for jerking each other off before cleaning up and going back to sleep.  The next morning, they kept glancing at Yuri for signs that he heard something but he just scowled back at them questioning.  Finally, they relaxed and headed towards the rink to see Yuri skate to  _ Agape _ .

 

* * *

 

 

Standing at the boards next to Takeshi, Yuuri shifted uncomfortably.  His childhood friend kept giving him funny looks before finally asking him, “What’s the matter with you?”

 

Yuuri blushed.  “Do you remember when you and Yuuko were first married and living with your family?”

 

“God, yes.  No privacy whatsoever!”  He paused then looked at his blushing friend.  “Oh!”

 

“Exactly,” Yuuri deadpanned.  “And now we have Yuri in the next room.”

 

“You know…they do have those little hotels.”

 

“I-I know,” Yuuri stated, shifting in embarrassment.

 

“Yuuko and I stayed in the ones over behind the ninja house.  There are several.”

 

“Not all will cater to same-sex couples,” Yuuri stated quietly.

 

“Yeah,” Takeshi answered.  “I know.  But it is posted.  You could go ahead of time and figure it out maybe.  Then go back with Victor.  Like a date.”

 

Yuuri’s blush was becoming much more pronounced.  He remembered at sixteen listening to Takeshi and Yuuko complain about the tight quarters and then Takeshi expounding to him one day about the wonderful world of love hotels. 

 

* * *

  

That afternoon, Yuuri walked Cocoa, his eyes continually casting a glance towards the castle, his courage failing him.  Finally, he sent a text to Victor asking him to meet Yuuri at the steps of the castle.  He knew he was too shy to do this on his own but with Victor he could do this. 

 

Victor arrived with Makkachin on lead.  “Hi, my Yuuri,” he greeted. 

 

Yuuri shifted awkwardly.  “About that conversation earlier…do you want to join me to help locate one?”

 

Victor’s eyes opened wide.  “Yes!”  He talked exuberantly as he danced up the steps next to Yuuri.  They circled the castle and came to a small business district that had a few shops and restaurants. 

 

Yuuri looked at his phone, the map app open, furrowing his brow.   “This way,” he motioned.  Leading them on down a street, they turned into a rather plain building.  Victor looked around.  The lobby was simple and clean with a touchscreen menu on one wall.  Yuuri led the way.  After a moment, he stated, “The darkened pictures are taken.  The lit up ones are available.”  He touched one and the amenities came up.  He closed it out.  Touching another, he scanned down the list before accepting it.  Once the key spit out, he led Victor to an elevator.

 

“Are the dogs okay?”

 

Yuuri laughed.  “We probably won’t see anyone the entire time we are here.”  The elevator opened and they were presented with two doors.  Yuuri opened the one associated with the key.

 

“What’s the other door?”

 

“Room service…that way it can be delivered discretely.”

 

“Oh.” 

 

They entered the room and Victor immediately started moving about the room to explore its contents while Yuuri made sure the dogs were comfortable.  An overstuffed chair in the corner seemed to make Makkachin happy and Cocoa settled in a pile of pillows on the floor.  Yuuri then left them to follow Victor who was now staring at a mini-bar of sorts. 

 

“Look at the different kinds of lube!  And here I thought we were coming unprepared!” 

 

Yuuri snorted.  Victor was like a kid in a candy store.  “Does everything excite you?”

 

Victor looked up and winked.  “Perhaps.”

 

“God!  I can’t imagine how you’d be in an adult toy store.”

 

Victor leered in his direction and Yuuri rolled his eyes in response.  “Are you sure you can’t imagine it?  It is certainly something we can arrange.”

 

“Thank you, no.  I prefer to get my toys in a civilized manner…through the mail,” Yuuri protested primly.

 

Victor stopped short and gaped at him.  “Wait!  You have toys?”

 

“M-maybe?”  Yuuri chewed his lip, blushing.

 

“Why didn’t I know this?”

 

“I figured you would have assumed.  I know I assumed about you.”

 

“Of course I have toys!  They are just all in St. Petersburg.”  He paused, staring out the window.  “It didn’t seem a priority at the time.”

 

Yuuri slipped into his arms.  “Why don’t we save the toys for St. Petersburg?  Another adventure.”

 

Victor looked down and smiled warmly.  “Of course.  I like that plan.  Perhaps…we’ll wait until then for you to top.”

 

Yuuri blushed.  “I…kind of like that plan.  It’s going to be so busy over the next two and a half weeks.”

 

“For now, what shall we do?” Victor asked thoughtfully, considering the options.  He then caught Yuuri studying the floor.  “Ah, you already have an idea.”

 

Yuuri blushed and nodded.  “I thought…we could switch it up but…not…well…”  He stumbled to a halt looking at Victor.  “Maybe…I’ll show you?”

 

Victor smiled, lifting Yuuri’s fingers to his lips.  “Of course.  You have the lead,  _ lyubov moya _ .”

 

“I still…would you open me up?”  Yuuri shifted and peeked up under his lashes, blush spreading down his neck and disappearing under the collar of his shirt.

 

Victor nodded, the smile never leaving his lips.  “It would be my pleasure, my Yuuri.”  He considered their location.  “Do we have a time limit?”

 

“I gave us three hours…I thought we’d take advantage of the whirlpool bath after.  Private, away from the chaos that is about to ensue.”  They both knew what the coming chaos would be…half a dozen figure skaters descending on the inn.

 

Victor grinned wickedly, his fingers going to the hem of Yuuri’s shirt.  “Then let us get started.”  They made no ceremony about removing their clothes.  No teases.  Victor pressed a kiss into Yuuri’s mouth as Yuuri crawled backwards onto the bed.  

 

Victor explored Yuuri with fingers and open kisses, greeted by Yuuri’s beautiful sounds.  As he nipped Yuuri’s hipbone, he chuckled at the jerk he received in response.  “You can open yourself up.  I’ll demonstrate for you one day.”

 

“I thought that you haven’t…” Yuuri trailed off uncertainly.

 

Victor trailed his tongue up Yuuri’s length and received a hiss in reply before responding, “No.  I haven’t.  Not by another man.  But there are certain toys that required it.”

 

“Oh,” Yuuri whispered uncertainly. 

 

“I take it your toys focus on the external,” Victor filled in, watching Yuuri as he mouthed the head of Yuuri’s half hard length.

 

Yuuri nodded, a flush covering his cheeks and going down his chest making Victor wonder if it was a response to his question or what he was doing with his tongue and fingers.

 

“Okay, love, I want you to roll over,” Victor urged, guiding the turn with his hands and lifting Yuuri’s hips.  He nipped and kissed each of Yuuri’s cheeks.  “Are you okay with this?” he asked.  Normally, he kept relative eye contact.  He slid his hands up Yuuri’s back and down his spine, feeling for tension building in Yuuri’s muscles.  He felt Yuuri relax under his touch.

 

“So…far?  What do you have in mind?” Yuuri asked, a combination of curiosity and alarm edging his voice.

 

He leaned over to catch Yuuri’s eyes and smiled reassuringly.  “I’m just going to open you up,  _ lyubov moya _ .  Okay?”

 

Yuuri nodded then followed with a soft “yes.”

 

“If anything starts to make you anxious, tell me to  _ stop _ .  Or say  _ red _ , or  _ no,  _ whichever hits your thoughts first,” he reminded his love gently.

 

Yuuri nodded once more.  “I’m okay…for now.  Let’s try, Vitya.  Show me what you have in mind.”

 

“Then you can lead me through what you have in mind,” Victor murmured.  His hands moved down over Yuuri’s ass.  “I love how your muscles bunch up when you skate,” Victor appraised.  “Watching your ass may have become one of my favorite pass times.”    Yuuri glanced over his shoulder with a smirk, raising his eyebrows as if to say “really?”

 

Victor massaged the cheeks with both hands before parting them to study the rosette Yuuri presented him.  With a quick glance to assure that Yuuri was fine and that he was in a comfortable position, lying with his cheek on the pillow, his shoulders dropped down, lips parted, an expectant expression on his face…Victor swallowed.  He lowered his lips and traced his tongue along the perineum and hearing Yuuri’s gasp morph into a moan as that tongue brushed over Yuuri’s entrance. 

 

“V-victor,” he stuttered.

 

Victor sat back and peered around Yuuri’s hips to catch the brunette’s brown eyes.  “Yes, my Yuuri,” he responded cautiously.  Yuuri reached down a hand, opening and closing his hand towards Victor.  The older man slid his fingers over Yuuri’s, tickling the palm and brushing over his wrist.  “Are you okay?” Victor checked, his eyebrows raised, uncertainty slipping into his voice.  He waited, watching a little hesitance in Yuuri before the other man nodded. 

 

Victor returned to his position, slipping a finger along the path of his tongue earlier, circling the entrance and then continuing up the crease.  Dipping his head down, he slid his tongue over that entrance, circling, flattening, relaxing the muscles to his touch until Yuuri started to open to him.  Sweet sounds released from Yuuri’s lips, his hips pressing back towards Victor’s touch.  Victor spread Yuuri’s cheeks and lowered his lips, seeking him out, tasting him, and finally slipping past that barrier.  He could hear the hitch in Yuuri’s breath, the sharp breathing in response. 

 

He continued to tease Yuuri’s entrance with his tongue as his fingers found the lube they liberated from the minibar, Yuuri’s soft moans encouraging him to continue.  The cherry-vanilla scent hit him as he breached the container.  He warmed the solution and withdrew from Yuuri’s entrance only to return with a finger circling the ring of muscles.  He tentatively dipped his finger beyond the rosette, feeling the muscles relax then clench around his finger.  Each dip went a little deeper.  He found himself rubbing Yuuri’s lower back with his other hand. 

 

“Vitya,” he murmured.  Victor answered him by dipping his tongue down and tracing partially around the entrance as he continued to use the single finger.  He teased the entrance with a second finger and felt Yuuri press back with his hip.

 

“So impatient,” Victor teased, lightly chuckling.  He continued to nip and taste and tease until Yuuri was opened up and ready for the third finger.  He withdrew to add more lube and paused to enjoy the opened entrance, slipping his tongue past the barrier, exploring the messiness of Yuuri’s sex even as the other groaned into his pillow.  Pulling back, he returned with three fingers, stretching and teasing Yuuri’s prostate as he watched the other man fall apart before him.

 

Yuuri’s words were muffled by the pillow at first.  “Yuuri, love?”

 

Turning his head, Yuuri repeated, “I want you now.”  Victor sat back on his knees, withdrawing his fingers and watched his lover turn over before him.  “Up against the headboard,” he demanded.  Victor crawled up to where Yuuri indicated and soon had an armful of Yuuri as he crawled into his lap, straddling him and Victor had a pretty good idea where this was going.

 

Yuuri dropped a very messy kiss over Victor’s lips as his fingers teased up his length.  Victor reached over to grab the condom but Yuuri took it from his hand.  Victor watched him pinch the tip and roll it down over his hardened length, reaching for the remaining lube.  Satisfied with the preparation Yuuri moved up Victor’s body and held his eyes as his fingers guided Victor to his entrance. 

 

“Take it slow,” Victor murmured, his own hands resting on Yuuri’s hips.  He watched Yuuri’s lips part and his eyes drop to half lids as he slowly bottomed out on Victor. 

 

“It’s…different.  Good…full…but different,” Yuuri breathed.

 

“Change of...angle,” Victor answered, equally breathless.  “For both of us.  Tight.  Love having you so close…in my arms like this.” 

 

Yuuri lowered his lips once more over Victor’s feeling the older man’s arm tighten around him as his other hand rested on his lower back massaging the tension, relaxing the muscles.  “Ready?” he whispered against those lips.  Victor nodded, holding Yuuri’s eyes as their lips parted.

 

Yuuri began rising slowly becoming used to the feel of him, to the motion.  Those movements continued to move up and down slowly, as Yuuri became more accustomed to Victor, feeling Victor’s fingers on his hips.  He shifted slightly and found he liked that angle better, biting his lips, experimenting and getting to know the feelings between them.   Victor’s wrecked expression told Yuuri he was happy with whatever Yuuri attempted.  But Yuuri was a dancer.  His next drop included a gyration of those hips and Victor’s eyes widened with surprise, color lifting into his cheeks from pleasure.

 

Yuuri continued to move up and down, changing his rhythm every so often, adjusting the angle.  He found himself leaning back at some point, arching his back, relying on Victor’s hands to support him.  Victor leaned forward and tongued his nipples from that angle and received a surprised hiss from Yuuri in payment.  As Yuuri continued to bounce in abandon, Victor felt his control slipping.

 

“Yuuri…I’m close.”

 

Yuuri reached down and Victor watched in fascination as he remained arched, bouncing, touching himself, pulling and jerking his member with a twist in time with his movements.  Victor could only watch in fascination as Yuuri pulled his own orgasm, finding release in his hands.  He gasped, the vibrations transferring to his inner walls sending Victor over the edge.  His hold on Yuuri’s hips guided Yuuri to continue to ride as his orgasm culminated.  Breathless, Yuuri fell into Victor’s arms.

 

“Wow!” Victor exclaimed under his breath, wrapping his arms around Yuuri. 

 

Yuuri chuckled against the crook of his neck.  They lay wrapped up together while they caught their breath.  Finally, Yuuri pulled back.  “I’m going to shower off.  Do you think you can run that bath?”

 

Victor grinned.  “I’m at your service,” he answered with a wink.  It took him a moment to get the bath adjusted and the water running before he joined Yuuri to rinse off in the shower.  Taking his hand, he murmured, “Let’s soak off the aches in that tub.”

 

As Yuuri climbed into the warm water, Victor worked the controls.  Soon the bubbles began running through the water and Victor stepped in behind Yuuri.  His lover moved into his arms, Victor’s legs parting to accommodate him.  They remained quiet for a few minutes, just resting.  Then Yuuri asked Victor, “Are you nervous?”

 

“About the ice show?”

 

Yuuri nodded.

 

“A little.  I mean, I expect it to go well and anything that doesn’t work out will probably not be noticed by the audience.  But it’s the first one I’ve coordinated on my own.”

 

“I feel like I haven’t offered enough help,” Yuuri murmured.

 

Victor shook his head.  “This is one of the things that goes with my degree.  I need to get used to handling events.”

 

“You know all that you have to do is ask.”

 

Victor tightened his arms around Yuuri.  “I know.  I want you to skate beautifully.  You and Yura,  _ Eros _ and  _ Agape _ .  I am looking forward to seeing what the others bring to the ice.  Tomorrow will be busy.  I know your parents will need help at the inn.  And then there is the first practice.  It’s for the Ice Castle and it will be good.  I’m really not worried.  Just…a little nervous.  I get that way with every show.”

 

Yuuri looked up at him surprised.  “I never can tell.”

 

“Practice,” Victor explained.  “I am skilled at covering my emotions when the press is around.  It…took work to break that habit around friends.  But with you…you pull away all my masks.  And when I try to put one in place, you call me on it.  And…I need that.  Because I don’t want to…disappear in myself.”

 

“I won’t let you disappear, Vitya.  I love you too much.”

 

“And I’ll help hold you together, my Yuuri.”

 

* * *

 

 

The couple stepped lighter as they left the hotel.  Yuuri turned his phone on and his eyes widened.  “Phichit’s coming!”

 

Victor looked over his shoulder as he asked, “When?”

 

“He arrives tomorrow.  At noon.”

 

“We can meet him after our appointments with Sasaki.  Do you think he’ll want to help out?  The other skaters start to arrive tomorrow as well.”

 

Yuuri’s eyes widened.  “Where will we put him?”

 

Victor tapped his lip with his index finger.  They were booked up at the inn with the skaters and guests.  “There is that storage room off of our room,” Victor suggested. 

 

“Okay…we can put down a futon.  I will clear it out this evening.”  Yuuri started tugging at the hem of his shirt as he started making mental lists of everything that needed to be done. 

 

Victor sighed, pulling his boyfriend into his arms.  “I can help.  Don’t stress…it’ll be fine.  Phichit is here to see you.”  He ran his hands in circles between Yuuri’s shoulder blades feeling the stress start to dispel.  

 

Yuuri hugged him close as he mumbled into Victor’s chest, “He’s here to work with you on the ice show.  He wants to coordinate one next summer in Thailand.” 

 

Victor chuckled.  “That may be a small part of it but you two have been exceptionally close for the last two or three years.  Moving apart, I’m sure, has pulled on some heartstrings.  The ice show gives him an excuse to see you.”

 

Yuuri chewed his lower lip.  “I do miss him, Victor.  There is only so much you can do between text messages and Facetime.”

 

Victor pulled him into his arms.  “In a perfect world, Chris and Phichit would live in the same town as the two of us and we could see each other every day if we chose.”

 

“I don’t think Hasetsu is ready for that combination,” Yuuri deadpanned causing Victor to grin.  

 

“Ok…so tomorrow is busy.  Let’s get home and help get ready.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yae! Phichit is on the way!


	26. Chapter 26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Therapy sessions, Phichit arrives, and the show goes into rehearsal mode.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, BluSkates, for the edits and the insight.

* * *

 

They worked late, helping Mari with laundry, helping Hiroko in the kitchen, and working on one of the pumps for Toshiya.  Reaching their room, they finally opened up the storage room and set it up for Phichit.  Falling into bed, Victor reached across the distance between them and laced his fingers with Yuuri’s.  “Remind me that this is a good idea,” he murmured.

 

Yuuri chuckled.  “I have every confidence in you.”  A tug of Victor’s hand pulled Yuuri into his arms where he wrapped around Victor and soon fell asleep.

 

The next morning was greeted with more chaos.  The couple helped until they had to leave for their train.  Yuuri leaned against Victor and felt the arms wrap around him.  “I feel like it should be the other way around,” he confessed guiltily.

 

“I may need you later,” Victor pointed out.

 

* * *

 

 

Yuuri was seated across from Sasaki sipping tea while she talked to Yuuri about his anxiety triggers revealed in his journals.  “It helped that you highlighted passages that tied to your non-PTSD related anxiety.  I think the diagnosis of general anxiety disorder may have been off.”

 

“I did not care for the psychiatrist that made that diagnosis,” Yuuri confessed.  “He was really pushy about medication, so I tried it and found myself non-functioning.”

 

“Yes, when reading the notes from your last psychiatrist, I can see you are very sensitive to medications.  But what I’m seeing, though, is more of a [ social anxiety](https://www.anxiety.org/social-anxiety-disorder-sad) .  Your symptoms line up almost perfectly.

 

“I’ve often been referred to as shy…but really, I retreat from people because they set off my anxiety.  I don’t want to bother anyone.”

 

“I’ve observed several social anxiety ticks…your shyness, your tendency to be embarrassed, blushing, and several others…many of which can be tied to your PTSD.  However, your journals go further back.  You keep good records of your attacks and the events on either side of them.”

 

“I kept thinking if I could figure out what caused it, I could stop it.”

 

“I was thinking EMDR therapy because your PTSD suggested there might have been an earlier trigger.  Can you tell me how far back you remember this taking place?”

 

Yuuri frowned.  “I’ve always been shy.  My mother was friends with Minako-sensei who teaches ballet.  So I started lessons…around six.  She thought it might help me to come out of my shell.  Really, it helped…but not in the way she was thinking.  I was still shy but now I had a place to retreat and deal with my emotions.  They become…overwhelming.”

 

“Do you find yourself often overwhelmed?”

 

“It depends…I overreact to stress.  In my mind I know this, but it doesn’t shake the feelings.”

 

“Have you always felt emotionally overwhelmed?”

 

Yuuri nodded.  “My mother called me a sensitive child.”

 

“Did you hide a lot when you were overwhelmed?”

 

“Y-yes.  How did you know?”

 

“I’m working out a theory,” she explained.  “While reading your journals, I see indications of a highly sensitive adult which would imply the same about you as a child.  This would lead to regular episodes of being emotionally overwhelmed and feeling anxiety.  Because you would be very sensitive to what others are thinking and saying, picking up on their emotions and extrapolating from that, it could develop into social anxiety.  Does…the texture of clothes against your skin bother you?”

 

“Y-yes.  When I’m having a bad day, I often grab Victor’s clothes which are softer than my own.  He wants to take me shopping and help me build a wardrobe of softer fabrics.  I-I’ve been resisting him on this.”

 

“First of all, don’t.  Second, why were you resisting?”

 

“I-I know Victor has expensive tastes...and, well...I’m not fond of shopping.  Too many people.  Too much activity.  It’s one I can avoid.”

 

“That hypersensitivity to stimuli is normal for you.  Lights, sounds, touches, even smells…they likely overwhelm you more than others around you.”

 

Yuuri nods.  “When we were at the photoshoot, the perfumer was surprised that I could pick out the scent notes of the perfume they developed for me and I’ve known Victor’s for a long time.  Cardamom and cedar.”  A smile teased his lips before he relaxed his expression.

 

“Okay…so we have a solid idea what is causing all of this.  The good news is that highly sensitive people have a strong artistic intelligence.”

 

“Which is why my artistic interpretation scores are higher…okay.  So this is me.”  Yuuri nodded thoughtfully, accepting the therapist’s words.  “Will you write down those words for me?”

 

She handed him a piece of paper, already anticipating his request.  “I’ve noticed you and Victor both like to do your own research.  This will help.”

 

He studied the paper thoughtfully.  “So where does that leave me in therapy?”

 

“EMDR works with social anxiety if it stems from earlier traumatic events.  Such as bullying as a child.  However, it will not be nearly as effective in situations such as yours because this…is your predisposition.  In this case, we have two options.  Cognitive based therapy and/or medications.  I don’t recommend the latter due to your drug sensitivity.  Cognitive based therapy is the gold standard for social anxiety and it will help you to connect your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors so that you work through the underlying causes of your anxiety.  You’ve…already begun the process.  Your journals show that you are trying to make the connections.  Did you study psychology at university?”

 

“I took several courses but my major was focused on dance.”

 

A smile played at her lips.  “I could tell based on some of your margin comments.  You go back through your journals and analyze what is taking place.  This is a doable process and any good therapist will be able to continue with you once you leave for Russia.”

 

“So I can be cured?” Yuuri asked, hope threading into his voice.

 

She tightened her lips.  “This is a part of who you are and you need to accept that.  However, you can learn to manage your symptoms so that they no longer control you.”

 

Yuuri nodded.  “Okay…well, that is…something. Better.  Okay, then let’s do this.  I’ve dealt with this all of my life and taking the psych courses were mostly about solving this puzzle.”  He finished by touching his head.

 

“You will still have days in which your anxiety is on edge but you will be able to better manage your symptoms,” she warned.  She watched Yuuri, waiting for him to process the information.  When he nodded she continued, laying out the process, sharing with him the detailed notes she made from his journals.  Pulling out a worksheet, she discussed with him the physical symptoms he experienced and didn’t experience, ticking them off one by one. “For your homework, I want you to answer the following two questions.  You can do this as a journal entry.  First, describe the most recent time during which you felt anxiety.  Secondly, describe your worst anxiety attack.  For the recent event, list as many thoughts you can remember about that situation.  These can include thoughts in anticipation, during, and after.”

 

“I’m heading into a stressful weekend.  Could I write about that?”

 

“Are you feeling anxious about the weekend?”

 

“A little.  We will have several skaters staying with us starting today and participating in an ice show coordinated by Victor.  I…know he has his own stress.  So I’ve been…holding it in.”  Yuuri dropped his head, as the confession slipped out.

 

“It sounds like you are having more than a little anticipation.  Yes.  You can analyze this situation as your recent experience.  However, I encourage you to find someone to talk to if you can’t open up to your partner.”

 

Yuuri nodded.  “My old roommate is arriving today.  He can usually read me pretty well.  He’ll likely bring it up to me but if he doesn’t then I’ll make a point to talk it over with him.”

 

“Good.  Now, when you return on Monday, we’ll discuss your notes and I’ll show you how to break it down into three component areas:  physiological, behavioral, and cognitive.”  She smiled reassuringly.  “I know it’s a lot to process and that’s why I made notes for you.  I’m also returning your journals to you.”

 

“I…am actually good.   I like the way you are breaking down the process.  Okay…are we finished?”

 

“Yes, Yuuri.  Unless you need to discuss something else.”

 

Yuuri considered her question.  “I’m worried about Victor.  What do I need to do to help him with his depression?”

 

Sasaki considered his question thoughtfully before reaching into a file drawer.  “Supporting your partner is a key element as you are his most trusted person.  Here is a brochure to help you work through the process.  Write down any questions that you have and we can discuss it next visit.”

 

Yuuri looked at the brochure before sliding it into one of his journals.  “Thank you, Sasaki-sensei.”

 

“You’re welcome.  I’ll see you Monday.”

 

* * *

 

 

Victor settled into the chair Sasaki-sensei offered and flashed her a brilliant smile.  She studied him before responding, “Good morning, Victor-san.  How are you today?”

 

“I’ve been very busy preparing for this ice show.”

 

“I see.  Sometimes our work is demanding,” she responded as she studied him.  “And sometimes we are demanding of ourselves, putting on masks because we are trying to avoid facing something.”

 

Victor’s smile fell.  “My apologies, Sasaki-sensei.  I should know better than to try and snow you with charm.”

 

“It is counterproductive.  If you are truly here to get help, then we need to be honest.”

 

“My program is busy but…my thoughts when I become still…they feel like I’m coming in for a crash.  As long as I’m busy, I feel fine.  When I’m still, I become…empty.”

 

“How do you combat that?”

 

“I take a walk.  Talk to Yuuri.  Skate.  Dance.  Shop.  Drink.  Look for something to make me feel...something.”

 

“When you are with Yuuri, how do you feel?”

 

Victor furrowed his brow.  “I love Yuuri.  I…don’t sink into that numbness.  My friend Chris attributed my depression to loneliness.  But, wouldn’t I seek out friends if that was the case?  I know…with Yuuri, it feels like I’m waking up.  Things are more…vivid.  He…brings color.  He gives me life.”

 

“Have you ever considered yourself in love before Yuuri?”

 

Victor slowly shook his head.  “I’ve only been in two other long term relationships.  Sasha, an art student, moved in and we lived together for a year.  However, we weren’t in love.  Not long after we moved in, everything was just convenient.  Convenient company.  Convenient activity.  Convenient sex.

 

“With Chris, we were more…friends with benefits.  He’s still my best friend.  We haven’t…enjoyed the benefits for some time.  I love him…but I was never in love with him.

 

“But with Yuuri…he awakens things in me long dead.”

 

“How did you combat loneliness?”

 

“I poured myself into my skating.  Shopped.  Went to clubs and parties.  A few one night stands.”

 

“What are the things inhibiting close relationships?”

 

“It seems often people are wanting things from me and using me.  I slowly started closing myself off bit by bit.  Yuuri was the only one able to push back all the walls.”

 

“Why is that?”

 

“When he skates, his body becomes the music.  He can express something more beautiful than anyone I’ve ever seen.  That…affects me.  I had to meet him because of it.  And when it finally happened, he stole my breath away.  He spoke a language that I understood.”

 

“But you work with other skaters.  Surely you found a common language with them as well.”

 

Victor shrugged, a soft smile on his face.  “True…but, something different exists with Yuuri.  Yuuri, so generous, he grabs hold of my heart even as his breaks so easily.”

 

Sasaki couldn’t help the smile touching her lips at Victor’s declarations.  “I’ve suspected your depression stemmed from loneliness as well.  The mindfulness approach I’m going to suggest will shake you out of autopilot.  That is likely the disconnect you’re receiving.  You are...used to feeling nothing.  Mindfulness makes you more aware of what you are doing and forces you to make conscious choices.  I’m going to give you a resource that will lead you to an online course on Mindfulness-based Cognitive Therapy.

 

“Now…I’m not going to leave you unsupported.  As you work through the program which is around six weeks, I’ll be here available to support you through the beginning.  I’m going to refer you to a cognitive behaviorist in Russia for when you arrive in St. Petersburg.

 

“For homework, I want you to start the course I’m giving you.”  Sasaki placed the paper on MBCT into Victor’s hand.  “I also want you to make note of how often you are on social media.  Monday, we will discuss the link between social media and loneliness.  It’s ironic how something designed to connect us in a society actually isolates us.  This is the social media paradox.”

 

“My Yuuri has blackout periods with social media.  Perhaps I should consider this.”

 

“It will be something we discuss.  However, for now I want you to log your normal social media activities.”

 

“Okay, Sasaki-sensei.  Anything else?”

 

“You will find that I’ve handed you a pretty steady homework assignment.   So I’m going to say this is enough for now.  Until Monday.”  Sasaki saw Victor out of her office.

 

* * *

 

 

The skaters met Phichit at the airport and rushed back home.  Yuri had texted several times informing them of the goings on at the inn including skaters arriving, some mix up in rooms but sorted now, a bit of drama between a couple of coaches, and how katsudon had best be on the menu for the night.

 

“I’m not skating, so how can I help?” Phichit offered, looking from Yuuri to Victor, as they rode the train to Hasetsu.

 

“I can put you in if you want to skate,” Victor offered.

 

Phichit shook his head.  “Nope.  You can see my program for the first time at China.”

 

“Because of course you won’t post bits and pieces of it on social media,” Yuuri teased with a roll of his eyes.

 

Phichit shrugged, grinning.  “But you won’t see the whole picture.”

 

“Uh-huh…we’ll see.”

 

“Bets he posts it by the end of August,” Victor added.

 

Phichit fakes a look of betrayal.  “I thought we were friends!”

 

“And that’s why we know you so well,” Yuuri pointed out.

 

Phichit pouts but only for a minute.  “So, Victor.  How many skaters do you have in this show?”

 

“Ten including the Yu(u)ris.  Most of these skaters have not gone international but it gives them the opportunity to perform before an audience.”

 

“So it’s more of an exhibition,” Phichit surmised.

 

Victor nodded.  “It takes almost a year to coordinate an actual ice show.  This is an exhibition on ice to promote the sport of ice skating.  The proceeds will go towards some needed repairs at Ice Castle of Hasetsu.  If any funds are left, it will be donated to a scholarship foundation that supports local figure skaters.  Some of our skaters are the recipients of that scholarship.”

 

“Oh.  So you know about Yuuri’s foundation,” Phichit stated teasingly, knowing full well how it was funded.

 

Victor blinked then nodded.   _ Of course Phichit knows.  The all-knowing Phichit knows everything.  _  Yuuri protested.  “It’s not  _ my _ foundation!”

 

Both other men deadpanned their expressions.  “It’s not your foundation…but you founded it,” Victor stated.

 

“And you manage it,” Phichit added.  “All of the candidates are screened by you then sent before a committee.”

 

“Well, you helped last year,” Yuuri pointed out to Phichit.

 

Phichit rolled his eyes.  “You laid out the criteria.  I just helped you sort.”  Turning to Victor, he added, “He’s very demanding even if he isn’t the major financier any more.  What he doesn’t realize is that it’s his name’s attachment to the organization that garners the support.”

 

“That doesn’t surprise me,” Victor responded.

 

“Well, this will give me an idea of how to set up a show even if it’s an exhibition,” Phichit moved on. 

 

“So you want to do a full show,” Victor surmised.

 

Phichit smiled and nodded.  “My goal is to bring more interest to the sport in Thailand.”

 

“I’ve helped coordinate events such as that and have some knowledge if you need some help,” Victor offered cheerfully.

 

“Vitya,” Yuuri warned.

 

Victor turned in surprise.  “What?”

 

“You are stretching yourself too thin,” Yuuri stated as he held his lover’s eyes.

 

Victor huffed but nodded.  “Fine.  Phichit, you can still talk to me.”

 

Phichit grinned acknowledging Yuuri’s hold on Victor’s reins.  “I may do that.  But I won’t risk the wrath of Yuuri.”

 

Yuuri turned towards the window, his hand absently stroking Cocoa’s fur.  Phichit studied his friend thoughtfully.  The older brunette seemed more stable than that night in Paris.  They had spent Saturday together as well and Yuuri seemed better even that day.  He flew out that night.  A facetime call earlier that week told Phichit that it was likely the alcohol that aggravated the episode and that Yuuri had to limit his intake to one drink, such as a glass of wine. Phichit flew from Switzerland after meeting Chris’s parents and grandmother and spending a few days enjoying the other man’s company.  Of course, changing planes midway was enough to throw Yuuri off on the destination.  He wondered how much Victor knew.  He wanted to keep this quiet for now, not knowing for sure how he felt about it.

 

* * *

 

 

They left the train and found their way through the station and into Hasetsu.  Several posters greeted them advertising  _ Hot Springs on Ice _ .   They met Mari who picked them up and took them back to the inn.

 

“We were running short on rooms.  I hope you don’t mind the storage room.  It’s the same size as my childhood room,” Yuuri mumbled, opening the room to show Phichit. 

 

Phichit went in and noted the closet rod and small chest of drawers on one side, the futon on the other and a window in the middle of the adjacent wall.  All in all, it wasn’t a bad little room.  Turning to Yuuri, he grinned.  “It will be fine.  However, I have to see it.  The Victor Nikiforov shrine wall.”

 

“Ack!  Don’t say it like that!  It sounds so morbidly stalker-like!”  Yuuri led Phichit out in the hall and knocked on Yuri’s door.  No one answered so he eased the door open into the empty room. 

 

Phichit pushed the door open and looked around the room with appraisal.  “I think there are more posters here than in Detroit.  Where did you send the posters from Detroit?”

 

Yuuri chuckled.  “Well, Victor wouldn’t let me get rid of them.  So we boxed them up and shipped them to Russia.  I’m not sure what we are going to do with them.”

 

“He had me send some of the photos from my exhibit there as well.  And didn’t he have art commissioned from Sasha?”

 

“Yes.”  Yuuri frowned and Phichit looked over at him sharply.

 

“Is something wrong?”

 

Yuuri shrugged and pursed his lips.  “Maybe not.  I don’t know.  Sasha and his boyfriend broke up and he’s…not moved out of Victor’s apartment.  I mean, I don’t mind if Yura stays with us but Victor’s old boyfriend?”

 

“Well, if it were Chris you would be fine with it,” Phichit pointed out.

 

Yuuri pursed his lips and shook his head.  “This feels…different.  Chris was more of a friends with benefits sort of thing.  Victor and Sasha lived together for a year.”

 

“So…you’re jealous,” Phichit concluded.

 

Yuuri squirmed before answering, “Maybe…a little?  Is that wrong?”

 

“I don’t know,” Phichit said thoughtfully.  “I mean, you can trust Victor.  The guy only has eyes for you.  But who knows what this other guy is about.”

 

Yuuri nodded while frowning.  “Victor told me about it this morning on the way to our counseling session.  I haven’t even had a chance to respond to it.  He’s been so busy.   _ We’ve _ been so busy.”

 

“Well, how long has Victor known?”

 

“He received the message while we were on the train.  He didn’t look pleased,” Yuuri concluded with a thoughtful frown.

 

Phichit brightened as if that said it all.  “There you have it.  He told you right away.  I’m sure Victor will sort it out.  He just needs time to figure it out and as you said…he’s busy.”

 

“Gah!  Why can’t everything just fall into place for once?!”  Yuuri leaned back against the facing will rolling his eyes back.

 

Phichit chuckled in response.  “Now where would the fun be in that.  Come on.  Let’s find Victor.”

 

* * *

 

 

The man in question was downstairs talking with some of the coaches.  The skaters were sprawled out on the sofa or wandering the grounds.  Mari leaned towards Yuuri and commented, “They’re a lively bunch.”

 

“Have they caused any trouble?” Yuuri inquired.

 

“No, nothing like that.  Just…energetic.”

 

Yuuri smiled.  “We are about to take them down to the rink for some ice time.  That should quiet things for a while.  Where’s Yura?”

 

“Minako offered him studio time and he took her up on it.”

 

“I knew he was a smart boy,” Yuuri grinned.  “I’m tempted to join him.”  Turning towards the busy room, he added, “But I guess I should be the supportive boyfriend.”  

 

Phichit laughed, clamping him on the shoulder.  “That was the place where you should have sighed dramatically.”

 

“If I were Russian, perhaps,” he murmured before tugging Phichit’s hand and approaching Victor.

 

The silver haired man turned with a bright smile.  “Ah, Yuuri.  Are we ready?”

 

“I think we have some skaters with energy to burn.  Let’s get them to the rink.”  He turned towards the coaches and bowed, offering polite greetings in Japanese and explaining the schedule for the day.  Victor and Phichit rounded up the skaters.

 

* * *

 

 

Phichit became Victor’s right hand man, helping him coordinate and get the skaters in order.  Yuuko handled the niceties with the coaches and older skaters.  Takeshi made sure the facilities were in order.  Yuuri, being the oldest of the skaters in the show, found himself dealing with fan questions.  Finally Yuri arrived and they organized the introduction.  Phichit had the songs laid out and moved to the soundbooth to handle the music.  He had an earpiece that linked to Victor for communication.

 

The first five skaters warmed up.  Yuuri would be the opening skate with  _ Lost Boy _ adjusting the choreography to bring out each of the young skaters.  Then the five youngest skaters would skate, three still in novice level.  The triplets would do a performance in between each of the groups of five, something they worked out with Victor to [ _Totoro_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5dv_iIuFJtA) , bridging the gap between the younger and older skaters.  Once the ice is smooth once more, the next group would warm up.  Then Yuri would open the second set with [ _Agape_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xt_VZ13voCQ) .   Kenjirou Minami skating to [ _Minami’s Boogie_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N8q6kG07ILI) , Yuuto Omiki to [ _Dragonborn_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hJc9Fko0mf4) , and Hikaru Fujiwara to [ _One Last Wish_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pPzISZKuguY) , would follow.  Yuuri took the final skate with [ _Eros_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cfv8qTZevrw) .    

 

While Yuuri waited for the second round of skaters, he realized someone was standing nearby.  Turning, he smiled.  “Yuuto-kun.  How may I help you?”

 

Omiki shifted shyly.  “Katsuki-san, would you mind…may I skate to your [ _Unravel_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3vf7xLraZow) choreography as my exhibition skate this year.”

 

Yuuri’s lips opened in surprise.  “Ummm…of course.  I’m honored you want to skate to my choreography.”

 

“Kenjirou-kun said that you gave him permission to skate  _ Lohengrin _ .  I thought…it couldn’t hurt to ask.”

 

“No, not at all,” Yuuri stated with a smile. 

 

The shy skater smiled in return.  “Arigato!”  He bowed, and ran off towards his coach. 

 

Yuri slipped up beside him.  “You’ll have more of that.  Those medals keep you on the pedestal.”

 

“I’m not sure I’m ready for that, Yura.  I just want to skate my programs.”

 

“It’s the price we pay.  At least you don’t have such a crazy fan group.”  Yuri shivered. 

 

Yuuri frowned.  “I don’t know about that.  I tend to be…oblivious.  I’m also always on social media blackout close to competitions and performances.”

 

Yuri made a face.  “I’m constantly being told to be nice to fans.  Sometimes I just want to skate.”

 

“Same,” Yuuri answered with a sigh.

 

Victor signaled them onto the ice to warm up.

 

* * *

  

 

Victor was laid back on his bed when Yuuri joined him.  “Everything alright?” he asked.

 

Yuuri made a face.  “Just helping Mari with some extra laundry.  How about you?”

 

“Being in charge is exhausting,” Victor pouted.

 

“Rethinking the skate school idea?” Yuuri asked with a raised eyebrow.

 

Victor’s eyes widened in surprise.  “Nooo!”

 

Yuuri chuckled and climbed up the bed to stretch out next to him.  As if on cue, Phichit kicked his door open and cocked an eyebrow at the lovers.  “Not that I mind watching but I think Yuuri would refuse to look or talk to me for the next year,” he quipped.

 

Victor snickered and Yuuri hid his face.  “We weren’t going to…do that!” he protested, his voice muffled by Victor’s shoulder.

 

Victor shrugged and winked towards Phichit who grinned in return.  Pushing Yuuri back, Victor smiled tenderly.  “I have something for you…brought all the way from Russia by my trusty kitten.”  He sat up and went to the package sitting on the sofa since Yuri’s arrival.  He’d seen Yuuri thumb the cardboard from time to time but then leaving it behind.  He knew the shy brunette was curious.  Bringing it to Yuuri, he placed the package in his hands.  “When I saw the picture on your nightstand in the other room, I knew you had to have this.”

 

Yuuri opened the box and his eyes widened, clutching the costume to his check, tears edging his eyes.  “V-vitya!  This is the costume you wore…when I met you the first time.  When you did the ice show in Tokyo…not long after you became the Junior World Champion.  You seemed…so out of reach at that time but Minako insisted I go talk to you and even gave me a push.  You didn’t hesitate, bending down for our picture.  We made V’s with our fingers.”

 

“Such a detailed memory.  I wish we started building a friendship from that moment forward.  We lost so much time,” he lamented gently.

 

“I was twelve and you were sixteen.  What was the likelihood of that?”

 

Victor shrugged shaking off the unexpected sadness.  “Try it on!  We may need to make some adjustments!”

 

The fit was close since it was designed before Victor’s growth spirt.  Stepping back to survey Yuuri in the costume, he smiled tenderly.  “You look…beautiful.”

 

Yuuri blushed.  “It may need some adjustment, though.”

 

Victor nodded, stepping closer to tug at the shoulders and checking the waist.  “I think we can get by with some darts in the waistband for now and have it professionally altered when we get to St. Petersburg.  Hold still.  Phichit, will you bring me that sewing kit on the chest of drawers?”

 

Soon Victor had some pins in place and then quickly looped some black thread through a needle.  Yuuri froze in place as Victor worked through the fabric carefully.  Finally he removed the pins and stepped back to study his handiwork.  “No one would pay me for the work but it’ll do for now.  No one will be able tell in the audience.”

 

Phichit also nodded with approval.  “I now know who to call if I need a quick fix on a costume.”

 

“Like we all can’t do some basic sewing,” Victor pointed out.  Victor unzipped the back of the costume.  “Hang it up.  We’ll take it by the dry cleaners tomorrow and put a rush on it.”

 

Before he stepped out of the costume, Yuuri threw his arms around Victor.  Victor laughed happily as Yuuri thanked him through his kisses.  Phichit shook his head with a tender smile even as he took a picture, discreetly sending it to Chris.  Chris responded with a heart emoji.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had so many sources for this chapter. If you have any questions on the therapies, feel free to message me. My tabs were many.
> 
> Hasetsu is drawing to a close in a few more chapters, around two weeks in their world. You may want to subscribe to the series so that you don't miss the transition. 
> 
> As always, comments, kudos, and shares are welcome and encouraged. Thank you so much for reading. :)


	27. Chapter 27

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> KatsuDAMN!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I'm sitting here with my only [YOI t-shirt](http://www.hottopic.com/product/yuri-on-ice-victor-and-yuri-grand-prix-t-shirt/10931152.html?cgid=pop-culture-shop-by-license-yuri-on-ice#start=3) posting this...because...why not?
> 
> Thank you, BluSkates, for editing this! Several parts were dedicated to our conversations!

* * *

 

Friday dawned early with Phichit and Yuri meeting Victor and Yuuri for breakfast.  Phichit was put in charge of the morning practice, allotting half an hour for each skater on ice.  Yuri was in charge of music.

 

“So, where are you going?” Phichit asked surprised at the responsibility.

 

Yuuri shifted awkwardly, which caught Phichit’s eagle eye.  “Just a counseling session.”

 

“Didn’t you have one of those yesterday?” Yuri asked. 

 

“Oh, wait!  This is the sex therapist,” Phichit remembered suddenly.  “How is that going?”

 

Yuri’s eyes went wide, throwing his hands on his ears and singing, “la la la la la.”

 

Victor studied the youth with amusement before answering, “It’s not what people normally think of when they consider a sex therapist.  Our therapy isn’t just about sex but about making sure we interact together in our relationship in a healthy manner.  With all that has happened since the beginning of our relationship and what we have uncovered about our past lives and struggles, we want to make sure we are on the right track.”

 

Yuuri glared at Victor clearly thinking he was oversharing.  “I think your openness will be the topic of today’s session.”

 

Victor looked over with surprise.  “It’s not like I gave details,” he protested.

 

“Although Phichit is fine with details,” the Thai man offered.

 

Both answered with a clear “No!” never leaving one another’s eyes. 

 

Yuri cautiously removed his hands.  “Is it safe?” he asked Yuuri.  The older brunette nodded.  Phichit smirked.  Victor grinned.  Yuri looked doubtful but relieved.  Finally, he stated, “It’s cool that you’re willing to work on your relationship.  But I don’t want the details.”  With that, he slipped away from the kitchen leaving the others to stare after him.

 

“He heard more than he let on,” Yuuri surmised.

 

Victor chuckled.  “I’ve learned a long time ago never to underestimate the angry kitten.”

 

“So no details?” Phichit asked once more.  The other two walked out leaving Phichit to clean up.

 

* * *

 

 

 

Hashimoto greeted the couple with a welcoming smile.  “It’s been two weeks.  How are you doing?”

 

Victor reached for Yuuri’s hand and sighed.  “I think we are tired.  Between travel and the ice show, we’ve been butting heads.”

 

“Because you overshare,” Yuuri stated with a raised eyebrow.

 

Victor smiled benignly.  “I shared no details.  I just gave a general overview.”

 

Yuuri made an irritated grumble before continuing.  “And you keep agreeing to things when you know your schedule will be tight.  Volunteering, even.  You have to take care of yourself before you take care of other people.”

 

“Yuuri…”

 

“If I hadn’t been there, you would have been coordinating the entire show with Phichit as well as planning to help coach me next year  _ AND _ skate.  You are going to kill yourself at this rate.  And…that’s not acceptable.  On top of that, I don’t know how many choreography jobs you’ve accepted.  You have to slow down.  _  I _ need you.  And if you’ve stretched yourself too thin, you can’t be there for me.”  Yuuri lowered his eyes, softening his voice.  “I wish I didn’t need you as much as I do but…I know it’s too much...what’s coming up.  I just need to know you’ll be there for me.”

 

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Victor protested.

 

Yuuri thinned his lips.  “I’ve tried to but you just brush past my words.”

 

Victor blinked, mentally reviewing the last week.  The two events started coming into focus.  “I  _ did _ back off when you asked me not to stretch myself thin,” he murmured.  “And on the other thing…I am very cautious about what to share.  It is practiced.  Much like working with press, you feed them a little, just enough, and they are gone when you haven’t really said anything at all.”

 

“I’m just…more private than that,” Yuuri stated, his chin firmed up in quiet stubbornness. 

 

“And I realize that,  _ lyubov moya _ .  Phichit is your  _ best _ friend.  He knows things about you that  _ I _ don’t know.  I only left breadcrumbs.”  He trailed off quietly, surprised, not expecting the fight that opened up in Hashimoto’s office.

 

Finally, Hashimoto spoke.  “It sounds like you’ve been stewing on a couple of matters and not fully communicating with your partner, Yuuri.”

 

Yuuri huffed but then agreed, “Perhaps.”

 

Turning to Victor, he added, “And you seem to be making promises and statements without thinking about the ramifications for both you and your partner.”

 

“That is…possible,” Victor murmured frowning.

 

“You’ve named two bad moments from the last week.  What about the good things?”

 

Yuuri blinked in surprise.  “Victor…gifted me with a skate costume that was tied to the first time I met him.”

 

Victor smiled, reflecting on that moment.  “You were…beautiful.  Entirely worth it.”

 

“And Victor, can you give a good memory?”

 

Victor offered a rather wicked smile.  “I would…but my partner would prefer that I not overshare.  So I’m going to respect that.”

 

Yuuri blushed, memories of the love hotel coming to the forefront of his thoughts.  “We…ah…we have finally…”

 

Victor’s eyes watched his lover with amusement.  “I think the word you are looking for, dearest, is that we finally fucked.”

 

Yuuri covered his face with both hands.  “Vitya!”

 

“Would you prefer that I say we made love?” Victor protested.  “That’s a little ambiguous.  I mean, I consider everything we’ve done right up to that moment making love as well.”

 

Yuuri sighed…dramatically…and looked at Hashimoto.  “See what I’m dealing with?”

 

The therapist laughed catching the other two off guard.  “It sounds like a healthy relationship to me.  You are going to argue but that means you are willing to fight for what is important.  As long as you listen in the end, then all is well.  You will compromise, one will give this time, the other the next.  You will…dance.  Both trading off the lead.  Which is why your first assignment was to dance.  However, as long as you don’t trade off your essence, you will both do fine.  Victor, I’m not seeing major codependency issues although you have periods of neediness.  Yuuri, you have worked through your sexuality bit by bit and even if you do not wish to speak about it openly with me, it seems as if you and your partner do communicate.  Just make sure you both talk when something is upsetting you.  Both of you.  That is the only issue I’ve seen today.”

 

“So…we’re finished?” Victor asked uncertainly.

 

“I told you last time that you probably won’t need another session.  You and Yuuri have one of the healthiest relationships I’ve seen and given your history, I’ve been more than a little fascinated.  It is because you both openly communicate as a general rule and accept each other.  You both meet the other half way.  Today’s argument was just that.  Nothing major.  And one dealt with concern for the other and the other was a statement of will…Yuuri was forcing you to acknowledge that something makes him uncomfortable...which is important for him to communicate.”

 

They both thanked the therapist and left the office a little disoriented.  “Now what do we do?” Yuuri asked knowing that they weren’t expected until the afternoon.

 

Victor grinned.  “I bet they have one of those little hotels in Fukuoka.”

 

Yuuri’s eyebrows raised in surprise before he fished out his phone.  It took them ten minutes to locate one that allowed same sex couples.  Another ten minutes to get there and checked in. 

Victor pulled Yuuri into the room.  “We need to take it easy.  You are performing tomorrow,” he stated with concern.

 

They sat on the edge of the bed.  “Listen,” Yuuri whispered.

 

“I don’t hear anything,” Victor murmured after a few minutes.

 

“Exactly,” he answered.  “We have an hour.  How do you want to spend it?”

 

“Let me show you just how talented I am with my tongue,” Victor leered.

 

Yuuri held his eyes.  Then Victor picked up on the twitch, the corner of his lip quirking, then the release of laughter.  Victor’s eyes widened in surprise, his own laugh breaking loose.  “I’m not sure what we are laughing about,” he confessed moments later.

 

“It struck me as funny…because you were telling me earlier how very good you were with the press, knowing what to say and what not, then you just told me you had a very talented tongue…and it…just sort of fell together into my head.”

 

Victor laid back and rolled his eyes.  “You are a goofball.”  Closing his eyes, he realized that more than anything, they just needed some tension release.  “I’d rather have you laugh at me than be mad at me,” he confessed.

 

“I don’t know that I was really that mad…just frustrated.  I love you and it upsets me when you don’t take care of yourself.”

 

“And the other thing?”

 

“With Phichit?  I know that this is going to be an ongoing argument.  Your filter isn’t as…strong as mine.  I’ll get upset when you overshare.  We’ll fight about it…then move on.”

 

“So if it wasn’t really a fight, does that mean no make-up sex?”  Victor actually pouted which caused Yuuri to giggle once more.  Victor reached for his lover pulling him on top of him.  “I love it when you laugh,” he murmured.  “Like pure joy.”  His fingers were sliding into Yuuri’s hair and stroking down his cheek.  Yuuri melted into the touch, turning to brush a kiss over Victor’s wrist.  Victor’s hand slipped around Yuuri’s neck drawing him down into a kiss.

 

The first brush of lips was a flutter, soft wings against his own lips.  The next, Yuuri opened up a little more and Victor tasted Yuuri just enough to awaken his desire.  The third kiss, Victor wrapped Yuuri in his arms, rolling them over, pressing deeper into him, hunger for this man sliding down into the pit of his stomach.  He continued to taste Yuuri, to press inward, his tongue diving into the other man, sucking the other man into him, until the need for air forced them to part breathless.

 

Yuuri stared up at him, his eyes unfocused, pupils blown.  “V-vitya,” he moaned, reaching for him once more.

 

Victor traced the line along his jaw before brushing a kiss once more over those swollen lips.  “So an hour.”

 

“Maybe more like forty-five minutes at this point,” Yuuri responded.

 

Victor nodded thoughtfully.  “I’m not going to fuck you so close to the show,” he decided.  “I don’t want you stiff.  But…I do like the taste of you.”

 

“M-me, too,” Yuuri stuttered, his fingers shaking as they traced the collar of Victor’s shirt. 

 

Victor’s eyes brightened.  “I’ve got it.”  Pulling up off of Yuuri, he began to unbutton his shirt.  Glancing over to Yuuri, he added, “In the essence of time, love, I need you to strip down.”  

 

Victor’s words startled Yuuri into action and the younger man pushed up off the bed to begin removing his own clothes.  Once they both were naked, Victor stepped forward and brushed another kiss over Yuuri’s lips before he stepped back and directed him, “Lay down.  Scoot up into the middle.”

 

“O-okay,” Yuuri responded, his eyes curious as he moved into position stretching across the bed sideways.

 

Victor grinned.  “Perfect,” he murmured.  Yuuri’s eyes followed Victor’s movements as he circled the bed.  Yuuri felt Victor’s fingers in his hair first, then a kiss brushed across his forehead.  That kissed traveled down his nose and then Victor captured his lips, tilting his head so that they were not completely mismatched as Victor worked down his body backwards.  Yuuri turned to receive him and they continued kissing until Victor tasted Yuuri’s answering moans.  He then broke the kiss and brushed another over Yuuri’s chin.

 

When he reached Yuuri’s neck, Yuuri caught on turning to answer kisses and licks into Victor’s neck and moving to that valley between his clavicle, kissing and tracing the bone with his tongue.  They answered movement for movement, sometimes trading lead.  Victor caught a nipple with his tongue first, sucking and tormenting it.  Yuuri traced a tongue along Victor’s ab muscles.  Victor teased Yuuri’s navel, kissing it thoroughly.  Yuuri nipped at Victor’s hip bone.  They both stilled.  Yuuri’s hands were on Victor’s ass as the man straddled him.  Victor had Yuuri’s hips locked down with a firm grip. 

 

Yuuri gave the first tentative lick along Victor’s length drawing a gasp from the older man like a long held breath.  Victor nuzzled the hair at the base of Yuuri’s ridge, breathing him in before answering the stroke of tongue.  Yuuri edged his tongue along the foreskin as Victor breathed out a moan through the wet kiss that he lavished on the head, his tongue dipping along the slit. 

 

Soft, hungry sounds slipped out Yuuri’s lips as Victor began sucking on the head before enveloping the head with his mouth, his tongue sliding over the surface.  Yuuri hummed along Victor’s shaft as he traced up the vein with open mouthed kisses.  Victor pulled off with shallow breaths as Yuuri sucked him into his mouth all at once, the groan that slipped out rumbling from somewhere deep in his chest.  Yuuri hummed and then gasped, losing suction as Victor slowly sucked him down.  Yuuri tugged at his balls receiving a startled “nnnggg” from the other man, not quite a moan, not quite a hum but somewhere in the middle.  He traced his fingers along the perineum and could feel Victor’s breathless release. 

 

Victor studied the man lying beneath him before choosing his next plan of attack, leaning forward to suck in his sack.  The gasp from the other man provided him with some of the satisfaction he sought.  He felt Yuuri’s lips over his length then the sucking draw as Yuuri tightened his hands on Victor’s ass, pulling him further in.  “My god, Yuuri, have you no gag reflex?” he exclaimed.  Yuuri merely hummed appreciatively as his nose nuzzled into Victor’s scrotum before pulling back.

 

Something flipped between them and they began sucking and licking in desperation, each seeking the building release coiling in their stomachs.  They began to loosen their hold on the other allowing them to meet each other with shallow thrusts of their hips.  Humming and moaning, messy with saliva as they hollowed their cheeks.  Victor came first as Yuuri took him in on another long draw, feeling the tightening along the ridge.  The ensuing moan along his own shaft brought Yuuri over the edge as they continued to suck each other through their orgasms.  Finally, they pulled off breathless, lying still, gasping for air.

 

Victor moved first, rolling off of his lover, scooting back and sitting up as he reached for Yuuri.  “Wow!”

 

Yuuri looked up, his eyes wide.  “We’ve never done that at the same time before.  It adds…an intensity.”

 

Victor chuckled.  “That’s because we’re both so damn competitive.  I think we kept trying to one-up the other.”

 

“God, though…”  Yuuri trailed off, those words being enough.

 

“Right,” Victor agreed, dropping his forehead to Yuuri’s.

 

They showered together, trading kisses and tending to the other before they dressed and headed out into the streets.  They had to return and somehow skate.

 

* * *

  

 

The two men walked into Ice Castle quite relaxed.  Phichit looked up, eyes bright, clipboard in hand.  “Good therapy session?”

 

Victor grinned.  “Couldn’t be better.”

 

Phichit studied the blush on Yuuri’s cheeks curiously.  “I see,” he answered.  “Everyone’s practiced except for Yuuri, if he wants to get a run through before we do the full show rehearsal.”

 

Yuuri nodded.  “Let me warm up then I want to go over  _ Eros _ once more.”

 

As Yuuri took the ice, Phichit kept glancing up at Victor, curiosity begging words off of his tongue.  “If I didn’t know better,” he stated quietly just for Victor’s ears, “I’d think the two of you hooked up rather than had a therapy session.”

 

“I’ve already been lectured for over-sharing,” Victor stated, turning to meet the younger man’s eyes meaningfully.  “Don’t get me in trouble with that man anymore…especially since make-up sex is tricky to obtain given our sleeping arrangements.”  Phichit cackled as Victor turned back towards the ice to watch Yuuri warm up.

 

Victor then stepped towards the boards as Yuuri moved into his opening position, turning to his lover with a smirk…and a wink.  And this was where Victor coined the term  _ KatsuDamn _ .  The eros that rolled off of the brunette as he worked the ice made Victor jealous of the surface even though he had recently been worked well by that man.  He may just need a cold shower before they began the rehearsal.

 

Yuuri’s interpretation of the music layered seduction over seduction as he drew Victor’s eyes to his every movement, adding intense layers of meaning to each turn of the wrist, tilt of the hip.  As Yuuri moved into the closing position he rested a smoldering look on Victor that blatantly invited the other man to fuck him.

 

Victor gasped then turned away.  “I’m going to take a shower.”  He heard Phichit’s cackle behind him.

 

* * *

 

 

“Where did Victor go?” Yuuri asked as he skated up to the boards.

 

Phichit was grinning.  “He said something about a shower…he was quite hot and bothered because, daaaamn, that was one hot skate.  I’ve never seen you  _ figure fuck _ someone but that is definitely what just happened.”

 

Yuuri protested, blush climbing into his cheeks, “I didn’t…”

 

“Tell me you didn’t get laid before coming to the ice,” Phichit challenged with a knowing expression.

 

Yuuri’s red face said it all.   He ducked down as he grabbed his guards, but a smile played at his lips.

 

Phichit draped an arm over the other man and added, “I think your interpretation scores would be through the roof.”

 

Yuuri chuckled.  “It was never my interpretation that held me back.”

 

“You and I know that you struggled with this at first,” Phichit pointed out.  “I know you and Victor have become more intimate since coming to Hasetsu although you’ve never gone into detail.”

 

“You assume we weren’t intimate before,” Yuuri protested.

 

Phichit smiled softly towards his friend.  “You and I both know you weren’t ready in Detroit.  And Victor’s too much of a gentleman to press you.  He would wait for you to be ready.  And you must have wanted to move into that place bad enough to face the embarrassment of going to a sex therapist.”

 

“Phichit!” Yuuri sputtered.

 

The younger man shook his head.  “Don’t deny it.  You know I can read you like a book.  At one time, I’d say better than anyone but I think Victor now is much more fluent in Yuuri.”

 

Yuuri blushed as he fiddled with his laces.

 

It was Yuri’s approach that broke the conversation.  “That’s one hell of an interpretation,” he commented.

 

“Yura!  You saw that?”

 

The youth nodded.  “I was in the sound booth running the music.  I thought Victor was out of his mind when he gave you  _ Eros _ ,” he stated honestly.  “But if you skate it like that, all I can say is that we might need to rethink your nickname.”

 

“Oh?”

 

He met Phichit’s eyes and they both nodded, stating in one voice, “KatsuDAMN!”

 

“My thoughts exactly,” Victor echoed coming up behind and slipping an arm around Yuuri’s waist, pulling him into his side possessively.  His damp hair explained his absence and Yuuri teased him with his eyes.  Victor murmured next to his ear, “Now I know what to do before you perform.”

 

Yuuri’s face went scarlet.  Phichit cackled.  Yuri scoffed an indignant, “Gross!” and stalked off.

 

After lunch, the other skaters started assembling to run through the show.  They did three complete rehearsals before Victor declared everyone ready.

 

Returning to the inn, they were greeted with the warm smells of Hiroko’s cooking.  Miso soup was served to warm them up after a day on the ice and dishes with onigiri, takoyaki, miso glazed eggplant, and tempura were laid out for the skaters to enjoy as finger foods.

 

The young skaters buzzed in appreciation and thanked their hosts with gifts and warm words before departing to their rooms.  It had been a hard day of practice and everyone was wiped out, ready to rest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Please comment, leave kudos, and/or share!


	28. Chapter 28

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (Saturday) Ice show in Hasetsu. First unveiling of short programs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, BluSkates, for reading and editing for me! :D

* * *

 

 

Victor left early, shortly after breakfast, with a small entourage of friends.  Yuuko met him at the entrance and Takeshi was already inside.  The Yu(u)ris carried their costumes back to the designated dressing area.  Phichit went up to the sound booth to double check the music.  They had invited a reporter that Yuuri felt comfortable with to announce alongside Phichit who would provide any necessary technical input and additional commentary.

 

Hasashi Morooka arrived with a camera crew and an assistant that would allow them to broadcast simultaneously in English and Japanese.  Morooka took advantage of the lull to interview Victor and Yuuri.

 

“Good morning.  We are broadcasting today from Ice Castle Hasetsu where, later, we will broadcast _ Hot Springs on Ice _ .  I’m here today with the host of this event Victor Nikiforov and his student Katsuki Yuuri.  So, tell me Mr. Nikiforov, what inspired you to produce this event?”

 

“There were several factors involved.  First of all, Ice Castle has been very supportive of my skater Katsuki-san, providing him and many others with a supportive environment to practice their art.  He has become my inspiration for this season and without him, I wouldn’t be skating to be honest.  This event will provide the funds necessary to help the owners maintain the facility and keep the doors open.  We plan to spend half of our training time in Japan, using this rink, so this is necessary.

 

“Second, we want to support upcoming skaters and continue to encourage them to improve and move up through the ranks.  This show has a wide range of skaters from the novice to senior division.

 

“Third, we want to increase interest in the sport.  Yuuri and I have already discussed the possibility of opening a skating school once we retire.  Therefore, we are laying groundwork towards that endeavor.”

 

“Katsuki-san, do you see your partnership with Mr. Nikiforov continuing past this season?”

 

Yuuri chuckled a quiet laugh.  “As we are dating, I would say so.  I’ve never been one to date casually.”

 

Morooka seemed surprise by the open declaration but decided to go with it.  “Mr. Nikiforov, do you have further commentary on this?”

 

The look of unabashed adoration the Russian skater gave Yuuri before turning towards the reporter spoke more than words.  “Yuuri and I have discussed our partnership on many levels and most definitely in the long term.  We work well together.  Yuuri has trained in dance to support our programs.  I’ve choreographed a number of programs for other skaters as well as my own.  Therefore, a partnership between us would be beneficial from a number of perspectives.”

 

Morooka loved it when his interviewees opened up other questions.  With this lead in, he asked, “Will any of your choreographies be featured in today’s event?”

 

“Yes.  We are debuting both Katsuki Yuuri’s and Yuri Plisetsky’s short programs for the season.  Katsuki-san will also perform a modified version of his  _ Lost Boy _ choreography from last season’s exhibition skate.”

 

“This show sounds like it will have some interesting programs.  We invite our viewers to join us this afternoon in Hasetsu for  _ Hot Springs on Ice _ .  Thank you for your time, Mr. Nikiforov, Katsuki-san.”

 

“Thank you, Morooka-san, for your support of the figure skating community and this event,” Victor responded, shaking his hand.

 

Yuuri smiled, his shyness stepping in, bowing respectfully and murmuring “Arigato, Morooka-san.”

 

Morooka cut the cameras and studied the shy Japanese skater.  It was always hard to get him to talk on camera.  He did better with print interviews.  Maybe next time he’d get more from the young man.

 

* * *

 

 

Yuuri spent half an hour before the show in the dressing room with a young novice freaking out while Victor sought his coach or parents.  By the time they showed up, Yuuri had the boy sitting cross-legged in front of him working through breathing exercises while Yuuri told him about how he gets anxious in competition but refused to let it hold him back.  The boy, Akio, surprised Yuuri, jumping into his arms before his parents took him with them.  As he left he talked excitedly about how nice Yuuri-san had treated him.

 

Victor leaned against the door facing watching his boyfriend and thinking to himself,  _ can I possibly love this man more? _

 

Yuuri shifted uncomfortably under his regard.  “He was…anxious.  I just helped to calm him down,” he stated shyly.

 

“You are not going to convince me that you are anything less than the kind-hearted, gentle, sweet, beautiful man that I see every day,” Victor pointed out.

 

Yuuri shrugged.  “I couldn’t let him be scared.  So I showed him how to work through his anxiety and ground himself.”

 

“You never fail to surprise me, my Yuuri,” Victor murmured as he dropped down in front of him.

 

“That’s my line,” Yuuri answered.  He looked up to meet Victor’s blue eyes.  Victor allowed his eyes to glance over the gold glittered powder from his makeup catching the light and making his face sparkle.  “I don’t do well with reporters even ones I’m familiar with.”

 

“I know.”

 

“You aren’t upset I let you do all of the talking?”

 

“Not at all.  You did announce to the world that we were dating.”

 

“Well…we have already publicly kissed.  I don’t think that is earth-shattering news.”

 

“No…I suppose not.  Yuuri, love, are you ready?”

 

He nodded.  “I can skate _ Lost Boy _ with my eyes closed and the adjustments aren’t hard.”

 

“Not about skating…are you ready…to live with me?”

 

Yuuri’s lips parted in surprise.  “We…lived together in Detroit.”

 

“We had Phichit and then Yura visited followed by Chris.  We’ve always been in a full house.”

 

Yuuri studied his hands.  “I guess…I’m a little nervous.  And, maybe afraid you’ll become bored with me.”

 

Victor laughed softly.  “I could never be bored with you, Yuuri.  You steal my breath everytime I turn around.  I worry you will become disgusted with me, I’m a bit…over-the-top.”

 

Yuuri chuckled in response.  “I knew that from the beginning.”

 

“I remember Chris telling me once to not be  _ too Victor _ .”

 

“I don’t mind it so much…even when I fuss about it, I really don’t mind.”

 

Yuuri joined the first five skaters as they warmed up.   The ice cleared with the young skaters moving to the various points where Yuuri would pick them up.   _ Lost Boy _ began its strains.  Yuuri embraced the persona of Pan rather than one of the lost boys and as he skated through the program, he gathered the boys until they were all in a line, holding one another’s hands.  As Yuuri released them in the closing, they skated out to encircle him as he spun to a stop, his closing position indicating flight.  Yuuri led them off the ice as the first novice, Shouta, prepared to skate to [ Brothers](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DsAa0KzaJSg) .  Akio followed with the playful [ He’s a Pirate](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZnJ7uOK4nYg) drawing a smile from Yuuri’s lips.  When he left the ice he ran to Yuuri and hugged him once more before joining his coach.

 

“I think you have a fan,” Yuri teased him.

 

“Perhaps one…nothing like your Angels,” Yuuri tossed back with a wink.

 

“Gah!  Don’t remind me!”  On that note, he walked off towards Victor as Yuuri’s laughter followed him.

 

The third novice, Jiro Fujiwara, younger brother of Hikaru, would test into the junior division soon.  He skated to [ I See Fire](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2fngvQS_PmQ) using the deep tones with an uncanny skill, dancing to represent a fire spreading across the rink, his black costume held deep toned red and orange flames of silk fluttering to catch the movement of his dance.  Yuuri could see that the younger brother played into his older brother’s experience.

 

The first junior, Haru Akamine, shifted the mood from cute to something more melancholy as he skated to [ Watashi No Uso](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iW_P2UPkpc4) , building emotion in his program in a manner that made Yuuri smile.  He felt Victor at his elbow.  “He makes me think of you.  The music enfolds him.”

 

“He’s got a ways to go with skills,” Yuuri murmured.  “But his artistry is amazing.”

 

“His coach only works with juniors.  He’ll be looking for a coach when he transitions into seniors.”

 

Yuuri looked up in surprise.  “Are you thinking about taking him on?”

 

“His coach asked me about my future plans.   Well, technically, about our future plans.  When I told her we were thinking to open a skate school once I retired, she asked that I keep Haru in mind.”

 

“I would…love to work with him,” Yuuri confessed leaning into his embrace.

 

Victor nodded.  “And what about that whimsical child you calmed down this morning?”

 

“Akio?  Yes, he is also a possibility.  Perhaps I can help him avoid the mistakes I made…or at least cope with them better,” Yuuri murmured.  Looking up at Victor, he asked, “So…are we really going to do this?”

 

Victor nodded, a smile touching his lips.  “I think so.  I’ve called and made an appointment to look at the inn on Tuesday.”

 

“How did you have time?” Yuuri stated with surprise.

 

Victor smiled wider as he watched the young skater finish his program.  “Phichit helped.  And Mari made the contact.  I asked your father to go with us when we looked at it.”

 

“That’s a good plan,” Yuuri agreed.  “Otousan would be thorough.”

 

The final skater of the first half moved into position for his program.  Ren Higashi skated to [ Orange](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XCxhewTxNOs) .  Yuuri leaned in.  “What is it with these kids skating to  _ Your Lie in April _ ?  Are they trying to make me cry?”

 

“I asked about that.  Their coach told me that they lost a rink mate last season to cancer.  This season was a tribute to her.”

 

The tear that Yuuri held back made its escape.  “Damn,” he murmured under his breath.  “I didn’t stand a chance.”

 

“It’s amazing how our rink mates become family for us.  If we lose one…” Victor’s voice faded quietly.

 

Yuuri glanced up with a sad smile.  “We’ll be back home soon and you can see them.”

 

“I know…but I’m planning to eventually move here permanently.”

 

Yuuri nodded.  “I can still picture Yura showing up demanding you to choreograph another program for him.”

 

Victor chuckled.  “Thanks for that,  _ lyubov moya. _  I can as well.  And who knows who else?  I suppose…we will always have a full house…and perhaps a connection to Russia.”

 

An intermission was called and while the ice was resurfaced for a second time, Yuuko finished up the triplets’ costumes, their bellies covered by a white oval fur and waves of felt to suggest the fur from the Totoro forest spirits. They met Victor in excitement and he laughed with delight at their costumes while Yuuri watched with tenderness.  “Make me proud, girls,” he encouraged.

 

They skated onto the ice and performed their dance to [ _Totoro_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5dv_iIuFJtA) , interweaving their step sequences as Victor taught them to take advantage of their triplet status.  Synchronizing a basic spin they skated outwards towards the audience before they skated into concentric circles, Lutz in the middle skating in the opposite direction.  They finished up with a spiral then took their hands and skated in a circle around the rink before exiting to the applause.

 

“Did we do it, Uncle Victor?  Were you proud of us?” they came at the silver haired man with questions.

 

He laughed delightedly.  “Of course.  I couldn’t be more proud.”

 

“When you come back to stay, will you be our coach, too?” Lutz asked.  “You and uncle Yuuri?”

 

Yuuri slipped a hand on her shoulder.  “I think it’s in the uncle contract,” he confirmed.  They converged on their mother excitedly telling her that Uncle Victor and Uncle Yuuri agreed to coach them when they retired.  Yuuko gave the older men a look that clearly said  _ you asked for it _ , before ushering off her happy excited girls.

 

“I think…you might have a full school when you retire.”

 

“You mean  _ we _ ,” Victor corrected with a grin.  “I can’t do this without you…even if you are still competing.”

 

“You’re just saying that so that I can deal with the Japanese politics and niceties,” he scoffed teasingly.

 

Victor grinned.  “Now get out there and warm up.  I want to see  _ Eros _ in full costume.”  Stepping forward, he added in a low murmur, “I love it when you push your hair back like that.  Absolutely beautiful.”  Yuuri blushed in response, biting his lip before joining the other skaters warming up for the second half of the show.

 

Yuri opened the second set with [ _Agape_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xt_VZ13voCQ) , moving into the ethereal movements of the music.  He knew he still needed to work on the attitude of the piece but his movements were sure and confident, and he danced beautifully, trying to focus on not losing the idea of selfless love.  Thoughts of Grandpa, of Yuuri, Victor, and several others floated across his mind as he remembered all of those who sacrificed for him.  He finished in supplication receiving rich applause.

 

Kenjirou Minami skated to [ _Minami’s Boogie_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N8q6kG07ILI) engaging the audience with the playful performance while he danced around the rink with laughing eyes and open movements that grabbed hold of the 1950s spirit of the song.  Yuuto Omiki followed with [ _Dragonborn_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hJc9Fko0mf4) , the intensity settling in but holding the attention of the crowd, his costume emulating the fantasy in blue with silver sparkling embroidery showing dragons over half of his chest and up his arm. Hikaru Fujiwara softened the mood with the haunting music [ _One Last Wish_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pPzISZKuguY) , waltzing in ghostly movements as the loose fabric of his white sheer top caught the movements, the black tuxedo cummerbund and skate pants lending to the formality of the costume and skate.

 

Yuuri took the final skate with [ _Eros_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cfv8qTZevrw) .  He met Victor at the boards, listening to Victor’s calming words before the older skater brushed a kiss against his forehead.  “I know you have eros within you.  Skate for my eyes alone, Yuuri.  The others may watch but they cannot have you,” he teased possessively, his fingers sliding down the side of his face, his thumb brushing over Yuuri’s lips with promise.

 

“Don’t take your eyes away from me,” Yuuri demanded.

 

“I never can,” Victor admitted in a whisper as Yuuri skated away from him to enter his opening position.

 

Yuuri opened his skate with a shimmy and a feminine flirtation before he offered Victor a smirk, inviting his gaze.  Victor let out a delighted whistle in response, his attention intent upon the man before him.  The heat of the music quickly enveloped Yuuri as he danced to the Spanish guitar and violin notes, feeling the flamenco influences on his steps, the salsa attitude in his hips, the tango in his arms as he danced with Victor’s thoughts.  The audience was mesmerized, becoming involved with the dance as Yuuri covered the rink with his skates.  Yet Yuuri was only aware of one man, his thoughts narrowed down and focused on Victor.  He came to his closing stance tilting his chin flirtatiously in Victor’s direction.

 

The audience roared with pleasure as Yuuri skated to Victor becoming enveloped in his embrace.  “So very beautiful, so very alluring, my sexy Yuuri,” he praised.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So many babies...and we will see them again. Some of them, anyway...they show back up in Part 4.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this happy bit. :D


	29. Chapter 29

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (Sunday) Yuuri and Phichit go on a friend date. Yuri has to put up with Victor’s shit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks, BluSkates, for the edits!

* * *

 

 

Victor rolls over and snuggles up to Yuuri with a pout, rolling his hips into the other man.  “Vitya, Phichit is on the other side of that door,” he warned under his breath.

 

“Maybe we should go to one of those…”

 

Yuuri starts shaking his head before he finishes.  “I am hanging out with Phichit today.  Yura leaves tomorrow as well.  The two of you should spend some time together.  I’m sure he could use some big brother time and I know I need some best friend time.”

 

Victor pouted once more.  “We could do something together,” he suggested.

 

Yuuri smoothed Victor’s hair and tucked the longer strands behind his ear.  “We could but I haven’t really had any alone time with Peach.  Let me have that.”

 

Victor huffed but nodded.  “Okay…I don’t know what I’ll do with the angry kitten, though.”

 

“What would you do in Russia?”

 

Victor frowned.  “Probably go shopping and try out different foods.  He liked to go with me because I paid for the eats…and sometimes his shopping.”

 

“He should be picking up more sponsors now.”

 

Victor crinkled his lips over his tightly contained grin.  “He had sponsors then, too.  He’s marketed well as the “Russian Fairy”…just as I was marketed at that age as the “Darling of Russia”.  He does fine, financially.  He just knows I don’t mind paying.”

 

“Well, you can take him down market street in Hasetsu,” Yuuri suggested.  “There are a number of vendor and food stalls.”

 

“I remember.  That’s not a bad idea.  And where are you and Phichit going?”

 

“Phichit planned it out during my practices.  So, it’s a surprise, I guess.”  He crinkled his nose uncertainly.

 

“A Phichit surprise…that could go very well…”

 

“…or very wrong.  We shall see,” Yuuri finished with a grin.

 

* * *

 

 

Yuuri found himself on a train headed into Fukuoka.  Thankfully, he had brought Cocoa along.  His friend tugged him out into the streets as they arrived to explore.  “Where do you want to go?” Yuuri finally asked.

 

“The [ Ohuri park](https://www.tripadvisor.com/Attraction_Review-g298207-d1423813-Reviews-Ohori_Park-Fukuoka_Fukuoka_Prefecture_Kyushu_Okinawa.html) , maybe the art museum,” Phichit suggested.  “I thought the park would give us some great photo opportunities.”

 

“Oh, it’s pretty and there are some historic parts to it.  Ummm…let’s take the subway.”  Yuuri guided his friend, navigating Fukuoka with ease.  “Have you thought about where we will have lunch?”

 

“I haven’t…I thought we’d wing it.”

 

Yuuri shrugged, scrolling through his phone.  “There are a few places near the entrance to the park.  And even two or three in the park.  I think there is even a Starbucks.”

 

“Sounds like lunch is covered.  Shall we go?”

 

Yuuri chuckled.  “Somehow I think this is going to be like those long walks we took exploring the trails near campus.”

 

“Cocoa will get plenty of exercise.”  Phichit, true to form, kept a constant stream of photos popping up on Instagram, journaling the entirety of their walk.

 

* * *

 

 

Victor looked at his notifications with a frown once more.  Yuri stopped and looked back, starting to feel grumpy.  “What’s the deal, geezer?”

 

“Yuuri and Phichit…well, it’s all right there.  I could find them in a moment’s notice.”  Victor turned the phone to show Yuri and the youth frowned.  “I mean, it’s not likely that  _ they’re _ here…but there is an area competition this coming weekend.  So it’s also not impossible.”

 

“And Phichit is broadcasting their location,” Yuri concluded. “You should say something.”

 

“No…I don’t want to stifle Yuuri.  Let’s go in this shop here, Yura.”  The shop in question had a number of animal print accessories and Yuri’s eyes widened in excitement.  Victor chuckled.

 

“Yuuri said you’d find something you’d like here.”

 

Yuri browsed through the racks.  Peeking over the top towards Victor, he spotted the worried expression.

 

**Yuri/ Hey!  Victor is freaking out here.  Can you cool it on the pics?**

 

**Peach/ What do you mean?**

 

**Yuri/ You’re giving away your location.  Victor keeps looking at his phone worriedly.**

 

**Peach/ Oh!  I didn’t think.  I’ll delay any further posts.**

 

**Yuri/ Are you leaving soon?**

 

**Peach/ We are looking at lunch options.**

 

**Peach/ I’ll make sure I don’t post anything else until we get home.**

 

**Peach/ How is hanging out with Victor?**

 

**Yuri/ The geezer took me shopping.**

 

**Yuri/ But he’s paying.**

 

**Yuri/ So I guess it’s okay.**

 

**Peach/ Thanks for telling me he’s upset.**

 

Victor’s expression tightened and he glanced towards Yuri.  “Did you say something?”

 

Yuri shrugged.  “Maybe?  Why?”

 

“Because Yuuri sent me a text saying that Phichit is reining in the posts until later.”

 

Yuri shrugged.  “Maybe you’ll stop moping.  We are supposed to be hanging out.”

 

Victor came up next to him and ruffled his hair.  “Thanks, Yura,” he murmured appreciatively.

 

* * *

 

 

That evening they converged at the inn where Hiroko served katsudon once more.  Victor clung to Yuuri, but seemed at peace, although clearly tired.  Phichit told the Russians about the places he and Yuuri had visited, including the swan paddle boats, the restaurant, and the underground shopping mall they ended up meandering through.  Victor leaned forward and murmured, “That would have been a great date.”

 

Yuuri turned teasing eyes his direction.  “I’ll remember that should you ever grow tired of me.  I mean, Chris would share.”

 

Victor’s mouth fell open before he turned away, a small amount of color tinting his cheeks.  Hugging Yuuri close, he pouted, “I’d never grow tired of you but you might tire of me.”

 

Yuuri leaned into him nuzzling against his neck.  “Highly doubtful, Vitya.”

 

Yuri made gagging motions.  “Could you tow not be gross for once?”  The other three men laughed as the blond Yuri huffed.

 

“One day, Yura, you will fall ridiculously in love,” Phichit teased.

 

Yuri wrinkled his nose.  “Like you?”

 

Phichit shrugged.  “One never knows,” he murmured.  “Even I might find someone worth settling down.”

 

“Oh, god!   Please tell me it’s not Chris!” Yuri exclaimed, his eyes wide.

 

Phichit shrugged, taking a long drink of the wine placed before him.  Yuuri raised his eyebrow looking at his friend even as Victor’s face opened into a wide grin.

  

* * *

 

 

 

Victor sat in his room while the other three enjoyed the onsen, staring at the text message from Sasha.  He knew Yuuri wasn’t happy about Sasha taking up residence in their apartment when they were about to strike it out on their own.  Victor pursed his lips thoughtfully.

 

**Victor/ I’m sorry to hear about the breakup, Sasha.  Yuuri and I won’t be there for another couple of weeks.  Hopefully that will give you time to figure something out.**

 

Victor studied the phone for a few minutes before laying it down to look at the social media reports from his PR team.  The phone buzzed and he pulled it back up.

 

**Sasha/ I’ll try to be out of your hair by then.  So many students returning to school is making it hard to find something.**

 

Victor forced air out of his lungs in frustration.

 

**Victor/ You might try east of the river.**

 

It wasn’t an ideal neighborhood but the leases were short.

 

**Sasha/ :( I’d rather not but I’ll keep that in mind.**

 

**Victor/ Keep me updated.**

 

Victor scrolled back to when Sasha told him he was staying at the apartment and about the breakup.  He screenshot the conversations and forwarded them to Chris

 

**Victor/ Chris, what do I do?**

 

**Chris/ I told you a long time ago to cut Sasha off.**

 

**Victor/ Yuuri’s not happy.**

 

**Chris/ I don’t blame him.  Are you sure Sasha won’t make trouble?  He’s on the rebound.**

 

**Victor/ There’s no attraction between us.**

 

**Chris/ If you say so…I’d be pissed if I were in Yuuri’s shoes.  Just sayin’.**

 

**Victor/ So you think I’m being unreasonable.**

 

**Chris/ I think you are being too nice.  You get taken advantage of because of your soft heart.  I suspect that’s what has Yuuri annoyed.**

 

**Victor/ We’ve fought off and on all week.  He says I volunteer too much of my time.  Perhaps…he’s right.**

 

**Victor/ And maybe you’re right.**

 

**Chris/ Of course I’m right.  I’m a helluva friend.**

 

**Victor/ Yuuri’s not jealous of you…why Sasha?**

 

**Chris/ I’m dating his best friend.  I’m not living with you both.  And I’m lovable.**

 

Victor smiled at that.  Chris flirted but no one took it seriously.  When Chris was serious with someone, the flirting went to another level, had a sense of pursuit.  Like with Phichit.

 

**Victor/ Well, I’m trying to get him to leave.**

 

**Chris/ I suggest you do more than try.  I suggest you tell him he has to be out by a certain date.**

 

Victor frowned.  He hated to put the man on the streets.   Still, Yuuri was not pleased.  That was clear.  He reread the messages from Sasha.  He said he’s trying.  Surely he’ll find something.

 

* * *

 

 

Sasaki-sensei’s receptionist contacted Yuuri and Victor to tell them their appointments were cancelled Monday morning due to a family emergency.  Sasaki-sensei would see them on Thursday at their regularly scheduled time.  This allowed the couple to see their friends off at the airport.

 

Yuri caught his plane first.  He seemed to pout before his gruff face kicked in.  “Don’t make me kick your ass, geezer,” he stated.  “First of August.”

 

Victor laughed.  “We’ve already booked our flights.”

 

Turning to Yuuri, his expression softened.  “Katsudon, I plan to hang out at your place so you can cook for me.”

 

Yuuri laughed warmly.  “You’re always welcome but I’m afraid you’ll be disappointed now that you’ve tasted my mother’s cooking.”

 

He shrugged.  “It’s alright.  Better than throwing something in the microwave.”

 

He gave quick side hugs before shoving away from their embrace.  “Don’t be late.”  They watched him disappear down the concourse before a sniff caused them to turn and look at Phichit.

 

“Oh, Peach,” Yuuri cried out pulling the Thai man in his arms.

 

“I hate that we are always leaving each other.  Why can’t you be closer?”

 

Yuuri sighed.  “You are going to be fine, Phichit.  You are so very strong.”  He held Phichit in a tight hug as Victor watched on.

 

Finally, Phichit pulled back shoving tears back and biting his pout.  “I don’t know what’s going on with me.  Usually I’m the together one.”

 

Yuuri chuckled.  “And I’m the one falling apart.”  Yuuri smoothed Phichit’s hair.  “It’s okay…we’re all allowed an off day.”

 

They watched feeling sad as Phichit slowly walked away.  Victor slipped an arm around Yuuri and felt his lover’s ragged breath.  “Let’s go home,” he whispered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know some of you have some ideas turning in your heads...


	30. Chapter 30

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Real Estate

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, BluSkates, for your marathon editing session. I greatly appreciate your hard work.

* * *

 

 

“Good morning, Kaba-san.  Thank you for meeting with us,” Toshiya greeted.

 

The old man surveyed the three men shrewdly before answering.  “Katsuki-san.  I understand your son is interested in buying.”

 

“Yes, this is my son, Yuuri, and his friend, Victor,” Toshiya introduced.  “They are both figure skaters.”

 

“Good morning, Kaba-san,” they each greeted.

 

“Are you planning to compete with your parents?” Kaba asked narrowly.

 

Yuuri laughed and said, “No.  My cooking will never match my mother’s.  We have something entirely different in mind but will still maintain the integrity of the inn.”

 

The old man watched in interest.  “Go on,” he invited.

 

“We plan to retire to Hasetsu and open a skating school,” Victor supplied.  “It was suggested that your inn would give us the facilities we desire in order to do this.”

 

“Are you planning to tear it down or sell it to developers?” Kaba asked suspiciously.

 

“No, sir,” Victor stated sincerely.

 

Yuuri continued, “We plan to refurbish it and use to house our students.  Victor lived in a similar situation in Russia.”

 

He studied the two of them before stating, “I’ve seen you skate, Yuuri-san.  I may have seen you skate, Victor-san.  I’m not sure.  I’ll unlock the building and let you explore the layout.  I don’t know if it will meet your needs or not.  Do you plan to live here?”

 

“Yes,” they both answered.

 

“The family wing has three rooms, the master and two smaller rooms.  You might want to tear down a wall between the smaller rooms so that you each have a similar space,” he suggested.

 

Yuuri smiled indulgently.  “We will take that into consideration.”  His father had pointed out before they arrived that Kaba was a bit traditional and that they might want to keep their relationship lowkey.

 

They broke away from the older man and followed Toshiya into the facility.  They could already tell that it was smaller than Yuuri’s parents’ place.  “What do you think, Papa?” Victor asked.

 

“It will take some work but it’s likely in better shape than the others in the area,” he answered as he removed a panel to study the pump for the hot springs.  “This looks in order.  We may have to play with it to get it to work.”  They wandered back through the living space and towards the kitchen.  “You will need new equipment before the school opens but you could make due with a hot plate temporarily.  I’d talk with your mother before purchasing, though.  She will make sure your kitchen has all that it needs.”

 

“Thank you, Otousan,” Yuuri murmured.  They went from there to the wing for the inn finding ten rooms in fair state.  Yuuri frowned and turned to Victor.  “We’ll need to get beds, desks, and some sort of wardrobes for their clothes.”

 

“I figured we’d furnish it as we gained students,” Victor suggested.  “It should do for temporary guests, though, don’t you think?”

 

Yuuri nodded.

 

Continuing on to the family wing, Toshiya opened the master bedroom door and wrinkled his forehead.  “I strongly suggest you invest in soundproofing here.  Your mother and I did and it was the best investment we made in my opinion.”

 

“Wait, your room is soundproofed?” Yuuri asked in surprise.

 

Toshiya chuckled.  “Of course.  With the two of you upstairs and the way Mari’s complained about how noisy the two of you are, I think it’s a good thing,” he teased with a wink.

 

Yuuri’s face went red as he turned to hide into Victor’s shoulder.  His partner laughed softly and answered, “I think that is a very wise plan, Papa.”

 

After rejoining Kaba in the front entrance, the older man presented them with a figure.  “I believe we’d like to discuss this with our attorney,” Toshiya stated.

 

“It’s twice as much for the developers,” he stated.  “I’m willing to take less, though, if it stays as an inn.”

 

“I’ll have my attorney contact you when we are ready to make an offer,” Toshiya stated.

 

They left the building and climbed into Toshiya’s car.  “What do you think, boys?”

 

“I think…it would definitely work,” Victor stated.

 

“What about the price he is asking, Otousan?” Yuuri asked worriedly.

 

Toshiya frowned.  “It’s a fair price.  I’d want to do a thorough inspection so that we’d know what other expenses will be involved but we can work that in as contingency on the offer.”

 

The two men looked at one another thoughtfully.  “I think we need to talk to the Nishigori’s first.  This plan does depend on their facility.”

 

“I can drop you off on the way home,” Toshiya suggested.

 

* * *

 

 

Takeshi listened intently to Yuuri and Victor as they laid out their plan for retirement.  “So you want to open a skate club here,” he summarized.  He looked at his wife questioningly.  “Do you think we could support it?”

 

She thinned her lips.  “How many students were you planning to take on?”

 

“The inn will allow for ten, more if they are willing to share a room,” Yuuri stated.  “However, we would not take on that many…at least not at first.”

 

“There could be some local interest as well,” Yuuko pointed out.  “And you wouldn’t be housing them.”

 

“We’d have to work out how to share the ice, a practice schedule so that they wouldn’t be running into one another,” Victor stated.  “It’s a smaller rink than the one in Russia.”

 

“Well, we managed it for the ice show,” Yuuri pointed out.

 

Victor met Takeshi’s eyes and they both nodded at the same time.  “I think we could make it work,” Takeshi stated.  “And it could be just the infusion we need to maintain this rink.  I know…my parents have talked about shutting it down.  Yuuko and I hate the idea of it.  So if this is truly your intent, I can talk with them and it will give them a reason to keep it open.”

 

“So it’s a win-win situation,” Victor surmised.

 

Yuuko grinned and added, “Of course, that means we need a cut on coaching fees for our girls.”

 

Yuuri chuckled and nodded in agreement.  “With rink fees alone, I think we can work something out.”

 

* * *

 

 

Returning home, the two skaters reviewed their financials once more before they talked with Toshiya about contacting his attorney about making an offer. He made the call and had an appointment arranged the following week.

 

“It’s going to draw close to the time you leave,” Toshiya pointed out.

 

Yuuri nodded and stated, “We are going to arrange for you to work as our proxy in this if you don’t mind, Otousan.”

 

The old man smiled warmly.  “No, I don’t mind at all.  Your mother and I are excited that the two of you wish to settle here.  We thought surely you’d stay in Russia.”

 

Yuuri shrugged.  “I don’t mind the city but I think I prefer a smaller town in the end.”

 

“And I prefer to be where Yuuri’s happiest,” Victor added.

 

* * *

 

 

 

That evening, Minako found Yuuri at the inn.  “Rumor has it you are thinking to open a skate school.”

 

“That is the plan if we can get everything lined up,” Yuuri confirmed.

 

“So you will be needing a dance studio,” she pointed out.  As Yuuri nodded, she continued, 

“Business has dropped out since you moved away.  I have renewed interest at the moment.  I know you will be helping Victor with the coaching but part of that happens on the studio floor.  Would you be interested in partnering with me as an instructor at the studio?”

 

“I…I would,” Yuuri stated with wide eyes.  “It is something I considered when I majored in dance.  I never really wanted to perform with a ballet company.  I just love to dance.”

 

“Exactly.  So if you get this school off the ground, can we consider it a partnership?”

 

Yuuri nodded with a warm smile.  “It’s a deal.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We are in the home stretch. This part wraps up with Ch. 35. So if you aren't subscribed to the series or to my ID, you may want so you don't miss the transition. 
> 
> Are we excited about the future skate school? Have you thought about who their future students might be? I already have things in the works for part 4 of Lifeline. Of course, part 3 comes first and it will have angst because we really need to deal with these bastards! All of them.


	31. Chapter 31

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> News forces Yuuri to consider his options.
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING: Mentions of possible suicide.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, BluSkates, for the TLC you gave this piece.

* * *

 

 

Yuuri heard the vibrations from his phone before his still sleeping mind acknowledged them.  Victor’s phone also broke through the silence.  Both of their phones announcing calls at this hour was not a coincidence, that thought pulled him the rest of the way out of his sleep.  Picking up his phone, his eyes widened.  Seung-gil Lee.  Yuuri wrinkled his nose and frowned, sitting up while crossing his legs.  His movements disturbed Victor and the blue eyes met brown.  A shiver went down Yuuri’s spine as he sent the return call through.

 

Sueng-gil was not an emotional man.  He kept his feelings tamped down and organized, taking out what he needed for a program then carefully putting it away.  So unpracticed was he at expressing those emotions, they often went unnoticed and his PCS scores suffered.  Therefore, the Korean, sobbing on the other end of the call, brought wide eyes from the other two men.

 

“Sueng-gil…slow down.  What happened?” Yuuri stated firmly but gently.  He felt Victor’s arms wrap around him, preparing to ground him. 

 

“Yuuri…I couldn’t let you hear about it from the news.  Are you alone?”

 

“No.  Victor is with me.  What’s wrong?”

 

“Hyeon-Ju…h-he was found dead this morning.  They are still investigating.  It…looks like a suicide…but…he was fine…moving forward.  I can’t believe it!”

 

Yuuri looked up at Victor, his eyes wide as Victor tightened his arms around him.

 

“Oh, Sueng-gil…I-I don’t know what to say.”

 

“I know…I just wanted to let you know.  I heard how the French skater’s death upset you.”

 

Yuuri nodded before saying, “Y-yes.  It was so…unexpected.  Like this.”

 

“Exactly.  Yuuri?”

 

“Yes, Sueng-gil.”

 

“Please be careful.  Hyeon-Ju’s death...looks suspicious.  The police are doing a full investigation.”

 

“I-I will.”

 

“I’ve got to go.  We are still dealing with it here.  I’ll be in touch.”

 

Yuuri disconnected the call, numb.  Then it all hit at once and he turned to bury himself into Victor’s chest.  Lifting his eyes finally, Yuuri whispered, “Sueng-gil doesn’t think it was suicide.”

 

“I heard.”

 

“What if…the other skater wasn’t a suicide?”

 

Victor took a deep breath, uncertain what to say.  Finally, he took a safe course.  “I’ll send a message to Nikolai with Interpol.  Then all we can do is wait.”

 

Yuuri crawled into Victor’s arms shaking.  “I’m afraid.”

 

“I know,  _ lyubov moya _ .  I know.”  Victor ran his hands up and down Yuuri’s back in large circles trying to ground him.  He was thankful that they would see Sasaki-sensei that day.

 

* * *

 

 

 

Victor sat in a protective stance next to Yuuri on the train.  Cocoa was at Yuuri’s feet and Victor had brought Makka for extra measure.  He’d messaged Nikolai about their concerns, and then messaged Sasaki-sensei.  Victor informed the therapist about the recent, tragic  event and his concern about leaving Yuuri alone while he had a therapy session.  Sasaki messaged back that they would do a joint session and deal with the repercussions of the news.

 

Now he sat with an arm around Yuuri, Makka was situated to discourage people from drawing close.  Cocoa was in guard stance.  The older dog picked up on the change of atmosphere and mimicked Cocoa’s stance although he would turn to glance at his humans with worried eyes from time to time.

 

By the time they reached Sasaki-sensei’s office, Yuuri’s tension had him wound up like a stringed instrument about to break.  Victor guided him in as Sasaki brought him a cup of tea.  The dogs settled next to the owners as she handed another cup to Victor before picking up her own.

 

They sat in silence for a moment sipping at the tea.  Finally Yuuri murmured, “I don’t think they were suicides.  I have to wonder if they were threatened as well.  I’m worried more than ever about Victor and Phichit…and myself.”

 

“Okay.  Let’s consider our options.  That way we can be proactive rather than reactive,” Sasaki suggested.

 

Yuuri stared at the cup watching the steam waft upward before slowly shaking his head no.  “Both skaters were keeping a low profile when it happened.  I think…hiding is the worst thing to do.  I need…to raise awareness of the events.”

 

Victor’s mouth opened in surprise.  “You’re going to speak out,” he concluded.

 

Yuuri nodded.  “While in Japan…before we return to Russia.  Would you inform Nikolai?”  Victor studied Yuuri before nodding slowly.  

 

The therapist watched Yuuri as he unconsciously rocked, his nerves bundled up taught.  “We need to get you to relax.  Would you consider a spa day?”

 

Yuuri’s features startled at the suggestion.  “A spa day?”

 

“Yes…with full treatment.  I know your parents own an onsen but this goes beyond this.  The facility is managed by my brother and he can get you both in if I make a call.  It’s exclusive and they will keep your stay private.”

 

“We didn’t…bring anything.”

 

“They will have everything you need.  Shall I make that call?”

 

Yuuri looked up at Victor uncertainly.

 

“What about the dogs?” Victor asked.

 

She smiled.  “It won’t be a problem.  They have a groomer on staff who does pet massages.  They are rather high end but…I can get them to cut a deal since you are both my clients.”

 

Victor nodded.  “Make the call.   But we need to stay together.  I don’t think…”

 

“I can’t be separate from Victor.  Not today,” Yuuri stated firmly as he tightened the hand holding Victor’s.

 

Sasaki put the call through and conversed with the someone on the other side.  Finally, she disconnected and smiled.  “They have you down for one this afternoon.  There’s a nice restaurant across the street and caters to spa customers.  Now, until then, let’s see if we can talk through this turn of events. Have you received any more threats?”

 

Yuuri glanced up questioningly towards Victor.  “My social media is filtered.”

 

“Nothing else has been brought to our attention and the PR firm handling our accounts are alerted to watch for similar threats,” Victor explained.

 

Sasaki thinned her lips.  “Let’s go with that theory.  You’ve proposed that there may have been threats sent to the other two skaters.  You’ve received no further threats, possibly due to your high profile.”

 

“I’m not…” Yuuri protested.

 

“Yuuri, you are,” Victor argued, squeezing his hand.  “You medaled at World’s and 4C’s.  Trust me, you are high profile.”

 

“Although precautions would not be unreasonable,” Sasaki continued, “it should not keep you from doing what you have planned.  I’d keep Cocoa with you and is this other dog also a therapy dog?”

 

Victor smiled indulgently towards Makka as he brushed his fingers through her curls.  “Not officially.  But she also helps to calm Yuuri.”

 

“Do you have anything planned?  Events?”

 

“We promised to attend an area ice competition to watch the skaters who participated in our ice show,” Victor stated.

 

“Okay, then delay any press talks until after that competition.  You might coordinate something with the release of the Korean figure skater’s news information.  Is there a reporter you trust?”

 

“Hisashi Morooka,” Yuuri stated.  “He has always been supportive and never reported anything I did not feel comfortable with.”

 

“Then, I’d do a private interview…possibly some place that makes you feel comfortable.  You are leaving at the end of next week for Russia.  I wouldn’t put that out there.”

 

“I don’t want to draw attention to Hasetsu, either,” Yuuri stated.  “We plan to move back for the off season.”  He considered his options before he looked up at Victor thoughtfully.  “The bookstore we frequent.  Do you think they’d let us?”

 

“It’s publicity for them.  They close at seven.  Perhaps after hours?” Victor suggested.

 

Yuuri chewed on his lip before nodding.  “I guess we can ask…or let Morooka arrange it.”

 

“Let the reporter do his job.  We’ll show up for the interview,” Victor stated.

 

“Now about the competition,” Sasaki redirected.  “Is it just the two of you attending?”

 

Yuuri shook his head.  “No, I have several friends.”

 

“Then urge that they all stay close,” she suggested.  “It’s always good to operate in small groups at these events anyway.”

 

“There will be a lot of parents attending.  You don’t think they’d show up and hurt one of those babies?” Yuuri asked, alarm threading his voice.

 

Victor frowned even as he moved an arm around Yuuri.  “Their mamas will keep close watch on them.  We’ll give security a heads up about the possibility, though.  We can have Nikolai send the pictures of the two men.”

 

Yuuri snuggled into Victor’s embrace.  “Thank you,” he murmured.

 

“Now that we have your strategies worked out you will be less likely to panic.  However, I think we should work through your grounding strategies just in case.  Talk your way through it,” Sasaki directed.

 

Yuuri nodded, sitting upright and drawing his legs up into a pretzel.  “Five things I see.  Tea cups, leather chairs, books lining the shelves, your desk, and your red glasses.”  She smiled, amused at his focus on her glasses before nodding for him to continue.  “Four things I hear.”  Closing his eyes, he focused on sound.  “Victor’s breathing, Makka sniffing something, a clock ticking, and…water dripping?”

 

“Good,” she encouraged auditorily.  “Now continue.”

 

“Three things I smell.  Victor’s cologne, cardamom and cedar.  The dogs,” he wrinkled his nose.  “It’s probably good that the spa has a groomer on hand.  Ummm, the jasmine from the tea.”

 

“Excellent,” she murmured.

 

“Two things I feel.  The cotton of Victor’s shirt I borrowed today because it is soft.  And…Victor’s hands…soft but cool to the touch.”

 

“One last thing,” she encouraged.

 

“Something positive,” he took a deep breath, lifting his face and opening his eyes.  “I’m stronger than people realize.”  He felt Victor’s arms tighten around him.  “I think…they have underestimated me.  I will fight them.”

 

“You might…but I implore you not to openly challenge them,” Sasaki stated.

 

Victor nodded vehemently.  “Definitely.  What she said.”

 

Yuuri chuckled.  “I’m not an idiot, Victor.  I just…won’t go easy should they try again.  I want to continue with self-defense classes when we go to Russia, Vitya.”

 

Victor smiled and nodded.  “We can arrange that.  I know a certain angry kitten that wouldn’t mind joining us for that and it might help him release some of his aggression.”

 

Yuuri laughed.  “Yes!  Yura should join us.”

 

Sasaki watched the two already feeling Yuuri’s tension start to dissipate.  A day at the spa, though, will dispel the rest.  “You should go now,” she urged.  “Here are the directions.  I’ve already sent through a reservation at the restaurant.”

 

“Thank you, Sasaki-sensei,” Yuuri responded, his eyes wide.

 

Victor nodded.  “This…is very considerate,” he stated appreciatively.

 

Sasaki shrugged.  “It’s just another therapy.  Now, go.  Enjoy your afternoon.”

 

* * *

  

 

The restaurant and spa lived up to their names.  Yuuri looked around and was glad Victor had chosen his clothes that morning as the restaurant did not hesitate to seat them even with their casual dress.  Labels.  They spoke volumes.  Of course, Victor’s reasoning went beyond the labels.  He was looking for something soft to reduce friction against Yuuri’s skin.

 

They enjoyed sushi paired with gyokuro green tea and Victor could already see some of Yuuri’s features relax with the high grade tea, it’s rich aroma wafting upwards as Yuuri breathed it in before he sipped the mellow sweet flavor.  “I could get spoiled by this tea,” he murmured.

  
Victor chuckled warmly.  “You know your mother has already started packing up a box of food for us to take with us.  I do believe tea is at least half of it.”

 

Yuuri smiled contentedly.  “We should order some of this when we run low.”

 

“Of course, dear,” Victor agreed indulgently.

 

At the spa resort, the couple was led into a room with two massage tables, low light, and soft music.  As they stretched out along the tables, Victor commented, “I haven’t indulged in a massage since Russia.”

 

Yuuri smiled in his direction.  “I should have known as responsive you are to touch that you would like massage.”

 

“Sometimes I would go far too long without someone touching me,” Victor explained as the herbal massage oils were spread onto their bodies.  “It would throw me into a depression.  A regular massage helped me to stay up.”

 

“I’ll keep that in mind, though hopefully we won’t have long periods apart,” he murmured, reaching across the space to tangle their fingers for a moment.  

 

The masseuse team used soothing voices as they worked with their clients.  Yuuri helped translate when sometimes the words didn’t quite line up between Japanese and English.  They started with their feet and paid particular attention to the knots forming in them before working up their legs.  One suggested a pedicure but both Yuuri and Victor protested stating that those callouses were necessary as they skated.  As they finished one leg, hot stones were laid upon them before they moved to the next, sweeping another stone along the surface.  

 

“Victor?  I think...we need to do this more often,” Yuuri murmured as the masseuse worked a particularly difficult knot out of his thigh.  

 

Victor grinned.  “I’m not opposed to this plan.”  More stones were laid onto their other legs as they moved up to their backs, smoothing a hot stone along the surface before continuing the massage.  They finished their backs by laying stones from their necks down their spines.  With an additional stone, Victor and Yuuri had their necks and shoulders rubbed.  Yuuri released a groan as he felt his body relax and sink into the table.

 

When the stones were removed, they were directed to turn over.  Victor turned to look at his partner with a relaxed smile.  “Remind me to tell sensei she’s a genius for thinking of this.”

 

“After the last few months, I think this is a necessity for our well being,” Yuuri concurred.

 

The masseuse team began loosening their feet and placed small stones between their toes to release the pressure.  They then placed stones on their thighs before slowly worked up their calves placing another stone but avoiding their shins.  Placing a stone in their palms, they began to work the massage up their arms.  

 

They then removed the stones from their thighs, placing the cooler stones on their chests, the brunt of the heat having been absorbed by the thigh muscles and now more temperate, not too hot for the sensitive skin.  They gently massaged their thighs releasing the tension before removing the stones from their chest.  Using sweeping motions, they massaged the chest before removing the rest of the stones and concluding the massage. 

 

“Yes, we are definitely doing this again,” Yuuri concluded, his muscles a little too relaxed to move for a bit.  Their masseuses bowed before leaving them to their privacy.  Finally, they were able to move and get dressed.  

 

When they picked up their dogs, they found them happy and pampered, fur trimmed, claws clipped.  They took a card as they paid promising to return again.  Victor guided his lover to the car he ordered.  “I thought we’d drive back and avoid the chaos of public transportation.”

 

“It’s so expensive,” Yuuri protested.

 

Victor smiled tenderly.  “Indulge me this once,” he murmured.   Yuuri agreed and as the driver opened the door for the four of them, Yuuri found himself relaxing into Victor’s side, his eyes drifting closed as his hand moved into Cocoa's curls.  Victor gave the driver the directions to the inn before he, too, relaxed avoiding thoughts about the earlier events.

 

* * *

 

 

By the end of the day, Nikolai confirmed that the circumstances were questionable around the Korean skater’s death and, as a result, they reopened the investigation into the French skater’s suicide.  Yuuri explained the press plan to the investigator who agreed that this could prevent further injuries but asked that he not say anything about the possible suicides or subsequent investigations.

 

Victor and Yuuri fell asleep wrapped up in one another protectively.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hmmm...that certainly was unexpected. I wonder if Sueng-gil is going to reach out to Phichit and what that would mean about Chrichit...
> 
> Now, look at me stirring up more trouble...well, it is Tuesday and Tuesdays were made for trouble.
> 
> Love to hear from you. ;)


	32. Chapter 32

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Victor and Yuuri attend a local figure skating competition.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So much discussion took place before and through this chapter. Thanks, BluSkates. Once again, your words inspired events in this chapter.

* * *

 

Takeshi was driving them to Fukuoka that day, his minivan easily carrying him, his wife, his girls, Minako, Yuuri, and Victor.  Cocoa curled up next to her partner.  Yuuri and Victor had spoken to the adults the previous day about their concerns and it was agreed that they would hang in groups of three or more when possible with at least two adults with the girls.  When they arrived, the girls were talking about how they couldn’t wait until they were in competitions,  asking “Uncle” Victor when he was going to begin coaching them.

 

Victor laughed indulgently.  “I need to retire first before I can officially coach you.  Pay attention to your lessons and when we return in the spring, I’ll see where you are at and give you some direction.  Okay?”

 

They giggled and accepted his offer with ease, chatting with their mother in Japanese.  Yuuri leaned over and whispered, “They are planning their entire figure skating career right now complete with costumes.”

 

Victor grinned.  “Have I told you how much I love being a part of your world?”

 

Yuuri tightened his arm around Victor’s waist.  “You  _ are _ my world.”

 

They moved to their seats and the girls pointed out Akio warming up on the ice.  He spotted them and Yuuri could see his face light up.  Soon the other two novices from their show skated by and waved.  Victor laughed delightedly while Yuuri waved back encouragingly. 

 

As the younger skaters focused on their warm up, Yuuri scanned the crowed.  He spotted a few of the parents and coaches he had spoken to over the summer, many of which were involved in the show.  Victor had networked them together quite well and was able to do much of the coordination using social media and group apps that facilitated communication.  Yuuri had met with the younger students twice before they converged for the show to go through the  _ Lost Boy _ routine with the changes in choreography.   As he watched them skate, he realized that this was a life he wanted, to continue sharing his love of skating.

 

Edging his thoughts, however, was the ever present idea of danger.  Sliding his fingers through Cocoa’s fur for grounding, he considered their location.  He was already attached to these kids but even if he wasn’t, he would never want anyone to hurt them…especially in the manner in which he had been hurt.  He glanced up as Minako and Yuuko stood to take the girls to the ladies room promising to return shortly. 

 

Takeshi leaned forward after they left, and asked quietly, “Is everything okay?”

 

Victor turned to study his partner and waited for a response.  He, too, had been scanning the crowd.  It was second nature to him at this point.

 

Yuuri shifted and half shrugged.  “It’s just a feeling, really.  Something not quite right, like someone is watching me.  I thought I was hiding it.”

 

Takeshi tilted his head.  “I grew up with you and Victor here sleeps with you.  So we can recognize your ticks when others wouldn’t.”

 

Victor nodded, taking his hand and squeezing it.  “I’ve been looking around, too.  If it would make you feel better, though, after the ladies return, we can take a walk.  Takeshi? Do you want to join us or should we drag Minako?”

 

“Hmmm, let me talk with Yuuko.  I want her to be comfortable.  Of course, with Minako, I’m not too worried.  I mean, she keeps her bar free of drama.”

 

“Good point.  And she’s as protective of the girls as the rest of us,” Yuuri conceded.  They turned their attention back to the floor as the young skaters started to leave the ice.  A smile tugged at Yuuri’s lips as the three boys waved at them once more before joining their parents.  A rustle behind him caught his attention and he realized the girls had returned with Minako and Yuuko. 

 

Minako leaned forward.  “I remember attending these events with the three of you.  God, this makes me feel old.”

 

Victor turned and stated warmly, “If I look as good as you at your age I will be a happy man.  Honestly, I just hope I still have my hair.”  They all chuckled in response before Victor continued.  “Yuuri and I want to walk around the arena.”

 

Yuuko looked up hopefully.  “If Takeshi doesn’t mind staying with the girls, I’d love to join you.”

 

The men turned to Takeshi who shrugged.  “I’ve got this.  Keep them out of trouble.”

 

As they walked away, Yuuko leaned in to murmur, “There are some men that don’t look like they belong here.  Do you care to walk with me back towards the bathrooms and see if they are still here?”

 

Yuuri paled and nodded as he tightened his hand on Cocoa’s lead.  Victor wrapped a protective arm around him.  “We alerted security and the attackers’ faces were sent by the Interpol agent working the case,” Victor stated quietly.

 

Yuuko nodded, her face serious.  “I know…maybe I’m just being a mom.  I just got…an off feeling about them.”

 

They rounded the corner and she frowned.  “They’re gone.”

 

“We’ll keep looking.  Let’s walk like we are studying the skaters.  If they are figure skating parents, they will at least recognize Yuuri,” Victor stated.  “We shouldn’t garner too many side glances from rink parents.”

 

Yuuri laughed softly.  “They will likely recognize you first.  I’m not that important.”

 

Both Victor and Yuuko rolled their eyes.  “Sometimes, Yuuri, you are so clueless about your worth,” Yuuko stated.

 

“I’ve said the same thing more than once,” Victor murmured, smiling indulgently towards his partner.

 

They walked the perimeter, their eyes flitting from face to face, scanning for someone out of place when a commotion caught their attention.  They watched in fascinated horror as security rushed to the end of the rink.  “That’s why it wouldn’t be wise for them to attend a small event such as this,” Yuuko pointed out.  “Rink dads would spot them in an instant.”

 

“Do you think those are your suspicious men?” Yuuri asked.

 

She pursed her lips thoughtfully.  “Possibly.  Are you comfortable with trying to get closer?”

 

They both agreed and walked with her towards the other end.  Three men were being escorted out.  Their appearance was off but Yuuri could say for a fact they weren’t the men who attacked him.  However, Yuuko nodded in confirmation.  “That was them.  Apparently I’m not the only one suspicious of them.  They were just eying some of the younger skaters in a way that made my skin crawl.”

 

“There are far too many creepers in this world,” Victor stated.  “It’s not them, though.  Not the ones that hurt Yuuri.”

 

Yuuri sighed thoughtfully, his thoughts heavily.  “I never thought about anyone being a danger when we were skating as kids.”

 

“We had my parents, Takeshi’s parents, our coach, Mari, and Minako all looking out for us,” Yuuko pointed out.  “We were well protected.”

 

“Should we return to our seats?” Victor invited.  The other two nodded and followed Victor back. 

 

Takeshi offered a look of relief as they returned, standing as Yuuko settled in beside him.  “The girls were starting to wonder about you.  They were convinced you were on an adventure without them.”

 

“They weren’t wrong,” Yuuko stated.  “We were drawn to the commotion at the other end.  Some creepers were dragged out.  I saw them earlier ogling some of the skaters.”

 

“Stupid.  You can’t get close to a skater in a local event like this.  Too many parents,” Minako observed.

 

Yuuri nodded.  “That’s what we observed.  It’s odd to attend one of these now that I’m older.”

 

“We need to get comfortable in this environment if we are going to be coaching,” Victor pointed out.

 

The rest of the event went without incident.  As they closed, Victor and Yuuri made a point to go down and praise the young skaters and found themselves surrounded with autograph requests.  Yuuri followed Victor’s example and spent the next half hour graciously signing autographs and taking pictures, many of which included Cocoa who stood patiently by her partner. 

 

As they rode home with the Nishigoris, their phones kept buzzing with notifications from the young fans.  “I wouldn’t have gone down there before you showed up in my life.  The fans always intimidate me.”

 

“In this case, it’s one of the best ways to maintain interest in the sport.  It makes you attainable and gives them something to strive for.  Fans who figure skate are always my favorite,” he concluded, giving Yuuri a squeeze that caused the blush go up his cheeks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So much stuff going on in the world of figure skating! My favorite? Rink dads.


	33. Chapter 33

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An interview revealing the crime.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, BluSkates, for giving this a more professional edge.

* * *

 

 

Yuuri paced nervously in their room.  “What if I mess up?”

 

“Morooka explained that you would get to approve any statements that went into the show as well as the written article,” Victor reminded him.  “This will be pre-recorded so we can go slowly, go back if needed, and make sure that everything is clear and correct.  It’s not like a live interview.”

 

Yuuri drew in a shaky breath.  “I’m going to be exposed.”

 

“I know.  That’s why I’m staying by your side,” he stated firmly.  “I won’t let you do this alone.”

 

Yuuri sat next to him, his back straight and tense.  Victor ran his hand up and down Yuuri’s back in long circles.  “He might ask you questions, as well.”

 

“I’m aware of that.  The happier side of our story had already caught the interest of the figure skating community.  I don’t mind sharing the upsetting side…especially if it means someone could be saved.”

 

Yuuri turned to look at him, raising a shaky hand to Victor’s face.  “Wh-what if they retaliate?”

 

“The more visible we live our lives, the harder it will be for them to reach us.  The two skaters that died…they retreated, for their own reasons and I can’t judge them for that.  But you do not retreat.   You fight.  This is yet another battle…and you do not fight alone.”

 

Yuuri drew a breath in before leaning his head on Victor’s shoulder.  “Thank you.”

 

“Anything for you,  _ lyubov moya _ ,” he murmured.

 

* * *

 

 

Three hours later the two skaters found themselves upstairs at their favorite bookstore in a warm seating area speaking with Morooka.  “We’ll edit out anything that you are uncomfortable with,” Morooka reiterated.  “The reason I get so many exclusive interviews is that my sources know that I will honor this contract.”

 

“And the print article?” Yuuri asked.

 

“Same rules apply,” Morooka reassured him.  “Now, Mr. Nikiforov, will you be involved in this interview?”

 

“Yes,” Victor agreed.  “If Yuuri is willing to come forward, I’ll stand with him.”

 

“We can soften this news with talk about your relationship.  I know you want to get the harsh reality out and warn the figure skating community.  However, if you allow me to couch this into your overall story, I think it will be better received.”

 

“I think…I’d like that.  I’m already going to feel exposed but I feel better with Victor involved,” Yuuri stated quietly.

 

“Then let’s begin,” Morooka agreed.  He signaled his camera men.  “Katsuki Yuuri and Viktor Nikiforov are names that resonate through the figure skating world. Nikiforov, for his longevity in a sport, and Katsuki for his meteoric climb to a silver at World’s.  Gentlemen, you appear to share a gravity finally pulling you together, can you tell me how this began?”

 

Victor smiled bittersweetly.  “I suppose it began with the best and worst night of our lives.  I met my Yuuri at the banquet following the Grand Prix Final after failing miserably to get his attention earlier.”

 

Yuuri chuckled softly.  “You’ve had my attention since I was twelve.  You offered me a commemorative photo.  How was that a pick up line?”

 

Victor grinned.  “I thought it would be a good ice breaker that would allow me to get your number.  No one in my network had it and I was determined not to let this competition go by without getting it.  Except, you turned and ran the other way.”

 

Morooka chuckled.  “I was lucky enough to witness this.  I asked you, Yuuri, if you were not going to take him up on that photo and you looked like a deer in the headlights.”

 

“It was a hard and disappointing event,” Yuuri stated, his expression sober.  “In my mind, I had failed miserably, the death of my dog and anxiety both weighed heavily on me.  I was in no state to meet my idol.”

 

“But you did meet.  Tell us about that.”

 

Victor took over the story at this point.  “I met Yuuri finally on the dance floor and I was smitten.  We danced the tango, salsa, flamenco, and maybe even a waltz.  Throughout all that we had a few glasses of champagne.  As the evening came to a close, I determined to walk Yuuri back to his room with my friend Chris.  I put my number in his phone and asked him to wait for me. I forget what I needed to do. However, when I returned, he was gone.”

 

Yuuri nodded sadly.  “If I had waited, this story would very likely have a different outcome.  As it was, I had grown nervous and left to return to my room on my own.  I entered the elevator alone, and it started to go up, but at the following floor two other men entered the elevator.  I immediately felt uncomfortable, like something wasn’t right, but it wasn’t until the door closed that they turned and sprayed something in my face.

 

“I was aware of what was happening to me but it was like I was separated from myself and couldn’t respond.  They were gone by the time I began recovering from the effects of the drug, and I could pull my head together enough to get help.  My phone was in reach and I texted Victor…he was the first person in my messages because we had just exchanged contact information.”

 

Morooka offered Yuuri a sad smile and shifted the interview back to Victor to give him some relief.  “Victor, how did you respond?”

 

“When I received the cry for help, I worked to get his location and grabbed my friend.  We went up immediately.  I…was not prepared for the sight before me.  He had been…brutalized.  He was so traumatized that he could not form words.  We communicated through nonverbal signals as my friend and I worked to get help to his side.  I later joined him at the hospital after I spoke to the police.”

 

“Just to be clear, this crime was a sexual assault,” Morooka clarified.

 

Yuuri nodded, his expression darkened.  “I was raped.  It was why I didn’t compete at Nationals.  I was still in recovery, still trying to find my voice.  Living in Detroit with my roommate, I couldn’t process what had happened.  Then, someone else tried to force himself on me.  No one tells you that once you are raped, it seems you become a target for others.  Victor had continued to reach out to me since we had parted and he facetimed me as I waited for help, locked in my bathroom.  He reached out to my roommate as he continued to talk to me and keep me calm.  Then, he came to Detroit.”

 

Victor drew a deep breath and nodded.  “I couldn’t let go of what I had seen and I was deeply shaken by it.  I had to go to Yuuri’s side and try to help him pull through.”

 

“Victor helped me to find my voice and get counseling. He got me back on the ice, and reworked my programs, helping me podium at both 4C’s and Worlds.  We’ve danced on the ice together and he participated in my senior recital.  I never imagined he would take such an interest in my world…but I truly believe that I would have been lost if he hadn’t.”

 

“Yuuri it’s hard to think about this, but I do have to ask the hard question.  Your rapists, have they been caught?”

 

Yuuri drew a deep breath and released it slowly.  “No.  But they did approach me and threaten my friends at the World Figure Skating Championships.  Because of this arrogance on their part we were able to capture their images.”

 

“Those pictures have been forwarded to our office by the agent in charge of your case.”  Morooka changed his voice to indicate this section would be edited out, “we will put the pictures over the audio for the audience to see, along with contact information if they are spotted by viewers.”

 

Yuuri nodded.  “Good.  Because I want people to be aware.”

 

Morooka shifted back into his formal voice, “You have since learned more disturbing information.”

 

“Yes, we learned that I wasn’t their only victim.  While they had attacked me at the largest event they struck at, several skaters have reported attacks at smaller, regional events.  Some of these assaults weren’t labeled as rapes.  The ones that I reached out to, though, confirmed that it was, indeed, rape.  That is, the people who would talk to me.  It’s so personal and so many people believe men can’t be raped, therefore, it goes underreported.  When I tried to find counseling, I learned most crisis centers would turn me away without referral.  I finally found my way into private counseling to deal with the after effects of the rape.”

 

“If you could say one thing to other skaters, what would it be?”

 

“Don’t walk alone.  Stay with a group or at least in pairs.  And do not get into an elevator or climb a stair well alone.  You are less vulnerable in groups.”

 

“Victor?”

 

“I’m certain there are those who never reported their assault.  If you have information, the number will be provided to contact Interpol about this case.  Whether you choose to come forward or not, you are not alone.  Please get help.  Find a counselor that helps you work through this.  Find friends that will help you sort through this and feel safe again.  And if you are the one they reach out to, please listen.  Help them to get the counseling they need.”

 

“Thank you for coming forward and talking to us about this, Katsuki Yuuri and Victor Nikiforov.  I know this was not an easy statement to make.  We wish you a continued recovery and success in the upcoming season.”

 

“Thank you, Morooka-san,” Yuuri responded with Victor echoing.

 

Morooka cut the cameras before asking, “Is there anything you want to cut?”

 

They exchanged glances before shaking their heads.  “Let’s go with it,” Victor stated.  “Thank you, Morooka-san.  We appreciate you handling this with sensitivity.”

 

The reporter thinned his lips and nodded.  “Of course.  I know this wasn’t easy.  I hope it helps to keep other skaters safe.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two more chapters left to Hasetsu.


	34. Chapter 34

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some NSFW fun as Yuuri and Victor goes to Tokyo for a photoshoot for Mizuno.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks, BluSkates. You're the best of sounding boards! Thanks so much for the edits and input!

* * *

 

 

They arrived in Tokyo on Tuesday morning with two days scheduled with Mizuno and a return flight scheduled for Friday.  Yuuri hated to give this time up with his family but this photoshoot and subsequent ad campaign would provide for all of his costumes, his practice clothes, and the Team Japan uniforms.  Mizuno’s sponsorship also covered a number of the other competition expenses, including fees and travel.  The ad company paid for this trip, the hotel, and most of the other expenses.  Yuuri had to make as much of this opportunity as possible.

 

The interview had been broadcast the previous evening and Yuuri began to receive calls for interviews from other reporters almost immediately.  Victor intercepted the calls, declining for the time being.  When the written article hit the stands that morning, it was translated quickly and broke internationally by the time their plane landed.  Victor caught Yuuri with his phone open scrolling before he removed it from his hands.  “I don’t want to have to lock you out of social media.  At least let my PR firm filter this first.”  Yuuri frowned but nodded.  As Victor opened his partner’s phone, he could already see a few negative comments go through.  There are always a few.  There would always be people who had to twist the knife.

 

They arrived at the hotel and checked in, immediately heading upstairs.  Yuuri looked around the comfortable suite, seated in the middle of the bed in black dance shorts, grayish blue t-shirt, and gray over the knee socks after stretching from the morning travel.

 

Victor was on the phone making several calls and speaking in Russian.  Yuuri didn’t know if it was more about Sasha or if Victor was working some things out with Yakov or maybe even the PR firm but he could sense the agitation in the older man’s voice.  Yuuri frowned as he drew his legs into a pretzel.  He hated the Sasha business and struggled to dismiss the unease, blaming his anxiety.  As the conversation droned, Yuuri grew bored with listening in on something he couldn’t make out, curling up on top of the blanket to nap.

 

Victor found him like this, dropping Yuuri’s travel blanket around him and wrapping him in its fuzzy comfort.  Yuuri stirred, snuggling up into Victor’s embrace.  “I’m sorry,” he murmured.  “I called the firm.  And I’m just trying to get things sorted out for when we move.”

 

“Is he going to be there?” Yuuri pouted.

 

Victor smiled indulgently.  “I’m trying to get him out.  I’ve put him in touch with a real estate agent that works with rental properties.”

 

Yuuri nodded, turning away.  Part of him felt ashamed of his behavior.  Part of him, though, felt justified…this was the part that his anxiety fed into, the unease building.  He felt Victor’s kisses on his shoulder and neck. He knew he would give into the man beside him; he knew this man would draw him out of the hole he had curled into.  Yuuri finally turned in Victor’s arms accepting those kisses as they moved up the side of his face, his delicate fingers caressing the other side with only their utmost tips.  Yuuri angled his chin, seeking those kisses and Victor relinquished them, his tongue darting into his mouth, opening him up, then claiming him.  “I don’t want to be like this,” Yuuri confessed in a whisper.

 

“I know,” Victor murmured.  “I hate to put you through this.”  He tightened his embrace, deepening the kiss, shoving external thoughts away as they focused on each other.  He finally felt Yuuri’s shoulders loosen in his embrace, releasing his anxious thoughts, the eagerness of his response enveloping his silver-haired partner with moans.

 

At some point, Victor pulled back, fingering the edge of Yuuri’s shirt.  “As much as I love to see you in this, I think it needs to go.”  The tee pulled free of Yuuri’s body and found itself discarded on the nearby floor.  Yuuri moaned once more as Victor’s lips moved insistently towards his nipple, swirling his tongue around it before sucking it in, receiving a groaning arch of Yuuri’s back in reply.  “You like that,” he teased.

 

“Nnnnh,” was all Yuuri could manage as the onslaught of that tongue on one nipple was joined by Victor’s fingers rolling the other nipple between the pads.  Victor then traded places, his tongue laving attention to the second, his fingers rolling the first.  Yuuri’s finger tangled into the silver hair, running through it in desperate strokes as Victor broke free and brought his kisses downwards, fingers settling at the waist of Yuuri’s dance shorts.

 

“No dance belt?” Victor asked, his eyes glittering as they rested on the building bulge in the shorts.

 

Yuuri shook his head.  “I had no plans to leave,” he grated.  “Modesty wasn’t an issue.”

 

Victor’s grin grew with those words.  “No, indeed.”  He mouthed the ridge through the shorts receiving a frustratingly beautiful moan as Yuuri’s hands opened and closed in the sheets beneath him.

 

He teased the waistband when Yuuri grabbed hold of his hand.  He looked up to catch that glare.  “Just take them off already.”

 

Victor chuckled, tugging them over his hip, watching Yuuri come free of the fabric with a bounce and offering an appreciative hum for the view.  He cautiously left the socks, loving how they left the brunette with a stockinged appearance and then tossed the shorts behind him, returning his gaze to Yuuri, a feral glint in their depths.  He heard Yuuri’s sharp intake of breath.

 

Yuuri’s fingers made short work of Victor’s shirt, and it soon fell in the wake of the shorts, his lips hungry and desperate as they chased his fingers down Victor’s torso.  As Victor remained in the straddle of those legs, he felt Yuuri’s hand guide him into an upright position on his knees.  Then the button released on his slacks followed by the zipper slipping down.  Yuuri quickly shoved them down over his hips and down as far as they could go before looking up and leveling a gaze at Victor.  “Off!” he demanded.

 

Victor grinned and moved to accommodate his lover.  Returning to that place between his legs he dropped down on his knees taking Yuuri’s hands in his, his lips finding Yuuri’s with a crash of tongue and teeth, trying to consume each other as Victor worked Yuuri back up the bed.  Releasing those lips, he rocked back onto his heels, studying the picture before him, Yuuri coming undone, his hands now free pulled back on either side of his face, his hair disheveled, his lower lip caught between his teeth, his skin flushed, his cock leaking, waiting for Victor and only Victor.  He reached to the side of the bed where he threw the lube and condom he’d freed from his pants pockets as he removed them earlier.

 

Yuuri watched his movements as he deliberately squirted the lube then rolled it slowly between his fingers holding those brown eyes.  Leaning forward, Yuuri hooked one leg over his shoulder affording him greater access.  Victor raised an eyebrow and smiled appreciatively, Yuuri’s eagerness to have him inside him apparent.

 

He watched Yuuri’s face open into a state of tortured ecstasy as he slowly eased the first finger inside, Yuuri’s breathy moan almost undoing Victor untouched.  “Shit, Yuuri…you are so hot.”

 

“Then why the hell is that finger not moving?” Yuuri demanded.  Victor grinned even as he slowly pulled his finger, watching Yuuri glare at him in return.  Leaning forward, he captured Yuuri’s lips in a kiss even as he quickened the movements of said finger so that his lover would no longer be displeased.  “Another,” he demanded against Victor’s lips.

 

Victor pulled back with a raised eyebrow, questioningly, but Yuuri tugged him back down, “I didn’t say stop kissing me.  I merely demanded another fucking finger.”  Victor chuckled.  This was a new side of Yuuri and he liked the way he pushed his will.  Victor teased the entrance momentarily, feeling it relax and give way as he pressed inward, Yuuri’s eyes half-lidding as his moan released.  Victor leaned forward to taste that moan, swallowing it and allowing it to settle deep within him, feeling it stoke a fire that demanded Yuuri.  Victor’s kisses became more insistent as he scissored his fingers stretching Yuuri further.

 

Yuuri broke free from the kiss, whispering against his skin, “Another, Vitya.” The demand held a whine at the edge of his voice and Victor found himself capturing those lips once more, deepening it even as he made a place for that third finger as Yuuri desired, curling it to tease his prostate receiving a gasp in response that he swallowed down as well.

 

Victor released Yuuri’s lips only to nibble a path along his chin, down his neck, returning to capture Yuuri’s ear in between his teeth.  His fingers continued to move relentlessly within Yuuri and Victor’s ears beheld a steady onslaught of noises as Yuuri came undone beneath him.  He then felt Yuuri’s fingers on the side of his face forcing him to face him.  Holding his eyes steadily, Yuuri added one more command.  “Fuck me, Vitya.”

 

Victor leaned back on his feet pulling his hand free and watching Yuuri pout at the loss of fingers.  He reached for the condom with his clean hand and used his teeth to tear open the package, rolling it into place.  Grabbing the lube, he spread the slick moisture along his own shaft before lining it up with Yuuri’s stretched entrance.  Yuuri held his eyes as he eased into him and Victor heard his voice hitch at the initial stretch allowing Victor entrance.  That hitch quickly morphed into a low moan as Victor steadily moved in, watching Yuuri’s face for any sign of pain.  When Victor started to hesitate, he felt a leg wrap around his waist, pulling him in deeper.  He was finally seated within Yuuri, leaning forward to kiss him once more.  As he released those lips, Yuuri whispered, “I want you deeper.”

 

Victor’s eyes widened.  Reaching for one leg then the other, he pushed them up over his shoulders, feeling Yuuri’s flexibility as he molded into the position guided by Victor’s hands.  He pressed even deeper as he held Yuuri’s eyes, the other man’s jaw going slack as he felt the depth he wanted.  Finally, Yuuri nodded signaling Victor to move.

 

Victor started slow but soon gained momentum encouraged by Yuuri’s moans, his hands tangling in his pillow, his eyes blown wide, his head occasionally thrashing, cries slipping out that went beyond moans, then finally a cry of “Vitya!”  He continued to murmur, Japanese flowing over his tongue unintelligible but Victor heard his name more than once and… _anata_?  Victor’s breath hitched.  He knew he was close to the edge yet continued to pound into Yuuri, when he heard Yuuri’s cry, watching in shock as Yuuri came untouched, feeling the spasms through Yuuri’s walls sending him over the edge with his lover as he continued to ride out his orgasm within Yuuri’s warmth.

 

Releasing Yuuri’s knees, Victor’s head dropped down against Yuuri’s shoulder trying to catch his breath.  “Wow!” Victor stated.

 

“Wow, indeed.  You didn’t even touch me.”

 

“I know.”

 

“It was so intense.”

 

“I wanted to do that the first time we went to the Love Hotel.”

 

“I didn’t even know…that was possible.”

 

Victor pulled Yuuri into his embrace, kissing him deeply even as he slipped free of Yuuri’s hole.  Pulling back, he looked at the beautiful mess beneath him.  Another quick kiss, he moved to clean up dropping the tied off condom into the trash along the way.  He returned moments later with a warm cloth and quickly removed the remnants of their intimacy.

 

Yuuri stretched his arms around Victor’s neck as he settled next to him.  “You wanted to go out?”

 

“Maybe not immediately.  I think we need a nap.”

 

* * *

 

 

Yuuri awakened before Victor and pulled his phone to read messages.  Words from close friends, some who knew about the rape and some who didn’t, came across in text messages and private twitter. He quickly brushed through them and focused on Chris, Phichit, and Yuri.

 

**Phichit/ Are you alright?  You didn’t tell me you were doing an interview.**

 

**Phichit/ Yuuri!  I’m worried.**

 

**Phichit/ You were amazing, btw.**

 

**Phichit/ You are blacked out, aren’t you?  Victor took your phone.**

 

**Yuuri/ He did for a while.  My social media is being filtered.**

 

**Yuuri/ Sorry for worrying you.**

 

**Phichit/ It’s okay...as long as you are alright.**

 

**Yuuri/ In Tokyo for photoshoot.**

 

**Phichit/ Mizuno?**

 

**Yuuri/ Yes.**

 

*******

 

**Chris/ Yuuri, you handled yourself beautifully.  Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.**

 

**Chris/ Please contact Peach.  He’s tying himself up in knots with worry.**

 

**Yuuri/ Thank you.  I have.  Sorry...Vitya took my phone.**

 

**Chris/ Peach said he might.  Okay.  Good.  Let me know if you need anything.**

 

**Yuuri/ Thank you.  I will.**

 

*******

**Yura/ Pfft!  Do I need to kick some ass?**

 

**Yura/ Katsudon, why aren't you answering?**

 

**Yura/ You're starting to scare me.**

 

**Yura/ Okay, Peach told me you might have your phone locked down.**

 

**Yuuri/ I'm okay.  Vitya had my phone.**

 

**Yura/ Is anyone fucking with you since the interview.**

 

**Yuuri/ I saw a few things before Victor swiped my phone.  Now it's being filtered.**

 

**Yura/ And you're really okay?**

 

**Yuuri/ Yes.  Vitya is handling the fallout.  I had to do it.**

 

**Yura/ I know.**

 

**Yuuri/ I want to take a class in Russia.  More self-defense.**

 

**Yura/ That's what I like to hear!  I'm there!**

 

**Yuuri/ :) Great!  Thank you.**

 

**Yura/ I'll check around.  You'll be here soon.**

 

**Yuuri/ Yes.  We'll have to hang out.**

 

**Yura/ Play some COD.**

 

**Yuuri/ You're on!  lol**

 

 

He snuggled up to Victor, then, and started kissing him until the man woke up laughing softly.  “I’m hungry,” the Japanese man announced.

 

“Okay.  Okay.  I’m up.”  They soon left to find something to eat.  As they left the lobby and walked out onto the street Yuuri began to throw on dark glasses and work his hair into a messy version of his cut when he realized that with Victor beside him, it wouldn’t matter.  Victor put a reassuring arm around him and whispered, “Walk in like you belong and nobody will doubt you.”

 

Straightening up, they found a nearby restaurant that didn’t require reservations.  Yuuri drew a few curious stares.  A woman and her teenaged daughter approached to ask if he was Katsuki Yuuri.  Upon confirmation, they asked for an autograph.  Yuuri started to relax further when the girl leaned forward and asked if she’d address it to her brother.  That he, too, was a victim of assault and Yuuri’s story told him he wasn’t alone.  Yuuri’s demeanor broke and he nodded even as a tear broke free.  On the paper, he wrote the words.  “Keep fighting.  Never let them win.”  Yuuri insisted they take a selfie together, and held their fingers up in a V.  The mother and daughter thanked them before leaving them to their meal.

 

“It never occurred to me that it would mean something to those outside the figure skating community,” Yuuri finally murmured quietly.

 

“I know.  Are you okay?”

 

Yuuri drew a deep breath to clear away some of the raggedness brought forth by the tears.  “Yes.  I didn’t think I would be, but I am.   I’ll still need your help dealing with the public.”

 

“Always,” Victor answered as he leaned forward to brush a kiss on the younger man’s forehead both oblivious to the pictures taken until they received notifications on their phones.  “Celebrity lives,” Victor said with a shrug and half smile.

 

They walked back to their room hand in hand, the stress of the day catching up to them and quickly dragging them back into sleep.

 

* * *

 

 

Yuuri scrolled through his now filtered social media while he waited on photographers.  Makeup was occupied by two other athletes involved in this shoot.  He felt someone near and looked up as Victor leaned over his shoulder.  “Still getting notifications about the interview?”

 

“Yes,” Yuuri murmured.  “And more has released about Hyeon-Ju.  They’ve linked the two stories and more connections are being made by the press than Phichit found.  It’s turning into something much bigger than I realized.”

 

“You wanted them to be aware.”

 

Yuuri nodded.  “And with your PR firm filtering my messages, I’m only seeing words of support come through.”

 

“I don’t think they’ve had to filter much,” Victor stated quietly, his jaw stiff.  He did see some more of the negative responses before he put the firm on it. Yuuri would be signing a contract with them once they arrived in Russia as well as the sports management firm connected with them.  He knew this would be a good move because it allowed Yuuri to focus on the positives.

 

“Katsuki-san,” one of the assistants called out motioning him to follow.  

 

Rolling his eyes towards Victor, he murmured, “Duty calls.”

 

“Show them your beauty,” Victor responded.

 

Yuuri gave him a playful wink, leaning forward to whisper in his ear, “I’ll save that for you.”  He laughed as he danced away from Victor’s arms and spotted Victor’s open mouthed stare.

 

Yuuri followed the assistant to where he was intercepted by one of the Mizuno representatives.  “Katsuki-san, Mizuno is honored that someone with your courage will represent our company. We, at the company watched your interview, and we wanted you to know that our support will not waiver as you face this struggle.  You’ve always represented the Mizuno brand with grace and dignity.”

 

* * *

 

 

With the initial ad releases of _Éros_ , Mizuno chose to bank on that sexuality as well.  Yuuri found the photos a bit more risqué than in the past, more so than the other two athletes.  The single ads, had Yuuri’s smoldering eyes, uncertain pout, as he draped a pair of skates over his shoulders, his knees parted over a bench as he leaned forward.  It all read invitation as Mizuno invited their customers to explore their product.  And all of this was done without revealing any extra skin.

 

As Victor looked over the extra prints, he teased Yuuri that he was going to start his own collection of Yuuri memorabilia.  Yuuri tried to snatch it back but Victor was very proprietary towards it, guarding it well.  “Just don’t post them,” Yuuri demanded.

 

Victor laughed.  “I know the protocol.  No photos posted until after the ad releases.”  Yuuri pouted and Victor knew that wasn’t exactly what he meant. Slipping his arms around Yuuri, he murmured into Yuuri’s ear, “My sexy katsudon, you need to become used to the attention because after this season no one will see you in the same way.  You have come into your own sensuality.”

 

“I-is that really what they will think?” Yuuri asked uncertainly.  “They won’t see me as a…victim?”

 

Victor started, the conversation taking a surprising turn.  “Is that what you’re afraid of?”

 

“I’m a little afraid that they won’t see me, Vitya.  That they will see what happened to me.  That it will stain my program.”

 

“We won’t let it, _lyubov moya_ ,” Victor reassured him gently.  “You will demand attention.  And you will do that by giving it to no one but me.  It makes them hunger for more.”

 

Yuuri drew a deep breath and nodded.  “I can do this.”

 

“That’s my beautiful Yuuri,” he answered softly, the purr of his voice sending pleasing vibrations down Yuuri’s neck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more chapter! Can you believe it? We're almost finished with Hasetsu!


	35. Chapter 35

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> LAST CHAPTER TO HASETSU *** Part 3 starts up in St. Petersburg

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These last two chapters took so long to properly sew up. Thankfully, I have a great reader and editor in BluSkates. You should all tell her how much you love her!
> 
> So this is it...the closing of an era. Flying north to St. Petersburg.

* * *

 

 

Sasaki sat before them with a referral page.  “Just remember, when you return, I’m here of you need me.  Just call.  Even if it is a short trip home.”

 

“Thank you, Sasaki-sensei,” Yuuri murmured echoed by Victor.  Yuuri continued, “I appreciate all the effort you put towards our recovery.  I feel…more on my feet than ever.”

 

“Your previous therapist laid the groundwork.  The real hero here is yourself.  You wanted to get better and there is no stopping someone who is willing to put in the work to recover.  If all of my patients worked as hard as the two of you, I’d be out of business.  But truly, if you need me to work with you again, call me.  I hope those referrals will help you get in contact with good professionals to keep your progress going in Russia.  Best of luck, you two.”

 

They left the office feeling a bit sad in an odd sort of way.  They had spent so many hours working through their pain and mental health with Sasaki’s guidance and the guidance of Hashimoto.  Now they were preparing for new territory.

 

* * *

 

 

Victor studied the list in hand, before he met Yuuri’s eyes.  “Will we be back in time to meet Papa?”

 

Yuuri leaned forward to check the time for the appointment and nodded.  “This train is an express.  We will be fine.”

 

Toshiya met them at the attorney’s office as they prepared for the purchase of the old onsen.  Signatures and discussions, contact exchanges, and soon that matter was in process, their future moving forward under Yuuri’s father’s direction.

 

“Thank you, Otousan,” Yuuri murmured with a bow. 

 

Victor smiled warmly towards his partner before turning to Toshiya and also bowing.  “Thank you, Papa.”

 

Toshiya kept his face serious as he answered, “I would do the same for Mari.  This allows my son to move home once he retires.  I think I would like that.”  He then grinned.  “It makes your mother happy.  Happy wife, happy home.”

 

Victor and Yuuri both laughed as the three of them climbed into Toshiya’s car and went home.

 

The rest of the afternoon was spent preparing for the party his mother and Minako organized.  Yuuri was under strict instructions to not disappear.  Close friends would be there filling the banquet room with so much activity.  They would have Friday to finish up packing and Saturday they flew out.  Victor’s presence was constantly grounding him as he fought tears off and on all week.

 

As the guests converged, Yuuri found himself surrounded with family he hadn’t seen in a while eager to meet Yuuri’s “young man”.  Yuuri found himself covering his face in embarrassment suffering the loving but mortifying comments that could only come from family.  He also found himself swallowing back sobs as he stood before his uncle who held onto him for a long time telling him how he didn’t know how badly Yuuri had struggled that year.  An aunt was worse.  Finally, the extended family slipped away leaving Yuuri’s parents, sister, Minako, and the Nishigoris – who managed to slip away long enough to take the triplets to Takeshi’s parents for the night.

 

The saki and wine flowed although Yuuri and Victor each only sipped on one glass, a strategy they devised for social occasions involving alcohol.  Victor enjoyed the stories that went back and forth:  the time Yuuri kissed Takeshi in confusion; the day Yuuri disappeared and no one could find him only to locate him on the beach with Vicchan chasing a butterfly – it turned out that butterfly led him on a chase around half the town; and the time that Yuuri rescued a kitten before school sneaking it into class and keeping it secret until lunch with the cooperation of Takeshi and Yuuko.

 

Yuuri was nodding off in his seat when the party started breaking up and Victor found himself helping his lover up to their room, which was now littered with boxes as they decided what would stay and what would be shipped.  The next morning would see the packing resuming.  Helping Yuuri undress, he tucked the blankets around him.  He took out his phone and plugged it up, reviewing his messages with a frown.  Turning to Yuuri, he ran his fingers through the younger man’s hair, his expression troubled.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Victor opened his mouth several times to talk to Yuuri about their move but struggled finding the words.   His promise to “take care of it” was coming back to bite him in the ass.  As they taped the last box, Victor wrote out the label with a marker and attached the necessary customs documentation.  

 

Yuuri laid back on the bed letting out a long sigh.  “You know what I need?”

 

Victor turned towards Yuuri with interest.  “No, what?” he asked with a raised eyebrow.

 

“I need to dance.  Will you come with me one last time to Minako’s studio?”

 

“It won’t be our last time,” Victor murmured with promise.

 

Yuuri reached for him and as Victor pulled him to his feet, he snuggled up into his arms.  “I was gone for such a long time before.  It’s surreal that we’ll be moving back and forth.  I feel like…I need to go.”

 

“Of course.  It’s a beautiful night for a walk anyway.  Let’s take the dogs.”

 

The walk to the studio was cool and fragrant, the breeze teasing through their hair.  They fell into step easily, each holding a lead, fingers entwined.  Various residents waved, recognizing the couple.  “I’m going to like living here,” Victor murmured.

 

“Part of me doesn’t want to leave,” Yuuri admitted.  He felt a squeeze on his hand and looked up to meet Victor’s eyes.

 

“Hey, my Yuuri…home is wherever we are together.”  Victor’s voice reached out to him, tugging his thoughts closer.

 

“It’s just…I haven’t been back to Russia since it happened,” he whispered, worry in his eyes.  “What if I go backwards?  What if I can’t find my place?”

 

“I have no worries about you finding your place, love.  My rink mates have already adopted you.  But if you are miserable at the end of the season, we can rethink our plan.  Even if it means returning to Detroit.”

 

Yuuri drew a ragged breath and nodded.  “Thank you for that…but I think Detroit is behind me.  I need…to embrace this.  It’s only until you retire and we still have half the year in Hasetsu.”

 

Victor smiled warmly.  “And don’t forget.  We have Yurio!”

 

Yuuri chuckled at that.  “How can I forget Yura?”

 

“You are as attached to him as I,” Victor teased.

 

“I thought you were jealous of him,” Yuuri returned, bumping Victor to one side with his hip.

 

Victor laughed, “Only in that he could reach a part of you that was out of my reach.  I never truly felt threatened…although, he did say if I screwed up, he was making you his!”  Victor wrapped up with a grin.

 

Yuuri rolled his eyes and returned his smile.  “You are quite confident in yourself.”

 

“Not at all…I am only confident in your ability to forgive me,” he declared. 

 

Their steps brought them to the studio.  Yuuri’s fingers danced up the railing as they climbed the stairs.  Victor took the key from Yuuri and unlocked the door, guiding him in with a hand at the small of his back.  Securing the door behind him, they glanced around the moonlit space.    

 

As Victor selected the [ music](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0_HS-7eQ4p4) , his eyes followed Yuuri as he moved into a series of pirouettes.  Moving behind Yuuri, he wrapped his arms around the other man and began leading him into a dance.  “I went through so much and it seems like I found so much recovery in this place, Vitya.”

 

“I agree.  Hashimoto suggesting dance therapy was a genius move.  I remember…our first time in this place.”

 

Yuuri laughed softly.  “And Minako not so softly letting me know that she knew full well why the studio had been cleaned up so thoroughly.”

 

“That was the dressing room…I would love to see you stretched out across the dance floor, though, moonlight spilling across your skin.”

 

“And risk getting caught?” Yuuri asked doubtfully as he glanced towards the door. 

 

“I already asked Minako for a quiet night at the studio…she just asked that we clean up after ourselves,” Victor stated with a wink.  He thought he spotted a darkening in Yuuri’s cheeks but the moonlight bleached out the color. 

 

“You knew I’d want to dance,” Yuuri whispered, with a smile touching his lips and eyes.

 

Turning Yuuri in his arms, Victor’s lips found the younger man’s teasing them open with his tongue as he dragged Yuuri closer to the sultry sway of the music.  Yuuri matched his movements, letting Victor lead him through the complex steps of the tango he was creating, stealing kisses from Yuuri’s lips, planting kisses along his neck, fingers moving with purpose over the surface of Yuuri’s clothes, enough pressure to tease and move Yuuri into the next step.  As the [ music](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ufkBn3PKfcI) transitioned, Yuuri was pulled tight up against Victor and he felt those fingers tugging at the hem of his shirt.  As Victor caught hold of the hem, Yuuri twisted with the music allowing the shirt to slip off of his form.

 

Victor returned to him, murmuring next to his ear, “This I’m going to miss access to a private studio.”

 

“We may have to rethink your apartment,” Yuuri suggested as he pushed off and danced out of his lover’s reach.

 

Victor chuckled, the sound releasing as a throaty rumble.  “Who needs a sofa or a table?”

 

“Keep the bed, though,” Yuuri teased as he danced back into Victor’s reach.  The older man captured him around the waist and pressed their hips close.

 

“The only necessary piece,” Victor agreed, his hand sliding over Yuuri’s ass with a playful squeeze that received a widening of those brown eyes before Victor allowed those hands to trail down Yuuri’s thighs, pulling that leg up to cradle Victor’s growing need.  Victor lowered his lips to trace the column of Yuuri’s neck, his arm supporting Yuuri as the other man arched his back into the trail of kisses lowering down Yuuri’s chest and abdomen.  Looking up from his place on the floor, Victor’s eyes lifted to Yuuri’s seeking permission as his fingers going to the elastic of the waistband.  Yuuri held them for a torturous moment before nodding slowly, his lips parted breathlessly.

 

Victor guided the pants down trailing after with kisses along Yuuri’s hipbones and down his thigh, hands guiding Yuuri’s feet from the pants legs.  Victor once more raised his eyes, watching how the moonlight cast silver across the gold of Yuuri’s skin.

 

“I love how the moonlight plays against your hair,” the younger man murmured as his hand slid through Victor’s hair.  Victor smiled up at Yuuri, his tongue slipping out to tease Yuuri’s length tracing along the vein.  Yuuri’s fingers tightened in his hair as he hissed out, “Vitya!”

 

Victor grinned up at him wickedly before allowing his tongue to circumnavigate the head of his cock, his lips then encompassing the surface as he slid his tongue down the slit.  Yuuri answered with a moan as he tightened his arms around Victor.  Victor continued his kisses down the shaft, licking his way back up as he felt Yuuri’s fingers tightening in his hair, loosening, finger combing through, only to tighten once more.  Victor’s hands continued to squeeze and kneed Yuuri’s ass, holding him in place as he continued to lavish attention on his length.

Yuuri gasped as Victor began to focus his attention on the head once more, tongue and lips making a mess of things.  Victor then sucked him down as he watched Yuuri’s head fall back in an open mouthed moan in the mirror.  He continued to bob up and down, listening to all of the wonderful sounds Yuuri produced as he teased with his tongue, hollowed his cheeks, and hummed to create more responses.

 

A quickening of those hands in his hair told him before Yuuri’s words that he was about to come.  He tightened his hold on that ass of his as he swallowed him down slowly.  Pulling back he could feel the tightening of Yuuri’s muscles as his release started to fill Victor.  He swallowed, though some of his cum slipped out from the side of his mouth.  He felt Yuuri wobble in his arms and caught him as his knees gave way. 

 

Victor guided him down into his lap then eased him into the floor.  Sitting back, he admired the vision on display, the soft definition catching the light and outlining his form, his hair mussed, his face blissed out, his legs that had been so shaky drawn in, knees bent.  “So beautiful,” he murmured.  Leaning over Yuuri, those legs of his easily parting, Victor brushed his lips over Yuuri’s forehead, nose, then lips, capturing several shallow, open mouthed kisses.  He allowed one of his hands to skim down Yuuri’s side.  “I’m going to make you come again before I’m done with you,” Victor promised softly against his ear.  He felt the man beneath him shiver, fingers tugging at his shirt.  Dropping back onto his knees, he pulled the shirt over his head.  “Better?”  Yuuri’s needy hands reaching out to him spoke volumes. 

 

“You know, if we ever do any submissive play, we will have to work out a system of nonverbal signals,” Victor stated softly even as he lowered himself back over the younger man.  He received a nod in reply, even as a hand came up, wrapping around his neck, and pulling him in for a demanding kiss.  “Of course, it could be you putting me into submission,” Victor continued, his words vibrating against Yuuri’s skin as he worked open mouthed kisses against Yuuri’s skin. 

 

Victor felt a tugging at his waistband and chuckled.  “You want this gone, too?” he teased, his hands going down to the button on his slacks.  Yuuri gave him an impatient glare causing him to chuckle once more as he slowly unfastened the pants, sliding them down just past his hips even as he removed something from his pocket to set it on the floor beside him.  Yuuri followed that hand movement and Victor smirked at the raised eyebrow.  “I’m nothing if not prepared.”  He reached for the elastic of his briefs and freed his straining cock.  He watched Yuuri’s eyes as they took him in hungrily, in unblinking focus.  He watched Yuuri’s lips part in desire, tongue sliding over his lower lip slowly.  He watched hands reaching out to him, opening and closing in invitation. 

 

The older man shifted forward, ducking down just shy of Yuuri’s lips to kiss the bottom of his chin, feeling Yuuri tilt his head to give him greater access to his neck, a soft moan slipping free in response.  Victor pulled back and reached for the small bottle of lube, smiling to the man beneath him as he unconsciously opened up to him in anticipation.  Leaning forward to capture Yuuri’s lips in a kiss, his finger found the entrance on the familiar landscape of Yuuri’s body. 

 

Yuuri relaxed around his familiar touch, Victor’s finger eased inside even as he took Yuuri’s lower lip between his teeth.  Dipping down once more, he deepened his kiss into Yuuri’s mouth feeling Yuuri’s tongue press back against his, wrapping around his in response.  His finger continued to fuck Yuuri and was soon joined by another which Yuuri accepted with ease.  “God, Yuuri!” Victor exclaimed as he pulled back.  Yuuri laid back, eyes heavy lidded, reaching for him once more.  Victor teased the entrance with the third finger as he held those eyes, receiving a nod and watching that mouth open in pleasure at the stretch he provided with that third digit.  He had never seen Yuuri this undone and Victor was enthralled.

 

Victor teased and tormented his lover with those fingers, sliding along that pleasure center with those long fingers as he dipped down to suck on Yuuri’s nipple receiving an incongruous groan in response, a hand wrapping around his head, holding it close.  When he pulled back, he could see the other hand tangled into those brown strands near his ear, his face lost in pleasure.  He cried out in protest as Victor removed his fingers but watched him raptly as the older man rolled the condom in place and prepared himself, lining up at that stretched entrance.

 

The sound that came from Yuuri’s lips as Victor’s head pushed past Yuuri’s entrance fell somewhere between a moan and a whine, both wanton and needy.  Victor took deep breaths before continuing into Yuuri’s heat, the passage tight around him.  He could feel Yuuri stretch to accommodate him.  After several moments of hesitation where Victor recentered himself, he finally seated into the younger man.  Yuuri lay still holding him in his arms.  He felt his lover’s fingers in his hair.  Pulling up, he sought out those eyes.  “Are you okay?” 

 

Yuuri blinked and nodded, his lips opening as he pulled Victor into a kiss, his tongue sweeping the inside of Victor’s mouth, his arms holding him close through the kiss.  As he released the older man, his eyes studied Victor, watching his uncertainty.  He reached up and traced the outline of his face, his thumb and forefinger cradling his chin and forcing those blue eyes to meet his.  Breathing deeply, he focused on finding words and forcing them out.  “I’m okay, Vitya.  So…much…is…all.  Please.”  Yuuri used his other hand to reach towards Victor’s hip and pull it towards him even as he lifted his own, issuing an open mouthed moan.

 

As if a spell had been broken, Victor nodded, slowly moving his hips to build the heat further.  His movements became faster as Yuuri’s answering movements grew more insistent.  With all of the foreplay, Victor realized he wouldn’t last but Yuuri’s cock already lay leaking across his stomach and he knew the other man was close.  Leaning forward, he heard a gasp with the change of position and a smile escaped his lips even as he reached for Yuuri’s length.  He worked to bring their pleasure to a climax, mesmerized as Yuuri gave into his touch, moaning as Yuuri met him thrust for thrust, murmuring words in Russian, English, even French as he found his release in the man beneath him.  Yuuri’s seed lay sticky in his hands as Victor eased him back down to the floor.

 

“I’ll find a towel to clean you up.  Stay,  _ solnyska _ ,” Victor directed as he twisted away, standing on shaky legs of his own.  He returned shortly to find Yuuri still taking deep breaths and Victor realized he was centering himself.  “Are you still alright?”

 

Yuuri nodded, blinking as he focused.  Finally he swallowed.  “I…can’t…get up.”

 

“Give your body time.  I even had shaky legs, love.  Let me take care of you.”  Victor cleaned him up and placed a second towel under his head.  When Yuuri was finally ready to sit up, Victor helped to ease him up and pulled his shirt over him, pulling him into his embrace and brushing a kiss against his forehead.  “I haven’t had to take care of someone like this…I’ve never taken someone to this state of bliss.”

 

Yuuri rested his back into Victor’s chest, his forehead tucked next to his chin, seeking the words and slowly reconnecting his thoughts.  “I couldn’t…move past the feeling.  The words…were too far to grab.  Different from before.  Not like…when scared.”

 

“I’ve read about it before and talked to a couple of people who’ve been there but it…takes a level of trust and surrender I’ve never achieved.  I’m…honored you trust me to that degree.”

 

Yuuri looked up at him in surprise.  “I trust you…more than anyone.”

 

“I know,” he murmured, pressing another kiss against Yuuri’s forehead.  “It still astounds me, though, that you give me that gift.  I love you.  But I feel undeserving.”

 

“I love you…trust comes with that.”

 

“Thank you.”

 

It took them some time before Yuuri was able to find his feet.  After cleaning up the studio, Victor left a note for Minako.

 

_ M, We cleaned the studio for you.  Thanks for letting us use it whenever we needed.  V/Y _

 

On the walk home, Yuuri leaned into him and Victor knew he would sleep almost as soon as he hit the pillows.  He shuttled him up the stairs and into the blankets before setting the alarms.  The flight tomorrow would be long.  Fifteen hours.  The dogs would be traveling below but they were restricted from food all day.  He hated that most about traveling great distances.  Denying Makkachin, and now Cocoa, was the most difficult task with the dogs.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Takeshi and Yuuko drove them to the airport the next morning after tearful goodbyes with family and Minako.  Yuuko was just as teary as they let them go.

 

“Make sure we hear from you,” she demanded.  Turning to Victor, she added, “Don’t let him forget to contact home.”

 

“I won’t,” Victor assured her.

 

“Okay.  I guess this is goodbye.”  She dashed away her tears.

 

“I’ll be back in December,” Yuuri assured her.  “Just in time for Nationals.”

 

“You had better,” Takeshi stated, clapping an arm on the younger man’s shoulder.

 

Holding the leads to their dogs, they headed into the airport.  Baggage checked, Makka and Cocoa crated and handed over because the flights were so long, they moved down the tarmac.  They were early and settled into the nearby seats to wait.

 

“So about that kiss you shared with Takeshi,” Victor murmured.

 

Yuuri chuckled.  “From all the stories you heard about me the other night, that’s the one that stuck?”

 

“Don’t get me wrong.  The others were cute.  But that was the one that left me with questions.”

 

“With good reason.  You heard the Yuuko version of the story.  The initial kiss…which was accidental.”

 

“There was another?”

 

“Immediately after.  It was awkward at first but then it wasn’t.  But when Takeshi pulled back, he was red faced…and apologized profusely.  He was…already dating Yuuko.  I didn’t know yet because neither one had said anything yet.  Afterwards, we kind of…avoided each other.  I was embarrassed.  Takeshi felt guilty.  Yuuko finally forced us to talk and that’s when the story tumbled out…the short version.  Takeshi apologized to her and she just laughed at him.  Later, she told me that she was glad he got that crush out of his system.”

 

“He had a crush on you.”

 

“Apparently that’s why he kept picking on me at the skating rink when I was younger and far too naïve.”

 

Victor laughed, slipping an arm around Yuuri.  “You are still far too naïve.  Delightfully so.”

 

A text came through as they were about to board.

 

**Minako/ Thank you for cleaning up after yourselves.  ;)  Safe travels.**

 

 

* * *

 

 

Yuuri snuggled against Victor on the plane, the dull ache in his back reminding him of the previous night in the studio.  “Although I’m going to miss my parents, I can’t wait to live alone with you,” he murmured.

 

Victor winced.  “About that…”

 

Yuuri sat up, his eyes widened, “He’s still there?”

 

“Yes, I’m afraid so.”

 

Yuuri huffed, his irritation evident.  “I’m not comfortable with this.  You knew that.”

 

“I can’t put him out on the streets,” Victor defended.  “I promised I would never put him out on the streets.”

 

Yuuri let out a frustrated breath.  “It’s just…weird…my boyfriend’s ex living in the same apartment.”

 

“It’s just for a month or two until he can find a place,” Victor explained.

 

“A month or two,” Yuuri stated slowly before dropping his head into his hands.  “He’s a complete stranger to me.”

 

“I know, Yuuri.  Phichit was, too, when you first met him,” Victor suggested tentatively.

 

“You are not comparing Phichit to your ex?” Yuuri asked incredulously, peering sharply from beneath his hands.  “It’s not the same.”

 

“You’d be fine if it were Chris,” Victor argued.  “I couldn’t…put him on the streets, Yuuri,” he repeated in frustration.   “Please, Yuuri.  Don’t be mad.”  He slid his hand down to take Yuuri’s, a plea in that touch.

 

Although he didn’t withdraw his hand, Yuuri leaned against the window, his expression closed off as the flight attendant started talking safety.   _ How in the hell am I going to do this? _

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NOTE: That’s right! Sasha is still there!
> 
>  
> 
> This story will continue in LIFELINE: St. Petersburg. There might be a slight delay while I make sure the first few chapters are just right. Make sure you are subscribed to the series so you don’t miss it! Also, keep the tissue on hand because this next part will have a lot of emotional roller coaster moments. I promise there will also be high heels…and silk stockings…the kind with a seam up the back. ;)
> 
>  
> 
> I will also be putting out some Chrichit stories…so keep an eye out for LIFELINE: Best Friend Tales. (I also want to touch on the can of worms I opened up with Sueng-gil and Phichit.)


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